Johnathan's Blogs

[Johnathan]

Hello, I want to blog for sponsorship. I feel like I am not ready to do this but I am going to anyway. I enjoy vlogging more than writing but I will do whatever it takes to learn more.

This is the link to my blog

http://johnathanexposed.blogspot.com/

Thanks,

Johnathan

[Maya]

Cool Johnathan for pushing the point of writing!

[Johnathan]

Should I be posting all my writings here? I use the members blogs, vlogs, and writing your self to freedom. My blogs and writings are the same writings.I haven't been posting things here tho. Should I be posting here as well in order to have a chance for sponsorship? Any suggestions? Wanna make sure I am not missing something and that I am doing everything necessary to have a chance for sponsorship.

Thanks,

Johnathan

[Lindsay]

Hi Johnathan -

To be clear on the requirements for sponsorship consideration, please read:

Sponsorship Guidelines

You don't necessary have to copy-paste the entire writing you've done elsewhere into this thread - you can simply place the link to either your blog-post or the link to your 'writing yourself to freedom' post.

There is a Sponsorship Committee that goes through each person's thread here when the time comes from the next 'sponsorship round' making sure the points explained in the Sponsorship Guidelines are placed and that the individual is supporting themselves in writing/vlogging/walking their process effectively.

If those points are aligned, then one should have no problem getting sponsored.

Cheers!

[Johnathan]

cool! I was wondering about how I should be posting things. Thanks for making this clear to me.

[Johnathan]

http://johnathanexposed.blogspot.com/2011/08/school.html

All I can say is shit! Things are not going well. I still don't know how to explain what is going on in my head. I still haven't turned in my schedule to my trumpet teacher because I know he will ask me why it took me so long to turn it in and say shit. He has said to me in the past, "How old are you?" I answered, "24" (now 25 though) He responded, "and you still haven't finished your undergrad"? That is bullshit. I cannot be myself anymore around him. We are already on thin ice it seems (this might just be a delusion in my mind though). He kept sending us the music he was playing in church this summer with notes about the song (how it relates to the song, obviously a biblical meaning, making it clear that he is religious). The funny thing is that when I was a freshman in school he said, "I won't talk about religious things because you don't know who you are going to offend." I asked a friend of mine if he remembered him saying this, and he said yes. Eventually I asked him politely on FB if he would stop sending me that stuff. I said "Would you please stop sending me the music and bible message emails"?. He said "sorry" I replied, "It is ok, it is just not my cup of tea. I look forward to lessons in the fall." He said something similar about being excited about the fall. I noticed he deleted me on fb after that, LOL! I thought, "WTF!", and felt offended even more. It is stupid to care about this but I did. LOL, I feel embarrassed writing this out right now.

I still haven't played my horn for a month and ensembles start this week. I haven't stopped playing like this in over 2 years. I am not sure if this is what I want to do anymore. I keep putting it off because it takes a lot of fucking time to play this instrument correctly. At LEAST 5 to 6 hours a day of having a piece of metal on your face, not including ensembles. I would rather work on myself than practice the trumpet but I am around a year away from having a college degree. I am going to finish because I have made it this far. It is like I have replaced practicing with reading and listening to the desteni material.

I noticed some thoughts today. When I was walking to class I would walk by classmates on campus that I know (some better than others). I thought, "What do they think of me"? "Do they think I am crazy?" "Do they like me as a person"? and.... other thoughts, such as judgement on my part, "They don't care about this world.", "They don't care about changing themselves", "They don't know what I know.", "They only care about shit that doesn't matter and sucking ass to teachers." It was kind of like why should I care about them when they don't care about anything. Thinking these people are shallow.

These thoughts are related to the feelings of anxiety and nervousness I feel around these specific people I have noticed. These are the people I am not comfortable around. Thoughts and energy in my body builds usually when I have to talk to these people. This I fucking notice. I am sure breathing can help here but it feels very foreign to apply it to this part of my life. If I can breathe thought quitting caffeine and drinking pop, and biting my nails I surely should be able to apply it to this part of me. LOL! it seems so simple, the concept; much easier said than done because the thoughts can possess you. So I go through possessive states of the mind throughout the day.

[Johnathan]

http://johnathanexposed.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-forgive-myself-for-accepting-and.html

[MartijndeGraaf]

interesting, thanks. It's the separation we create in the mind through thoughts of judgment and comparison etc that causes the anxiety and nervousness. Remember, everyone is in process, we're all in the same boat. All go through the same realizations, just on different moments, maybe even when it's too late: after death. So this makes us all alike, and we see in each other ourselves in various stages of denial, fall, ignorance, resistance, etc. So Cool stopping these thoughts in yourself. If you meet people just try and grasp for a moment where they are in their process.

One problem is that sharing process is not common. But when we share a bit about a realization of some sort, we may be surprised by the understanding that's in another for the point we mention. We see and realize a lot more than we share as humanity.

[Johnathan]

http://johnathanexposed.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-noticed-something.html

[Johnathan]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45iCQipm3Xo