I saw a point last night while trying to go back to sleep --- with all the talk about redefining words, centering on the latest earliest Quantum Mind lectures describing in minute detail how human beings originate and generate thoughts within the physical and the mind, and the recent Anu chats about why redefining words are important.
I've been working on redefinition of words for years, but usually from an angle of attempting to make definition of words "honest" instead of "deceptive definitions" (aka politicians or mind-control" and outright deceptive double-meaning, reverse-meaning, etc. where definitions are intentionally mixed up and altered to mean something utterly different than their accepted everyday, accepted meaning.
...And it occurred to me after Anu mentioned in the latest Reptilian interviews about how the purpose of redefining words is key to transcend the common vocabulary which keeps humanity within a limited definition, which makes sense to me, in that I saw for a moment that these words also can stand in place for the various personalities we accept without any scrutiny, self-reflection or self-investigation.
And while I laid in bed trying to get back to sleep while thinking about the words I heard earlier that night, in my mind's eye I saw a spectrum of my personalities arrayed and laid out as a deck of playing cards, each card assigned a "role" and "value" that I merely accepted and never questioned, let alone attempted to re-define That was a long way to say words+personalities, I reckon.
A memory bubbled up to the surface and replayed a scene where I was at the farm one afternoon, sitting in the kitchen with Sunette. She held me in her gaze for a few moments - shook her her head and smiled and said to me, "Darryl, man, you've lived so many lives in one lifetime," and chuckled.
Instantly I understood what she meant. Last night, I gained a deeper understanding of her words. I refer back to the spread-out deck of playing cards imagery... every card was me in a spectrum of different roles/aspects/personalities depending on my relationship with others, my environment, working life, etc... Multidimensional aspects which bled, merged, shifted into each other depending on my relationship an any given point in time... as student, cartoonist, collegiate and artist, musician, writer, single, father, estranged father, husband (twice) divorced husband (twice) boyfriend, loner, truck-driver, inspector, salesman, new age love burger, sports fan, liberal, anarchist, Christian and atheist, Destonian.... et al, & ad infinitude... and there are certainly sub-sets of cards, personalities, selves within each of those roles as well...
and it occurred to me: I just accepted those roles without question - never mind imagining I could redefine them at all. I had accepted all the limited definitions imposed by my paltry vocabulary. What was so great about the process of redefinition of words is that such redefinition is a "real" thing and not just relegated to a meaningless intellectual exercise is something that is amazing to me.
What originally kept me awake was the returning thought that how thoughts act like vampire on the human physical body, sucking the energy out of the body to transform it into energy. Yeah, talk about a gift that keeps giving. Cuz at the end of the day, vampirism is a crime, isn't it, as Mark E Smith would say. And that we unknowingly accept and allow this to occur unchallenged (to be fair, nobody understands how it works, anyway. But it is still a drag). BUT
I'm still breathing. Somehow I have placed myself within a position where it is possible to work through all this unpleasant, existential situation.
VIVA La Desteni!