forgiving myself

User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Anna » 18 Aug 2013, 22:03

Cool Luc - glad to see you writing again!

lol - quite the experience with waking up to being 'anointed' by one's mother hehe



User avatar
Luc St-Amand
Posts: 183
Joined: 13 Nov 2012, 16:54

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Luc St-Amand » 19 Aug 2013, 01:33

I came to visit last year for a couple nights. One morning I woke up and noticed a shiny cross on my forehead lol. This morning she had no intention of anointing" me, I just allowed the memory to become back chat. Also we're not that close as in i barely see or spend time with her. So i felt uncomfortable, hearing her walking around and stuff. Ive been on my own for awhile so i guess i got use to silence while i slept.



User avatar
Luc St-Amand
Posts: 183
Joined: 13 Nov 2012, 16:54

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Luc St-Amand » 19 Aug 2013, 01:55

Im also glad to know I am welcome, when honestly, i dont deserve it, ill make the best of the time Ive been given, and i undoubtedly know whats best is self forgiveness.



User avatar
Kristina
Posts: 1535
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:18
Contact:

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Kristina » 19 Aug 2013, 03:21

Cool Luc - so as you see for yourself, points to self forgive as what is best



User avatar
Garbrielle
Posts: 1359
Joined: 15 Jun 2011, 03:29

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Garbrielle » 19 Aug 2013, 03:31

Cool Luc, let's make the best of the time we have here, that's a practical way to live for sure.



User avatar
Luc St-Amand
Posts: 183
Joined: 13 Nov 2012, 16:54

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Luc St-Amand » 28 Aug 2013, 16:41

Bernard's death has been on my mind, the fact that he died on my birthday and that I was up till 5am that morning haunts me. My self interest says I am special, that he lives through me more so then others. I know this is not true, I know my mind is attempting to trap me in a belief, a foolish one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that Bernard lives through me, and that I am special because Bernard was indeed special and had a huge impact on me and so many others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that Bernard is any different then the rest of life. He was equal and emphasized that to me repeatedly although he stood for something that seemingly no one or few are willing to stand for. to life Bernard was special. Now its up to me to pick up the tools and get to work.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be angry with Bernard for dying, not being able to hear his words bothers me. I know that when I forgive myself and apply the tools he has shown me, I am in fact hearing Bernard and living what he would want me/all of us to live.

I cryed when I found out he died, because I wanted to meet Bernard, meet the man that is responsible for laying the words of forgiveness upon my ears. for opening my eyes and confirming to me that which we as a whole have become. yet helping me to establish a way out. a fix to the problem. Bernard did that, not me, I couldn't, I was lost, I was deceiving myself within belief constructs such as god and love and positivity.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to wait so long to begin my process, to actually take the steps to change, I wish I could have done it when he was alive, I mean, I lied to myself and desteni when he was alive, I wanted to be accepted by what I knew was truth and was willing to lie to do so.

The clarity is very real, and living within breathe and not my thoughts has become so much easier now that I do not smoke weed, although, my thoughts still exist within self interest I recognize them and stop them and will stop them.



Marlen
Posts: 4120
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
Contact:

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Marlen » 29 Aug 2013, 15:58

Cool, Luc for stopping weed and realizing the clarity that comes up with that.

I made a vlog on these points you mention which you can check out here if you haven't watched it Bernard Poolman's Passing Away

And there's also interviews by the Atlanteans explaining this point and how to walk it as additional support:

Regret: What is it? - Atlanteans - Part 120
Regret: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 121
Regret: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 122


So, continuing walking here is the way to live what Bernard is and still is here for all of us to live by and apply, so that's the way to honor the example that he was as a man here, but the principles remain.



Eleonora
Posts: 636
Joined: 10 Aug 2011, 18:17
Contact:

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Eleonora » 26 Nov 2013, 22:58

Hei Luc,
glad to see you here.
Thanks for sharing yourself on the forum again.



User avatar
Luc St-Amand
Posts: 183
Joined: 13 Nov 2012, 16:54

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Luc St-Amand » 06 Jan 2015, 05:44

Stubbornness

First I am stubborn when I believe my opinion is right. Second I am stubborn about opinions that I am not confident/sure about.

Common sense pervails and in most cases common sense is what i apply. An example would be with my father, he believes in the bible and tries to convince me that jesus is the only one that can save me.. common sense tells me only I can save myself from my short comings. So we offten get caught up in endless debates that turn aggresive and creates conflict between us, because of my stubbornness

When i was young the carnival came around every summer, me and my sister could not wait and would beg our mother over and over again even thouhh she had agrred to go with us on the weekend. I remember observing within me a willingness to wait untill the weekend because my moms reasons were valid amd made a lot of sense. But we woild push amd push, of course untill conflict was created because of my stubbornness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to paticipate in stubbornness when i believe i am right in a debate about religion with my father

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting conflict because of my stubbornness when debating with my father.

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as i see myself participate with stubbornness when talking about religion. I realize that talking/debating about belief constructs with religous folk is not a good idea and will only create conflict. There for it is now my responsibility to stop it before it occures.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to ignorantly participate in stubbornness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself with consistancy and common sense direct myself away from stubbornness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject all outside points with willfully participating with ignorance.



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: forgiving myself

Postby Anna » 06 Jan 2015, 09:55

Cool Luc.




Return to “Sharing Self Forgiveness”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron