Blank Mind: What is your personal best?

[Luka]

For how long did you manage to keep your mind completely silent (no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions) and being aware only in breathing (not missing every single breath)? What is your personal best?

[KimKline]

Hi Luka,

For how long did you manage to keep your mind completely silent (no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions) and being aware only in breathing (not missing every single breath)? What is your personal best?

From my experience, with regards to your question, it's not about acheiving absolute silence at this point. It's about being aware of your breath and not participating in the thoughts, backchat, mind babble. Within this, we begin to develop the ability to look internally in self-honesty at those things that are influencing us, and taking them apart to see how we created it, and forgiving it- which will, eventually, over time, assist and support ourselves to be/become aware of each breath. Whether another is able to remain within and as breath for a minute, an hour, a day etc... is irrelevent, because each is in their own process, and it's not about comparing or determining 'where you're at' by looking to see where others are within their own process, but rather to support yourself as you are able to in the moment. So, I would suggest looking at your starting point within asking this question, wether it's comparison, or what you define as 'silencing the mind,' and 'being aware of only breathing.'

There's a cool video about this called Mind-Thinking vs. Self-Looking (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywmv9gFP8B0), which is about using the mind as a tool of self-support as we begin to stand equal to and one with it. Within this process, as we establish a self-equality by, over time, taking absolute self-responsibility for everything we have accepted and allowed, how we have separated ourselves from Here into and as the mind, and how we have programmed ourselves so extensively into and as patterns and habits etc... we are becoming/making the decision in every moment to become- the living statement of equality and oneness in each breath, which can then be integrated into and as actual physical living.

If you are just trying to 'silence the mind' without taking absolute self-responsibility for it, then you'll only end up supressing the thoughts, or ignoring them- wherein they will only come up again at a later point. So, it's to be patient and take it slow and work through it one step at a time, point by point as you accumulate a 'self' that you can stand with/as. Absolute silence, at this point, will not be supportive to self, because we still have to be diligent about who we are in this world, and how we walk through our day. Every moment and every step can sometimes seem like we are being 'bombarded' with things and events, and we need to see who we are within each moment, and make the decision of who and how we're going to be as we establish a new starting point.

I would really recomend watching the "Mind-Thinking vs. Self-Looking" (above), because it explains a brief overview of what will happen to the mind as we transform with it, as it, through consistently applying ourselves over time. It gives practical exmples of the difference between the 'noise' within our minds, and the application of 'self-looking' which is a tool of self-support that does not generate energy but rather assists and supports us to walk through our worlds with our physical body and with breath, instead of lost within our mind.

Other videos :

Becoming Aware of the Mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0uel7s7DcA

Experiencing Change vs. Actual Self-Change
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgu8N6nA ... re=related

So, within the desire or projection or ideal of 'silencing the mind completely,' I would suggest to bring yourself back Here within breath, and taking it moment by moment with your writing self-forgiveness, self-honesty, and self-corrective application. One step at a time, as becoming aware of each breath is your own personal process.

[Cathy]

Cool support Kim!

[Maya]

For how long did you manage to keep your mind completely silent (no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions) and being aware only in breathing (not missing every single breath)? What is your personal best?

Cool support Kim.

I would also suggest to look at the starting point of asking such a question and what is really behind the question. meaning, how is it in any way relevant for one's process, knowing how much time one "successfully" didn't miss a breath? what Value does it has if eventually one missed a breath and thus, had to start one's process all over again. I mean, if one didn't miss a breath for X amount of time and then one fall into backchat again, the starting point wasn't clear from the get go because when a decision is being done, it is done and yet, missing a breath indicate that the decision wasn't absolute.
So i suggest to not keep scores because it has no value whatsoever and instead, focus on walking breath by breath within a process of stopping pattern by pattern until it is done.

[Luka]

Ok, I understand. Thanks for the support.

I have some further questions: Yesterday I had some special happening for the sake of my mind. I got pulled in some "state of vacuum" spontaneously. It was like a state of shock, coming in waves. I got connected to presence by force and it was a very strong experience. I had this feeling that I could actually SEE the thoughts for a moment, and it was more like unfinished thoughts/thought fragments. And at the same time the fears (from the subcounscious, I guess) arose: the fear of no thoughts, the fear of nervous breakdown, the fear of nothingness, the fear of death because of no mind, the fear of no turning back. I then managed to come out of these states by ocupying my mind with mental activity, which was blogging.

Please tell me what is your explanation/interpretation of this "event"?

[KimKline]

Ok, I understand. Thanks for the support.

I have some further questions: Yesterday I had some special happening for the sake of my mind. I got pulled in some "state of vacuum" spontaneously. It was like a state of shock, coming in waves. I got connected to presence by force and it was a very strong experience. I had this feeling that I could actually SEE the thoughts for a moment, and it was more like unfinished thoughts/thought fragments. And at the same time the fears (from the subcounscious, I guess) arose: the fear of no thoughts, the fear of nervous breakdown, the fear of nothingness, the fear of death because of no mind, the fear of no turning back. I then managed to come out of these states by ocupying my mind with mental activity, which was blogging.

Please tell me what is your explanation/interpretation of this "event"?

The process we are walking is towards 'nothingness'- thus, no 'special' experiences, or 'states' of mind such as the experience of a vacuum, nor presence, fears or picture/images. So, what you descride definitely appears to be a mind experience, because, you describe what you went through as a 'very strong experience,' and an 'experience' is an energetic manifestation of the mind as you as the mind experience a relationship to/towards the energy you also create within you- and thus is not actually REAL, but rather an entire self-created manifestation within you experienced by nobody but you.

If I place myself in your shoes, I would 'interpret' that ("that" being: fear of nervous breakdown, fear of nothingness, fear of death, fear of no turning back) as something really cool, because it could be your mind/ego fearing its own end (which is the goal). The fear in this case, from what I understand, is manifested by you as the mind to prevent you from realizing that who you really are is not in fact of energy (ego, fears, experiences, etc...), as a way to scare you away from continuing your process towards self-realization.

I remember points in my process, where I all of a sudden realize that I AM commited, and that I WILL continue this process no matter what, I would get this terrifying feeling like I was being backed into a corner. This is the experience I had that I'm relating to your experience of fear, and within and through this experience I realized that I in fact AM backing myself in to a corner- by taking steps towards taking complete self-responsibility and stopping my acceptance and allowance of my mind running loose, doing whatever it wants. It's like threatening to take a drug away from an addict- the addict will most likely freak out- which it sounds like what you experienced within your mind- as you stop feeding it energetically through stopping your participation in energy and instead taking self-responsibility.

So, in a way- it could be regarded as cool feedback that you're taking steps in the right direction, because your mind wants continued energy and experiences, and if your stopping your participation within those, you as your mind may react. Also- really cool practical application with directing yourself out of the experience through doing somehthing practical as blogging- putting yourself on paper in the physical so that you can expose and see what it is that you're actually accepting and allowing to go on 'up there' in the mind, to enable yourself to take a good, self-honest look at it.

It would be cool if you posted what you wrote to pull yourself out of the experience, if you're comfortable with posting it? It could be really helpful for others (including myself!) to see how you handled yourself within and through this experience, and what processes you went through.

With regards to your comment:

I had this feeling that I could actually SEE the thoughts for a moment

-I've also experienced a very 'vivid' nature with/as my thoughts- which I'm relating to your experience of 'seeing' your thoughts. I experienced something similar right before I had a pinick attack and a few times right before a migrane. Now when I experience myself as my thoughts in this such way, I use it as a 'red flag' that I have accepted and allowed myself to go too far into the mind, and I use the tool of breath to walk through the experience of the vivid nature of thoughts in order to lessen the consequences- because the experience ALWAYS ends, and then I'm back to a more 'normal' calm state. So, the whole experience is unecessary, and even though it may seem big and scary and real at the time- it alwas goes away. So, I use that knowledge practically to walk myself through the experience and give myself time and space to breathe, because it seems harder to focus on breath, breathe naturally/rhythmically in those moments, so sometimes extra application- such as changing environments, being alone/quiet, (or blogging, as you did) etc... is supportive to pull self out of the mind and back into physical reality.

In terms of the nature of the thoughts/thought fragments/unfinished thoughts, I would suggest watchng (if you haven't already watched) this video by Sunette called 'Why are my Thoughts so Evil' which explains what you describe in your post. Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GflJOvK_dE

[Cathy]

Cool support Kim

Hey Luka - In addition to what Kim wrote, and after having read your blog - it sounds like what I've referred to as an anxiety attack when I've experienced similar.

Suggest reading Leila's blogs - with regards to anxiety.
Day 11: Anxiety and Me - Part 1

Day 12: Anxiety and Me - Part 2