Cameron's Journey to Life

[cameroncope]

Day 1: Self-Image and Fear of Inadequacy

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... quacy.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system that uses images within advertising and media to create a fear of being inadequate in human beings in order to have them desire solutions to their fear in the form of products that are offered as the solution to provide the consumer with the feeling or appearance of being adequate in comparison to the images used within the advertising and media.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system that not only use advertising and media to spread images designed to promote a fear of inadequacy based on a person not possessing the 'correct' outer image and appearance in an effort to sell products as solutions to the perceived inadequacy, but also to deliberately sell a product that does not and cannot actually serve as a real solution to the perceived inadequacy thus supporting the formation of the belief within the consumer that they are in fact inferior and 'beyond help' because the product or service offered as the solution did not actually assist the consumer to be adequate in comparison to the image presented as what is acceptable in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate as the consumer of media and advertising to believe that the image I see of a man or woman on a magazine is an ideal to strive for myself and that not only am I inferior to the image presented but that I am inferior as a human because my physical form does not look exactly like that presented on the magazine or media.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the system of deceptive marketing and advertising not only as the consumer but as the person who judges other people according to the images presented by the media.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in belief system that people who have a certain percentage of body fat - defined as 'high' - are worth less and are less capable of contributing to humanity and to reality than those who have 'low' percentages of body fat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look in the mirror and to compare the reflection that I see to the images of men that I have seen on body-building magazines and fitness magazines and to either judge myself as like those images or not like them and to then either feel good about myself and my capabilities if I fit the images I have seen in magazines or to otherwise feel worthless and inadequate if I do not fit the images that I have seen in the magazines.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that eating should be done in a way to shape my body image to that of what I have seen in the fitness magazines, and to thus ignore the fact that billions in this world go without proper food and water to just be able to survive in this reality and that for most in this world eating is not a game but rather a point of life or death, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the game of eating as a way to look and feel a certain way while ignoring the starvation and hunger of all those in this world who starve and suffer due to the abuses of the money system, of which fitness magazines, dieting, and the food industries, play a major role in contributing to the increasing financial inequality within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of myself for having ignored the suffering of all those who starve and go without proper food and nutrition and water while I have participated in the desire to look and feel a certain way through eating, and that I have used this shame as an excuse to not stop my participation within a system, using it as a false form of penance instead of standing up and participating in changing myself and this world to no longer allow the abuse of food through an unequal money system to allow others to starve and go without proper food and water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate as a partner in a relationship/agreement from the starting point of wanting to be with someone else who fits the image and likeness of the pictures of women and men I have seen in the media, magazines, fitness, bodybuilding, movies, porn, and all other forms of images and to participate in feelings of self-worth and self-acceptance and joy when the partner fits the image of the people I have seen presented as 'ideal looking' humans and to otherwise feel bad and feel like a loser when I am not in a relationship with a partner who fits the picture of the 'ideal looking person'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the picture of the 'ideal looking person' in all its variously presented forms are presented from within the starting point of attempting to create a fear or desire within the person viewing it to either want to be like the image or to find a partner who fits the image or to create a fantasy relationship in the mind towards the image - all of which require either more images or products to be created to satisfy the desire for the image or person who fits the image or to suppress the fear of not having/fitting the image or finding the person who fits the image to be in a relationship with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system where to survive, one must participate in creating and designing images to promote fear in other humans to never feel safe and secure within who they are and to thus feel and believe that they require something outside of themselves that they cannot produce themselves and must thus buy from someone else to feel safe and secure but that never actually makes them safe or secure or actually improves the lives any everyone around them including themselves so that they never cease to require new and more products that they must buy in order to ensure the survival of those who produce the products and design and promote the fears upon with the products are based.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inadequate and worthless and to thus look for ways to make myself feel adequate and of worth, and to thus participate in a game based on the experience of energy wherein I deny myself of worth in order to search for it and to experience the energy of 'satisfaction' and to thus not be here in reality but instead playing a game where only I exist and only my desires exist and to thus completely ignore the reality of all those who are suffering in this reality through the abuse of the economic system to create a small place in reality for me to play my energy game.

I commit myself to stop the energy game - to no longer place value on my individual experience of satisfaction at the expense of others in reality going without that which I would like for myself, namely food, shelter, water, clothing, relationship, enjoyment. I commit myself to investigate the ways in which I participate in reality and accept reality that supports the abuse of those in less fortunate positions than I am in who do not have an education and access to proper food and water to be abused through threat of survival to create products which only exist to be used to create an experience for myself and others to feel energy and enjoyment while others suffer.

I commit myself to stop the pattern of participating in desire to be like the image in the magazine and to judge myself and other according to how I or they compare to the image in the magazine.

I commit myself to recognize the equality of all forms of life on earth and to not base the value of anything or anyone on whether it fits the image of the 'ideal picture' as what is presented in a magazine or media and to instead evaluate what I see here on the Earth only in terms of whether it is in a form that supports what is Best for All and whether such a form is practical within a world that is Best for All. I commit myself to investigate and realize what forms are Best for All within the understanding that I do not yet necessarily know and understand what forms are practical and what body shapes practically support human beings to live here, not as competitive egos, but as equals to support each other and all other life forms.

I commit myself to support myself to eat and exercise, and to investigate and learn how to do so, in a way that supports myself to let go of fear, to remain here throughout my day, not obsessing over food or the shape and form of my body or of others, but to be able to focus in order to study and to write and to participate in reality without causing unnecessary suffering to myself or others in my environment, within the realization that until the money system is changed it is unavoidable that I will have to participate in the money system in order to eat and sustain my physical body.

[cameroncope]

Day 2: Desire for Praise - Fear of Admonishment - Clearing my Starting Point

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... ar-of.html

So a point that came up for me today was the realization that I have been doing much of my process for others, from the perspective of looking for the praise and admiration of others to be an indicator of whether or not I am 'on the right track'. By accepting the praise and admiration of others this led to the point where when I would not be successful within a point, I want to hide because I don't want to face admonishment. Then I tend to diminish in my participation both in Desteni projects and in chats but also in my process in general in which I would not want to support with others because I believe that they will disregard my perspective - which is obviously stemming from my own self-judgment. So today I am clearing my starting point within my process in general from doing this to 'please another' and instead assist and support myself to do this for myself as well as everyone else as one and equal to myself - so not from a point of separation in which I use others as a way to generate praise or admonishment for myself but doing this process for myself so that I can be a part of creating a world that is Best for All and in that I am therefore doing this for everyone as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my process from the starting point of trying to please others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write and share SF and blog and vlog from the starting point of wanting others to believe that I am just as good as they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to participate effectively in my process - to actually assist and support myself to change - and thus my only option is to 'fake it'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a fake and a phony and a fraud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am less than others and that I can therefore feel more by getting their approval and praise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the praise and admonishment of others as a guideline to direct my behavior and that this indicates that my physical participation in this world is directed by emotions and feelings of the mind and not by self-directive action that I know is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others and to rate myself within my participation against others in terms of whether they blog and vlog more or less consistently than I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequence of not having prepared myself through blogging and vlogging consistently to be able to write and live self-forgiveness and self-corrective action as a visible example for others to learn from and emulate to assist and support them in changing themselves within their own process to become a person that always act in a way that is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must follow the suggestions of others and accept the goals that others have placed for me and that I have therefore not trusted myself to be able to work out whether a particular goal or suggestion has an actual accumulative effect within my process to change myself effectively to what is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having lots of money in itself will allow me to focus on my process and that until then it is not necessary to apply myself - and in that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply use an excuse and backdoor to not participate fully in my process and to in fact accept self-limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others know better than I do and that I should accept defeat and give up when I have not lived up to the expectations that I believe others have for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that another can and should dictate for me when I should give up - which is actually me abdicating my self-responsibility towards what I have started to not have to face the shame of failing when I do actually give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into resistance towards achieving a result within a project that I have committed myself to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow another to give up within a goal that they have committed to in order to not expose to myself and call into question my own giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the belief that resistance is an indicator that I am doing something wrong as an excuse to give up at the first sign of resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use as a guideline of my participation the emotions and feelings generated within my mind towards events and experiences that I go through within my process and that I would thus avoid situations that I have in the past associated with negative or bad feelings and only choose experiences that I have associated with positive or good feelings.

When and as I am faced with a situation or event which I have determined to be an appropriate step to take towards completing a goal or project and I experience nervousness, fear, anxiety, or negative feelings, and this step is not putting my in unnecessary physical danger, and I then want to just stop and not go through the event - I stop, I breathe - I realize that the fear, the nervousness, the anxiety, the negative feelings are just resistance towards moving through an event that I am not already pre-programmed to feel good or neutral towards and that the resistance is merely a program designed to keep me in my place to not step outside of the illusory boundaries that have been placed on my life to keep me within certain limits. I realize that the limits are only there if I accept them and thus I move past the limits and I move myself through the event focusing on the practical, physical points necessary.

I commit myself to not allow resistance to stop me from achieving my goals and to not allow negative feelings to form any part of the feedback that I require to adjust myself and perfect myself within a particular process or project.

I commit myself to write and participate in reality to the best of my ability in order to support myself one and equal to change myself and to allow others to support me through sharing their perspectives and writings so that I might assist myself and even accelerate my own process through learning and emulating others who have walked already through what I am walking.

[cameroncope]

Day 3: Money, the Pursuit of Happiness, and Competition

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... s-and.html

Today a point came up for me where I saw that I was having a specific emotional reaction towards having to work for money and feeling like I am forced to focus on only earning money and feeling that this is unfair. I saw how this was affecting my ability to consider financial decisions with my agreement clearly and instead making decisions and arguing from a starting point of fear - not a concrete real physical fear, but rather a fear of potentially not having money in the future if one or two purchases were made that were not completely necessary.

So I decided that today I will write about the points that come up within me towards this point. As well, I will examine the points where I worry about money only in the context of my own life, however I do not consider the full context of the money system and that daily billions of people are displaced or even have no place at all within the money system and are not even able to work to earn their basic survival. So this is not a point of 'being grateful' for what I have per se, but rather simply recognizing that what my mind perceives as a 'huge problem' is really only a small problem within a very limited context of reality (my individual self) and in fact even with the 'money difficulties' that I have in my life - it is really nothing in comparison to what the majority in this world face. And if I act only from this starting point of worrying about my own survival, then how can I ever make a real difference in this world - and thus who will? And if I don't make a difference and participate in changing the system - then my money struggles will eventually become one and equal to those of the vast majority - as the system collapses and then I will have to come face to face with real physical hardship, not just mind-energy problems.

I listened to the interview called The Inequality of Resource Distribution within All Bodies of Existence in which it was pointed out how the systems in this world are parasitic and restrict the flow of resources to not allow all parts of existence an equal and one share of what is needed within all parts throughout existence. And then further in the interview, Pain as self Perfection - Introduction, it was shown how through thinking participating in energy we create disease and conflict within our human physical bodies. With these two perspectives I could begin to see how by participating in my self-centered, mind based problems I am not only harming myself but supporting the same system throughout the world which is directly causing and creating the suffering of billions in this world - while I worry only about my own illusory problems based on feelings - namely the problem of how to feel good - how to find happiness, how to avoid feeling bad, and thus using money to that end as well. All the while participating in a consumer system where billions are forced - due to threat of not having enough to survive - to literally slave to create the products that I would use to pursue my own happiness. And if I am self-honest I have to admit that I don't actually know what happiness would actually be even if I got it - if not just a temporary feeling - one that fades quickly and supports a need to experience a greater feeling each time.

Then I consider the question of 'Who Am I?' within all of this - within the pursuit of happiness - what if I were to achieve this state of happiness? Could I truly be happy when there are still billions in this world starving? Could I truly be happy knowing that I used money to create the feeling of happiness and to secure all the objects (houses, cars, security, food, relationships, etc) that ensure that my happiness will continue - thus directly contributing to the inequality and unequal distribution of resources and money which directly and indirectly creates events and situations where children starve to death or are not educated properly and thus turn to lives of crime? Could I stand in the face of all of this and still be happy? If am the one who decides who I am (i mean who else can decide that, if not me?) then I say, no, I could not be truly happy knowing that there are others who are not - and that my happiness actually depends on the unhappiness and suffering of others.

Then I have to come to the conclusion that the only way to be truly happy would be if everyone was happy - or to be even more concrete - to ensure that everyone has what they need and that everyone is able to have that which I have and that no one has at the expense of another - that my existence does not depend on limiting the existence of another. So from that perspective pursuing my own individual happiness without practically considering how to ensure everyone else's is quite an insane endeavor.

The next point would be to ask, 'Who decides what makes me happy?' - is it the corporation, who supports, through advertising, the creation and constant generation of feelings which I then follow and make decisions and purchase products that are associated with those good feelings? If I realize that anyone or anything that promises me happiness without ensuring the happiness of all is only doing so in order to create their own version of happiness based on money and that this is what competition and survival in the system is based on? No, I decide what makes me happy - and because I have decided that insanity (although somewhat unavoidable at the moment) is not my preferred way to live into eternity - then I decide that the only valid pursuit is to do what is necessary to create a system that gives to each equally - not from a 'one size fits all' conformity perspective - but from the perspective that each one gets what they require to enjoy life and and participate fully and that if I were to trade places with anyone or anything else in existence - then I would be satisfied that that life is equally valuable and valued and it then wouldn't be necessary to 'pursue my individual happiness' as if there was a such a thing.

And the only way to make the statement that one could be happy even if everyone else is not - is a statement of self-dishonesty - because the very point of being unhappy means that you or someone else would want to become happy - thus you would have other people who are not happy seeing you in your happiness and realizing that you are only happy based on their unhappiness. This would inevitably create conflict and it is exactly what we see in the world on a daily basis where everyone is competing for money, sex, power, emotional energy, resources, everything.

So the only practical way to define happiness in this context is not as a polarity as some have it and some don't (unhappiness) but to define it such that happiness is real when everyone and everything has directed to it at all times what is required and that a system is in place that ensures that this is so and redirects things appropriately when/if an imbalance occurs.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system based on the principle that for one to have another must not have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if another is enjoying themself then this is a threat to my enjoyment of myself and that I must then work to stop the other's self-enjoyment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate as a partner in an agreement wherein I believe that I must compete with my partner for happiness and that I must defend my happiness at all times, and thus always be on the alert to whether the other partner is considering my happiness or their own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in relationship wherein I believe that I cannot trust the other partner to consider me best interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my best interest is separate from that of the other partner in an agreement.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my fears of not being happy onto decisions within an agreement wherein I believe that I must argue for my happiness and that all decisions should include a consideration of my happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within an agreement wherein I cannot accept a decision in which the other partner is allowed to enjoy themself and that I believe that because I do not receive a 'positive feeling' from the decision that I must therefore argue against it and only accept decisions that provide me with a reward of a good feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money from the perspective of pursuing happiness and good feelings and to thus purchase things that I believe will assist and support me to generate good feelings and to thus contribute to and participate in a system that forces others through unequal money distribution to work as slaves to create my happiness machines and products.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inner conflict towards making a decision to spend money for someone other than myself to enjoy themself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define money as a tool of self-interest only and to thus give permission for both sides of the polarity in which I, when i have access to it, am able to use money for my own self-interest, and to suffer when I don't have access to money due to others blindly pursuing their own self-interest through money and thus fueling and perpetuation the inequality within the money system.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be able to trust the other partner in an agreement with a decision because I have in the past made decisions based on self-interest and thus I immediately believe that I have to compete against the other partner as another self-interest based system.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when their is nothing to gain from the perspective of happiness or self-interest, then there is nothing to lose, and that by particpating in the pursuit of happiness and self-interest, I am setting myself up to experience losing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by participating in my own self-interest and pursuit of happiness, that I am ignoring the suffering of all those who suffer in this physical reality and that I am also contributing to their suffering through my participation in the very system that causes that suffering fueled by my pursuit of happiness and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what I was told in school growing up that everyone has a right to happiness and that therefore whatever I do towards pursuing that happiness is always right.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question the statement that all people are born with the right to pursue happiness when clearly the majority in this world are never in a position to even consider happiness due to only constantly having to fight for survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to let go of the fear of someone else experiencing enjoyment and that this might cause me to suffer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the lie of this world that either I enjoy my life and everyone else suffers or I must suffer while someone else enjoys life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to daily live the statement that if I am not enjoying myself then no one else should either.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences within both my physical body and within the physical world by not considering that there is more to life than my little bubble of self-interest and 'happiness' and that I have not even taken the time to find out what is really going on in the world and what others are going through and that the 'problems' I experience and allow myself to believe I have are not necessary and yet will not be solved if I never expand myself to consider the full context of reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those who resort to crime to either survive or to pursue their own happiness, when I have not considered that the way our system functions, there will necessarily be those who are alienated from the system and thus are not able to make money in normal, lawful ways but must resort to violence and crime to make money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I do not resort to violence or crime to get money that I am better than or more noble than those who do - because in fact participating in the current money system is a crime against life when it contributes directly to the suffering, starvation, wars, and other crimes due to the unequal distribution of money and resources through this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another for making a decision based on self-enjoyment when I have in fact suppressed my own desire to experience happiness and positive feelings and thus I am projecting that desire onto the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that another person can make me unhappy - when in fact it my decision to participate in the polarity of happiness/unhappiness that directly causes me to experience unhappiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is unfair if I go to work to earn money and someone else doesn't and yet they benefit from the money I earned - when in fact I benefit to a tremendously unfair degree from the money system simply by being a white male from America, who has a college education - and thus there are many in this world who work physically far harder than I do and yet who receive only a fraction of the income that I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty that I receive income disproportionately to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think the thought that 'I feel its unfair.' when someone brings up a point within a decision - and that this is a red flag that I am actually basing my decision on my own feelings which is my own pursuit of happiness and self-interest and thus I am not actually standing one and equal to the other person in the decision but instead actually competing with them within starting point of the survival system of my ego.

When I am involved in decision making process with another and the thought comes up that 'I feel it is unfair.' or 'I feel like its unfair' - I stop, I breathe - I express to the other person that I am not in a position at the moment to consider the practical points because I am experiencing feelings towards the point which indicate that I am not considering what is Best for All involved in the decision. I look at the points, in writing if necessary, to clarify what is the point that I am reacting to, I apply self-forgiveness, and I then participate in the decision making process once I am clear from reactions.

When I notice during my day that I am thinking about or otherwise obsessing over a point that is based on a feeling or desire to experience a good feeling or happiness - I stop, I breathe - I clarify for myself in writing what the point of desire is indicating and whether this is a physical practical necessity and therefore whether it is something that is appropriate to spend time considering - if it is not then I let it go - breathing if necessary to release the energy of excitement or desire towards the point.

I commit myself to daily investigate through writing and research what is really going on in this world - what are others actually going through - to assist and support myself to place any desires or feelings that I have in the proper context and to assist and support myself to realize that these desires and pursuits of happiness are not real and not sustainable and that the only real point that is appropriate to focus on is that which brings about a change within this world within the system that is Best for All - thus specifically focusing on my process of writing and blogging - sharing and researching points within the system to understand how the system works and educating myself towards a degree to take a position of authority within the system - and that within this I stop the polarity of happiness/unhappiness and or indulgence/denial - I allow myself to enjoy myself within my activities and therefore I allow myself to let go of the pattern of 'taking time out to pursue a form of happiness' which I realize is a distraction and simply draws me back into participation within the mind and energy.

[cameroncope]

Day 4: Animals and Me

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... nd-me.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from animals and to participate in a belief that I am superior to animals because I am in a human form which allows me the ability to perform certain movements and to participate in the money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should have priority when it comes to room on the bed and that the dogs and cats should move for me because I am a human and they should be able to be comfortable anywhere - even the floor - even though I would be unwilling to lay on the floor myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am separate from and better than animals because I am able to communicate through the spoken word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated when a dog barks, and think that the dog is making noise which is interrupting my human experience when in fact I participate in a system as a human that interrupts and invades the lives of animals and creates amounts of suffering beyond anything that I would ever be willing to accept for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more intelligent than a dog because I am human, even though as a human I participate in a system that creates suffering for everyone including myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel jealousy towards dogs and cats because they do not have to bear the responsibilities such as working and participating in the system as a human and thus I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated towards caring for dogs and cats and have allowed myself to become resentful - when in fact I have suppressed my own desire to not have to work simply to survive and would continue to have to do so even if I were not caring for animals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so diminished and separated from life that when I would see a dog jumping and playing and barking and enjoying itself that I would become irritated to the point of wanting to hit the dog and make it stop - when I am in fact irritated with myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to experience the simple enjoyment of being here as Life and have instead participated in creating and perpetuating a system that devalues life and enjoyment of self and instead educates children to become nothing more than competitive survival systems that only harm and destroy themselves and others.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the protector of dogs and cats and thus allowed myself to feel good as if I am a savior when in fact I am simply exercising a point of responsibility towards another part of the physical reality in the form of cats and dogs which is actually myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that cats and dogs and all animals are in fact another life form that exists within the physical reality which is actually just another part of me that I have separated myself from and therefore I am not superior or inferior to animals - they are me - and thus it makes common sense for me to assist and support animals as myself to have what they require to live in this world as they are not in a position to do it for themselves due to how humans have structured the physical support systems in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system where dogs and cats and all animals are relegated to being less than humans and therefore unworthy of any equal consideration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when feeding cats food and seeing the lack of quality ingredients used in their food which would not be fit for human consumption and indicates how we as humans have placed animals as inferior and not worth giving to equally as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system where daily animals are tortured in the name of science and creating new products to be sold in order to perpetuate the illusion that Life is about survival and having comforts regardless of whether others suffer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a reality where we must murder and eat animals to harvest their bodies for energy to sustain our existence as humans in this reality.


When I feel irritated towards the behavior of a cat or a dog, whether they have torn something up, pooped on something, barked loudly, cried to have me let them in the house, scratched at my face in play, nipped at me while playing, peed on the floor, shed hair on the bed and flood, tried to eat each others' food, tried to eat my food, tried to eat my socks or shoes, whined when they want to go outside, become excited and jumpy when we are preparing to go to the dog park, or scratch and cry at the bedroom door to come in at night - I stop, I breathe - I realize that the animals are communicating within the limited forms that I understand within this physical reality and that I am simply reacting based on my pre-programming as a human in the belief that my experience of my self is more important than another beings. I allow myself to be here with the animal and not caught up in my mind as justification for why the animal's behavior is irritating. I breathe through the feeling of irritation and then I interact with the animal according to the context of the situation.

I commit myself to researching and learning how to best support animals within the current context of reality as well as how to support them within the context of what is Best for All.

I commit myself to investigate and understand all the ways in which the current system abuses, exploits, and disregards animals and places them as unequal - second-class beings on this Earth and to participate in changing the system that is Here on Earth and to not stop until there is no animal or human suffering due to an unequal system.

[cameroncope]

Day 5: All Judgement is Self-Judgement

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... ement.html

Throughout my day I am constantly interacting with others. I live with several other people and I work directly with people within my work. Sometimes I experience irritation towards things that other people say or do. While listening to an interview series yesterday about the manifestation of eye twitching, I learned that when this occurs one can look back at the people one has interacted with and see what points of reaction come up. Then one an see if a negative feeling comes up towards a person and that negative feelings about/towards others indicate a point where one is judging another for something that self does but has suppressed. So within that I have become more aware when interacting with others of my reactions and feelings and words spoken towards them to see what I might be suppressing or hiding within myself that I judge others for.

I noticed several specific points during my day in which I became frustrated with another person for pointing out things I had not done - and my response was to argue that it wasn't a big deal and that the other person was obviously having backchat about the point and that it wasn't fair that they demand that I do what they were pointing out that I had not done (in this case it was specifically about putting my dishes immediately in the dishwasher instead of leaving them in the sink). I became quite irritated within myself, even raising my voice and defending myself quite extensively. Afterwards when I looked at this point - without blaming the other person - I saw that I have in fact been suppressing my own frustration towards others for not placing their dishes in the dishwasher but instead letting the sink fill up with dishes throughout the day.

So I had actually been experiencing frustration towards others for leaving dishes in the sink - something I was obviously doing myself - and then as well becoming irritated at others when they point out that I had left dishes out - even though I had been back-chatting and allowing irritation towards others for the same thing. The whole time I was actually just suppressing my own self-judgment for not taking self-responsibility within doing the dishes properly and for my feelings - thus the point compounded until it came out as an event when someone pointed out directly what I had been allowing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel irritate towards another person for pointing out something that I have not taken self-responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel irritation towards another person - thus blaming them for my own experience - and therefore allowing myself to be self-dishonest about the actual source of my irritation and thus not taking self-responsibility for my emotions, feelings, and thoughts, in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the experience of irritation as an excuse and justification to not be here and to see what I am practically physically doing in reality - but to instead allow a feeling to guide my behavior and decision making process here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self-sabotage myself by allow myself to blame others when I experience irritation and frustration to not allow myself to discover the source of my irritation which is a point within my world that I have not taken self-responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy towards doing my dishes or other physical chores even though I realize that this will have an effect of making the physical living space around me more difficult for myself and others and to then suppress my own realization of this self-sabotage to have it only come up later as a feeling of irritation within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind to such an extent that the moment someone else speaks and a feeling comes up - I immediately follow the feeling and argue for my limitation based on the feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others for things that I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not taking self-responsibility within all points in my world.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am not currently able to take self-responsibility for every point in existence due to the amount of separation that is existent in the world - thus I have not been patient with myself and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience irritation and frustration within and towards myself for not already being perfect and taking full self-responsibility for this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue for my limitations based on feelings when another person points out a point within my world that I have not taken self-responsibility for.

When another person points out a point that I have not taken self-responsibility for and I feel irritated - I stop, I breathe - I slow down within myself and forgive the feeling of irritation - I move beyond the pattern of immediately reacting to another person's words based on a feeling that comes up within me - I stop and consider what my actual self-responsibility is within the point being brought up and make a decision based on that.

When I find myself feeling irritated towards another person and talking to myself in my head or out loud about them - I stop, I breathe - I realize that I am allowing myself to judge another person which indicates that there is a point I have not taken self-responsibility for and towards which I am allowing a point of judgement within myself. I stop and I investigate what the point is in writing if possible, when practical and to identify the pattern that I am living and not taking self-responsibility for to correct the pattern and no longer suppress self-judgment towards the point.

I commit myself to identifying and correcting the patterns which I am currently living that are supporting me to remain in limitation and to therefore live in self-interest which is not Best for All and not Best for my Self.

I commit myself to recognizing feelings of irritation and frustration for what they are and using these as points to identify patterns where I am living a pattern that is not Best for Me or for All.

[cameroncope]

Day 6: Self-Responsibility, Resistance, and Spitefulness

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... tance.html

Today as I was moving throughout my day I noticed a point that kept coming up. Yesterday I wrote about experiencing irritation towards other people doing things that I do myself and today I was much more aware of these points when they came up. I stopped and did not participate forgiving myself in those moments as I supported myself to do within my self-corrective statements yesterday. But I noticed a different perhaps more subtle point that came up, as if from under the point of irritation. I will illustrate with an example with which you can perhaps relate. So imagine you are at a friend's house and you have to go to the bathroom. So you go in and do your business and before you get up from the toilet you obviously have to use some toilet paper. But you find that the roll is empty. Behind you on the toilet cover 'shelf' (or whatever you call it) there is a roll of toilet paper sitting there - so the person who used the last piece previously just did not put it on the roll. So at this point you might feel a little irritated but then you realize - hey I have done this before myself - so I am really just judging this person for something I have done which means I am judging myself - which is obviously why I am experiencing a negative feeling towards the whole point. Ok cool - you forgive yourself and that point is over. However you now have a moment wherein you have to decide whether you will put the roll back on top of the toilet shelf or whether you will put it on the roll holder where it should be for the next person to have it conveniently in reach. But here - do you do listen to your backchat which says - fuck that last guy its not my responsibility - I mean its not my house anyway! Or do you say, well I'll be a nice person and not a jerk like the last one and I'll put the roll there even though its not my house! What do you do? Who are you within this situation?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think 'its not my responsibility' within a situation where I am actually capable and able to respond and instead use 'its not my responsibility' as an excuse to both be spiteful and actually self-sabotage myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in a given situation I must always participate in a polarity of either 'I am the dominant one and I don't do what I don't have to!' or 'I am the submissive one and I have to do what others won't' and to take on one or the other personality within various situations as if what I do and who I am within a situation are to be dictated by personalities that I have learned from others in movies, sitcoms, and my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to teach others a lesson by not taking responsibility within a point and allowing an unnecessary event to occur as if I am some fucking master who knows everything and doles out lessons to my students.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times want to teach others lessons which is really just another form of projection and self-judgment and an excuse to feel superior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am superior to others and thus I continually look for faults or mistakes of others to reinforce my belief that I am superior and to downplay what I perceive as my faults and mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure to the point that I would want to look for faults and mistakes made by others to feel secure within myself that I do not make as many mistakes or have as many faults.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself when I see a point that someone is making a mistake within and that I have an opportunity to assist them to see their mistake and yet through allowing a point of ego I will either attack the person and belittle them - which only supports them to not see the mistake but rather feel defensive - or to not say anything and instead engage in backchat about the person knowing better or being ignorant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry a conversation in my head about someone standing right next to me instead of breathing - remaining here - and participating in physical reality - not talking to myself in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use 'its not my responsibility' as an excuse to be lazy which is a form of self-interest and serves no one - not even myself ultimately as it only creates consequences to be faced by everyone later.

When I see a point that I am capable an able to respond to and the thought comes up that it is not my responsibility - I stop, I breathe - I move myself past the resistance to responding within the point and I stop all energy whether positive or negative about the point through breathing and physical action.

When I am in the presence of another person and I see that they are making a mistake and I experience backchat towards the person - I stop, I breathe - I remain here in the physical - I either allow the person to learn from their mistake through their own process or if I see that it might put myself or them or another in unnecessary danger I point out the mistake to be corrected.

I commit myself expanding myself beyond my current level of responsibility to eventually take self-responsibility for every point in this existence that I have direct or indirect ability to respond to and in the meantime I move beyond the pattern of judging myself for those things for which I am not yet able to respond - I realize that I cannot do everything myself and that is the purpose of walking within a group and yet I can expand myself when I see a point open up for which I am able to take responsibility and I stop the pattern of using the excuse that 'its not my responsibility' to remain in my current limited state of only focusing on my own feelings and emotions. I realize that this process requires me to first take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and thus I move beyond the pattern of blaming others for what I experience within myself and thus I take self-responsibility for each point - point by point - that I see open up within my world that shows me what I am accepting and allowing within myself and my world.

[cameroncope]

Day 7: Self-Forgiveness for Abusing My Body

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... ng-my.html

I have been on a ketogenic diet for the past 2.5 months now within the starting point of both wanting to lose the excess weight that I am carrying as well as to assist myself to not feel lethargic and anxious throughout my day. I have stopped eating foods that contain refined sugar as well as processed foods. I was looking at a point today made by Bernard Poolman indicating how some people will live and eat in a way where they abuse the body to get certain experiences from food, like sugar highs for example, and then when they put on weight - they then diet and in essence punish the body so that they can look good and skinny again, and that one doesn't even ask the body for forgiveness or forgive oneself to abusing the body in such a manner.

I realized that I have done this - I put on weight through overeating junk food and candy and sweets while I lay in bed at night - abusing my body by giving it things that are not supportive of the proper functioning of my organs - which is why I felt like crap all the time, obviously, because I was not giving to my body what each part required equally - and then when I gained weight I attempt to force it to lose the weight through drastically changing what I have been eating. I wasn't even considering the design of obesity - just my desire to look good.

Now I realize a few things. One is that extra weight and eating too much sugar in itself is not supportive - it can lead to heart problems due to the heart having to work harder - it can lead to diabetes due developing insulin resistance - also having too much fat surrounding the internal organs can result in a suffocating effect and reduce their functioning. So I am not going to allow myself to feel guilty and just go back to my old patterns of eating because they are abusive. However I realize that it is quite arrogant and uncaring for me to just abuse the body and force it to change without even applying any form of self-forgiveness properly to support myself to not continue abusing the body in the name of trying to look or feel a specific way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty that I have abused my body in the past through eating habits that do not provide the body with what it requires and then force the body to get in a particular shape through drastic changes in my diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body through eating high amounts of sugary sweet foods wherein the point was not to simply enjoy sugar as myself but to create an energetic experience wherein I could forget about my troubles - thus using sugar as a drug and not considering the consequences of the drug on my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider my body and what it must go through in order to change from one pattern of eating to another - as much as I experience resistance to change and thus must be patient with myself and yet push myself - I must be patient with my body and not demand unreasonably that my body instantly change according to a desire or picture in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy the bodies of men who are on magazines and look muscular and thin and to then abuse my body to force it to shape itself into the image I have seen - when it is not practically necessary for my body to be in that shape and I am in fact accepting and allowing myself to be manipulated by advertising within the consumer system that we have created as humans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being fat and to thus turn to the opposite polarity of wanting to be thin and to thus abuse my body to conform with the picture that I have in my mind of what my body should or should not look like.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to practice the principle of what you give you receive and have instead demanded from my body and not been willing to find out what it requires and give to the body that which it requires to function properly without disorder.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I cannot communicate directly with the cells of my body to find out what they require to cover up the fact that I am actually more interested in my body looking a certain way than finding out what the body requires.

Although I do not yet understand how or what it means to communicate directly with the cells within my body - I ask for forgiveness that I have placed you in a position to suffer because I have accepted and allowed myself to use you to gain experiences of feeling good through eating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about being overweight and to thus want to force my body into a picture of looking thin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being overweight makes me a loser and that I must lose the weight in order to be seen a winner in the eyes of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto others my own fear of looking fat and overweight and that I have not accepted myself as the form I am in and thus only have attempted to force myself into a different picture in the hope that this will bring me happiness and peace and a feeling of self-acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self-acceptance as only possible when I fit into a picture that I am willing to accept.

I redefine self-acceptance as realizing that I am in a state currently where I have accepted and allowed myself to live and exist in a way where my actions and participation in reality do not support what is Best for All and thus harm myself and others - and yet I realize that I am able to change and therefor I accept that I can change myself to live and exist in a way that is Best for All even though I might not yet know what that implies fully and yet I commit myself to endeavor to find out what it means to live and exist in a way that is Best for All and that once I live that self-acceptance will no longer be something I have to remind myself of because i will have accepted myself and everything that exists because it will be Best for All including myself.

I commit myself to supporting myself to lose the extra weight that I have on my body so as to not put myself as risk of developing heart problems or artery problems or joint problems - within this I commit myself to reducing my body fat percentage to 10-12% and then adopting a balanced eating approach to no longer put my body under the stress of having to lose weight and instead continue to support my body by providing it with the proper nutrients. I commit myself to exercising in a way that supports my body to build muscle mass to maintain an effective metabolic rate until I have reached a level of body fat that is supportive of my body in terms of my heart and other organs. I realize that muscle also supports the heart in delivering blood and oxygen throughout the rest of the body to be able to give the body what it requires. Beyond that I realize that looking a certain way in terms of a picture in a magazine is not practical and by desiring to look a certain way I will make decisions that will not necessarily be in the best interest of all parts of my body and I could end up harming myself and my body long term.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider that there is more to life than looking good and that looking good is just an attempt to advertize that I would like more sex and is a way to attract a partner - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the human mating rituals of bodyshaping and dieting and ignored the abuse and suffering that the body must go through as a result.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my body and to thus not be aware or have any concern for what the body must go through at a physical level as long as I get the look I am going for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage of cycles of abuse where I would starve or overfeed my body based on a relationship to food that I have created within my mind.

I commit myself to never make decisions about eating and exercising based on a relationship that I have created in my mind and to therefore make decisions based on investigation and research into what my body requires and to test the points and to look for feedback from the body and its response. I realize that I may make mistakes as one cannot completely trust the information that is here in this world as to how the body works and what proper nutrition for the body consists of therefore I commit myself to investigate and research each point fully and to share my research for cross-reference with others.

[cameroncope]

Day 8: Forbidden Fruit of Desire

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... esire.html

I had several points come up today wherein I saw that an underlying issue for me (and likely many people) is that of wanting something that I can't or am not supposed to have. Its like the story in the Bible in Genesis where Adam and Eve are tempted to eat the forbidden fruit. There are many points still in my life where I see something that I do not have access to practically in my current reality and that I even see would not support me in a practical way and yet still remains as a point of desire to have or to achieve.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the forbidden fruit that is those things not within my current physical reality is sweeter than the fruit that is my current physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire those things which I am not able to have within the context of my current physical reality and to invest time and mental energy and imagination into thinking about and desiring those things which are not a part of my current physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system wherein people are so unsatisfied with their lives that they begin to desire any and all things that are different than what they currently have and experience and this leading to stealing, jealousy, adulterous relationships, rape, murder, war, starvation and poverty through some trying to get the quick fix of simply taking what they want through violence or other means.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is ok to entertain fantasies of what it would be like with different things in my life and to then feel depressed when going back to my actual current reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a relationship as the partner who still allows him or herself to have thoughts about past relationships and partners and to participate in feelings of nostalgia or wishful thinking about having the same experiences again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty that thoughts about past relationships and partners come up in my mind and dreams when these points are simply coming up to show my acceptances and allowances that I have not yet forgiven within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate feelings of desire towards other people and things and to hold them in my mind as forbidden as a way to play a mental energy game with myself instead of releasing the point and realizing that such games do not support me within my process.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to let go of the desire for the forbidden fruit.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that while I play mental games of desire with things that I myself have deemed forbidden to entertain and occupy myself there are others in this reality who do not have the luxury of such games and are occupied most of the time simply with trying to survive due to physical things like food, shelter, medicine, and education being deemed forbidden fruit for them due to the nature of our system as an unequal, competitive, profit driven system which has no consideration for the practical needs of the vast majority of people and beings on this Earth.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that the forbidden fruit that I desire only feeds the mind and neglects the practical physical needs of my body and those around me - thus the forbidden fruit of desire is not a balance, supportive, sustaining fruit like real physical fruit - and is thus not real and therefore not relevant to my self-Here except within the context that it shows me how i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical here and instead exist as a mind-energy system in complete separation from physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the forbidden fruit of my desires are able to actually satisfy and quench my desire when in fact the fruit is of no real substance and only supports my desires to grow and grow and to thus eventually take over as the total purpose for my existence - as this happens to many in this world whose lives become nothing more than a quest for money, or fame, or acceptance, or sex, or some other pursuit which is actually just the pursuit of happiness which is actually just the driving force behind consumerism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I am unhappy and unfulfilled and to thus look for something to make me happy and to then feel guilty and place that which would apparently make me happy as 'forbidden fruit'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a 'good person' because I do not take the physical step of pursuing the forbidden fruit of my desire and instead keep it at bay always as a possibility that i do not indulge in and in this I delude myself into believing that I am better than others when in fact I am the same and only use self-manipulation as guilt to not allow myself to indulge in that which I desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself and reality because i believe that I am not allowed to indulge in the the things that I desire.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to use common sense to see whether indulging in a desire would support me practically in this world and within my process to change myself to a version of myself that is Best for All and to thus make my decision of whether to indulge in a desire only on whether it supports me within this context and not based on a a feeling of guilt or excitement or a belief that I am better than someone else because I do or do not indulge in a desire.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this earth could be the garden of eden and yet we have fucked it up by believing that we can each pursue our own individual desires and we allow ourselves to even be more excited and desirous of those things which we cannot have and have created a reality based on this in which virtually no one has what they want or need.

When I find myself thinking about something that I do not have and a feeling of desire comes up - I stop, I breathe - I look at whether having or participating in the point will support me in my physical reality as it currently exist or whether the point is based only on a desire for experience based on a feeling and what are the possible consequences if I participate or not within the point.

I commit myself to open up each point of desire as it comes up - to not suppress it only to have it grow as a stronger desire within myself - and to look at and discuss the potential playouts and consequences with my partner - to not have something to hide and to thus allow a desire to exist as a forbidden fruit but rather to consider the possibilities within the context of my current reality.

[cameroncope]

Day 9: Imaginary Boundaries

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... aries.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system where it is normal to fear my neighbor and even expected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system as humanity based on the desire to have one's own property and to believe that this property must be protected at all costs and that having and maintaining one's property is the sole purpose of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the system as an American believing that people from outside of my country do not deserve the same rights as myself such as the right to have a living wage, the right to employment, and the right to express oneself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from people of other nationalities due to imaginary borders and actual physical borders that have been created by humans to reinforce the imagined separation between peoples.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself that I have participated and accepted a system where people are discriminated against on the basis of their skin color, belief system, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, likes and dislikes, education level, family background, and various other labels and definitions that only exist in the context of fear and the desire to divide people into groups to create and maintain a level of conflict in which humanity cannot live as neighbors as equals in a way that is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system that allows a small minority of humanity to benefit off of the suffering of the vast majority and that they are able to do so based on the consent implicit or otherwise and therefore participation within the system of the majority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel jealousy towards others who I perceive as benefiting unfairly from the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people should only benefit from the system if they are like me and if they adhere to the same beliefs and practices that I adhere to - otherwise they are different and do not deserve what I am entitled to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system where certain humans are entitled to benefits that others are not entitled to simply by the place of their birth or the specific family they are born into.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my actions and my participation within the system is what creates and recreates the system each day and that it is the sum total of everyone's actions that perpetuates the system as it is and thus the way to change the system is for each to change their participation to no longer accept that humans are separate from each other and separate from the Earth and that fear is a necessary part of life - when in fact fear is only a consequence of separating ourselves from Life and from the Earth and that if we would stop participating in separation and consider ourselves as One and Equal then we could find ways to make sure that everyone has what they need and thus there would be nothing to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that humans have always been at war with each other and that there have always been and will always be differences that separate us - when in fact I don't know how things have been in the past other than what I have been told .

I commit myself to use common sense to see what is actually possible in this world - and to not let the stories and limitations that others believe in to limit me and what is possible in this world as my participation - and I commit myself to using common sense to counter any and all delusions that are put forth as reasons and excuses for why humanity cannot stop the illusions of separation that currently divide us.

I commit myself to writing, self-forgiveness and living the self-correction to stop the separation within myself and to uncover any and all excuses that I would use to not change myself to become the version of myself that is Best for All and I commit myself to daily use the time I have to both do what is practically necessary to live in this world while supporting myself to use the time I have available to change myself to stand up as an example that change is possible so that anyone who sees my example will no longer have any reason or excuse to believe that change is not possible for humanity.

[cameroncope]

Day 10: Everything in its Right Place

http://cameronsjourneytolife.blogspot.c ... place.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things to be perfect all the time even when in the current context of the situation it is unrealistic to expect things to be perfect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated when things are not perfect according to my definition of how they should be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated when things are out of place, when things are messy, or when things are not clean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my experience of feeling irritated when things are out of place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is a 'big deal' when something is out of place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry on an internal dialogue about others not placing things where they belong and thus I am blaming others and creating fantasy scenarios about what might have happened when I in fact do not know because I was not there to see what actually happened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in passive-aggressiveness as thinking about other people and thinking about whether I should confront another about something not being in its proper place and yet fearing to actually say something to the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an internal conflict about an item not being in its proper place and to create relationships with others in my mind as potential suspects where I am the judge and jury and where I can feel superior to others because I am not guilty in that moment of having placed something where it doesn't belong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on things being in their proper place to the point that I would feel irritated when they are not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply blame others for not putting things away properly and not participating in coming to an effective solution to support everyone including myself to place things in a consistent place to make it easy to find them when they are needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend like it is a large inconvenience when I am not able to immediately find something even though there are few places where it could be and thus I am creating a form of drama for myself instead of remaining here as Breath and focusing on the specific task at hand.

When I find myself feeling irritated about something not being in its 'normal' 'proper' place and blaming another person for my feeling irritated or otherwise having backchat about another person being responsible for the item being misplaced - I stop, I breathe - I realize that the situation is simply showing me a point where I am accepted and allowing myself to blame another for my inner experience and thus I am actually grateful for the opportunity to stop myself and no longer accept such limitation and excuses from myself in that moment. If I see that a pattern is being formed wherein things are continually misplaced or not put away properly then I will endeavor to find an appropriate solution such as discussing with the others in the house an agreement to place things in a specific place each time.