Michelle's Journey to Life

[Michelle]

Day 1: Stopping Depression - Part I
http://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-1-stopping-depression-part-i.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become one and equal to depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb to depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a slave to depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am incapable of stopping depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that depression has power over me and because of that I cannot stop it.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am able to stop depression by making the decision to stop and no longer accept and allow myself to exist in depression.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the decision in stopping depression has to be ABSOLUTE because I realize I am the only one in my world who is able to stop the depression because I allow it to exist within me.

From this, I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that breathing and writing are tools of support in stopping depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into conflict with myself as depression instead of standing one and equal as the depression and directing myself to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that sleep will stop my depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself in sleeping because I believe that sleep will help my depression go away, instead I realize that sleeping actually fuels depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide depression through sleeping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive depression as a ‘cry for help’. I realize that this ‘cry for help’ is me giving up on myself and seeking a point of salvation from someone to save me from the depression, instead stopping the depression myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that this point of ‘crying out for help’ and looking for a point of salvation is connected to religion in how I had in my life depended on religious figures and angels to save me from the conflict and turmoil within. I see here that not even an angel can save me from the conflict within, because if they could, the conflict would have been stopped now and the world would be a very different place.

So I understand within this that I am the only one in my life who is actually able to stop the depression and conflict within – and to do so, I stop myself through supporting myself in breathing, writing out my patterns of conflict, and forgiving myself and script myself a correction so when I face the point of depression/conflict again, I know how to direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that this cry for help is me abdicating my responsibility towards myself through the belief that I cannot stop the depression and it has too much of a hold on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that depression has too much of a hold on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel chained to my depression --chained in that I cannot break free. Instead I realize that I have created and used depression as an excuse to not change.

Change. I see here that depression is connected to resistance to change...

(From this point on -- two memories have come up in relation to depression that will be walked in the next blog posts to come…)

Self Corrective Statements:

I commit myself to stop depression through supporting myself in breathing, writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, and self corrective statements to release myself from the chains that hold me down from actually changing myself into a being that is best for all life.

I commit myself to utlize self-will and self-power to stop depression.

I find hobbies/activities that assist and support me in participating here in the physical reality so that I do not delve into depression.

I commit myself to write out one pattern every day that does not serve me or anyone else in this world for the next 7 years and use the tools of support to stop abusive patterns that in no way support life.

I commit myself to find solutions that will stop patterns that do not serve me or anyone else in this world and walk myself as the solution as practically as I can.

[Maite]

Cool Michelle!

[Michelle]

Thanks Maite

Day 2: Manipulating Myself to Go Back to Sleep
http://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-2-manipulating-myself-to-go-back-to.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “Oh I have time to sleep in, so let me go back to bed.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value and attention to the thought “Oh I have time to sleep in, so let me go back to bed,” instead of seeing that I am manipulating myself to go back to bed and postpone facing what I must do within the morning.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider the priorities and tasks that I had planned for myself to do this morning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act upon the thought "Oh I have time to sleep in, so let me go back to bed" by going back to bed, thus enslaving me to my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought “Oh I have time to sleep in, so let me go back to bed” to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the thought “Oh I have time to sleep in, so let me go back to bed.”

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the thought “Oh I have time to sleep in so let me go back to bed” was my ego seeking to hide itself from facing the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from facing the day and doing what needed to be done by manipulating myself to go back to sleep because of the thought "Oh I have time to sleep in, so let me go back to bed."

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is no point in hiding myself through sleep from facing my day because I am going to have to face my day anyways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone myself from facing my day by over-sleeping.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that fear facing my day is the fear of facing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I were to sleep in, I will not have to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to wake up immediately with breath and simply do what I must get done within the morning.

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself wake up in the morning and a thought comes up about going back to bed, I STOP, I BREATHE, and do not allow myself to act upon this thought. I assist and support myself to get up and breathe and do what is required to get done in the morning before I go to work/start my day. I realize that the thought of going back to bed is my ego manipulating me because it does not want to face the day as itself. I realize that I am going to have to face myself and my day anyway– so there is no point in over-sleeping and postponing myself because it does not support me or my body at all.

Self Commitment Statements:
I commit myself to assist and support myself to investigate and write about the thoughts and triggers that are connected to the anxieties and fears of waking up and facing my day, and utilize the tools of self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective application so that I am able to wake up clear and direct myself as what is best for all.

[Michelle]

Day 3: Gossip
http://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-3-gossip.html

My sister’s friend came over to drop off his stuff for a party that will be happening. When he left I made a remark about him to my mother, and realized I was gossiping about him and became very uncomfortable. I did not like what I was doing. Gossiping does not support anyone in this world, and actually results in conflict and separation from ourselves as others. I did not consider putting myself in the shoes of the person I was gossiping about and see that what I was doing was not cool. So I found the pattern I participated in as unacceptable and not what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another by speaking about them in gossip, instead of realizing that I am one and equal to them, and that they are me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself and the person by speaking about them in separation of myself in self interest as ego without the consideration of placing myself in the shoes of who I gossiped about. I realize that if I were to place my shoes in the person I was gossiping about I would not like it.

From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through believing I am superior to them, think that I have permission and ‘the right’ to talk about them in such a way that I do not have to consider the consequences of my words - the consequences being that which I accept and allow to exist within me, I am accepting and allowing to exist in others and in this world, and so, by allowing myself to gossip, I am allowing others to gossip about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak gossip as verbal diarrhea, words that are do not support/bringing forth a world best for all, but actually are words of shit that talk shit about others that support shit in this world.


Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself gossip or about to gossip about others, I STOP, I breathe and walk away/do not participation in the conversation because I realize that this is not who I am and would not like to be. I realize that gossiping does not support me or anyone in this world as it only breeds separation and conflict and does not support bringing forth a world best for all.


Self Commitment Statement:

I commit myself to investigate patterns based in superiority/inferiority existent within myself/my world and support myself in writing out the pattern and utilize self forgiveness and corrective statements to script a new program to walk and apply for myself that is best for all.


I commit myself to stop the abusive form of gossip by not participating in it and stopping myself when I see I am participating in it.

[Michelle]

Day 4: I Was Willing to Give Up My Career/My Life for LOVE
http://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-4-i-was-willing-to-give-up-my.html

The guy I use to be in a relationship was set with what he was going to do with his life. He had a set career and already had an idea of the house he wanted to live in for the rest of his life.

As for me, I had plans to move out of state and go back to school to work in education. Yet there came a time during the relationship when I was willing to give up my future plans and career to be with him because I realized he was not going to move and change his plans.


Because of this, I was willing to give up my ‘life’ for him. I compromised myself and my future plans because “I loved him.” And yet, self honestly, I really wasn’t ‘in love’ with him because the reasons why I was with him was the following:

1) I was with him because I didn’t want to be alone

2) So I could be a part of someone/something and call them my own

3) I was doubtful that I wouldn’t be able to find another relationship if we were to break up, so I compromised myself by thinking: “I should just stay with him.”

4) He already had a well paying job so if I were to continue being with him and marry him I would have financial support.

These are reasons as to why I continued being with him, even when abuse in the relationship existed. I allowed myself to compromise myself to such an extent I stopped speaking up formyself and began doing things that I didn’t want to do. And I accepted and allowed all of this in the name of LOVE.

So…then is LOVE just a bunch of energetic feelings that BLINDS and DISTRACTS us from seeing common sense and abuse?

Many women actually do give up their future plans/careers in the name of LOVE. Some women do it because they are addicted to the relationship because they are so dependent on their partner they are not sure how to function without them. Others fear being alone (like how I was). Or if a woman knows she will be financially secure from a man that ensures survival, she will continue being with him albeit abuse that exists in the relationship.

So if women are willing to compromise who they and their lives to be with a man in the ‘name of love’ then LOVE that currently exists in this world is ABUSE.


Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself as abuse by staying with my partner in the relationship because I didn't want to be alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist being without my partner because I fear being alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being without my partner because I fear taking care of myself independently, both mentally and financially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to being alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a relationship with my partner because I desire to be a part of something – being a part in a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in my relationship with my partner by seeing it as more than me in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of my partner as my personal possession, by calling him “my own.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a part of something in a relationship, believing that I require something outside of myself to complete me and make me feel whole. Who I am as Life does not need any sort of relationship to fulfill/complete me.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to create an effective, supportive agreement with myself, as self-love and self-nourishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by compromising myself in the relationship because of doubt that I won’t be able to find a better partner if I were to walk away from the relationship. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this doubt to hold me back from actually letting go of the relationship and explore myself and other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I should just stay with my partner because I am not sure if I am going to find another partner if I break up with him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself by thinking that I should just stay with my partner instead of realizing that I am only allowing myself to stay in the abusive relationship because I am afraid of what will happen if I am not with him anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself by staying in the relationship because my partner takes care of me financially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I won’t be able to take care of myself financially if I am not with my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking care of myself, as self acceptance and self-love, as I do not understand what that actually is yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and my voice to such an extent that I fear speaking up and expressing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting rejected by my partner and from that, suppressed my voice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things that I did not want to do with my partner, but did them because I wanted to please them.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand up for myself as self support by not accepting and allowing myself to participate in abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within abuse in the relationship with my partner because of LOVE – which is not real as one can see that love does not exist in this world at all, but only in the minds of those who participate in the energetic illusions blinding them from reality and common sense. The world is not full of love and the world is not beautiful because of the inequality and atrocities that exist in this world. How can someone actually claim that love is real when we allow children to starve in this world? Where is the love in that? If love was real it would be shown physically and equally with everyone and an Equal Money System is that which is REAL LOVE as is a system of giving what you would like to receive as Life.

Self Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to stop the abusive patterns of self compromise by investigating where I am compromising myself and in my relationships in my world and utilize the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective statements/commitments to stop the patterns of self compromise and walk/re-align myself to practical living that is best for me/all.

I commit myself to educate myself on how to become an effective, supportive being in a relationship with myself and others.

I commit myself to develop and establish a supportive relationship with myself as self-love and self-nourishment.

I commit myself to write/speak/blog about the abuse existent within this world in regards to compromising self in relationships, and provide support on how one can stop change and walk away from abusive relationships.


One is able to have an effective, supportive relationship with another if the people in the relationship AGREE to be equals with each other and establish an agreement that best support the relationship and beings involved. The Desteni I Process Relationship Agreement Course is available to those who would like to educate themselves on living a supportive relationship agreement. There is also FREE SUPPORT on relationships on the Desteni.org forums.


Please be aware that I’m not saying give up your relationship with your partner immediately– but investigate for yourself and look at the starting point as to WHY you are with your partner and see if you are compromising yourself and not living a life that supports you to live a life best for yourself that is best for all.

It may be difficult to self honestly look at the relationship you have with your partner and see that it really isn’t supporting you, as many do not want to admit that they are dependent on their partner for outside reasons such as money or social obligation or simply fear of being alone/having no one else to be with. So I suggest you take the opportunity to do this for you, as SELF-LOVE, to stop abuse and compromise in enslaving yourself in a relationship because it’s not what is best for you. Living our lives in compromise is unnecessary as that only brings forth more abuse and dissatisfaction in our lives.

So definitely check out Desteni.org as well as the DesteniIProcess.com website for information on how to support you to live in effective relationships.

[Michelle]

Day 5: Judgment on Writings
http://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-5-judgment-on-writings.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my writings as not being good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate back chat of thinking that my writings are not good enough and then from this participation, manifest stress within my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into judgment that my writings are not good enough, instead of stopping the participation of judgement and thoughts and investigate for myself the back chat in relation to this judgement and letting it go through self forgiveness and self corrective statements.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted an allowed myself to simply write about what I am experiencing inside of myself right now as self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of stress within me in regards to writing out a ‘good point’ by thinking I have to write a good point, not seeing that I already judged my writings as bad, thus trapping myself in polarity not seeing that I am cycling in my mind and not doing anything about it.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for myself and the judgements I have of myself.

From this, I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that a part of process is to stop participating in the mind – lol – so I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that stopping judgments through stopping my participation of them is part of walking process.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to breathe and allow myself the opportunity to write about what I am currently experiencing in myself as a point to develop self trust as i realize that i am writing and walking process for me, as me, as I am the only one who can write and walk for me.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to express myself in my writings self honestly. And I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to forgive all judgments within me in regards to writing.

When and as I see myself go into judgement/reaction towards my writings by thinking that they are not good enough, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in the judgment and reaction any longer. I look into what it is I am reacting about and assist and support myself to clear the point through self forgiveness so that I can see what the origin/backchat of this judgement is. I realize that judgement does not support me or anyone else for the matter because so I assist and support myself to let go of all judgement as I realize judgement is a system I accepted and allowed myself to exist in.

I commit myself to through self forgiveness, release myself of all judgments I have of myself and my writings so that I am clear and am no longer directed by thoughts and judgments.

[Leila]

Lol -- cool insights Michelle

[Rozelle de Lange]

Cool Michelle!

[Michelle]

Day 6: Frustrations
http://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-6-frustrations.html

This morning I experienced frustration and anxiety working on a word definition with my DIP buddy. I thought to myself my buddy must be impatient and angry with me – but she really wasn't – she was quite stable and clear… it was me who was being impatient and angry with myself – because I wasn't understanding the material and I wasn’t slowing down and actually working on the point. I saw that I wanted to get it over with – I wanted to have a definition – I wanted me to know exactly what the word is – and the thing is is that my buddy cannot tell me what MY OWN self honest re-definition of the word is – she can only assist and support me to see and check/test for myself --- because its up to me to redefine the word to my current understanding of what it is as a living expression of itself in self honesty.

Frustration & Anger within myself:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated in myself working on re-defining a word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated within myself because re-defining a word into a word best for all is new for me and because this is new to me, I allowed myself to go into frustration.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I have connected learning new things, such as re-defining words, to it being frustrating because it's not immediate and it requires dedication and practice to re-define words until it becomes natural. It is just like riding a bike – you practice, you fall, but you get back up and try again until riding a bike becomes natural and easy. I see and realize that what is required of me here is to continue writing and practicing re-defining words so that it becomes easier for me and I am able to live the words practically in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at myself because I was not slowing myself down, and breathing during the chat with my buddy.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to breathe and clear myself of emotions with self forgiveness so that I participate in the chat clear and not directed by emotions.

Self Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself go into frustration when I am re-defining a word I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in any frustration as I realize this new to me and like a new skill, it takes time and practice to develop and perfect it so I just breathe and relax and work with what is here and walk the guidelines that is presented to me through Desteni/DIP and Earth's Journey to Life to re-define words.

When and as I see myself go into chat with my buddy with emotions, I stop, I breathe and do not allow myself to participate in emotions and do not allow myself to become directed through emotions because if I do, then I am unable to see/understand clearly what is in front of me and what is going on. So, I assist myself to clear myself before and/or during chat with self forgiveness so I do not participate in emotions that will derail me from understanding what is being communicated about, as it does not support me or my buddy as much will not get done if I am not seeing straight.


Anxiety because I was not understanding it:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in back chat about not understanding how to redefine the word instead of stopping my back chat by not participating in it and stopping the voices through self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety within myself because redefining words were not coming so easily to me, and because they were not coming so easily to me, I accessed anxiety. Because I accessed anxiety, it became even more difficult for me to understand what my buddy was explaining to me.
(2 memories came up in relation to this point that will be walked in Day 7)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the process of understanding redefining words difficult for myself because I allowed myself to continue participating in thoughts of self doubt that I am unable to understand how to do this (redefining words). From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anxiety to become the director of how I experience myself while chatting with my buddy about re-defining a word. I see, realize and understand that I am able to stop this anxiety within myself by stopping participation in thoughts and beliefs by letting go of the thoughts and beliefs through self forgiveness, self honesty, self corrective application, breathing and seeing what is being presented to me with no thinking required.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to slow myself down and stop participating in my mind within thoughts in relation to re-defining words, as I realize that the only way I am able to understand how to redefine words is to slow myself down and integrate the words as myself because if I rush through the process I will miss points and will have to redo mistakes.

Self Corrective Statement:
When and as I see myself go into anxiety while working on re-defining a word with or without my buddy, I stop, I breathe and do not allow myself to participate in anxiety as I realize that I am not clear and stable and one must be clear and stable to re-define a word or it will be defined in polarity. So - I assist myself to bring myself back here and breathe deep and slow myself down nd to stabilize myself to work with the word I am re-defining.


Impatience:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my buddy must be getting impatient with me because I am not understanding the material as clearly as I should, instead of realizing that I am projecting my own impatience on myself to my buddy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become impatient with myself while working on re-defining a word because I wanted to red-define the word as fast as I can to get it over with, instead of realizing that if my starting point is based in wanting to get it over with, then my starting point is based in self-interest and is dishonest and that I do not yet see/understand the point of process being that I stand and live in words that is best for all. I realize that my starting point ALWAYS must be cleared so that it is grounded in what is best for all life, because if I allow myself to continue re-defining words to 'get it over with' and not actually practically live my re-definitions, then I am just sabotaging myself and process - SO, I stop this and I assist myself in making sure that I stop sabotaging myself and support myself to always place self honesty first and if I see I am having a problem with this- I support myself to find the required assistance I need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to complete the word as fast as I can to get it over with – and from that – manifest impatience. From this, I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I wanted to get redefining the word over with and defined already is because I did not want to go through the process of releasing myself of all the knowledge and information I had of the word because that means I have to get out of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I require to use my mind of knowledge and information and think a lot about how to redefine the word to come up with a word, instead realizing that I cannot redefine a word from the pre-programed knowledge and information in my mind because then the words will be in polarity and will manifest and create consequences in polarity, which is not best for anyone.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I must discover and re-define the words for myself through my own understanding of self-honesty and I cannot allow my DIP buddy to re-define it for me. This is a process of self honesty for me to walk through; no one else can walk it for me.

Self Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself wanting to get re-defining the word 'over with' and from that, manifest impatience, I stop, I breathe and do not allow myself to continue participating in thoughts of wanting to get it over with and the experience of being impatient as I realize that through being impatient, I am not being self-honest in my walking of the word through the understanding that re-defining words is a process of letting go of attachments/connections of a word from pre-programmed knowledge and information and create a new word that is best for everyone to live by. So I assist and support myself to bring myself back to as breath and stop sabotaging myself and process by clearing my starting point so that it is based in self honesty and if I see I am having any problem with this point, I contact and find the required assistance.


I commit myself to be patient and gentle with myself through working on re-defining words in the understanding that it will take practice and time to become comfortable and natural because redefining words is a process to walk through.

[Michelle]

Day 7: Self Change - Stop The Waiting
http://atravelersjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/06/day-7-self-change-stop-waiting.html

I understand what is required to get done: commitment to myself to support myself through writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, common sense to walk an actual, practical process of self change. There is no point in waiting for change, as I realize I am the only one who is able to actually change me in this process. NO one can do this for me.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for something to happen to me to walk my process of self change instead of starting NOW within the realization that no one can walk/change me for me and because of this waiting is unnecessary – so I take this opportunity now to assert myself to walk self change through using the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application and that if any problems arise within me in relation to this commitment, I direct myself to sort myself out from this problem and re-mind myself of what it is I am doing as self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I can ignore and leave behind a point/pattern in process instead of realizing that this is ignorance of me not wanting to look and take responsibility for a point that I do not want to be responsible for. I realize that every point I have separated myself from I am to take responsibility for because it's me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for something to happen in my process that will force me to change through hoping something outside of me as an external factor will motivate me to change – and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on something outside of me to change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that everything is going to be ok, which is me giving myself false hope about myself and the future of this world instead of realizing that this world is not ok and what we as humanity are doing to each other and the world is not ok and unless we stop what we are accepting and allowing as abuse and stand up and change, this world will continue to be as is, and will only get worse. Which is why it is critical I must walk process because I realize that nothing will change unless I change and support/walk with the group that is here to bring forth a world best for all.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider the priorities in my daily life that requires direction and commitment to get done. I see, realize and understand that there is no point wasting time on unnecessary entertainment/things that I know does not support me and does not bring actual enjoyment.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to develop self trust within myself within the understanding that I am able to walk this process of self change through applying the tools available for me for self change: self forgiveness, self honesty, breath as my anchor, writing, common sense, the Desteni community, DIP and my buddy to assist and support me through this process of self change.

I forgive myself that I have NOT realized that this process of self change is what is BEST FOR ME, in relation to what is best for ALL and that the ego/mind will make it difficult for me to change because it realizes that it is to be let go of and the systems will not be charged anymore from me stopping participation.


Self Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to - through the understanding that only I can walk this process of self change as me -support myself by developing self trust and self love through writing, self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective application on a constant, consistent basis.

I commit myself to - when and as I see a pattern within me that requires direction because it does not serve me/is unacceptable to exist in, I write out exactly what it is straight and direct with no hiding/self dishonesty or fear as I understand that I am only sabotaging my self trust and self intimacy if I am trying to 'beat around the bush' and bullshit myself by not writing exactly what the point is in brutal/direct self honesty.

I commit myself to stop waiting for change within the realization I am the only one who is able to change for me - it's just a matter of DOING it/BECOMING the change- so I assist myself to stop the waiting and re-affirm my decision, commitment and understanding that this process of self change I am walking is SUPPORTING ME and is BEST FOR ME/Which is best for all and assist myself through writing, self forgiveness and corrective application to walk practical change.