Hello, everyone

[Denise]

I am a beginner when it comes to using self-forgivness as a tool in my life.

I experienced many tragic events in my lifetime and realized lately that I made my identity "victim". The events that occurred were life altering and sad, horrific and seemingly senseless at the time, however, lately I realized the responses and abuses I did to myself and those around me were worse than the actual events. i am at a place where i want to be honest with myself. When I apply the tool of self-forgivness and using writing as a tool to see the systems I created in response to abuse, violence, tragic events, it is "ugly" and scary, but i created fear as a system to block myself from moving.
About me: parent, work a few jobs, jump starting a business, friend to a few(I need help with relationships)

i just started a business as a grower of organic food and the lessons i am learning about myself are so powerful through this process of planting, preparing for and doing the physical labor and sharing my progress with my friend.

i am here for support, I guess. My whole focus most of my adult life is to be support for others because I thought it was too late for me and that I was too far gone to even ask for support, yet I secretly wanted people to just know that I needed their help----i totally lied to myself all around!

I want to change myself.I will share more later.

I chose livingfree as my username because that's what i want to be....living free!!

[Marlen]

Hi! Welcome to the forum

Cool that you are here to share your process on how you have already been applying Self Forgiveness and Writing, here within sharing them, you'll be able to get some support with it and cross-referencing the points while also reading others' processes and perspectives, which is what is so cool about this forum. You've got the starting point already as a means of self-correction, this is the place to be, definitely.

We are all constantly learning how to apply Self-Forgiveness and as you might know, we've begun walking a 7 year process that you can visit to see how we are committing ourselves to write for 7 years as a means to establish writing, self forgiveness and self-corrective application through committing ourselves to ourselves as Life.

To continue sharing your writings, I suggest to open up a thread here Writing Yourself to Freedom

Please read the Forum Guidelines to ensure you're aware of the terms to participate and share.

And let us know if you would like to have your name as username, that's simply because we all use our real names here - though it's cool if you're comfortable with this nickname for now.


Cool you're here and thanks for sharing, you might be able to give some cool practical tips for food production for everyone that is growing their own food, including the farm.

[Ann]

Welcome from me as well!:)

Really cool you've decided to open these points up to yourself, face them and stop them. So feel free to ask questions and share yourself here.
It is never too late for you, your alive so that means you have the opportunity to direct yourself and change, no matter if your 20 40 or 80. I knew a person some years ago, he did everything for other people, helping them and such. But he never helped himself. He focused so much on others, but did not help himself . He talked to others who wanted to commit suicide, telling them not to do it, giving advice. But he never followed his own advice. He ended up commiting suicide himself...

I am also growing some vegetables and fruits in the garden, it has been going well each year. We also don't use pesticides. But a small vegetables garden is much easier than a big ochard or field.

[kim amourette]

Hey Livingfree,

welcome to the forum, enjoy the process!

Kim

[Cathy]

I chose livingfree as my username because that's what i want to be....living free!!

You've come to the most appropriate place if you're willing to get real with yourself and your words suggest you're walking yourself toward the point. None of us are or will actually be 'living free' - until All are living free and that's going to take some walking. When I first came to Desteni, I didn't use my real name either yet, I also wanted to begin living free so, lol, the damnedest thing was, once I committed myself to me as who I am and started using/living my real name on the internet, (after all, in our day to day lives we use our real name) I saw how it actually assisted me to begin to stand and take self-responsibility and accountability. Something to consider...
Cool you're here - Enjoy

[Denise]

my real name is Denise. I need to share why I didn't put my real name here.

And it begins with self-forgivness:
I wanted to hide my identity because I didn't want the "wrong" people to read this. In reality: who cares...
I have bs-ed myself into believing things and it's time to not do that.
I have so much to say but don't know where to begin here. In the past I could share those tragedies I referred to earlier as if they were a bag of potato chips sharing with friends or others but know now that it was a system within myself I created as victim. I would repeat over and over what happened so as to explain why I was the way I am. That's not me.
I forgive myself for not being true to self or to others.
I will write on the thread that was suggested...just don't know where to begin.

[Cathy]

The best thing is to just breathe and begin here in this moment writing whatever is going on within you as you've just shared. The more you write and share and apply self-forgiveness, the easier and relaxed you'll be.
Cool beginnings - Thanks for sharing and I changed your user name to Denise

[Marlen]

Hey Denise, I've merged this topic as it is still within the context of clarifying your name.


And in terms of not knowing where to begin:2011: WHERE do I START with Self Forgiveness?

[Bella]

cool to see you here Denise! Welcome and Enjoy!

[Leila]

Hi Denise and welcome to the forum!