Hey there

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Murli
Posts: 3
Joined: 19 Jun 2011, 11:04

Hey there

Post by Murli »

Hey there.. I don't really know what I am doing here but I'd like to try and find out. You've all written long and great introductions, I'll try to do the same but I don't think I can answer the same questions about Desteni as you do. I don't know what Desteni is, I don't know what Desteni does, yet, still I am here.

Where to begin.. I could tell you about my childhood, about my young years, about where I am now..

I was born into a religious family, something called the Hare Krishna. I was lead into religious doctrine from early on.. as most often the case in secluded groups, it was "we" against "them", the religious group I "belonged" to against the rest of those who walked the "wrong path". I didn't see it like that at that time as I was only a child yet I was still programmed to believe we were living the right way and everyone else were lost souls.. we left Hare Krishna when I was 8 and moved to a big city, before that I'd been growing up on the countryside in a society of its own.

There I came to realizations about myself and the world as I perceived it, I made new friends, they were "normal" people, not different like I was (Put in my new environment, I suddenly became the different one, not them) and yet they lived, as I perceived it, good lives. I saw that my friends were happy, had fun and enjoyed themselves even though they didn't believe in my God, even though they didn't follow the same philosophies and doctrines I grew up with. I felt tricked. I was mad at my parents for making me believe something that was false, I was mad because I had been taught that WE were living the right way, the 'good' way and everyone else were not, yet my friends were just as happy as I was. They lived even better lives by materialistic standards. I felt so tricked by my parents, by society and by God. When I was 10 years old I swore to God that I would not believe in him, that all religion was false and no one could trick me into believe something like that again.

The following years were spent as most kids in the west, school, puberty, friends, video games, I didn't really think of my childhood. It was something I was ashamed of and despised so I hid it within myself. As I become older I had built many walls and grew more insecure, my self esteem was very low, I felt different. Those "important" years when all those new and exciting discoveries are made (alcohol, partying.. sex) I spent mostly for myself. By social standards I was a so called late bloomer. The same discoveries my friends made I first made a few years later, combine that with an already low self esteem and.. yeah, I felt worse. I felt miserable. I decided to change.

When I was around 17 or so I said enough. I was social, I had friends, but I wasn't myself. All my behaviors were a result of trying to fit into social groups, the words I spoke weren't really mine, they were the groups. I wanted to find myself, be myself.

I started facing my fears and explore the depths of within. I asked questions about myself, who am I, what am I, what can I become, what do I want? and so on.. My adventures began here. I broke down some of the walls I had built before, I gained wisdom.. I started to find things. Or rather, things started to find me.

I stumbled upon books like 'The Secret' and 'The Alchemist' .. I started discovering a spirituality I had not known before. My early years had me despise religion and 'God' but this was not the same. I slowly gained a new understanding of God and the world we live in. Things that are there regardless of religion. Somehow, it all felt genuine, it was like a veil was being lifted. People started to enter my life when I needed them, people that taught me something I needed to know there and now.

On New Year's eve 2008.. entering 2009, I met a girl who changed my life. Until then it felt as if I was alone with the things I knew, no one else seemed to have the same understanding, but she understood and, for the first time, knew more than me. She became the 'key' that unlocked me, I started to change after that. Slowly, unconsciously.. but change was there.

I read more books and made new discoveries about the world and myself at a deeper level, stumbling upon so many seemingly different and un-related things yet found that they were in common. I found myself helping people with emotional problems, and actually being able to give advice and help them.. All my years of low self-esteem have given me deep knowledge about emotions and human behavior. Even though it was living hell back then, I'm thankful for it now. I wouldn't be able to write these things if it weren't for those years left alone in darkness. Break up the word alone and you see we're actually not really alone.. we're all-one. It's ironic that it takes being alone to understand that you're not haha.

I've also stumbled upon a very dark world, the tradition of mysticism and magic.. demons, negative astral entities and so on.. I do not like how they influence our world.. I wish they could all be washed away with light.

I am 20 years old now, turning 21. The years from then up until now have been some of the most interesting, heaviest and re-defining so far. I feel so old.. even though I'm hardly adult. I know my call is to help people somehow.. I guess that's why I am here, to gain more knowledge that I can share with others.

Those of you who read all of this, thank you for hearing me out.

Right now a person very dear to my needs to learn self-forgiveness but I don't know how I can help her.. no matter how much I try, I can't really reach her. She's carrying overwhelmingly negativity right now.. I haven't started looking around here yet, and 2200+ videos is a lot.. Does anyone know where I can find some information? I'd like to learn as much as possible so I can help her.

*edit* I didn't know there was a sub-forum for self-forgiveness, I'll look there!

thanks


Do what you love - Love what you do

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barbara
Posts: 622
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: Hey there

Post by barbara »

Hi 'Moonlord'!
Welcome to the forum! A short note: We make it a point that real names are used - I assume Moonlord isn't your real name?

"I've also stumbled upon a very dark world, the tradition of mysticism and magic.. demons, negative astral entities and so on.. I do not like how they influence our world.. I wish they could all be washed away with light."

The demons et al. are not separate entities, they are what we accept and allow ourselves as when we participate as and within the specific emotional energy they - as us - feed on. It is manifested as 'demon possessions', thus 'they' do not influence our world - we allow this as ourselves. The dimensions are Here as and within us - everything is one and equal. The video material provides you with more understanding of this: look for the 'videos section' on the home page under Demons and you will see that it is all within us and what we allow.

We can only stop ourselves as it and 'It'/'them' within us, by applying self-forgiveness specifically and not participating within and as the energy.

Enjoy your investigations!



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Murli
Posts: 3
Joined: 19 Jun 2011, 11:04

Re: Hey there

Post by Murli »

barbara wrote:Hi 'Moonlord'!
Welcome to the forum! A short note: We make it a point that real names are used - I assume Moonlord isn't your real name?

"I've also stumbled upon a very dark world, the tradition of mysticism and magic.. demons, negative astral entities and so on.. I do not like how they influence our world.. I wish they could all be washed away with light."

The demons et al. are not separate entities, they are what we accept and allow ourselves as when we participate as and within the specific emotional energy they - as us - feed on. It is manifested as 'demon possessions', thus 'they' do not influence our world - we allow this as ourselves. The dimensions are Here as and within us - everything is one and equal. The video material provides you with more understanding of this: look for the 'videos section' on the home page under Demons and you will see that it is all within us and what we allow.

We can only stop ourselves as it and 'It'/'them' within us, by applying self-forgiveness specifically and not participating within and as the energy.

Enjoy your investigations!

Thanks Barbara, I'm a bit confused though, is there any particular reason for using real names? I'm more comfortable using an alias

As for the demons, I haven't read much about them but I have come to the same understanding you write about, it is all within us and what we allow. Still, couldn't one define the negative energy influencing you as a "seperate entity" just as the ego is within us and yet not us?

Chris


Do what you love - Love what you do

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barbara
Posts: 622
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: Hey there

Post by barbara »

Hi Chris!

The 'thing' with using our real name is that we can't hide behind anything, actually we are making a decision not to hide, to stand as who we are. It's making a stand as who we are with every word we write and say and thus not allow ourselves to be possessed, for example. In a way it is a statement that we value who we are and can be held accountable for what we say and do.

You can have a look at the reasons why you're not comfortable with using your own name. Are you trying to hold up an image of yourself, do you fear being 'exposed' in any way? - All you could be 'exposed' for is yourself anyway. So it's a way to face yourself, to see yourself. It's a chance to be seen the way you've allowed yourself to be, and not for who you want yourself to be as an idea, which would come into the open anyway.

Well, w/r/t defining something as an influence, or ego, is of separation, because its origin is the mind. 'Definition' means 'about limits/boundaries' (latin), so in that you're separating yourself from ego, from something that can influence you, and making the statement that you are inferior to it - it has power over you. So that's why it's so cool to use/speak self-forgiveness, because thus you give yourself back to you by stating your realization that you are actually one with what you have allowed separation from by way of having defined it as something separate.



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barbara
Posts: 622
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: Hey there

Post by barbara »

I forgot to add: the ego is us - we are the ego, we have allowed ourselves as it and we've walked our lives as it, we've come to trust it as who we are, so we have made it a part of us. So it is first to realize this and then to give ourselves self-direction within and as commonsense as best for all, not based on ego. Thus we walk ego-as-ourselves into oneness and equality as best for all.



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William
Posts: 171
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 00:19
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Re: Hey there

Post by William »

Hi Chris,

I had a similar religious upbringing myself. Religion is what separates us as a belief system of 'less than/better than' polarity. You said that you cursed God when you were 10. Cool. Suggest you not allow yourself to think that you are 'special' for doing that. That is the trap of the mind. You are asking for information so that you can help your friend. Until you first help yourself, you are of no real help to anyone. A truck stuck in the mud cannot pull another truck out, and you will eventually find that no one can really help anyone else. Each must do it for themselves, and you trying to help someone else will just make things worse. Concentrate on yourself, and you will get your answers. I strongly suggest that you go through the following videos to assist yourself. There are many videos, but there is no real shortcut to this. There are also many many helpful documents on the Destonian Forum if you use the search function.


Enjoy


Here is a link to the fundamental Desteni videos found at the bottom of the home page...
System demon series
Design of Life
History of Mankind
Intro to Desteni
Experience Living and
Principled Living

http://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=22



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Murli
Posts: 3
Joined: 19 Jun 2011, 11:04

Re: Hey there

Post by Murli »

Barbara,

Thank you. I don't know what you say.. yes, I am hiding. As for the reason, I think it's fear of exposure. Being pointed at and laughed at because of my unusual upbringing, having an unusual name, not being 'normal' and so on.

Even the name Chris is a way of hiding, it's my middle name.. I use it not to stick out. The name I was given at birth is Murlidhar but I'm called Murli. From now on I'll use that name.
Thank you.

I think I understand what you mean about ego, it sounds like what Eckhart Tolle writes in his book 'A New Earth'. That book have helped me a lot.



William,

Hi, Thanks for a nice reply. No I don't see myself as special because I did that, now that we're talking about it I don't even know why I mentioned it. Trap of the mind as you say..
You're very right about help. One can hold out a helping hand but you can't force the other person to take it.
I've actually been doing as you say, concentrating on myself and being supportive and open, always holding out my hand and being there for her.

Thank you very much for the links! I'll check them out.




As I write this I feel exposed, not before you but before myself. Especially what Barbara said about hiding. I have so much to learn and forgive about myself.. firstly for hiding behind other names.

thank you,
Murli

p.s Is there any way to change my username or do I have register a new user? I can change the e-mail but not the username in the control panel.


Do what you love - Love what you do

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barbara
Posts: 622
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: Hey there

Post by barbara »

It's great to hear you're looking into the point of hiding, Murli! I like the name!
It reminds me of mine, because, when I 'took your name apart' it came out as 'mur' (latin murus - wall) - 'lid' - har(d) and I saw someone hiding behind a wall with a lid on top as a cover and a 'hardness' or 'being hard on yourself' - lol. So, like bar-bar-a 'barring' everything off and hiding. So, it's a long process to allow oneself out again and trust who one is. Let's just do it!

P.S. I'll ask someone to change your user name.

Nice to have you here, Murli!



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ANDREW DAVIS
Posts: 16
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 17:18

Re: Hey there

Post by ANDREW DAVIS »

GREETINGS :D



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Cathy
Posts: 1153
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 07:36
Contact:

Re: Hey there

Post by Cathy »

Welcome here Murli,

To add to what has been shared, the process of self-forgiveness is about self-responsibility and accountability, therefore we use our real names. Cool you're here. Study the material and ask any questions you may have.

Suggest the following video about ego for a clearer understanding - Enjoy!


Revenge of the Ego



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