Lindsay's Intro

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Lindsay
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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 19:50

Lindsay's Intro

Post by Lindsay »

How I Found Desteni

Before I found Desteni my life was basically a whirlwind, one could say. Since junior high, mainly through ingesting an array of drugs, I had very much defined myself as a 'seeker of the truth' thus was always questioning, ruminating, philosophizing, and torturing myself with the whole 'what does this all mean?' - 'why am I here?' - 'why is there so much suffering in this world?' - oftentimes to the dismay of my friends/family/anyone that conversed with me, lol.This type of tenacious seeking landed me in various situations within which I believed I would somehow eventually get 'there' - there being 'the truth' - lol, all the while I was walking on this physical Earth, breathing air, eating food, shitting, basically not taking into consideration everything is HERE.

Because of defining myself as a 'free spirit' I experienced extreme constriction (what a contradiction, lol) within anything that entailed participating in 'the system' and due to this immense separation of myself AS 'the system' I spent most of my life rebelling 'on the fringe,' desperately trying to 'drop out' of society - 'trying' being the key words here, as then I wasn't aware of the fact that there is no way one can 'drop out' or be 'outside' of the system, as 'the system' is not separate from us, it IS us, thus this was me adamantly running away from myself, 'seeking' refuge only within the limited confines of my mind.

To give context to the day I 'stumbled' upon my first Desteni video, which was in January of 2010:

I was sitting in my room, a spare bedroom which my friend was graciously allowing me to live in while I got 'back on my feet' - back on my feet from what? - well, prior to this moment of me sitting in this room looking at youtube videos on my computer, I had been staying on the east coast with my parents trying to 'figure my life out' after just previously being intentionally homeless as part of what I believed to be my 'spiritual path to enlightenment'. I had believed that I was on my way to being some sort of saint who was going to rid the world of suffering, and the way to make this happen was to subject myself to an austere life of a wandering ascetic. I had a vision one day while meditating atop of the cardboard box I slept on under the fig tree next to the grocery store which I then called 'home' that revealed to me that I was ready to do the 40 day fast like Jesus had done. The vision also revealed to me that I wasn't going to be able to do it while homeless, hence why I traveled back to New York to stay with my parents while undertaking this 'spiritual initiation' period, all of which I quickly abandoned after 4 days within the realization that I was mind fucking myself extensively. There is where I decided that I had to stop the 'search' as I was literally driving myself insane to say the least, and not knowing what else to do, I did what everyone else does because of not know what else to do = submit and become part of the system. It was all a point of me being completely lost, not knowing what I was doing in life. I rolled myself up in a ball in my parent's living room wailing about how all I wanted to do was help people. I had no clue how to help myself though, so finally submitted to what society deemed as the path one should take in life = getting a career. So, I decided to go back to school, for the 5th time.

This is literally the smallest chunk of the life I walked prior to finding Desteni - however, this was the gist of where I was at for about 6 months before the moment of discovering my first Desteni video. The context within which I found Desteni was that I was attending school for English Literature and Creative Writing and was taking a class in Mythology and Folklore, we were learning a section on creation myths and the chapter I was reading was about the Annunaki. I wanted to find out more, so I went on youtube and typed in Annunaki. I watched a video or two, all of which were quite dry and academic-like documentary lectures, and while near the end of the second vid I looked at the suggestion bar where I saw the thumbnail of young girl. She didn't have a shaved head, or even really short hair for that matter - it was one of the videos where she has her hair back in a headband - so there wasn't any confusion as to whether a girl/boy, lol. I can't quite remember, but I'm pretty sure this video didn't start with the breathing in the beginning, anyway I sat there and watched this girl and was like 'what the fuck?! Who does she think she is?!' I was reacting to the way in which she spoke so direct and absolutely, within what it seemed to be a smug laughter where I experienced myself exposed, so at first I was like 'what-everrrr' - lol - and I moved on. However - this 'what-everrrr' didn't last long at all, as I was soon 'pulled' back to the vid and watched it again. Then watched many others, which at first I was comparing to my time living in a anarchist-zen mediation community wherein I realized that I wasn't my mind, although there wasn't any real practical tools to assist me in directing this fact, so much of what arose while I sat in meditation for 5 to 10 hours a day, was mostly just suppressed back down - until I dis-covered Desteni and was quick to see that this was 'the way'. I didn't wait long to join the forum, however, my first post was full of ego-bullshit all of which I realized soon-after posting it, which deterred me from posting again for another 4 months due to the sheer embarrassment I allowed within me. I didn't stop going and reading the posts on the forum though, or watching the daily vids, and in May of 2010 is when I actually full-on starting walking this process within dedication and commitment, as I saw there was simply nothing else for one to do in this entire existence but STOP THE ABUSE within myself, within this world - once and for ALL.

So I am here, walking this process for Life. I walk this until it is done – whatever it takes. I have much gratitude and appreciation for those that walk this process, as I am aware that this is the most difficult task to be taken on – EVER - but really, it’s as simple as one breath, and that's how we walk = breath by breath, step by step.

Why I stand with and for Equal Money and World Equality

Because it's simply the only relevant point to stand for/as - we ALL breathe the same air, share the same Earth, yet at the moment it's as if this solid ground we all walk on is split into a multitude of worlds, that being absolute poverty alongside absolute indulgence of the highest luxury, all due to the compartmentalization of the mind as separation within personality/point of view/ego/spitefulness wherein we allow ourselves to become blinded to the actual truth that we are ALL that is here. Thus, if I see that I am ALL that is here, I will stand, not matter what, to ensure that ALL of ME is taken care of equally within this principle of what is best for ALL, as myself - and that ALL abuse STOPS forevermore. I stand to LIVE the words of loving my neighbor as myself, and see clearly that an Equal Money System is a direct expression of this statement. This is our ONE life, our ONE world - it's up to each of us to decide who we will be. It's not a hard point to grasp when one dares to take a self-honest look at the state of this world as what we have accepted and allowed to be here through our own disregard and ignorance. It's a mess. A mess that is a job for Destonian Custodians of Life to clean up and get into proper order through the implementation of an Equal Money System. I stand with those who support Equal Money as I have directly experienced through participating with these individuals what true integrity and unconditional support is.

What I understand to be “Heaven on Earth”.

Heaven on Earth as total and complete Equality will not come with any of the baggage of the past idea of 'heaven' which at the moment stands as absolute corruption and deception, no, Heaven on Earth will be a life without suffering or separation of any kind, where all are unconditionally supported within the principle of what is best for all. Where all Life, here, is able to express the Life that we all inherently are, without bounds, without limitation - for eternity. Heaven on Earth is not some fluffy nice feeling to wish for, no, it is actually what we can create here, by each of us standing up as Gods and willing ourselves to, with our very own hands, shape this world into one that all can enjoy!!

Top 10 Video Favorites

These videos listed below have and still do support me in the walking of this process as each time I 're-visit' them I dis-cover more of myself, there are many more really - here simply a short list:

The SECRET of Your Fingers Foretell the Future

Series on How to be a Portal

Demons and Greed on Earth 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015

One11 - Why Am I Here on Earth? - A Long, Long Time Ago .......

Revenge of the Ego

This One Life - This One Opportunity

Without your mind YOU are NOTHING Reptilian God Enki 5

Personality Demons and a Psychotic Future HoM86

Principle and Personality

Self Moving and Mind-Initiated Movement

Energy and Illusion Part 1 - Quantum Reality as we Experience it and Problems Caused

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Cathy
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by Cathy »

Lindsay wrote:
it's simply the only relevant point to stand for/as - we ALL breathe the same air, share the same Earth, yet at the moment it's as if this solid ground we all walk on is split into a multitude of worlds, that being absolute poverty alongside absolute indulgence of the highest luxury, all due to the compartmentalization of the mind as separation within personality/point of view/ego/spitefulness wherein we allow ourselves to become blinded to the actual truth that we are ALL that is here. Thus, if I see that I am ALL that is here, I will stand, not matter what, to ensure that ALL of ME is taken care of equally within this principle of what is best for ALL, as myself - and that ALL abuse STOPS forevermore. I stand to LIVE the words of loving my neighbor as myself, and see clearly that an Equal Money System is a direct expression of this statement. This is our ONE life, our ONE world - it's up to each of us to decide who we will be.
:)

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Kristina
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by Kristina »

Cool Lindsay - thanks for sharing!

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deedra
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by deedra »

Lindsay thanks enjoyed this.

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Carrie
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by Carrie »

Hi Lindsay. I always saw myself as a 'seeker of truth' also - ha. Awesome story and thanks for sharing.

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James D
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by James D »

Very well articulated indeed! I had some fot eh same roots as you did too--so this all sounded very familar

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Lindsay
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by Lindsay »

Cool to see you here James! Looking forward to reading your introduction, as well.

Welcome to the forum!

scott
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by scott »

Thanks Lindsay,

I’ve probably watched at least half of all your videos and found them very supportive, and it definitely factored into my resolution to continue this process. Becoming acquainted with people in this group just over the past week and a half has become such a powerful incentive for me as well, to forgive myself for a past life of being too fucking quiet.

It seems like people enjoy arguing with you, and you embrace it, which is awesome. I took a philosophy class once, and in the back row there were a couple of guys who were extremely cynical and belligerent and were ‘driven’ to criticize most everyone including the professor. What was interesting was how they were always arguing for their right to live in a bubble with everything they worked so hard for so that they can sit and feel superior to everyone who hasn’t finagled their way through the system as cleverly as they have. They remind me of the anti-equality people.

Embracing conflict is something I understand myself as capable of as well, and you help me realize that, so thanks.~

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Lindsay
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by Lindsay »

scott wrote:Thanks Lindsay,

I’ve probably watched at least half of all your videos and found them very supportive, and it definitely factored into my resolution to continue this process. Becoming acquainted with people in this group just over the past week and a half has become such a powerful incentive for me as well, to forgive myself for a past life of being too fucking quiet.

It seems like people enjoy arguing with you, and you embrace it, which is awesome. I took a philosophy class once, and in the back row there were a couple of guys who were extremely cynical and belligerent and were ‘driven’ to criticize most everyone including the professor. What was interesting was how they were always arguing for their right to live in a bubble with everything they worked so hard for so that they can sit and feel superior to everyone who hasn’t finagled their way through the system as cleverly as they have. They remind me of the anti-equality people.

Embracing conflict is something I understand myself as capable of as well, and you help me realize that, so thanks.~
Scott ~

Awesome to read this.

Your thanks is reciprocated - really glad you're here with us - daring/willing to walk, forgive, correct, and expand - for All, as All.

What I have seen/realized within myself in terms of 'conflict' is that nothing/nobody can 'hurt' me, and that if I experience any kind of movement within myself in relation to conflict, then I am clearly only in conflict with myself - so I forgive myself, let go, and keep moving until conflict is here no further in this entire existence. Thus, I embrace conflict as one and equal to myself in order to push myself to stand by my principles, no matter what - to not take shit from myself/anybody else.

Yes indeed Scott - you are definitely capable of handling/embracing conflict and you will have plenty of opportunities to prove this to yourself in this process - lololol.

ENJOY!

* OH, and Matti did a cool blog recently in relation to redefining the word CONFLICT: Redefining the word 'Conflict' in Common Sense

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Bella
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Re: Lindsay's Intro

Post by Bella »

awesome!

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