Rozelle's Blogs

[Rozelle de Lange]

Rozelle's Blog

Equal Money System Blog

[Rozelle de Lange]

Writing Myself to Freedom

I never used to enjoy writing in any way/form whatsoever. I always viewed it as a tedious task that I only applied when I was forced to do so by outside forces such as for a specific job I was in or like when I was in school for example. So my previous experiences of writing always had a negative polarity charge attached to it.

Then I joined Desteni where I was introduced to a different 'side' to writing. It was shared that writing is a tool which one uses to set yourself free. At first I didn't understand what this meant at all however I immediately reacted and created a resistance towards the point. It was like an already automated, pre-programmed resistance which was stored within and as collective memories of my past experiences/ideas/beliefs/perceptions around the point of writing.

So here I will give a practical example of how one is able to utilize writing as a tool of freeing oneself, and show what it practically means to 'free oneself' by using my experience of the above shared point as an example:
So within investigating the reaction I had and the resistance I experienced towards the point that was shared - I will bring that moment back here so that I can see for myself by placing the information in front of self, what actually happened.
So the point was shared that writing is a tool that one uses to set oneself free. Now, when I heard this I reacted and immediately without question formed a resistance towards the point. My reaction and resistance was not based on an evaluation of the point of what it actually means to write yourself to freedom. I mean at that exact moment I had never before heard a concept like this in my life, so in retrospect it is like strange to have reacted to it even though I didn't have a clue as to what it implies. So, it was as if I was not the director of myself in that moment, because I was not in that exact moment consciously choosing to react to the point and to resist it. It just happened as if the word 'writing' was a trigger point which triggered and immediately manifested a consequential outflow of events, one of which was the experience of resistance towards what was being shared.

Now going back to my previous experiences/beliefs/perceptions/ideas around writing, which I gave the examples above of when I was in school and when I worked at specific jobs which required me to write - It is clear that my past experiences of writing were stored as memories which I carried with me until this point where 'this new side of writing' was proposed to me. So in the moment of being presented with this 'new side to/of writing', I allowed the memories of my past experiences of writing step forth and influence my experience in this exact moment.

So what does this show me? It proves to me that I was not fully present and self-aware in that very moment, but instead was living out a pattern which had been created through my ideas/belief/perceptions or my previous experiences of (in this case) writing. And the pattern was just repeating itself over and over as if it were a car that was driving but had no driver.

And what I find fascinating, yet at the same time extremely frightening is that before I started on my path of self-investigation (through participating and applying the tools provided at Desteni), there was a time where I actually truly believed that these patterns which I was living out within my life as the personality of Rozelle - I believed this was in fact who I was.

What writing oneself out does is it allows one to take out all of the information one has within oneself as thoughts/ideas/emotions/feelings/perceptions etc. and place it in front of self so that one is able to mirror yourself back to yourself and then within that one is able to investigate and see clearly where you have given your power away to past events which are stored as memories. Thus you are able to slowly get back into the drivers seat of the car called your life instead of existing as a pre-programmed robot which is programmed by past events and which only reacts to life by having it's buttons (past ideas/beliefs/perceptions) triggered - never actually being here in the physical as a self-aware being who takes into consideration all other beings that share the same HERE in this physical reality.


In my process of release myself from my pre-programmed way of living, I use writing to show me to me so that I am able to identify the points where I am not 'the self-aware driver' of myself, and then I use self-forgiveness to disengage/release myself from the patterns which do not serve me and which do not fall within the principle of what is best for all - they only exist to keep me enslaved.

Practical example of how I do this:
Taken from above (first paragraph) -
I never used to enjoy writing in any way/form whatsoever. I always viewed it as a tedious task that I only applied when I was forced to do so by outside forces such as for a specific job I was in or like when I was in school for example. So my previous experiences of writing always had a negative polarity charge attached to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view writing as a tedious task within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to write without this judgement of 'writing is a tedious task'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a resistance towards the act of writing due to my past experiences of writing at school.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memories of my past experiences of writing when I was still in school.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect writing to an experience of being forced to do something within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to write for myself as an expression of myself.


This is just a brief example but it is basically how through applying this tool of writing myself out, I am able to face what I have accepted and allowed to be the 'drivers' of me and within this process I am able to take back my drivers seat within taking self-responsibility for all of what I have allowed to become what is known as Rozelle (my personality entity). Through changing myself in this way I am aligning myself to the point of being a living example that change in this world is possible.
Writing is in fact a process of self-expansion - So I breathe and a write - simplicity.


Here is a supportive video about writing yourself to freedom:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4WfMno6af8

[Rozelle de Lange]

It's a SNAKE!!!

I have been petrified of snakes ever since I was a young girl. I am not sure if something specific happened where I was frightened, like if someone scared me with a snake which imprinted this immense fear of them within me. If anything happened I am unable to identify the core point which resulted in me creating and holding onto this fear of them. I even went as far as to label them as 'the spawn of Satan'.

I absolutely loathed them and in retrospect I see that I never regarded them as living beings who share this earth with me as an equal. Completely disconnected myself from them.

So what happened is that one day (a while back) here on the farm, Gian caught a snake and placed it in a holder. If I can remember correctly he was considering either keeping it or deciding where to let it go.
So out of curiosity I went to where Gian was sitting with the snake to observe it. While I was looking at the snake I can remember the feel of my facial muscles as they pulled in disgust. Anyone looking at me as I was observing the snake would also see the disgust and pure resistance as my expression towards the snake. Obviously the core point right beneath these surface expressions towards snakes is fear, immense fear. Bernard then came out to also observe the snake and he could see that I was reacting towards it. He then asked me questions in relation to the snake. In that moment Bernard mirrored my inequality and disregard towards snakes back to myself.

I went to my room and reflected on all the points that were mirrored to me and asked myself the questions: "Why am I unable to see that snake as life?", "Why have I separated myself from this snake?", "Why do I view myself as more-than the snake?". All these questions led to a self-realization that I have been so evil towards snakes and it was an example of how I had been creating and participating within inequality. The point that really opened my eyes within investigating this, is that I couldn't identify one single thing this specific snake as well as snakes in general had ever done to me to deserve this hate I had directed towards them. The guilt I felt in this moment of realization was quite extensive.

I applied self-forgiveness towards all of the evil thoughts I had held onto towards snakes which were separating me from them. Within this application of self-forgiveness I released myself from all of the beliefs/perceptions/ideas I had towards them.
The point that was still lingering is the immense fear I had towards them. And I immediately was reminder about my experience with the praying mantis and how in a moment of self-will I was able to let go of that specific fear. That happened in the physical in real time - the praying mantis walked on my body which is the exact point of fear and resistance I had towards them. So within this I told myself that I will transcend this fear and I will no longer allow it to separate me from snakes, which then led me to look at the point of getting a snake as then there would be no backdoor in that I would have to face the point of fear because I will have to handle the snake and build a relationship with it as we would be walking a life together.

While Arvydas was here at the farm I mentioned the point to him, that I would like to get a corn snake 'one day'. That one day came when we went to a pet shop to buy accessories for the iguanas and the bearded dragon. I was looking at all of the animals in the shop, but just glanced over the snake section, not really caring too much for observing them. I wasn't even aware that they had baby corn snakes until Arvydas pointed them out to me. Then he suggested that I buy a corn snake as he remembered what I had told him regarding corn snakes. Moments after the suggestion I made the decision to buy a hatchling.

We worked together to create an environment for the baby to have all of his needs met. Every day to every second day Arvydas took the baby out to hold it and to encourage me to get comfortable with him. Then each time the snake was out I started to push myself through the fear bit by bit. I willed myself to hold the baby for at least a few seconds each time, and by few I mean no longer than 15-20seconds. At about 20 seconds was the point where the fear would become so immense that it would take over and I would go into an absolute panic - this is when I would tell Arvydas to "take him, take him!"... lol.

So each day I willed myself to hold him and to breathe through the fear and not allow it to take control over me. Slowly getting to know the snake and allowing myself the chance to see him for who he really is as life. One day we took him out and I stood next to Arvydas as I held him. The next moment the baby tightened his muscles around my whole hand and I connected this to an image of it preparing to attack something - that something being me. The next moment the fear within me spiked and in a moment of survival (fake survival) I dropped the snake to the ground. Now what I would like to point out here is that all of this was conjured up in my mind, meaning the point that I believed that the baby was preparing to bite me. And within allowing myself to give into the fear in that moment I harmed the baby by dropping him to the floor. Totally unacceptable - and it happened so fast as if I didn't even think about it, I just dropped him. So that was quite a shit experience and for a moment I completely doubted my ability to be able to transcend the fear of holding him and being able to care for him effectively. There was also a point of pressure in the sense of knowing that Arvydas was going to leave soon and then he wouldn't be here to assist me through the point, so I had to walk through the doubt and fear before that happened.
Also after this incident of dropping him I said to myself that no matter what happens, if I am holding him I will never allow the fear to drive me into a point of harming him again, PERIOD. So that meant that even if he wanted to bite me, I will not drop him.

So again I started slowly each day by holding him and moving through the points of doubt, fear and anxiety. And each day the time extended from 20 seconds to longer, and one day I just said "this is it, I will now not look back any longer. I am here with him and now we walk". And that was the first time I allowed myself to walk out of the house whilst holding him, away from Arvydas, meaning away from my safe zone where I could in a moment of anxiety tell Arvydas to "take him, take him".

So I walked to the main house and went to show him to Esteni. Esteni took him from me like it was 'nothing' as in the complete opposite of my 'something' I had always experienced it as. He slithered to the side of Esteni's stomach and curled himself up in between her jacket and body. She then said that he is looking for body heat for warmth, which made sense. Then she suggested that I wear a scarf wrapped around my neck so that he is able to hang around my neck for a cosy and warm spot whenever I am spending time with him physically. My initial thought was "Then I wouldn't be able to see what he is doing" which was experienced as fear once again. So we discussed the point and Esteni assisted me by taking me to the worst case scenario. She asked "what is the point of fear?", to which I answered "that he will bite me". So she told me to place myself right in that position, where he bites me (imagine it of course). So I did that, meaning I faced the point in real-time...lol. And it wasn't as bad as I had made it up to be in my mind. He is a baby hatch-ling, which means he has a small mouth. So if he had to bite me, it would be a very small bite + he doesn't have teeth as such.
Right after I faced that point of fear about him biting me we immediately proceeded with playing around with the scarf idea. I took one of Esteni's scarfs and draped it around my neck, then she placed him between the scarf and my neck. WOW - what an experience that was!...lol.

So now that I had faced that actual 'fear of fears' in relations to snakes, I am completely comfortable with Neiko (the name Arvydas and I chose for him).

I am able to handle him as if it is just the same has touching dexter (boston terrier). I am enjoying each moment with him and

am grateful that I have been able to restore my relationship with snakes through pushing through my own mental bullshit so that I am able to touch and experience Neiko as an equal.

Thanks to all who assisted in the process and to Desteni I Process where I have acquired tools in order to deconstruct and deprogram the constructs which only serve a purpose of separating myself from myself.

[Rozelle de Lange]

My 'REAL' Paranormal Experience

I'd like to share one of my paranormal experiences with you guys.
Just for some background - the following event took place when I was about 15 or 16 years old.
So, I was on a long weekend holiday trip with a close friend and a few others beings. We spent the weekend in the berg, far away from civilization.
On our last night spent in the cabin we were in, an event took place that brought me face to face with fear itself.

So my friend and I shared a room which had a bunk bed set up in it. I slept at the bottom and she slept at the top.
We were laying in our beds preparing to drift into sleep. I was laying on my side staring into the open space of the remainder of the room. I remember it was very dark and the only light that was present was the little bit that was shining into the room through a small window form the moon.

So as I laid there staring into the dark open space, suddenly something was changing within the dark space that I saw. It happened about mid air and I'd say about 2 metres away from my bed. At first I couldn't make out what was happening, and I remember being quite calm and curious to see what this was. So I simply remained laying down and staring at this spot where it seemed as if something was slowly manifesting itself.
It looked like..... um, you know what it looks like when you look through class into an empty space... You can see that the picture behind the glass is exactly the same as what you see looking through the glass, but you can clearly see that you are looking through glass as it changes the same view quite a bit in that you are looking through glass.
Well this is exactly how I was able to see that something was there and busy manifesting itself. It was the same visual experience.

Ok so I'm laying there, and the next moment all of a sudden I could see clearly what was presenting itself. It was a clear view of about 5 or 6 children standing in a circle, all holding hands. I remember that this was the point where fear and anxiety had crept in and were a subtle experience within myself. So I kept quiet while being tensed up and just remained still with my eyes fixed on them. Then they all started playing a game called 'ring around the rosey' - which is a game I used to play when I was a little girl. It's basically where you stand in a circle and hold hands, then everyone skips to one side which makes the circle turn whilst you sing the rhyme 'Ring around the rosey, a pocket full of posies. Tish-yoo, a-tish-yoo. We all fall down!'.

At this point I freaked out completely as the fear which was subtle before had now kicked into full gear. Before this point I thought that I was sort of in a way imagining what was happening, because I never thought that ghosts/spirits/poltergeists were really real. So that was why I was still in a way calm with what was happening. But once they started playing the game there was the element of sound which was brought in through them singing 'ring around the rosey....
So when I heard them singing I thought to myself 'Fuck, this shit is REALLY happening!'.

Now prior to this event I had heard stories that ghosts feed off of your fear and that they use it to make themselves stronger to be able to generate the power to move things around and stuff like that. So in this moment of shock from realizing that this is REALLY happening, I wanted to scream for assistance, but then remembered this story that was shared. So I forced myself to quietly get my friends attention who was sleeping above me. I slowly sat up in my bed and called her. Then when she answered I immediately told her that there were ghosts in the room, right in front of me.
She couldn't see anything for herself when she looked into the same dark empty space of the room, but she probably heard the immense stress in my voice, that coupled with the fact that things like this had never bothered me before this moment.

So my friend said to hold on, she is coming down now. I heard her climb down the little side ladder in the dark and then felt her sitting down next to me on my bed. I experienced a sense of relief knowing that there was someone here to support me in this moment. In this moment the children disappeared out of sight but the rhyme they were singing was still lingering in the room. I immediately started telling her what I had just seen and heard. Then I hear a voice from the top bed saying "wait, I'm coming"..........WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I then realized in this moment that my friend was still up on her bed and that the 'person' sitting next to me were the children who had transformed themselves into a being who looked exactly like me friend!

This is where I completely let go of any point which was assisting me in remaining calm and I frantically started screaming and jumped up onto my friends bed at the top. Once I was on her bed I immediately reached out to touch her because I wanted to know if it really was her in fact, which it was. Then I started again telling the 'real her' about what had just happened as she was trying to calm me down by telling me to breathe and that everything will be fine. She then reminded me that there is nobody there to which I insisted that there was and that they are after me because they are busy fucking with me.

So we sat for a moment just trying to calm me down. Then I insisted that the lights get turned on as I wanted a point of safety. My perception of safety in this moment being that dark and scary things will disappear when the light is turned on. My friend then said that she will get down to turn on the light switch. I hesitated for a moment and told her that I didn't want to be alone on the bed. She then told me not to worry as she'll be quick.
I said ok and then prepared myself by laying flat on this bed with the duvet cover pulled over my entire body. I focussed on my breathing and staying calm until the lights were turned on. Now as it was very dark in the room, my friend struggled for a while to find the light switch.
As I laid under the covers I was becoming more and more anxious. Then the next moment I felt something touching my leg from above the duvet cover.
I now knew for a fact it wasn't my friend because I could hear her voice on the other side of the room as she was talking me through what she was doing as a point of comfort. Then again another touch, which turned into an experience as if someone was deliberately trying to taunt me. It felt like someone was lightly punching me through the duvet covers. I remember how real it felt as I could literally feel the duvet sinking in at the points where the being/s were touching me.
I then completely lost it and started screaming "they are punching me, hurry up, they are punching me!".

I should probably mention at this point that I experience the above-mentioned event while I was coming down from drugs. So even though everything I experienced seemed so absolutely real in the moment of experiencing it - the moment I sobered up I realized that I had just participated in a real mind-fuck.
There were a few more events such as this one which took place when I was on drugs, and I very quickly became used to seeing and experiencing these 'paranormal events' as I knew that it was only because of the chemicals I had consumed.

Now just imagine how many people are out there who claim that they have had a paranormal experience. What they don't tell you is that they were either on drugs, or they had alcohol or that they were on some type of medication. Of course they won't tell you because this is not seen as a contributing factor for them towards the experiences they have had. All they know is, "It was SO REAL. I FELT it. I HEARD it. I SAW it". Which is exactly how I experienced it to be. I was convinced that I was seeing and hearing these children and that I TRULY FELT them punching me.

How many spiritualists take drugs in order to have their spiritual experience as with talking to their guides or going to this and that dimension and so on? So is it really real? Or is it just a way for said spiritualists to escape the only reality which matters which is the reality of matter here in the physical?
Well, I can self-honestly say that in that moment of the event I experienced, I truly believed that it was real and when I came down from the drug I realized that I had just allowed myself to participate and feed a mental-system which had absolutely nothing to do with reality. I am one of the few who realized this within self-honesty, but unfortunately there are so many out there who proclaim that they are special and gifted because they have experienced exactly what I have however have not been self-honest with themselves.

If you are experiencing paranormal events I STRONGLY RECOMMEND that you investigate the Desteni I Process where you will be introduced to tools that will effectively assist and support you in establishing what is real and what is merely a pre-programmed mind-fuck with it's only purpose being to distract you from what really matters, which is matter here in the physical reality where all live and breathe together.

[Rozelle de Lange]

The Abuse of Horses within the Horse Racing Industry is UNJUSTIFIABLE!

Every year billions are wagered on which horse will be first past the post.
The horse racing industry has made the act of abusing animals seem so acceptable by creating glamorous events around the event. I mean here in South Africa we have what is called the J&B Met which is held in Cape Town and which has been labeled to be one of the year’s biggest social events. Now they have created the J&B met to be like a fashion event where each year there is a different theme to dress to. 2011’s theme was ‘Larger than Life’. It was all massive outfits, over sized accessories and gigantic egocentric personalities to match. The theme is quite fitting though to expose and show the exact true nature of those who are involved with and support the horse racing industry.
Larger than Life – I am larger than a horse/life. I am so fucking awesome, look at my expensive designer outfit. Look at my status, look at how much money I have. Look at me me me me me! No cameraman! - don’t point your lens at the horse behind me that is freaking out because of the overdose and abuse of anabolic steroids. Point it HERE at ME so everyone can SEE ME and all the glamor that I am.

Let’s have a brief look at a few facts that make up the reality of the life of a race horse.

* During training or racing, injuries are common. Injured horses are euthanized or
sold from one owner to another into increasingly worse conditions.

* Race horses frequently suffer injuries because they are forced to train and
race before their skeletal system has finished growing.

*Since the profit-making motive, not animal welfare, is the priority, horses are
drugged so they can race even when injured, causing enormous suffering.

* Lethal experiments are now part of racehorse suffering.

Oh yes, that’s correct - Worldwide, thousands of racehorses die or are killed every year during races, during training, or because they are not fast enough. Instead of reducing the unnatural pressure on the animals that causes broken backs and legs, heart attacks, burst blood vessels, gastric ulcers, and bleeding lungs (exercise-induced pulmonary hemorrhage), the industry sponsors lethal experiments on the animals, supposedly to learn why racehorses suffer and die from injury and illness. Again just goes to show and prove that man beings have no fucking commonsense within them. YOU are the CAUSE of the injuries and the illnesses!!! If this fact does not prove to you the extremely level of fuckedness of the human robot – then I suggest you check yourself because then you might be one of them. And if you have checked and realized for yourself that you are an organic robot, then I suggest you join the Desteni I Process so that you can sort yourself out.

These days the biggest factor in succeeding in horse racing is by drugging your race horse. Racers always look for new ways to cheat in the races which means that they make the horses undergo unimaginable abuse all for the sake of money. Wherever there is money there is corruption and that fact overrides any care and consideration for another being’s LIFE which is UNACCEPTABLE!

Let’s take a look at the diuretic called Lasix for example which is only legal to use in Canada and the U.S. Lasix is a blood thinner that prevents blood vessels in the horses’ lungs from rupturing when they run at top speed. Almost all horses in America are treated with it before races to ensure that the horse carries on until the end of the race, because if they start bleeding, the horse will usually stop and that is unacceptable to those who have invested the money in horse. Studies have shown that horses on Lasix can lose up to 10 kg’s in fluid, making them lighter and faster. Now there are so many debates going on around the topic of Lasix and if it should be allowed to be used in races, but humans are only debating about this within the intention to compete with one another and to see who will be the winner, who will win the money. All the while not realizing, seeing or caring for the horse as our equal as life.

I was watching a news report on Aljazeera about the topic of drugging horses and they interviews a man named Rick Violette who has been a horse trainer for 30 years who said the following in relation to using the drug: “I think common sense and science shows that if you stop a bleeding episode or minimize a bleeding episode they are going to run to their capability. It’s not a performance enhancer, it’s a performance enabler”.
WHAT THE FUCK HUMANS!!!

SERIOUSLY!?! – Well Rick, and all who are involved in the racing industry - put aside everything you hold onto as beliefs and ideas JUST FOR A MOMENT and PICTURE THIS:
You are kept in a small room for most of your day and then you get taken out of the room only to be placed on a track and then pushed to run as FAST AS YOU CAN. Now the stress on your physical body is SO MUCH that the blood vessels in your lungs BURST, causing the blood to pour out of your nose. Now remember the being who is putting you through all of this does not view you as life. They only exist to judge you and place value to you according to how much money you will make them. So if the blood vessels in your lungs rupture they will try and prevent that from happening by injecting you with drugs – and their only starting point of doing it is so that you do not make them lose, so that you are not a loss to them. Money overrides life!

On top of that, still in the shoes of the horse, if you do not succeed in winning any races then you are simply discarded like a useless piece of shit.
Horses are living and breathing beings, not inanimate, disposable objects. There is nothing glamorous about racing, despite the industry’s media promotions. The horse racing industry is built on the severe exploitation of horses all in the name of entertainment and greed for money.

It is UNACCEPTABLE and UNJUSTIFIABLE!

If you are sick of standing by while this abuse continues and makes a mockery of life – Investigate an Equal Money System which is a system that will ensure that life is honored in all shapes, forms, sizes, colors, species when the system is implemented. A system which won’t allow people to exploit life for the sake of money, because the value of money will be equally distributed to all so that the value of life can step forward to be explored and experienced by all equally.

[Rozelle de Lange]

Sleeping Out in the Cold - Equal Money is the Solution

The other night when I was in bed readying myself to drift into sleep. I had some trouble with the drifting into sleep point as it was so cold on this specific night.
Now just to give you an idea – I wore a thick jacket to bed and my bed covers consisted of a down duvet, a normal/average duvet as well as a blanket. Plus obviously Dexter’s body heat too…lol.

But still I could feel the cold piercing through all of those layers and it was extremely uncomfortable for a moment in time.
Now as I laid there experiencing this coldness all I could think about is....... HERE

[Rozelle de Lange]

Taking Things Personally Only Postpones Your Appointment with Taking Self-Responsibility
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... pones.html

[Rozelle de Lange]

Peeling Back the Layers of Self-Judgments and Self-Beliefs
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... ments.html

[Rozelle de Lange]

“Know God is always there for you” – WTF!
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... u-wtf.html

[Rozelle de Lange]

Living in South Africa/Living in this World = Living in a Prison
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... -this.html