Ahhh! (slaping self in the forhead) Yes, i should have seen that from the start. i forgive my self for getng stuck in a polarity. patriotism-antipatritism twosides of the same coin.
For me, having been SO against the system it was also quite the DUH! moment when it was pointed out to me how it is in fact two sides of same coin. So the point is simplistically to not judge oneself based on the idea that "I should have known". I mean that's also what we're here for. If we knew everything already, we would not be here.
i suppose i have been venting a little in the forum. i have felt like i am under attac from every direction. i am starting to lose faith in humanity. even to the point of rooting for its extinction. i forgive my self that withn that i have seperated my self from a part of my self their by becoming part of the problem.
Here I suggest having a look at the dichotomies/polarities between "hope" and "hopelessness" or "faith in humanity" and "doomsday" as another two sides of a coin as positive and negatively charged emotions/out looks. Why even have faith in humanity, for example? What does that indicate? Is one then waiting for 'something' or 'someone' to come and sort it all out? And is the 'losing' faith maybe then the realization that there is no 'hope' to begin with.. because hope indicates waiting for something/someone else, whereas what is required is self-directed action which is what we're busy walking in this process. So such questions you could ask yourself. And I definitely suggest writing this point out of the experiences of 'losing faith in humanity' and what that might indicate.
for many things it is easy for me to not react and just see it for the sickness that it is. but some things just hit to close to home, for example the sevear mental and even some physical abuse i am seeing my son go threw for years an there is nothing i can do to stop it. i have been useing the leagal system to the fullest and so far had no luck.
Yes that is the real brutal reality we live in where there is no hope, which is exactly what you describe seeing first hand. However it is not necessary -- or even helpful to the situation -- that we react and become apathetic and start blaming the system. If we through our anger can stand up and make a decision to become a living example, then cool. But if we're just digging ourselves further into a feeling of despair and desperation it is useless towards the point of actually changing the situation on earth. So therefore it is suggested to write it out -- allow yourself to write out all these worries and anger and frustration. (Though perhaps do it first for yourself and then share the realizations you come to through the writing). And then we can start participating in in fact changing the fucked up situation on this earth, with whatever means we have available where we are. Some of us are taking specific educations for example to be able to place ourselves in the system. Another point is daily participation on the internet to spread the message of common sense and be available to support those who are ready. And as such we need not despair or faith in humanity. It is simply a matter of 'moving the stones of the path', point by point by point. Obviously we can't sort the entire mess we're in as humanity out through looking at the situation in our heads, so we gotta get practical and focus on what is here: changing ourselves first and foremost. That is the starting-point. We gotta start with ourselves.
So I suggest to start writing John, and simultaneously allow yourself to let go of AND take responsibility for the experiences you have within you and that which you experience as a burden in your daily life. Apply self-forgiveness, forgive yourself and forgive the world as yourself and utilize that letting go to make a commitment to do things differently.
I recommend the following application of Embracing Self