http://nicklk.blogspot.com/2014/09/day- ... ctate.html
Day 122 - allowing emotions to dictate who I am/following the emotions
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become emotional/react, and then follow the experience within the context of fearing my own emotions, thoughts, triggers. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to cross reference past consequences in which I had became possessed and followed it. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down, and breath, and step back/let go of the emotions, or take any directive move within my beingness to STOP the participation of such emotions and thoughts.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become scared of my own thoughts and emotions, under the preconception that the thoughts and emotions are going to manifest, thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imply to myself that I'm separate from my own accepted and allowed thoughts and emotions, and thus becoming scared as if the thoughts and emotions have a separate life force, not seeing and realizing that I am the one who accepts and allows thoughts and emotions when under such experiences.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become unstable when faced with the negative polarity, to the extent of claiming that I have no willpower to STOP myself, breath, and release the points through self responsibility, self honesty, self forgiveness. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not work on a point of self confidence and strength/writing self forgiveness when in stable moments during my day to day living. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to cross reference with emotions and unstable thinking when faced with the negative polarity.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my own acceptances and allowances when faced with the reality of my own thoughts and emotions.
When and as I see myself experiencing emotions and thoughts that become visible, I stop, I do not follow the experience or further allow it, and I breath, I let go of the pattern, and then I take self responsibility through self forgiveness, and self correction. Within this, I see and realize that I am capable of not becoming possessed by my accepted and allowed thoughts or emotions, and can always come back to breath, and understanding that thoughts and emotions will occur, but can always be directed by my beingness, within this also realizing that I require spending as much of my time with physical things, with responsibility to my immediate environment in order to be more effective when facing thoughts and emotions.
I see and realize that I have created and accepted and allowed my own thoughts and emotions, and the chemistry between myself and my outside reality. Within this, when and as I see myself fearing this, or going into wanting to suppress these accepted and allowed relationships, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the fear through self forgiveness and self corrective statements, through doing something physical, to where I can manage myself to where I'm self responsible and equally functional when walking through the experience of what I've accepted and allowed as myself - embrace myself and not run away.
I commit myself to become more attentive to writing, to working with the physical, in order to build that foundation of self honesty, self confidence, and self responsibility, and to use this as a cross reference for stability. Within this, when and as I see myself becoming unstable, I stop, I brea, I slow down, and I go and act on that which assists and supports me, as well as finding what's most helpful in certain circumstances or when facing particular points within myself. Within this, I commit myself to keep myself physically busy throughout each day to support myself to writing more clearly and effectively, and facing my points more clearly and effectively.
I see and realize that I cannot blame others for my own experiences, and that this is but a suppression that compensates within not being willing to actually face myself self honestly as what I experience as thoughts feelings and emotions. Within this, I commit myself to practically remain introspective, understanding that blaming in itself is a Paton that requires work, and so being self aware to let go of blame when facing myself and what I experience.