Courage.
It is often seen or defined as the absence of fear or resistances. But in reality, I would say that courage is more about who you are, and how you direct yourself especially while fear and resistance is still within you.
I will open this up within and as the self-forgiveness to follow.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from courage because I have come to believe that courage is something that is outside of me, that I must reach for, that I must work toward, that looks and feels a certain way – and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to live the awareness and understanding until now that courage is not about removing fear or becoming more than fear – because that is still just a game of polarity – of wanting to be ‘more than’ something in order to feel secure and strong – and so this is not a real transcendence of fear, but a suppression in another form.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the pattern of wanting to wait until I feel confident enough to live a point of courage – within this not seeing until now that courage means you move and direct yourself even while you still have fears and anxieties – because the fears and anxieties are not evil, are not separate – they are a part of who we have accepted and allowed within ourselves, and they exist because a part of ourselves has identified ourselves with it. Therefore, courage is not about eliminating or suppressing the fear. Courage is to stand in the face of what we fear most and embrace it so that we stop making the fear something scary, something outside, something clawing to get to us while we are the ones constantly pushing it away – even though we are the ones creating it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge fear and want to suppress fear or want to become superior to fear in order to not face fear – and within all of this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disempower myself in relation to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from courage within believing that if there is something that I fear, then it means I am not ready or able to handle it or address it or direct it, and therefore would wait and let things ‘happen’ and escalate to greater points of consequence for myself and others and out of that greater consequence, only then do I trust myself and move but with a starting point of consequence rather than self-direction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from courage within projecting and anticipating a fear so much that I believe it is already here, already real, and within this to not live courage in a way where I remain here, stable, and trust myself to act accordingly without projecting my fears onto others in my life – because I see, realize, and understand that when I try to prevent something or deal with something that I fear from a starting point of wanting to not face it – I actually end up creating it more and creating a greater consequence due to who I allowed myself to be in relation to the fear.
Therefore, I commit myself to stand within and as courage in the following ways.
I commit myself to stand within and as courage in relation to things that I fear and resist to look at and be self-honest about by breathing, grounding myself, and trusting that no matter what I have the tool of self-forgiveness to release myself of any experiences of guilt, remorse, regret, or self-blame, and that any fear or resistance I experience now does not define me, and therefore I can move myself even within a point of fear to a point of self-stability.
I commit myself to stand within and as courage in relation to fearing having to do or face something that I, within self-honesty, see that I must do/face. In these moments I move myself within the point of self-honesty because I see, realize, and understand that self-honesty will always come through whether or not I fear it or try to suppress it, and if I do try to suppress it the consequences only become greater due to who I allowed myself to be in relation to self-honesty – where I tried to make untrue what was true, and tried to represent things in ways that serve my self-interest instead of what is best for all, and that is not a position that I would like myself or anyone to be in.
I commit myself to stand within and as courage in relation to trying to prevent or ‘anticipate’ fear where I want to try and already prepare for the experience of something that I fear happening and will want to either push it forward so that I can ‘get it over with faster’, or want start changing my behavior and projecting onto other people what I fear will happen as though it is already here by slowing down, supporting myself with writing and self-forgiveness, and standing within and as courage by working with what is actually, practically here in each moment instead of what I project in my mind – because I see, realize, and understand that when I try to push a point of fear in order to get it over with, or when I try start to project a fear onto other people as though it is real, I diminish myself and my self-trust because I am actually making the statement that “This fear is more real than me and my ability to stand as courage”.
Self Forgiveness and Courage
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