Josephs writings(dreams)

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Joseph Stein
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Joined: 16 Sep 2011, 08:41

Josephs writings(dreams)

Postby Joseph Stein » 15 May 2017, 21:54

Day 8
I am making my post here for my day 8 of the 21 day challenge because it has to do with dreams. Garb mentioned that I should post the dream here and walk through it. I honestly dont know what the dream means but 2 main things stand out. My obsession and constant thinking about this girl I met at subway and that I still have a point in me that wants to smoke weed but let me write out the dream and go from there.

Hey everyone, today I am going to write about these intense dreams I have been having ever since I have started this 21 day challenge to quit smoking weed. So last night I dreamt that I met this girl that I liked. She was cool lol thats all i remember about her. Then I met her friend that reminded me of this girl I met at subway in real life. I am sure it was supposed to be her. She needed a place to stay and moved in with her friend which is the first girl I mentioned, that one that I thought was cool. Now I found myself walking with my brother by our house and for some reason these girls invited us in their house. It was like 4 or 3 girls. We were all sitting at the dinning table and the one girl that was sitting next to me who was very much like the girl at subway asked me to cut her hair. I did the first cut and she was happy. I did the second cut and she got mad/unhappy. Then I find myself somewhere else and I was being passed a bowl of weed to smoke. I dont know who was passed it to me but I smoked it. I woke up and I was pissed because I really thought I smoked weed. I was thinking how I have to start over with my 21 day challenge and how Id have to wait more time to be clean and how I ruined my chances because now I have to wait more time. It took me a couple minutes to realize that it was a dream. So I went back to bed. I started dreaming again and I found myself wondering what happened to the first 2 girls. I wanted to know more about what happened to the girl that moved in with her friend. It felt like I was searching and rattling my mind about this. I got to their house and I asked the girl that I thought was cool "what happened to your friend?" I dont think I got a response or I just cant remember but anyways I woke up and it felt like Ive been through a couple days in 1 night. It all felt so intense and real. Like I can feel it in my body and my head like I am overwhelmed and didnt sleep that well.

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Joseph Stein
Posts: 98
Joined: 16 Sep 2011, 08:41

Re: Josephs writings(dreams)

Postby Joseph Stein » 17 May 2017, 03:13

Day 9
So today I will be doing the Self-Forgiveness and walking through my dream last night. The two main points is that a part of me still desires to smoke weed or to get high and escape facing myself and this life I have created for myself. Secondly, with the subway girl is that I still seek a desire to be loved and fulfilled and a relationship with sex. I seek these things outside of myself and separate to myself. Ive done Self-Forgiveness on both points but I still have moments of suppression where the reaction would come up and I would turn a blind eye so to speak. So I am grateful for this dream and its intensity as the way I used it to assist and support myself has enabled me to see the little moments that get the best of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for turning a blind eye when and as I experience a desire to escape reality and not face the life I have created for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not standing as much as the reactions come up.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for letting my thought/feelings/emotions/desires get the best of me where I suppress them and bury them inside of myself so I can forget that they ever came up.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek out a relationship for sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek out a relationship to feel loved and fulfilled.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeding and following these desires to be loved and fulfilled and the desire for sex by participating in thoughts/feelings/emotions of me not being enough for myself and me not being able to give myself love and fulfillment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how much fun I would have if I were in a relationship.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about and picture in my head how great I would experience myself if I were in a relationship.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my current self to a self that is in a relationship thus placing myself immediately in an inferior position and a position where I am controlled by fear.

I commit myself to when and as I compare my current self to a self that is in a relationship by participating in desires of sex, being loved by another and being fulfilled with another person, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am separating myself and that I am the one to give myself these gifts and that no matter how hard I try to seek or how hard I desire these things outside of myself that I will always fail because I am the only one who can give and take these away from myself.

I commit myself to not bury and suppress my desires to escape my reality and not face the life I have created for myself by standing up and applying breathe for EACH and EVERY reaction/thought/feeling/emotion/desire I have so that I leave no loose ends that still exist inside of myself.

Marlen
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
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Re: Josephs writings(dreams)

Postby Marlen » 18 May 2017, 17:43

Cool for opening this up Joseph, I've found how we usually turn to that kind of fantasies or outcomes as a way to escape as you say your reality/your current creation, so as an added point to this can also investigate what are the actual 'negative' experiences that you've attached to your day to day living experiences where you might go building up this desire to have a positive experience to 'counteract' the actual negative experience you're having in other areas of your life. That might also assist with seeing how those things you are desiring may simply be a comfort zone as an 'ideal' right now in order to avoid facing the points where you can actually create a change in how you live/experience yourself in your current life.

So, you can approach it from this perspective and see what opens up


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