When and as I see myself experiencing conflict within myself towards K, I stop, I breath, and I stop any judgements towards her, and I reflect on what I'm fearing within myself, and to focus on how I can support her within communication, and within the point of discussing things that are fun, within the context of understanding that what I see within her, is actually myself, and to apply self responsibility within communication, or if not communication, rather focusing on the point of self awareness, and direct my thoughts and feelings through assessing them through self forgiveness, and dissecting the point that I mainly feel conflicted towards K, and to continue practicing redirecting within self awareness, when around K.
I see and realize, that I am only projecting my insecurities of what I've limited myself within of thinking I'm somehow "nice" or "better than" K, because I have always limited myself within thinking I require relying on how she expresses herself, and thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that my self expression, is K's self expression, and that I am somehow dictated by how K expresses herself. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame K for her expression, because I have limited myself within depending on her expression, emotionally, to survive within my emotionally dependent expressions. I thus commit myself within this, to discover how I can express myself around other people, and see how I can direct myself within projections, and emotionally dependent reactions, and redirect them within supportive responses.
When and as I see myself losing myself within trying to portray myself as "nice" as a defense mechanism to seeing K's expression, I stop, I breath, and I push myself to focus on what's most supportive within communication to K, and if not in communication, what is most supportive to direct myself through my relationship to K's expression, within this seeing that I must learn to respond to her expressions, and see how I can support myself first, within being around K, whether I see her expressions as "good" or as "bad", and thus within this, discovering how I perceive K within how I've related myself to K.
I see and realize that me thinking K is "mean" is a limited judgement that I have used to not express myself towards K, in what I want within my relationship to her, and that I must utilize this perception, while at the same time applying solutions to when I feel uncomfortable around K, and to open up opportunities to communicate with K, in a way that I see most supportive for myself within being around K, within K's specific expression.
I commit myself to open up my next blog, in how I've limited myself within the definition of "aggression", and to walk through this definition, and to redefine it in a way that is more supportive within seeing how I can better respond to aggression, and take response ability for myself when faced with "aggression"/my perception of aggression.
I commit myself to STOP pretending to "feel nice", and to START LIVING and BREATHING and DIRECTING what's SUPPORTIVE. No more accepting and allowing BULLSHIT ideas that I'm somehow this nice person, but to live what nice really means. Within this, I commit myself to redefine "nice" as what I've related it as to "aggression", and to see within myself how I can live in a way that is actually supportive, and to walk through real time, out of the illusion of "nice".
I commit myself to rather direct conflict and backchat, through letting go of the experience, within self forgiveness, and to apply self correction within how I experience myself when K is expressing herself as "aggressive". Thus, when and as I see myself reacting to K within my perception of her being "aggressive", I stop, I breath, and I first, try and move the conversation into something that we would both find intriguing or interesting, and to first practice this approach every time I experience myself within perceiving her as being "aggressive", and or see what she wants to talk about that could potentially be supportive, and if it doesn't work out, simply focus on physical responsibility, first breathing, physically moving, and then seeing what is best to move myself within what's most supportive for myself within what's here. So for future reference, when and as I see that there isn't a compromise within communication, I continue what I am doing around K physically, or I do something else that is mores supportive than what I intended initially around K.
I commit myself to stop protecting these ideas, by walking my process through focusing on what best supports myself within my relationships, and thus within this, apply those same principles when around K, and to no longer accept false ideations, or experiences, to limit myself from what I know is supportive, and within this, implying within myself that I know who I am, which is living, which responsibility, which is equal to life, and thus, learning to apply these principles to my life, and to my relationships, including with K.
I see and realize that this paranoia, is a representation my mind is playing out, that I am losing touch with myself, and thus when and as I see myself feeling paranoid with what I'm doing, within allowing fears and limitations of myself around K that I've laid out her within correction, and if it comes to a point of paranoia, Immediately stop any thoughts, any reactions, and I focus hard on physical movement, and I direct myself back to practical awareness! and stop the self sabotage, stop the excuses to not direct myself within what I've laid out here, and to walk out of the experience, within seeing practically what I've placed as support for myself her in these self corrective statements. Thus within this, before I decide to go around k, I commit myself to always read this blog, and to also expand myself within my awareness of myself when around k, through finding moments to forgive myself, and to expand on self corrective application.