Nicks self forgiveness

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Nicklk1795
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Nicklk1795 » 05 Nov 2013, 12:44

http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... write.html


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to in consequence becme lost within points where I have to think extensively on what points I need to take care of, due to inconsistent focusing and manipulation for self interest purposes.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create this point of forgetting due to falling into lazyness, emotional releases, and ways I manipulate myself to not walk through points .

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create this apethetic mood due to the awareness of having to actually write in rea physical time, and not back up with some point of self interest which I had utilized to an extent.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to push through real time due to having to lose the selfINTEREST attachments currently in order to walk further through current points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go over my break time limit n order to have this self interest fulfillment and an excuse that it is a break time, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of the oppurtunity to slow down and breath and enjoy àn activity.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create relationships with others, and have made the excuse to continue lacking effectiveness deliberately, because ive accepted and allowed myself to create limitation and self abuse as something t be comfortable with, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I'm in emotional drive, and in lazyness, I am going to have deliberate misdirection with what's valid to do, and when I'm effective, then I can actually work with what is here much more quicker and effectively and clearly, instead ofthe vagueness which mind imagery maniulationg creates, as a way to keep myself fucked in my mind, to fuck with my physical potential, and consideration.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not take the chance to give myself a physical practical direction for my points. Within this, I thus commit myself to focus on a point which can circulate around my writings throughout the day, which to make this even more effective, find the coolest point to focus n in my physical participation journal, to therefor have the most concious activity at the omens when writing about my physical participations, and en bringing that similar activity up at the end of the day and to thus have a better conclusion on the more fundamental reasoning for my physica participation limitations within those moments. I commit myself to thus walk through this to better practice walking step by step, and self creating the understanding of pushing through, but staying patient with point by point, where I don't just self sabotage for missing points that I over thought and then just lose the energy in my mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I'm going to ware myself out physically in relationship to self process, to however it operates, but generally because my mind will relate to my physical as manipulation to go through the excessive patterns where I manipulate my physical participation as smething uneeded, and where I will want to take longer resting periods, and also will become less effective with pushing through details within writting.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate pushing throu details, as this ultimate point of facing a deeper punishment for what I've accepted as myself, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed mysef to self sabotage myself to requiring more extensive work in certain moments, due to having manipulated real time work with having to impress peers with working hard, and then when I feel too exploited and too rushed and worn out, have this amount of time where I will self sabotage myself for working to hard, since I deliberately created the point of over working to where people can feel sorry for me, and tell me in working 'way toohrd' and so I then use that in relation to the transcending option when I realize this, and then just go easily with maki the excuse that because I've worked s extensively, that I can just take is massive period of lacking ability and not aspiring within myself as life to progress wi ability.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to however create self interest within progressing within ability to control others and try to beat others within process, as the reaction to trying to be effective as considering life, simply because I fear ill be punished for my points, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to catagorize the relationships with my points and the consequences these points potentially and will have, in order to not physically walk throu them to practically eradicate each point, due to the very fear of losing this fundamental fear of punishment and its dimensions with what I've related to consumerism, my appearance, money, and survival in general.

I commit myself to redefine my relationship t what I've accepted and allowed as abusive and n considerate of life, as something that is practically unnecaptable, and thus building the understanding through walking through points, to eradicate the polarity of feari punishment, where I thus no longer compromise my ability to walk through the points wi the excuses I've always protected frm feari punishment and manipulating my clarity with how to change myself through just relating punishment towards past, and future.

I commit myself to thus redefine my relationship with time, to where I can use time to practically move with what's here, and not manipulate it through relating fantasies and fears of failure with time to thus only distract the value of considering what's best for all life, and thus become effective with timing and a more natural progression within my process as life, and not as a worried consumer of losing relationships with money and control I've placed towards the relationships.

I commit myself to thus walk through this process, and thus gradually understand that the feelings that come up in reaction to this process, are all manipulative and deceptive and limiting, and thus I commit myself to not make e excuse that because I'm still preprogrammed with feelings, that that must mean that its too difficult, because that statement in itself is implying that Im merely limiting myself with a feeling to think I either have to rush or just give up, and thus I commit myself to thus cross reference when in this moment of fear, thunder stand, that it takes step by step, because its practical evolution, it is space time. It takes the basics -the bread, then you go in more depth - the cheese and meat, then you expand to what really places it together - the lettuce and tomatoes, and the you see what causes it t resonate - the dressing.

When I find myself in this position of placing lazyness and this apathetic writ on my shoulders as if its just difficult to push through points to consider become more effective practically, I will breath, I will understand that I am simply working with what's here, which takes one step, two step, and then the next, and thus create clarity of pushing through points, and thus pushing rough process.

I commit myself to thus walk through this understanding to build relationship with my process in itself as being consistently in wider frames of space time, and thus where I build a fundamental understanding and thus consideration of what's here as space time, as myself in it, then the animals plants and humans, then the earth, then the universe. Thus I commit myself to eradicate expectation of understanding this quickens, and walk through point by point, to understand that this process will require step by step participation to all levels, and to every extent of space time. Which thus, when I find myself considering expectation of past and future over space time, and what's here, I breath, relate the step by step points, and then come back here, to the moment by moment reality, the physical.

Ps - if there is names in my blogs, please x them. I will find a way to work with this iPad better untill I can get a nice computer, but sometimes it will just completely replace words Randomly. Nonetheless enjoy the blog.



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Nicklk1795
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Nicklk1795 » 10 Nov 2013, 12:29

http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... ility.html


Day 73 - procrastinating responsibility with the excuse of confusion
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate responsibility with the notion that because I'm too confused, that must mean I am inane to build up directive principle for what's best for all life, thus what's best for myself in co existence to my environment and the life in it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to do this from the built up accumulatin of self sabotage, guilt regret, self victimization, and placing myself in this position where I will challenge taking action, simply because. Allowed myself to have accumulated to such a point of misdirection, that that must mean I cannot stop and change myself, to have directive principle to stop the point of abuse, t stop the point of misdirection.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have held on to mistakes, and consequences that occurred, and then make the excuse that because I'm now facing a difficult point that seems to very easily tend to create such consequences, that must mean I should just isolate myself because I cannot direct myself because I am just this bad person and basically deserve to not be a participant within this world, and then from that will blow mysp consequence out of proportion t self sabotage myself more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not walk through the pont f confusion by firstly stoping and breathing, letting go of hat I'm fearing, and then take at least that first step to change the intentions I have accumulated from the past, the fears, absolutely everything, and not stopping untill that intent no longer exists, as all emotional patterns, to assure that I can clearly stand as life, and direct all forms of intent, where I do not cause consequences to occur any further.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to pretty much any other who is walking a similar process, as if I'm like in the worst position of intent, or am the least capable of doing smething, or am the least willing, and so its just too hard because I'm just this worthless person, thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to simply relate what I've been presented from my parents of the extent of how inadequate I've experienced within myself my hole life, and then once I actually have this chance to change myself to not that self loathing self judgmental person, and into actually independent, actually a being who pushes through these tough points, and thus actually a being willing to even sacrifice self interest that uses to protect such a design.

I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus make the excuse of my past inabilities, and relate them to myself now, as if I'm just not good enough to do smething, or take on abilities that have clearly been formed to face more advanced points within my existence.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not simply start directing myself through the moments I find myself confused, and instead accumulate that to only more points that I have t back track to the point where I could stood up, breathed, and applied investigation by considering what's best for all life within that moment.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus try to protect this notion that their are easier and harder points, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself t be harder on myself on easier points, and easier on mysef on harder points, within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place the emotional attachment of guilt and self victimization when reaching a more extensive point, and then placing this punishment go all out on the less extensive more basic points.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to not breath within writing this, but instead protect an emotion attachment within this. I commit myself to thus breath here, and then t direct myself further to what's most practical.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to just want to give to the discomfort of exposing myself within this process due to accumulation and the pattern of making the excuses that I have from having pushed mysef so hard, and then just strolling on through without really taking self responsibility to what I've accepted and allowed within myself.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to not let go of the point of expecting appreciation for what I'm walking, working with.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to try to protect and verify this relationship with having t have this be the starting point of moving, to e point of having I have a physical consequence occur to actually push through and stop procrastinating the self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to simply as a mind consequence,create a build up of abuse simply because I well understand that needing t be appreciated to move myself doesn't exist, and then when I decieve the opposite frm appreciation, I simply am on a short fuse from causing abuse because I can no longer go int suppression and mind games with myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create confusion as a suppressor to taking directive principle in changing this with actually facing each point that relates to wanting to be appreciated within my expression.

I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus want to protect myself from creating the same consequence as before, instead of just stopping myself all in all, and walking through what the fuck I need to walk through to simply stop the intent, stop the bullshit emotions, and start participating in what I well know and to an extent understand within what I require walking with, such as a schedule and physical participation.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make such an expectation from the very starting point of wanting to be appreciated within my expression, to where I will thus create the very confusion where I face a point of dishonesty within the physical participations in my schedule, where I will just go int the same survival emotional roller coaster mode and then quickly give up in fear of facing the intent, and thus changing the relationship.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself t not realize that when I participate with physical participation, I will face the very dishonest that I've accepted and allowed to relate to what's valid, what's real, what's real responsibility, real care, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the idea that it will just be a breeze to walk through physical participation, and then when I actually start participating, the points I'm currently acing innevitably get triggered, and that being a chance to physically change myself, I just give up because I don't want to give up the illusion, the emotional attachment of being appreciated, which has nothing to d with physical,with working with what's here.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to thus crate working with what's here as bigger than me, that I cannot change, because what m changing is bigger than me. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of relying on this character relationship through walking through physical participation, and breathing, and holding off on points, and changing relationships, and Ching out, then standing back up, etc. to practically change the very foundation that I've created this idea of myself as bigger than life, wich is me, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not consider life, myself as life, and thus place this fear demon as smething real over me, where that can make the moves, and that can be the decision maker in this physical manifestation as my very existence in itself.

I commit myself to redefine my relationship to my process practically as where I will stop me moment when in the mind, breath, and take a stand within that first step to changing the relationship, the intent, the point, and not go into guilt, regret, and dwell on past points, thus within this I commit myself to be self honest that I still have this intent of selfINTEREST within my process, and that it is extensively flawed, and thut I commit myself to build an understanding of myself within my process through every aspect of physical movement.

I commit myself to stop the comparisons with others to only bring myself down to the point of what I've accepted and allowed myself to be as inadequate.

I commit myself to thus build a foundation of self responsibility of wherei will no longer be influenced and limited by the illusion that I have someone over my shoulder who intends n punishing me if I don't stand in this moment, or fall in this moment etc., and thus. Commit myself to stop the procrastination through the illusion of another, which within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize,that the moment. Allow myself to fall, to accumulate nergy, that I will inevitably have procrastination through wanting t blame another, or have selfvictimstion or self sabotage, since the very egoi allowed to not fdirectmyself off of, still exists within me, and thus that which I've made an existent reality, will relate to myself and will thus challenge me only further the more I allow the layers to exist.

I commit myself to create a ste by step foundation of this process, to where I understand focusing on this point, the that point, and thus I commit myself t not integrate procrastination within my schedule of physical participation, to thus not keep myself from identifying how practical application really works through learning how accepting every physical participation allows myself to live just as considerate to what I've allowed myself to build as considerate to every physical event within my schedule, which within this I commit myself to not create expectation frm this point, but t however understand I am inadequate to an extent within this moment,mans thus I practically require pushing through Ipthere points of inconsideration, to build this foundation of consideration,and thus I commit myself to practically bring it back to self with breath, slow myself down, and then continue with the schedule. I thin this I commit myself to always br got back to schedule, and then once I am effectively continueing with what I require, then I build off of that physical practical direction, and see where I had fallen for a moment, and fix it with the next writting.

I commit myself to thus now know that I have the upbasic direction I need where I can no longer make excuses, wherei can n longer allow mysef to accumulate myself off course to emotional turmoil, thus within this to assure that I do not forget points to change my inadequacy, and try to place mysef on past relationships that ive clearly commited to change, or even might have changed to an extent, commit myself to read my writting frm the evening before bed in the morning, to thus have a foundation of self directive principle, and not allow the rebooting of my mind to take over as the foundation frm the point I awake.

When I find myself in a turmoil emotionally, physically, I will stop, I will breath, I will start from the very stil position here, I will start from the very point of needing to change what I've allowed myself t be misdirected as, and I walk through all necessary changes, and if I find myself confused, then interconnecting with that extent of misdirection, and taking the first most possible clear change within that oment, that will assure, that I do not continue p the position of abuse.



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Anna
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Anna » 10 Nov 2013, 14:17

Very cool self-support here Nick.

Thanks for sharing!



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Nicklk1795
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Nicklk1795 » 12 Nov 2013, 12:57

http://mwtcwp.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... write.html

My walk to consistency within process
Day 1 - losing energy to write
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the point of procrastination and laziness , frm the perspective that because I'm losing the expectations I have placed within my process to self benifit, that now this must mean that particiular points aren't so important anymore, like, who cares ifi let this point accumulate and continue a reference for myself when it is of value t my environment where I will cause a consequence, because he feeling of expectation, and self fulfillment of gan just simply isn't ere, so that must mean that everything is just fucked because it isn't for 'me'.

I commit myself to write form a redefined point of self, of always bringing it back to self as writing for self, and not because I want to hold n to the old patterns that I tried to convince myself were real, and now because I see they aren't real, merely making e excuse that because that doesn't relate well to writing anymore and is much firer deminished, that I must go back to get the fulfillment of that emotional attachment to writing, and thus I should not write, or I should not breath and discovering the step to stand for a change within the relationship which I've defined as emotion.

Wen I find myself In and as a pattern of protecting an emotional attachment, in this resistance and excuse that I must still endure the emotional pattern to stay stable to continue process, I breath, I so the very compulsion that manifests from this protection, and I directly relate t what to change within that moment, that in fact brings it backs changing directly self, and not holding n to a stability point that I used t manipulate within my process, and t kee benifitng that emotion through manipulating words and statements that would in any way create a euphemism from facing the point.


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sylvia
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby sylvia » 12 Nov 2013, 15:53

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the point of procrastination and laziness , frm the perspective that because I'm losing the expectations I have placed within my process to self benifit, that now this must mean that particiular points aren't so important anymore, like, who cares ifi let this point accumulate and continue a reference for myself when it is of value t my environment where I will cause a consequence, because he feeling of expectation, and self fulfillment of gan just simply isn't ere, so that must mean that everything is just fucked because it isn't for 'me'.
Nick this SF isn't really clear to me, could you strip this one down to the core of what you want to forgive. The SF as it is now is more like a ranting and raving piece of writing, try to keep things clear all times in your SF.
I commit myself to write form a redefined point of self, of always bringing it back to self as writing for self, and not because I want to hold n to the old patterns that I tried to convince myself were real, and now because I see they aren't real, merely making e excuse that because that doesn't relate well to writing anymore and is much firer deminished, that I must go back to get the fulfillment of that emotional attachment to writing, and thus I should not write, or I should not breath and discovering the step to stand for a change within the relationship which I've defined as emotion.
Here as well you need some clarity, be practical within your commitments, how can you apply things in real life that are fuzzy. Please rephrase this one to get to the core point of what you want to communicate with yourself.
Wen I find myself In and as a pattern of protecting an emotional attachment, in this resistance and excuse that I must still endure the emotional pattern to stay stable to continue process, I breath, I so the very compulsion that manifests from this protection, and I directly relate t what to change within that moment, that in fact brings it backs changing directly self, and not holding n to a stability point that I used t manipulate within my process, and t kee benifitng that emotion through manipulating words and statements that would in any way create a euphemism from facing the point.
I would say till here it is clear "Wen I find myself In and as a pattern of protecting an emotional attachment, in this resistance and excuse that I must still endure the emotional pattern to stay stable to continue process, I breath" and I stop. within this I realize .....

It's cool to use a format for these corrective statements that is already clear in itself which does push you into clarity.

When and as I see myself participating within this pattern of .....I stop and I breathe. Within this I realize that the energy of this experience is directing me and I am not the directive force here. Thus I stop this participation in this energy as .... thoughts and do not participate, but breathe myself here in and as the physical.



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Nicklk1795
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Nicklk1795 » 13 Nov 2013, 12:58

Hi Sylvia. Firstly, as I usually like to state Incase, is there will be typos that seem confusing, so I've had to bare with that burden because this iPad being so ditsy. Ok, so as far as this new blog in itself, I've placed this blog, maybe as something that could be effective, because there was a point in writing where I thought to try this blog out. Which is, at the end of the day, after having written and utilized my usual writing, is I pick up how I limited myself within my potential to fully apply myself, like, how I related a polarity point to my process in itself. So this is generally a way to build up consistency within my process. I understood that at first it may be a bit vague because I've yet to really investigate this aspect of my process, so therefor I've started myself out with one sf/sc/SCS each day untill I can see how to move from there, and this is a point of writting after having taken care of many other blogs and writings, and working and physica participation etc, so after being physically tired, I can end e day seeng a basic point ever night with how I can stop the polarity limitations that may cause me to go into an emotional state and inconsistency and throwing myself off of what I've commited to and corrected, etc. so all of that will take walking through this new blog to see where it leads.

Like for instance, I had seen generally that when I find myself walking through a point, I try to verify the reaction Within myself instead of changing it then and there, because i Have this emotional background sense of wanting to keep the stability point of how I had recently driven myself to stay stable within writing. So this is where I was getting at within this post.m which I understood being vague, but therefor from this starting point of self directive awareness, I can see the next point, and then that brings Bout a new dimension

.if this is something you would see as something to not necessarily apply to myself within process then I will hold off. I haven't really seen this as desteni material but it was when I found myself writing and judging myself within writing so much. That I thought to make something where I can utilize the polarity points within writing while being able to reach allot of the reactions day to day. The point that I'm curious of is whether this is like an assumption sort of creation and not being aware if this can possibly be counter productive in some sense, again simply because I haven't really seen anything on directly focusing on correcting self within process in itself, or like if that should just naturally take its course without directing.. Nonetheless ill be applying myself within this blog again tonight and will post it here, ill check with how to be more in detail with basic statements, maybe just go ahead and branch it out to 3 points like I do in my physical participation points, which I have allot unrecorded on Internet so once I get those here and the other blogs I can coincide it with this new blog easier. So ill wait for response if needed with the next post on this blog. Thank you Sylvia



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sylvia
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby sylvia » 13 Nov 2013, 17:01

so after being physically tired, I can end e day seeng a basic point ever night with how I can stop the polarity limitations that may cause me to go into an emotional state and inconsistency and throwing myself off of what I've commited to and corrected, etc. so all of that will take walking through this new blog to see where it leads.
Cool Nick trying new ways of writing yourself out and yes at the end of the day one can be tired and not able to do long writings. So the point of taking on a bit and not going into an emotional state, instead of writing and doing nothing is really cool.
but therefor from this starting point of self directive awareness, I can see the next point, and then that brings Bout a new dimension
If it truly brings you through being the directive principle to another level/dimension it is cool. I do suggest to keep your writings clean and to the point, especially when you share them publicly and thus you want others to read it and recognize themselves in your situation.
.if this is something you would see as something to not necessarily apply to myself within process then I will hold off.
It is your process Nick and if you like to play with the type of writing you do, please do so, but again when doing this publicly one has to consider ones readers.
The point that I'm curious of is whether this is like an assumption sort of creation and not being aware if this can possibly be counter productive in some sense, again simply because I haven't really seen anything on directly focusing on correcting self within process in itself, or like if that should just naturally take its course without directing..
You only know whether it is counter productive when you walk it in real time, and this is something you can walk in real time you can experiment/play with. Self-correction isn't something that takes it's course without directing. Self-correction is a Self-willed action that you do in full awareness and that's where the change takes place/start.
So ill wait for response if needed with the next post on this blog.
I would say go for the short blog and take a point and do lets say 3 SF on it, just stay focussed and to the point like you do on the physical SF. What is of great support to me to not get into emotional or energetic writing is to keep the SF quite short, but seek for the emotion, feeling or fear and name that as Self-honest as you can be/realize yourself in that moment. When my sentences get long or even beautiful, most of the time I write from energy and are not able to correct myself from there. Maybe you recognize this way of expressing writing your SF, avoiding it keeps me sharp and to the point.

Thanks for explaining yourself Nick and keep on going!



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Nicklk1795
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Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Nicklk1795 » 16 Nov 2013, 03:32

http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... -with.html

Friday, November 15, 2013

Day 76 - generalizing process with knowledge energy
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that by stating a honest truth/statement that I've related to being simply known and not fully walked throu in the directions which I've accepted myself as false, that it somehow gives me an empowerment simply by telling myself knowledge, which thus manipulating myself from actually living that knowledge in every direction with the energy/belief that I am what I claim as lived with using knowledge.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have used ways of trying to feel powerful by stating knowledge to others, to feed the energy of preventing myself frm actually living and showing the outcome of what I claim.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have compromised my process, and others abili to lean what I'm learning, by exploiting myself within my process as knowledge, and he glory ese I've attached to that knowledge, and resonating that knowledge as truth, when itmismin fact to manipulate others into fear of following me only, to control others in fear of being manipulated with knowledge from another.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus react to the fear of being manipulated in my past, as when I had so mny opportunities to stand for life, I accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated under knowledge, because I've accepted and allowed myself to as well participate in surviving as knowledge, and thus was simply put as inferior because I Llowed myself to want to be superior.

I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to verify all the times I tried to control others, and t try to verify all the times I hadsucceeded as whA I accumulated as that controller as if there's no changing that because I've already puppeted certain people, thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have abused others because I had taken advantage of my process with fear of being taken advantage of. Within this I commit myself to only speak as self forgiveness self corrective statements, untill I can fully bro myself here practically to instead of the intent of controlling others, create myself under the true intent of supporting others to help the, and resonate this support, us strictly hurting the fuck up and only applying self forgiveness self corrective statements, making is much more helpful for others to really see me live what I state within myself, and thus making it easier where I wnt cause abuse that I accumulated to have to further utilize, and further own up to.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not fully own up to my shit, but instead create a void of changing myself by e build up of controlling other, thus I commit myself to not take lightly of this, and walk every dimension within myself, my petty male ego, that I've ever attempted and have tried to control another equal being, and abuse them and anise life.

Within this, I commit myself to start walking every direction of myself, and eradicate all points of excuses in my new blog of 'walking to consistency within process' and as well pointing these dimensions out within my journey to I've blogs,

I commit myself to stop the guilt, to stop the obsessions to protect this pont, and walk through every possible step to create myself as trust worthy around life, and within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to be self honest that I still have the intent of controlling and Ausing life, and that within this commitment I am not fully trustwory, but am simply giving myself directive principle to follow the steps of actually living this statement, the commitment to being trustworthy.

When I see myself in and as manipulating a reaction, or a point with trying to resonate knowledge as if I am living that simply by relating to that point of knowledge. I stop, and I let go of the reaction, what I try to protect that reaction, what I try to use to control that reaction by figuring it out within my mind, and breath each point out, and then, fully eradicate the point with self forgiveness primarily and strictly. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame others when I react to them, and then try to victimize myself within that reaction to en set up Allan to abuse them, and others from what I've accepted and allowed as that fear reaction.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to sugar coat my own self destruction, and my own accepted and allowed evil with this point of blame and victimization, and thus I also forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to keep myself in self sabotage once I've accumulated consequences of trying to control the other person with deception, as if I have this get away card because I'm a destonian "better than them, and they are simply inferior to me" and then inking this can continue because what I've accepted and allowed myself to relate to non destonians as bad, and thus I'm this victim t them and that I can use the old pattern of self interest within desteni to use and exploit the other destonians for my self interest.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then create e point of confusion, as this easy point to not face the point I've accepted and allowed within myself as trying to control and abuse others within the point of manipulating process with exploiting myself as knowledge.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not practically change this and letting go of the fear of others controlling me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create points of escapism to keep myself trapped in the point of resent and blame to continue this point of controlling and a using another with exploiting myself as superior knowledge.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to manipulate other destonians with exploiting myself wi the act of being life, to thus verify this point of self putty, self blame, to continue the point of abuse within myself, the point of controlling others and keeping my abusive intent.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate this point that I can excuse the other points of abusewithin myself, to relating he emotional point and deceptive tactic of " ok they read this and that within my blogs, so now I can continue trying to control them with the other abusive points by stating knowledge on my fb statuses, or by commenting on their posts and claiming this self righteous act of who I am.

I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to make e excuse that because I've already exposed mysef in this manner, that I somehow owe this apology from the perspective and starting point of humiliation, thus within this I forgive mysef that I've not accepted and allowed myself to practically walk through the point, and change the abusive point to in fact living as trust worthy.

I forgive mysef at I've accepted and allowed myself to thus only care for the convenient feeling, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not walk throu all inconvenience which I accepted mysef to accumulate because I allowedmyselfto be someone of fear, someone of ego and an abuser to control others. Within this I commit myself to let go of the point from here on, to stop trying to protect this point within trying to prove this as a point of self forgiveness for others to appreciate me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the point of expecting appreciation within my process,

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to generate all of the feelings of guilt, humiliation, from everything I've accepted and allowed as this, to protect the point of wanting to be appreciated for what I do.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that doing what's best for all life has nothing to do with the emotions, has nothing to do with grabbing attention, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to verify this point of getting attention through having done the past acts of controlling and trying to decieve others wi knowledge, with exploiting myself as superior.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsibility when I in fact face the point of fear within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think thT when I see a destonian agree with knowledge I've stated, that I can further accumulate the intent of myself, or when I find just anyone reacting to what I've exploited myself as, whether effected or not, that I can continue this act of controlling others with the point of using knowledge as if its a point I've fully walked through.

I commit myself to slow myself down, slow my mind down, and go on a walk to further direct this point to a well extent of utilization and stability within myself t assure I am facing the point head on, and as myself.

Part two coming soon with further sf/SCS.



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Nicklk1795
Posts: 252
Joined: 19 Mar 2013, 00:06

Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Nicklk1795 » 18 Nov 2013, 11:46

http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... ation.html

Day 78 - approaching my participation within relationships - fear of losing stability (current moment of anxiety) part 2
A currently I have had a pretty hard hitting experience within my mind.

Ski was at work, and then everything was cool, came home, and had seen a familiar truck outside, and realized that it was the people who used to live here. I then just walked in, and said hi to the people, and then walked in, and settled in.

Now to of gointo detail to lay out certain emotions and only accumulating the point, I will basically say that I had a huge transition from stability to this point of fear, anxiety, and al sorts of emotions within myself, due to the situation with the people who are here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myselfto fear being abusive, or being abused to the point of allowing the impulse create me as a abusive, from the memories of when I was accepting and allowing myself to be abusive from the impulse I interconnected within the coexistence of these people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the expectation when coming up to the point of anxiety and fear around the other person, and in relationship to who I used to accept and allow myself as.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow these memories get me to this intense point of second guessing myself, and going into this state of emotional instability and this evaporation of what's here within my co existence.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created the expectation of having to be nice, of having to be supportive and welcoming, in fear of going back to the abuse that I've caused in the past, and this within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to approach this blog as protecting myself from the people, and not bringing it back t self, here. Thus, I commit myself to slow down, breath, and take a few drags of my ciggerette, breath, look,p and see what's here, and come back to the writing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear having the level of integrity within the current reaction I'm experiencing now.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have related feelings and this position of Nd within myself as integrity, as a superior attribute than others. Tus within is I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to protect myself within integrity, as to dominate the other people under the reactin of abuse in the relationship of the people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to dictate myself with emotions, and go into the point of rush when I find a point/thisi current moment of anxiety, and go into the points of protecting a superior position through victimizing myself within the reaction, the fear Im currently experiencing within anxiety.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create blame towards the other person from the fear from the reactin of what I've accepted and allowed myself to experience with the people. Within this point I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not breath here, being it back to self, and change the point, change t relationship thT I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate within my life, thus within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in order to in fact and practically prevent abuse towards another, and towards myself,is to write myself out, to follow physical participation, to walkthroughthe point of fear fully, breath by breath, point by point, to firstly change myself, and then from this point, taking step by step practical direction within my environment, within my relationships.



I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created expectations towards past corrections to points, in fear of losing the care and integrity within what I live in and as that correction, and thus accumulating to this point of beng misdirected and accepting and allowing myself t be more submissive to when I face a reaction, when i Require breathing through a point, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dictated by fears and emotions within my stability when walking my process, as a point of fearing losing stability, and thus giving u when I find myself unstable, and find myself becoming unstable, and thus allowing myself to not will myself t walk through the point because of wanting to not protect a self interest point, which is surviving as stable.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not come back fully here, and enjoying sharing this point and opening up this point within myself, and focusing on writing here, writing this point for actually supporting myself, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow this point of accumulation for not breathing, and letting go of the points that I'm trying to figure out with my mind, and not coming back here, to practically changing the reaction, point by point, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear walking through the point of instability, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear taking self responsibility, a really pushing physically through points.

I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus define myself as lazyness, and to thus dictate myself with emotions from the very point, of not allowing mysef to practically walk through each emotion, but instead categorizing my emotions and what I require walking through, as this point of self victimization and not wanting to go into instability, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not be self honestly willing to walk throu the point of instability, and instead try to counter this fear with protecting a position of stability when correcting and walking

day to day, t not risk myself t dare to walk through every point, regardless f e responsibility
required,necessary.

When I see myself in and as relating myself to protecting a point of stability in relationship to anxiety, and thus currently to the people, I stop, I breath, and I continue untill I have let go of the point to apathetic extent of actually standing and changing the point of anxiety, of the reaction I face with the people, and when in relationship t my environment in general, and to general points of anxiety and moments of accepted and allowed instability.

When I see myself in and as trying to protect an expectation that I've accepted and allowed within myself, as to kee the comfortable feeling I've related to the point of stability. I stop, I breath, and I look and see where and what needs to change within the very moment of reaction, and frm this point d physical participation, or walk, or have. Ciggerette, and once I'm here, in fact walking through the point, step by step, breath by breath, letting go of the limitations, and pushing and walking through the point, regardless of the emotional experience, or the petty ego.

When I see myself n and as trying to protect this point of stability and responsibility in relationship to the people, and to my envirnement and points of anxiety. I stop, I breath. And I come back to here as self, stop the emotions, let go of the anxiety, and change the point practically p, point by point. Within this I commit mysef to bring every relationship within co existing to the people back to self, and to not give into the point of reactions, or accumulate tension unecessary from reactions.

When I see myself in and as trying to protect this point of the image of integrity, or accumulate myself to the point of having feared losing this image of stability, or this image of integrity, I stop, I breath, and I accept myself within what I've accepted and allowed within the past relationship to the people in terms of being patient, Nd going through each point, point by point, and stabilizing mysef here through thouruly participating directly with schedule, and writing this point out specifically in relationship with the people daily, to assure I am here, and come to a stable point of being Ble to mNge and take self responsibility within relationship to the people, Nd assure that I fully take self responsibility and fully take self account for the reactions that I accept and allow to accur and Ccumulate within myself.



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Nicklk1795
Posts: 252
Joined: 19 Mar 2013, 00:06

Re: Nicks self forgiveness

Postby Nicklk1795 » 18 Nov 2013, 12:05

http://mwtcwp.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... -even.html

My walk to consistency within process

Monday, November 18, 2013
Day 2 - feeling obligated to ego, even when I've in fact walked through a point and supported myself
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed mysef to walk through a point, and then when being completely aware, stable enough, and breathing well enough and knowing the direction once I have walked through an extent of a a point, I have this little side effect of second guessing myself, as if what I used t accept and allow should still be who I am, even though I am clearly standing within this point and continueing therefor, within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the expectation of my own ego, and thus within this dwell on past points, and not letting go of the point, of everything attached to that point,that I did walk through, that I did stand up in, and simply continueing n the next point within my existence, as fully here with that next point.

When find myself in the position of self judgement, of second guessing myself for the benifit of doubting myself to buy in t the point rather than being confident within that moment as taking n each breath, each st practically - I stop, I breath, and I see what's here, let go of the past, and breath through the experiences and reactions that require holding off momentarily, and working with what is next n daily participation/current schedule participation, and within this, letting go ofthe point through focusing on what's here as myself, equa to myself, and thus building that foundation of self trust, self commitment, and confident integrity as physical, as life participation.

Within this i commit myself thus breath through the points of possession, and follow the steps of hysical participatin, of labor, of walking, of lays down, breathing being here,untill I am here, stable as self, and then, continue with each point, point by point, ste by step. Fucking simple.
Posted by Nick Knight




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