SF on emails from coworkers

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kevina P
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Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 21:59

SF on emails from coworkers

Postby kevina P » 09 Mar 2013, 11:09

Yesterday I received an email from a coworker regarding shift swaps and the way it came across was definitely not as friendly and considerate as I would have wanted it to be. Needless to say, the moment I read the email I instantly reacted to it and started feeling this pang of anger and frustration built up inside my. IT was like I was sick to my stomach.

MY mind has since then been pondering upon why this person was mean and inconsiderate. SO I had to investigate what is was in this email that first of all caused this situation to even exist in my life and secondly realize what to do to correct this so that I do not have to recreate the same situation all over again. AS I read the email over and over, I realize that there are a few points that emerged in me.

1. Starting point of Greed.
I realize that the reason I created this situation was because my starting point was greed as in wanting more money via working more shifts. I was ready to work the evenings at the expense of this coworker switching her shifts to nights so that I can be accommodated.

2. Resentment and Revenge.
I wanted her to do the nights because a lot of us have already had our share of it except for her and I thought to be fair to everyone she should contribute towards it.

3. Not communicating properly.
I had assumed the supervisor would have communicated to her about her switching of shifts before I sent the email to her. IT could be that she thought I was the one trying to get her to do the nights
and therefore felt I was telling her to do the nights. Therefore assuming something beforehand as opposed to clarifying the source of the outcome is what could have triggered the nasty email.

4. Failure to consider the source
The source was that the person feels a bit frustrated at the fact that she has not been offered extra shifts or overtime and therefore her response was totally based on her starting point which was anger.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to operate from the starting point of greed where all I Cared about was my self-interest through the form of money, failing to realize that by doing so I have neglected to see that my other coworker could also perhaps benefit from obtaining more income herself. I correct this to: the next time a night shift gets offered to me, I will email that person and ask them if they wanted to do some overtime and base my response accordingly also ensuring that if I need money that I do not compromise my own financial situation.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel resentful and wanting to seek revenge by having this coworker do the night shifts because in the past I have always been the one who was forced under operational requirements to do them. I thus felt that it was payback time and I realize that I just want to seek revenge by having other people go through the same shit that I had been going through the past 2 years. I Realize now that this is just operating from the starting point of ego and seeking fairness and equality by having others endure what I had to endure. I Realize that this is just feeding my mind. I allow myself to let go of this desire to seek revenge by wanting or expecting other people to also conform and do night shifts. I correct this to: The next time the night shift person calls in sick, I do what is required to seek for a replacement. IF no one replies, I tell myself that this is the way people have been programmed, which is to not be nocturnal animals and realize that the reason people do not wish to do nights is because of our physiological programming and that has nothing to do with me. I therefore let go of this expectation and realize that there is no point wishing or hoping someone will say yes to coming to doing the night shift because that is seeking separation and feeding the mind. I breathe, allow myself to stabilize myself and then tell myself, this is life, it is reality, we humans are not meant to become nocturnal and therefore I take 100% responsibility for what I do by doing what is needed to ensure coverage for nights.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to assume that my supervisor had talked about shift swaps to the coworker and therefore based my email on that knowledge, without realizing that this is putting me in a situation where I am being seen as a bully. The next time a situation like this happens, before CCing the email to the other person, I will make sure that I check to see if we are all on the same page.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to take things personally and blame myself for being taken advantage of, thus allowing my mind consciousness to overtake me.I realize that this email was just a trigger to manifesting the point of being a victim and reacting to this personality thereby feeding the mind. The next time I read an email, I stop, breathe and ask myself to Consider the source. I then investigate why and where the person is coming from and take 100% responsibility to correct the situation if need be.

http://www.empowernetwork.com/kevinap/b ... coworkers/

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Re: SF on emails from coworkers

Postby Maite » 09 Mar 2013, 12:25

Cool Kevina!

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Re: SF on emails from coworkers

Postby Aliraza142 » 14 Nov 2014, 14:36

I forgive myself for allowing me to feel that I am stuck with someone who is a ‘loser’ based on my definitions of who is what. I realize that it is me who has control over my life and that this feeling of being stuck is something my mind has created to keep my enslaved and preoccupied and preventing me from exploring what else life is all about.


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Re: SF on emails from coworkers

Postby Carrie » 14 Nov 2014, 17:10

Hey Aliraza! Thanks for sharing self-forgiveness here. Cool that you're participating on the forum.

When you have a moment, it would be great if you could please introduce yourself in the Introduce Yourself section and share with us a little about yourself, how you found Desteni, and where you're at currently within your process of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-investigation and self-awareness - are you taking the DIP Lite course?

Also, please make sure to read through the Forum Guidelines and if you have any questions, you can place them in the Ask a Destonian thread.

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