http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... point.html
Day 84 - redefining starting point
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to apply my relationship to my process in regards to standing here as my process, as a point of having superiority over others, and as this way of being able to gain money out of my process for each point I apply and walk through.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not actually walk through points to fully eradicate the feelings within myself to stand as life completely within the point I'm confronting, but however allowing myself to judge myself and go into anxiety win the point.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that walking through a point practically is only available when I allow/have allowed myself to breath consistently, and thus that being the determination of how effective the point is practically eradicated.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I thus require physically moving myself within each participation I correct myself to do in order to actually commit myself to the point here, and thus within the statement of self correction, actually focusing on each aspect of that self correction, and then to live that correction to in fact commit myself to stand here as life, thus not a point of feeling.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not allow myself to breath and live those points here, because I'm deliberately holding back from fears I've related to the points I write out, and then not allowing myself to let go of those points in those moments where I can breath, simply because I am only wanting to verify the point of self protection and self interest within myself, and not actually physically push myself to change here within each point, within each moment of breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus define my relationship with my process, as if those point of say a physical appearance and my back making it unable for meto excersise currently and probably for months to come, and then a point of letting go of that relationship (this being a current point) and the survival within that fear relationship or the negative outcome it in my mind of how my body will turn out from not exercising, be this driving point of how I move myself within my process. Thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have exercised as this way to try to convey physical strength as my strength here as a being, and thus creating a false image of this physical appearance, as supposedly my stability and strength to walk my process.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate my current ego deceptive relationships with others, as acceptable to currently exist while walking my process, as posting on Facebook points I try to convey as "everyone wake up" as to create a point of controlling others from actually seeing myself, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of this idea as if I'm intellectual and need too resent myself as intellectual in order for others to support me. Thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a void from building self support, and thus not wanting to in fact put in the effort to be the one to change what I see as unsupportive in my environment to a point of where there is gradual support.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate the points of self interests as not wanting to give them up for walking my process, and then trying to control and exploit others for a way for myself to try to have others sort of be supportive for me, and where I don't have to give up what I've accepted and allowed o be supportive.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus fear not having a person to ever be there to support me enough where I would be comfortable to give up these points of self interest, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the courage to stand up in most cases when I face points that society currently doesn't and wouldn't support, but instead banish a person from if in such positions I fear being in.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have the starting point of gaining something out of doing self forgiveness, frm the perspective of being able to protect myself frm that point of fear happening, and then relating that protection point to my self forgiveness, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to becme indecisive and inconsistent and not willing, simply when I find that I have to let go of the fear factor of the self interest point, and then suppressing with isolation within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then feel obligated to write, as if I don't write, then I will receive the losing punishment end within the dimensions of my points.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself thus self sabotage myself under the points, and then start writing as to make up for the points, like paying back some mind mob, as to protect myself within the system to survive, instead of walking through the points here as living breath, and thus trusting myself as that breath and as that point of direction as life, without relating to the mind and this survival point.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus try to impress other members of desteni within my writings, as to protect myself from non destonians, or as this way to keep safe from my consequences as a system, and as if being in desteni just automatically protects my from my on accepted and allowed system as myself. Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to just go into this process for so many months, and then relating stories of others going to he farm, as if 'hopefully that'll be me' and like winning to survive and not fall within a non supportive environment and the aspects I see as unsupportive here.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create this within my mind from the perspective that I won't have to face the point of fearing the conseunces of certain points, as if I would get a soothing point of help frm another for current points as to getting like thrown in a prison or generally being banned for not meeting standards of current society, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to to give myself breath completely here to stand within points within myself alone, and to completely stand as here within mysef to walk through the point as self responsible.
Part 2 with further self forgiveness
http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2013/11/day- ... art-2.html
Day 85 - redefining starting point - part 2 self corrective statements
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect reactions to have to be within myself in order to write myself out.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus write from the perspective that I require a point of mind energy in order to write myself out.
When and as I see myself creating the point of trying to gain a point of superiority over another within my process, as if I will 'get away' with points that I allow myself to hold back from, and within this try to protect myself with this position of making money off of riding ego and self limitations, then I breath within the point, I stand one and equal with the point as the point here, and let go of the need to defeat another or somehow protect myself from others judging myself within standing one and equal, and simply walk through the point here and practically change myself only as myself to really and in fact build self trust, and thus within this I commit myself to always bring it back to the starting point of firstly building self trust for myself, and not as a scapegoat for tryi to protect myself from the fear that others in my mind won't trust me if I 'don't do it', and then reacting in trying to gain something within the system, within my system.
When and as I see myself trying to push through a point as to 'having to eradicate' the point, and not slowly taking it ste by step to stand one and equal as myself to walk throu the point with stability and practical application, I stop, I stop trying to jump from multiple dimensions in my mind as a way to rush as this protective mode, and I simply breath back to standing one and equal within myself, and I start with one point at a time, as it is, and fully embracing myself here, and not as a personality protective system that I rush in my mind with.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define standing one and equal as this rushing manifested vocabulary of 'eradicating' as the result of trying to just 'get rid of myself quickly' instead of having calmed myself within and as breath to walk through the point as myself at the moment, but instead as the accumulative reactions I accepted and allowed myself to build up. Within this, when and as I see myself being determined by the reactions, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the points through self forgiveness, and thus I thin this, I commit myself to focus on the point of creating voids through entertaining myself with world catastrophes on YouTube and watching conspiracies within my next blog as a point to utilize my relationship to instability occurring outside of myself, and how I reflect myself to the outside.
When and as I see myself not stable within myself, or inconsistent within breath, I practically come back to standing one and equal as myself here within what's here, and I let to of trying to validate reactions that come up within consistent breathing, and within this allowing myself to focus on points I'm walking through currently, in order to thus give myself a redefined starting point of patients, within actually accepting myself as life here, and not as a mind rush of fear and protection and survival within myself.
When and as I see myself trying to live off of feeling, and experience myself off of a feeling within my mind, I stop, I breath, and I go back to commitment statements, Nd living these current statements to direct myself off of an extent of principle within myself, to direct myself here as physical, and thus within this, I commit myself to always read current blogs in the mornings, and before I do writings or maybe if I need to check myself here as equal to myself, and thus within this giving myself clear direction out of the mind to what ever extent within myself, and actually changing myself fully as myself, and not as some verifying mind control, as an ego.
When and as I see myself trying to verify a point of conflict and war within myself, as if I just want this battle of the other party in my mind to exist to keep the point of fear to circulate in my mind, I sop, I breath, and within this, I come back to self, realizing that being here as myself is only and will only every be the most practical step to in fact having a point of self trust, and not as this form of gaining self trust from this government mini system in my mind, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only time I feel threatened from even something outside of mysef that has such intentions, is when I make that as myself, and that I accepted and allow myself to participate within that intent because of not allowing myself to breath here as one and equal with firstly myself here alone, and that the only way these points of outside influences that I've created I be an influence will change, is by first changing myself as a self trusting being, and thus in fact be able to walk through reactions of being in the case of an outside accepted and allowed influence. Thus within this, I commit myself to as well cross reference with current writings, as a way to beng myself back here to self focus, and self changing, and his within this realizing that this physical self only will change if ere is allowed trust between myself and my physical body.
I realize that trying to convey a physical image, and that trying to represent a physical strength, is my accepted and allowed inadequacy of being able to self trust myself as physical expression, and thus within this, when and as I see myself trying to convey a physical appearance of something higher than the very immediate expression it functions as, I stop, I breath, and within this I let go of the outside force within my mind as if there is an expectancy within my expression towards my process, or towards whatever it is outside of my process. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of past memories that I've related towards this protection point within my process. Within this, I commit myself to apply myself with these corrections of coming back to self trust, and walking each point within the redefined starting point of trusting/knowing thyself, and within this directing myself as me within thus patients with each point, and not trying to protect an abstract position outside of my physical self.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that going and posting things on Facebook, or having this condescending behavior within knowledge as if to blame others for the support I 'feel' lacking towards myself, is only a void of accepting and allowing myself to trust myself here, and trusting myself to breath, trusting myself to be alone with myself, and thus within this, when and as I see myself trying to depend on another for there to be self support within myself, I stop, I breath, I practically let to of the participation through bringing it back to self, and in some cases applying self forgiveness t bring it back to self within the context of having allowed this dependency to accumulate. Within this, I commit myself to redefine my relationship to trusting others, as first coming to trust myself as life, and thus within this building a consistent and practical understanding of what it means to trust myself here as life, before ever considering helping another in terms of in fact supporting another life, when I require first building the application for myself as life alone one and equal as myself.
When and as I see myself trying to verify the want of another to support something within myself for me, and thus create a void of allowing myself to be supportive firstly for myself, and trying to verify the accumulation of having made another in my mind as having to see them be there, instead of allowing myself to bring it back to self accountability completely as self here, I stop, I breath, I let go of the words stated, let go of the points I accumulated, and firstly bring it back to a point of self trust, and within this coming back to in fact supporting myself within my points, and bring it back to walking patiently as self, calmly, and thus not rushing for a quick fix as allowing the result of fear of loss be the point of direction within myself, but however allowing mysef to come back to already being here with what I need to walk myself here alone, and thus not continue the point of dependency.
When and as I see myself allowing the fear construct of the existence within a reaction depict who I am, instead of trusting myself here within and as breath within each point step by step to where I create this want o have someone protect my from the outside force I've created from the reaction point, I stop e reaction firstly, and within this breathing, and coming back to self completely here win self trust as self first, and letting go of the reaction, letting go of the dependency, and within this giving myself the courage to in fact walk through each point with patients by giving myself that oppurtunity to trust myself within and as breath here, and earthing myself back here as practically living here as life, and standing ne and equal as myself here to walk through the points as self trustworthy here
When and as I see myself suppressing myself from a point within myself, I practically let to of thT point within consistent breathing here, and stop trying to validate the 'need' to be dependent on suppression and that construct I've accepted and allowed within myself, and instead breathing back here as self responsible, and thus self trust worthy that I will take responsibility for what's here as me, and thus in fact build a point of practical self trust from allowing myself to work with each point within trusting myself here as breath, and not as suppressing reactions.
When and as I see myself then creating this experience within myself as if I'm obligated to write out myself, or else, then I practically breath back to the redefined point of breathing as self trust, and I then take on the points as what I require doing from what's here, what is apart of schedule, what am I doing and should direct practically now, and within this, I commit myself to thus allow myself to redefine writing as writing self honestly from a starting point of self trust, and not as a point of having t get this school assignment done, or this 'job' done or else I won't get money from the job, and thus earthing myself here, and standing me and equal as myself here as each point for the point of building practical self trust within myself as life, And not as this consumer within my fears, but directing the fears as self, as breath here.
Wen and as I see myself self sabotaging myself under points as a result of trying to survive within the points and keep myself under the force and tension, I stop, I let go of the rushing reaction of having to figure out everything as to protect myself and thus within this, I commit myself to redefine being here with myself, as only when I allow myself to breath here as who I am as life, and that losing myself is only when I allow myself to not allow that trust to remain here as breath, and trusting that breath to direct myself back with each point no matter what circumstance I place within my mind from a reaction.
When and as I see myself trying to rush myself within a point of reaction, and then using the desteni members who have been experienced and live as an example of what I've accepted and allowed myself to be a void frm living within myself, and then using them as this driving point to write, or as this way to push myself to write, instead of simply living here as myself writing, I stop within the point of writing, and I breath, and within this earthing MySELF to being trustworthy. Thus it him this, I commit myself to redefine myself under my writings as a point of writing myself here as breath, as self supportive, and not as a energy void of having this idea of who I should be, and instead allowing me to be the directive principle as breath here within my words self honestly as me.
I commit myself to redefine my stance here, as exactly that, here as practical living breathing, and thus within this living as life within walking through each point self honestly here as myself, and not as this void of protecting myself within my own mind points, but instead practically taking on each point here self honestly as myself as breath, and within this building self responsibility, and building self trust, through actually allowing myself to build this point here as myself.p, as life, one and equal here. Within this, I commit myself to stop defining myself as words in my mind from points of reactions, but trust the breath, trust the physical, and within this allowing the physical to be my guideline to actually living vocabulary and words, and living principle, and thus within this, in fact building self trust, by living it primarily, and not by thinking before the breath, but breathing before I apply myself, and as I apply myself.