valentin and hilda learning to get along

Maya
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Re: valentin and hilda learning to get along

Postby Maya » 20 Jan 2012, 16:30

Cool support here! thank you all.
Hilda and Valentin, I also suggest to apply Self Corrective statements, to prepare the way before you when communicating in the future.
Another point to look at is the competitions you guys are carrying for a long time now and within that, compromising not only yourself, but the entire group.
Thanks



Marlen
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Re: valentin and hilda learning to get along

Postby Marlen » 20 Jan 2012, 18:24


Starting point for writing to Valentin: not wanting Desteni to appear as an organization of ultra superior people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about what other people perceive and think about Desteni and Destonians.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be associated with Desteni and defined as a Destonian.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that a Destonian is better than other people because of taking responsibility to fix oneself and the world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I am better than other people because I am taking responsibility to fix myself and the world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to other people because I am walking the process of realization.
Okay cool for taking point by point, I'll add some suggestions to look at it from another perspective:
not wanting Desteni to appear as an organization of ultra superior people

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see where and how I have embodied a personality created for the purpose to come through as 'superior' toward others in this reality.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to exist as an idea of myself being 'superior' to others wherein I am projecting myself on to another as judging what they are apparently doing, instead of realizing and seeing how I am actually playing out this point myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project judgment on to others, as talking about others without realizing that I am in fact being bothered by a point that is existent within me

I allow myself to see where and how I have created such definition of myself as 'superior' and how I have projected it on to others.

This point is certainly something that we've all walked in terms of separating people according to 'process' or 'how much they understand of reality' and it is only through writing the point out and applying Self Forgiveness that we can realize how if we stop existing within/ as such point, we stop the same polarities existing as judgments projected on to others, because we'll realize that it is about Self-realizing the points = taking it back to self at all times.

Hilda Rac

Backchat: he's trying to be superior to me by appearing more knowledgeable and informed. Here there is personal guilt for not being as informed as him about the things that are going on on the political scene.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel/experience guilt for not being informed and educated about current politics.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive politics as tedious and boring.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous and frustrated, whenever there is talk of politics, because I know that things could be so much simpler.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated by the political state of this world and hide behind that frustration in order to not have to deal with politics and apply myself within it, because I perceive myself as too small and not educated enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel intimidated by the immensity of work that has to be done in order to become political.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must have a university degree to become involved with politics.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of having to get a university degree in order to participate within politics.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel intimidated by studying and getting a university degree.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define myself as unable to concentrate and study to get a university degree.
Here I suggest seeing how the point was a reaction toward 'not knowing/ being knowledgeable' on that point, which I suggest taking it at an elemental level which is using knowledge and information to come-through as 'superior,' which is something that - if we react to/ get vexed by it - we take it back to self and see where and how we've used knowledge and information to create a stand-point when deliberately wanting to oppose and impose ourselves on to another -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever use knowledge and information as a way to uplift myself and place myself as superior when discussing/ talking with another just so that I could keep-up with the image and idea I've created of myself as knowledgeable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use knowledge as a way to not face the actual point that is here to face and in that, placing another in a situation of apparent 'conflict' in which I am deliberately wanting them to be 'inferior'/ in fear of not knowing what to answer, how to continue a conversation, without realizing that I simply have to stop participating in such back-and forth conversations that don't have a clear starting point of being here one and equal sharing and communicating within the starting point of what's best for all - hence I stop myself from participating in thinking that 'I must know' instead of seeing that there is no common sense in perpetuating a conversation based on knowledge and information from the starting point of creating rivalry and competition of egos.


Backchat: oh my god, it's so frustrating, when people won't cooperate

My wish to speed things up all around me with everyone is quite prominent here. I've lived in a hectic mode all my life, I'm always in a hurry, I can't even walk slowly. Recently I've been slowing down while walking and feeling how my muscles and bones function, without rushing towards my destination.
Since my teens I've been living the lifestyle of always being late within the system. Always procrastinating till the last moment, and then doing my assignment in a hurry. I was procrastinating, because I noticed early on that kids from dysfunctional families get some slack in the system, so I played that role with adults, but I was concealing it from my peers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and procrastinate in terms of (school)work, because I had given into and started defining myself as being from a dysfunctional family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and embarrassed in front of my peers of coming from a dysfunctional family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and embarrassed for my parents' drinking and drama in front of my parents' peers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a member of a dysfunctional family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my family as dysfunctional, instead of realizing that all families have problems, because everybody has problems.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define my family as special and more intelligent than other families.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/need/desire to be proud of my family/parents like other children were.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to other children/people for being unable to be proud of my family due to perceiving it as dysfunctional.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other children in terms of whose parents are better.

But we never argued whose parents are prettier, because we didn't see that as children. lol

this is how far I got, work in progress
Okay, that deviated into something that is not precisely ON the point we're taking on here which is focusing on the conversation and seeing what was actually being experienced within each one in such moment - Thus Hilda, I suggest you take on this point that I've quoted above as part of your personal process and continue taking on the points that are specifically related to the conversation.

I take on one point here:

Backchat: oh my god, it's so frustrating, when people won't cooperate.

My wish to speed things up all around me with everyone is quite prominent here


This is a tendency that we as human beings have when only looking outside of ourselves and wanting others to change instead of us first looking back at ourselves, at our starting point of every single participation, every single move we take. I was walking yesterday and realized how I cannot fathom how I have been able to judge anything or anyone about points that I haven't yet corrected MYSELF about, it is ludicrous yet we've become this and this has been part of an ongoing process here of realizing: I have to focus on myself, I have to become that point that stops myself from being annoyed by the world, I become the point that stops perpetuating everything that I have projected on to others as being lousy, annoying, irritating outside of myself and stop myself from existing as the very creator of such experiences myself.

There is a very easy guideline within this: we react to what is existent within us, that's how this process works: we face each other as mirrors wherein if we react, we know then that there is work to be done within ourselves, not trying to change or project it onto another and turning it all into a great ego-antagonism - I mean, it's fairly simple to see that antagonizing/ opposing/ judging and creating any form or rivalry and competition can only exist if We exist as the ego of mind - otherwise we simply allow the person to see the points for themselves as each one has the tools and the basic principles to see how it is not about projecting our own fears, blames, judgments onto others but become the point that stops for once and for all.

Therefore, I suggest that we keep walking this point, focusing on what is the backchat on what's being said, that's a cool method and opening up the point related to what was Actually experienced in that moment - not going into family or memories of the past, that each one can taken on in your pertinent threads because if it comes out = cool, work and walk it as part of your process. Though for now, it is about this exchange to see 'who I was' in that moment of participating in such conversation.

Thanks for sharing.



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Anna
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Re: valentin and hilda learning to get along

Postby Anna » 20 Jan 2012, 18:33

Awesome Support Marlen - Thanks!
Therefore, I suggest that we keep walking this point, focusing on what is the backchat on what's being said, that's a cool method and opening up the point related to what was Actually experienced in that moment - not going into family or memories of the past, that each one can taken on in your pertinent threads because if it comes out = cool, work and walk it as part of your process. Though for now, it is about this exchange to see 'who I was' in that moment of participating in such conversation.
YES!



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hilda rac
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Re: valentin and hilda learning to get along

Postby hilda rac » 21 Jan 2012, 00:10

Thanks, Marlen, will go through everything.

Recent development:

Hilda Rac
viewtopic.php?f=60&t=2475&p=11843#p11843 zadnji post

7 hours agoValentin Rozman
Cool Hilda! Self-forgiveness is great. What about self-corrective application?

7 hours agoHilda Rac
which would be what in this case?

7 hours agoValentin Rozman
Self-forgiveness is just the first step in taking self-responsibility for participating in the mind. Then you have to write what will you do next time in the same or similar situation in order not to repeat the previous pattern of separation.
And the final step is of course observing yourself how you respond in the future when being in similar situation and checking if you are clear which indicates that correction was effective.

7 hours agoHilda Rac
ans when are you going to share some of your self-forgiveness'

7 hours agoValentin Rozman
Follow my blogs. We are only required to share four blog post per month with others. The rest of self-correction can be done in handwriting or in form of speaking out loud.
Remember, we walk the process for ourselves, not for others, thus the only thing that counts is how one actually changed within, regardless of the quantity of writing shared with others.

7 hours agoHilda Rac
I see that as quite selfish, because sharing is caring

7 hours agoValentin Rozman
I suggest to cross-reference that statement and see if comes from the starting point of self-honesty.
Observe if you have any good feeling or being proud when sharing self-forgivness.

7 hours agoHilda Rac
I'm going to Celje now. You're not communicating with me, you're teaching me stuff, you're not interested in cooperating and I don't have time for this

7 hours agoValentin Rozman
Understand that sharing is supportive for others, but it is up to everyone to decide how much time it can afford to write in a way that can be shared with others.
gtg, bye



Marlen
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Re: valentin and hilda learning to get along

Postby Marlen » 21 Jan 2012, 18:36

I suggest that each one focuses on doing your part as you've done at the moment, Hilda - this is about Self Responsibility.

We have suggested that both take self responsibility for your words - therefore, if you're already doing this, then simply continue doing so = focus on yours, otherwise it becomes yet another reason to point out in others what we haven't walked ourselves yet.

Justifications are not acceptable - yet this is about each one realizing this and deciding how to walk this process: actually sharing and walking the talk or not. In the end what matters is the actual living correction of this point, hence we can only see in time if Self Forgiveness is actually lived.



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Anna
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Re: valentin and hilda learning to get along

Postby Anna » 21 Jan 2012, 19:36

I suggest that each one focuses on doing your part as you've done at the moment, Hilda - this is about Self Responsibility.

We have suggested that both take self responsibility for your words - therefore, if you're already doing this, then simply continue doing so = focus on yours, otherwise it becomes yet another reason to point out in others what we haven't walked ourselves yet.

Justifications are not acceptable - yet this is about each one realizing this and deciding how to walk this process: actually sharing and walking the talk or not. In the end what matters is the actual living correction of this point, hence we can only see in time if Self Forgiveness is actually lived.
Yes - and one can also consider "who" am I in this interaction. There can even be a point of being addicted to the energy generated through the conflict within self, that is not about anything else but generating energy to feed the mind. So yes - continue focusing on bringing all points back to self. That is the main point here.




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