Day 4: I Was Willing to Give Up My Career/My Life for LOVEhttp://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-4-i-was-willing-to-give-up-my.html
The guy I use to be in a relationship was set with what he was going to do with his life. He had a set career and already had an idea of the house he wanted to live in for the rest of his life.
As for me, I had plans to move out of state and go back to school to work in education. Yet there came a time during the relationship when I was willing to give up my future plans and career to be with him because I realized he was not going to move and change his plans.
Because of this, I was willing to give up my ‘life’ for him. I compromised myself and my future plans because “I loved him.” And yet, self honestly, I really wasn’t ‘in love’ with him because the reasons why I was with him was the following:
1) I was with him because I didn’t want to be alone
2) So I could be a part of someone/something and call them my own
3) I was doubtful that I wouldn’t be able to find another relationship if we were to break up, so I compromised myself by thinking: “I should just stay with him.”
4) He already had a well paying job so if I were to continue being with him and marry him I would have financial support.
These are reasons as to why I continued being with him, even when abuse in the relationship existed. I allowed myself to compromise myself to such an extent I stopped speaking up formyself and began doing things that I didn’t want to do. And I accepted and allowed all of this in the name of LOVE.
So…then is LOVE just a bunch of energetic feelings that BLINDS and DISTRACTS us from seeing common sense and abuse?
Many women actually do give up their future plans/careers in the name of LOVE. Some women do it because they are addicted to the relationship because they are so dependent on their partner they are not sure how to function without them. Others fear being alone (like how I was). Or if a woman knows she will be financially secure from a man that ensures survival, she will continue being with him albeit abuse that exists in the relationship.
So if women are willing to compromise who they and their lives to be with a man in the ‘name of love’ then LOVE that currently exists in this world is ABUSE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself as abuse by staying with my partner in the relationship because I didn't want to be alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist being without my partner because I fear being alone with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being without my partner because I fear taking care of myself independently, both mentally and financially.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a relationship with my partner because I desire to be a part of something – being a part in a relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in my relationship with my partner by seeing it as more than me in separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of my partner as my personal possession, by calling him “my own.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a part of something in a relationship, believing that I require something outside of myself to complete me and make me feel whole. Who I am as Life does not need any sort of relationship to fulfill/complete me.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to create an effective, supportive agreement with myself, as self-love and self-nourishment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by compromising myself in the relationship because of doubt that I won’t be able to find a better partner if I were to walk away from the relationship. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this doubt to hold me back from actually letting go of the relationship and explore myself and other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I should just stay with my partner because I am not sure if I am going to find another partner if I break up with him.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself by thinking that I should just stay with my partner instead of realizing that I am only allowing myself to stay in the abusive relationship because I am afraid of what will happen if I am not with him anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself by staying in the relationship because my partner takes care of me financially.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I won’t be able to take care of myself financially if I am not with my partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking care of myself, as self acceptance and self-love, as I do not understand what that actually is yet.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and my voice to such an extent that I fear speaking up and expressing myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting rejected by my partner and from that, suppressed my voice.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things that I did not want to do with my partner, but did them because I wanted to please them.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand up for myself as self support by not accepting and allowing myself to participate in abuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within abuse in the relationship with my partner because of LOVE – which is not real as one can see that love does not exist in this world at all, but only in the minds of those who participate in the energetic illusions blinding them from reality and common sense. The world is not full of love and the world is not beautiful because of the inequality and atrocities that exist in this world. How can someone actually claim that love is real when we allow children to starve in this world? Where is the love in that? If love was real it would be shown physically and equally with everyone and an Equal Money System is that which is REAL LOVE as is a system of giving what you would like to receive as Life.
Self Commitment Statements:
I commit myself to stop the abusive patterns of self compromise by investigating where I am compromising myself and in my relationships in my world and utilize the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective statements/commitments to stop the patterns of self compromise and walk/re-align myself to practical living that is best for me/all.
I commit myself to educate myself on how to become an effective, supportive being in a relationship with myself and others.
I commit myself to develop and establish a supportive relationship with myself as self-love and self-nourishment.
I commit myself to write/speak/blog about the abuse existent within this world in regards to compromising self in relationships, and provide support on how one can stop change and walk away from abusive relationships.
One is able to have an effective, supportive relationship with another if the people in the relationship AGREE to be equals with each other and establish an agreement that best support the relationship and beings involved. The Desteni I Process Relationship Agreement Course is available to those who would like to educate themselves on living a supportive relationship agreement. There is also FREE SUPPORT on relationships on the Desteni.org forums.
Please be aware that I’m not saying give up your relationship with your partner immediately– but investigate for yourself and look at the starting point as to WHY you are with your partner and see if you are compromising yourself and not living a life that supports you to live a life best for yourself that is best for all.
It may be difficult to self honestly look at the relationship you have with your partner and see that it really isn’t supporting you, as many do not want to admit that they are dependent on their partner for outside reasons such as money or social obligation or simply fear of being alone/having no one else to be with. So I suggest you take the opportunity to do this for you, as SELF-LOVE, to stop abuse and compromise in enslaving yourself in a relationship because it’s not what is best for you. Living our lives in compromise is unnecessary as that only brings forth more abuse and dissatisfaction in our lives.
So definitely check out Desteni.org as well as the DesteniIProcess.com website for information on how to support you to live in effective relationships.