I am Rozelle and below I will share a bit about myself and how I got to desteni.
How I got to Desteni
I was introduced to Desteni at the age of 14 through my cousin Esteni who is in an agreement with Bernard. At that stage it was still very much what one would see as ‘the beginning stages’ of what we now know today to be Desteni. I very quickly became close friends with Bernard’s daughter Cerise whom I spent most of my time with whenever I would visit during those years. So my introduction to Desteni is quite different from the other people whose posts you would probably have read in this ‘Introduce yourself’ forum in that they were mostly all introduced through the videos that have been made available online, whereas I had my introduction and realisations within real-time through conversing with Bernard and all the other beings who have walked with since then.At the age of 16 I moved in to live with Bernard, Esteni, Cerise and Leslie-John (Bernard’s daughter and son).
What stands out for me when I look back at who I was before I met Bernard and how I came to change myself, is the questions he would ask me. Questions that from my perspective no one in this reality would dare ask another as they all fell into the category of questions that people just didn’t ask because they questioned the very fabric of a being. Questions that challenge my beliefs of who I perceived myself to be. So through the questions that were asked I started my Quest-Within in this process to find the truth of myself.
In the beginning of my process I experienced a lot of fear, which was only natural as these questions challenged everything I knew myself to be. But when I moved through the fear and investigated myself within the context of the questions that were asked, I was able to see that everything I believed I was, was a lie. It was like a veil had been lifted in front of my eyes and I remember I experienced it like I could see for the first time. What did I see? – I saw that everything that I believed, all the ideas I had about life, people and myself were all an illusion and all I was, was a pre-programmed robot IN FACT.
Then when I was almost 19 years old, I moved out from where I lived with Bernard, Esteni Sunette, Cerise, LJ and all others who lived together with us at that stage. The reason I moved out is because I wanted to ‘go out and experience life’. So I moved out and started my journey of acquiring all of the system-things I desired, which was to party, find a successful guy to be in a relationship with, to take drugs and to ultimately have ‘fun’. So I ended up spending about 4 years in the system. I had found the successful guy whom I desired to be in a relationship with. I had experimented and taken a lot of drugs which towards the end of the 4 years became extremely abusive in my use of it in order to escape my reality. I had become my own worst enemy in that I was at the end of those 4 years on a path of complete self-destruction. I had lost everything during the last year and was forced to live with my parents for a short while until I could muster up the ‘courage and strength’ (these were the exact words) to start from scratch again to survive within this reality. In those 4 years I experienced, witnessed and had to endure an extensive amount of abuse.
So I started my ‘system journey’ by having left to ‘experience life’. What I found within this ‘journey’ is that life is all kinds of evil. And if you don’t agree with me on this point then it means one thing, that you probably have a lot of or enough money to ensure that you are not at the losing end of the current monetary system.
So I lived with my parents for about 3 months where I experienced myself as a complete failure and I plummeted into extreme depression, mixed with partying EVERY night, drinking and taking a cocktail of drugs in my attempt to escape what had become my reality. At this point Bernard’s son made contact with me through facebook which then led to me coming to the Desteni farm for which was supposed to be only for a few days to visit. I was a complete wreck with no self-worth and on the verge of alcoholism at that time. Gratefully I was offered a second chance to join Desteni and to live at the farm. Were it not for this opportunity I would most certainly still be self-destructing at this point.
When I moved to the farm I was introduced to the Equal Money System research which had been done as well as the Desteni I Process course material, which was not a part of process before I left at the age of 18. Within studying the research and looking at my life and the time I spent in the system, it was so clear to me that every choice I had made and every experience I had was based on money. I prostituted myself for money. And I don’t mean that I was a prostitute that was paid to have sex with guys. I mean it in the sense that I compromised myself and shaped and shifted myself in order to for example be with a successful and rich man so that I could have security. And the point that fascinated me in my evaluation of this was that at that time I actually believed that I was ‘in love’. But when I self-honestly looked at it I could clearly see that I was just driven by survival and were it not for the survival point, I would most definitely never have chosen to be with that same person. The same goes for all of the other choices I had made – they were all based on money and survival within this harsh system we live in. If survival hadn’t been a factor my life would’ve been very different.
So now I currently live at the Desteni Farm where I am grateful to be walking with a group of people from all over the world who have come together from many different starting points. People who are standing up through taking self-responsibility and changing themselves to be the change we would all like to see in this world. And who are also walking their own processes of self-realizing themselves through the application of the supportive tools shared at Desteni.
Why Do I Stand with and for Equal-Money and World-Equality
I stand with and for an Equal Money System because I have experienced, witnessed and been exposed to the abuse of this world and even though I have been given a second chance as told within my brief story above, there are millions in this world who do not have the same opportunity to be able to live as I do within an equality based community. Equal Money is the gift I would like to see given to all so that no one has to starve to death and be victimized and exploited for profit. We are all equal as life, however the current monetary system is a system of extreme abuse which has made us forget our equality as not all are provided for equally by having their basic needs taken care of, such as food, water, shelter etc . Instead millions are abused by the system we have given permission to which requires that all have to exist within survival mode to survive within it. You shouldn’t have to survive because you were born into this reality. So, equal money will take out the survival factor which will allow for all to live a dignified life. It’s only common sense to stand for that which will provide equally for all so that no one has to suffer at the hand of a system which is based on profit and loss. Everyone should profit by living a dignified life – that is why I stand for Equal Money.
What I understand to be “Heaven on Earth”
My understanding of Heaven on Earth is to live in a supportive system where all are treated equally and all live a dignified life. A place where the word survival is non-existent as a living experience of self.
Heaven on Earth is certainly possible as it is exactly what the Equal Money System proposes. That is why I vote and stand for an Equal Money System, because it means to stand for the true manifestation of heaven on earth where all are equal as life and as life are equally supported in fact. Imagine a life where you do not have to survive to be alive – this is what I see as being heaven on earth.
Here are a few of my favorite videos which have assisted me within my own process of self-realization:
Silently we Suffer
SELF FORGIVENESS as LIFE
Principle and Personality
Equality in this World
The I Am, that I Am -Disaster
Earth is a Test
Resonance as the Resident Evil
Self Honesty versus Honesty
When is Free Choice Real Power and Freedom
Self Moving and Mind-Initiated Movement
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKk3f_rt ... e=youtu.be