http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2013/10/day- ... doing.html
Day 58 - mind of matter - pretending doing something consistently, instead of doing it
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the belief of potential and physical participation, through making excuses that I did "this much and this much, and so therefor I don't require going further than this"
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have this within my process, where I will pretend I've reached a point that I'm clearly cognitive of, and create this image of that knowledge, instead of actually applying that relization through self writing/self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that ive accepted and allowed myself to thus create exploitation towards myself to protect wanting to essentially control others through fear of losing my relationships, as mind. Us within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deminish myself in relationships through creating mind fulfillment a of what I will do, who I am, and thus within my physical relationships, inevitably expect others to pay attention to me in order to verify my own lazyness and abuse to continue deceiving myself and others through someone I'm not.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to self sabotage myself in order to kee myself loathing instead of practically changing my relationships throu self application, writing, physical application fom what I write.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to this not realize that following my schedule is a way to allow my physical application to become effective, and thus doesn't let the mind get in the way to fuck with the application I usually always say I will do and never do, because I'm to busy kind fucking myself and others with nonsense delusion of my own self abuse, through trying to preserve illusion.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus compare myself to others within everything I participate in, not realizing that I am simply fighting for control, because I've accepted and allowed myself to place false definitions towards my relationships,and thus inevitably cause conflict here in this physical reality for its abstraction, and its abusiveintent.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself to what my intent is, and thus 'try' to act out intent, not realizing that I'm in fact escaping facing my intent throu procrastination and lazyness.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up my control of others, and thus my simulations that I used to delude myself for the abuse I created towards others.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of what I have accepted and allowed, but to instead create humiliation, punishment, etc. towards myself, and allow myself to be bought into these definitions, when I've essentially known damn well that they are nothing but energetic experiences that I will create to make excuses to not take self responsibility for myself for what is best for all equal to myself in this reality.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuses of others participating in it, s tht must mean I require surviving in it, therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to simply relate memories of have participated in these experiences, and doing the universal excuse pattern with the guilt, humiliation, etc.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am not well, that I have been fucked with, and I've allowed my own fuckness, and thus this worlds fuckness, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not stand for what's best for myself as who I a here, but keep making these mind religious excuses to keep myself preoccupied with fucking others over, and thus compromising my ability to change this, simply because of allowing others to have deceived me, and thus I forgive myself for not accepting myself as life when I have the tools to do so, and us accept my relationships as life, having the tools now to do so, and t stop what I've allowed myselfto have been deceived into participating in.
I'm commited to stop fucking around, stop talking, stop conveying bullshit images, and to push through the mind resistance, but learn how to stabilize myself as breath equally, to ensure that I can support myself and my environment, thus win is I'm comited to continue my schedule, I'm commited to give myself break times to slow myself down and breath.
I'm commited to walk through all points of beliefs, all points of resistance, all points of negative and positive experiences win my mind, and apply this steady schedule to this commitment, to again, ensures am stable enough to support my environment, thus I'm commited to do what's necessary in cases of instability, and to ensure that I face the points that cause unstable moments.
I'm commited to investigate all points which I convey myself as a false image to suppress the self responsibility required to walk through my commitment for what's best for myself as life and all life equal to myself.