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by Zakaria Husain
05 May 2015, 17:59
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 280 In my working environments, traditionally I have always burdened myself out of fear. Fearing that if I do not live up to the responsibilities that I have agreed too, or responsibilities that have been passed to me - that if I fail, or if I see that I am failing - I do not ask for help. I ins...
by Zakaria Husain
25 Dec 2014, 20:11
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 279 I am writing to day about a point that has come up in regards to someone whom I believe is emotionally stunting another person, whereas I am trying to make this person responsible, and the other person is trying to subconsciously make them dependant on them. I see within this that we are act...
by Zakaria Husain
05 Dec 2014, 22:05
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 278 Getting into conflict There is a person that I come into contact with regularly, they hold a secretarial role and is sometimes in a position where I feel they are able to ‘order me around’. I find myself being quite angry with her most of the time, and being on guard so as to prevent myself ...
by Zakaria Husain
18 Nov 2014, 22:59
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 277 I have noticed that within my relationships, I am trying to compensate a lot – for what I see as lack of self worth. A general belief that I am not good enough and that my life does not mean anything. I do not love myself as an existence as I am always judging myself according to my mind, ac...
by Zakaria Husain
10 Nov 2014, 22:57
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 276 I participate in the thought/backchat that people are secretly thinking about me, ‘they are secretly saying bad things like I am a suck-up or sycophant’. I see that I am judging myself as doing this, as I do ‘operate’ on a ‘please to receive’ basis. ‘How dare they slur my work’ – ‘how dare t...
by Zakaria Husain
03 Nov 2014, 22:01
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 275 My embarrassment towards myself. I get embarrassed. ‘This is the way it is’ I say to myself. ‘Men just don’t open up as much as women do – so it’s okay to not share anything’. Predominant fear of being embarrassed by exposing myself to others in my JTL blogs. Like anything I have done within...
by Zakaria Husain
08 Oct 2014, 22:13
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 274 I tried to come across to somebody from a point of saying ‘I have something that you need, I have something that is better than anything you have ever seen, I have something that you don’t have’ – I was trying to establish myself with this person, trying to get them to think ‘wow, this guy k...
by Zakaria Husain
18 Sep 2014, 19:09
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 273 Postponement I see myself as postponing myself in my work, I say to myself ‘Oh I will do it tomorrow, there is enough time, I can do other things today’. This cycle ends up continuing into days, and in extreme cases weeks. There are moments where I see myself as about to do the thing in ques...
by Zakaria Husain
03 Sep 2014, 19:50
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Day 272 On the subject of food, there an interesting thing that I am not seeing, the tendency to emotionally eat myself up. It’s crazy, as when I see myself as having participated in emotions and feelings I can see myself eating faster, trying to scoff it down quicker. Also noticed when somebody had...
by Zakaria Husain
31 Aug 2014, 10:05
Forum: Writing Yourself to Freedom
Topic: Zakaria's Blog
Replies: 782
Views: 43547

Re: Zakaria's Blog

Me and my relationship to food So I saw myself today in an interesting moment – when I saw that I was not full and carried on eating and wanting more – I said to myself ‘but no you can’t anymore – look at how much you have eaten compared to the meals you have the last few days – something is wrong’....

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