Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

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kevin harold ruscoe
Posts: 7
Joined: 03 Jul 2013, 21:46

Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by kevin harold ruscoe »

[email protected],
After leaving the forum 5 years ago due to no access to net , experiencing of how it is to be homeless in a matter of self-interest/investigation and then meeting my ex-"girl-friend" with whom I moved together eventually after 5 months of homelessness and loads of other experiences being led by my mind , accepting&allowing myself to furtheron self-destructive responsibilities towards my life, endangering it , I return to re-introduced to reality. My friend/bro Ansgar W. suggested to stay for a little longer at his place to configure and to re-socialize in aspects of getting an own place, finding work, associating to society again after a bad time being married to a woman from Thailand who made me believe in a mask she was wearing , letting me believe in a lie and love. Well, I am looking forward to go into details of my individual decision-making/consequence-dealing trace of life when having started writing at my blogsite at wordpress.
When i got to know of the existance of Desteni-group on the web through Youtube at that time 5 years ago, I participated immediately due to the topics "Who are we realy", the pacifism, world-state issues, the communication of Sunette with inter-dimensional beings, experiences of the group members, in particular point of finding a real parallel evidence of "Wee-Gee Board" , because my mates and i had a lot of experience with this at the age of 14, 15, 16(1994-96), now I´m 32 years old. Then I did not realize nor understand the quintessence of Self-Forgiveness through Self-honest Self-awareness. Not recognizing the point of self-support , taught , changing my life to a standard of realizing I´d be able to knock-down those blue-prints of mind & influence from outside by accepting & allowing , living sub-consciously more than conscious IN reality.
What is my focus on now ?
On the 08.05.2013 at 1500hrs german time I went outside into the garden, psychologically at the edge of sanity, due to breaking up with my girl-friend and the way I lived, the ways I taught my self to think about life and the disgrace the world is in, letting SELF-AWARENESS in self honesty in absolute acceptance of myself happen first time excessively. This was a sort of first step of waking up, opening my eyes towards myself, the person I had become . Then within this situation suddenly understanding what Desteni was teaching, for-there Desteni was on my mind nearly every day since 2008.
I started writing Self-Forgiveness onto paper then , started to stand up after sleeping to adjust self-awareness day by day. For sure I am conscious of the progress needing a long human-beings´ earth-lifetime to live life as breath, deconstructing the pre-programmed patterns of mind and patterns I accepted and allowed myself to manifest, designing a lie , while this is my effort. Now, still slowing down, certainly slower and more aware than before 08.05.2013. I let go of ego, let go of being some sort of image that I believed myself to be in terms of like " I know how the world problems function, I know it´s all fucked up, I know I can´t do anything about it, I know people around me won´t do shit about social problems, I know one day I´m gonna die with the thought: Man what a madhouse humanity made out of this wonderful planet this spec in universe, no wonder space-neighbours´ll visit us cuz of all the killing & murder humans do to eachother (because I was very interested in space/universe and philosophy concerning what makes reality possible to exist and how smallest interactions are possible) ..." . All that wisdom , FALSE wisdom , supposed wisdom I will work off, including also the attributes / characteristics of myself depending on past interactions with all human relationships I´ve had, using the tools offered/taught here at Desteni to work on solutions best for ALL , through starting change in myself. Through this I do not become an individual of intellect confirmed by knowledge, or a system-disaccepter while this here&now-system is supporting life including your and my life only through financial capital and not supporting life as breath and not yet open for solutions that are best for everyone & ALL. But to become real Oneness and Equality with it´s benefits for all, forgetting the desires of ego, will be my walk to life. --Kevin.

Marlen
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
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Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by Marlen »

Hallo Kevin, cool to have you here again and thank you for sharing what you've been through these past years and where you're at within the decision to come here to support yourself at the forum, very cool.

So, as you are aware of now, the forum is the place to share your writing and Self Forgiveness as well as walking the 7 Years Journey to Life if you are already beginning in your blog, cool you can share it in the respective forum and also, you're welcome to participate in asking questions with regards to your process and others so that we can all support when and if necessary - this also includes practical stuff about blogs or how to write etc.

The usual suggestion is for everyone to take the DIP Lite course to get familiar with writing and taking it as a basic foundation to understand why we write, what are the tools for and most importantly, create a habit to walk it day by day - so, check it out as you are already aware of it.


Also, pease take a moment to read the Forum Guidelines so that all participation here is clear - on what to share/ what not to share considering this is a public forum.

You can open up a thread of your own in theWriting Yourself to Freedom forum and/or Self-Forgiveness for more specific questions/ points with regards to your application of it.

Welcome back!

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Ann
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Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 06:37
Location: Belgium
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Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by Ann »

Welcome back Kevin!

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Anna
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
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Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by Anna »

Hi Kevin - awesome that you're back!

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kevin harold ruscoe
Posts: 7
Joined: 03 Jul 2013, 21:46

Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by kevin harold ruscoe »

What the heck is keeping me locked ? Why is writing enabled due to a block ? Is it because I dedicated my life before to ROCK ? Or is it the fear of tracing realities that I almost forgot ? I won´t end up as a robot . But minds´ force will become stronger the longer I´ll wonder of what this group IS in means of no in-betweens and the awareness of what in past dreams appeared as the illusion of being understood . Of being understood .Yes, this seems to be an illusion for me , because in fact I was living secluded due to my view of everything I behold . Always , analytical. A skeptic . Not applying towards ignorance of all that was/is outside of my-self but IN self , ignorant . Hazardous to self by the way of handling situations spontaneously mostly without calculating eventual consequence, but with a common sensed moral directed from within myself as to say it in short words : I am a monkey =D ! In deed ! 16.02.1980 – 04.02.1981 . It is astonishing and so precise what I just found on the web about Chinese zodiac . I commit myself of what my ego , caused probably sub-consciously state or nature of mind . What is replaced on this site : http://www.stregato.de/blog/2012/07/chi ... charakter/ comes in deed very close, admittedly. It´s german but it´ll be the equal info in English , else wise Chinese astrology can be adjusted to anything nowadays if cash flows , and that would be like Batman and Moses were a team . Irony . Very often, or often enough sux. Worse : Sarcasm. I actually wanted to write : Through "self-sworn" obligation actually, of having the tendence to love to decide for rights in situations.
(Okay . Self-forgiveness :
I forgive myself in SELF-HONESTY to have accepted myself and to have allowed myself, to have let irony shift the seriousness wanting to make it more relaxed, but not playing down facts of my information, written, about myself at a particular point.
Now to come to my point . Is that what I have been looking for all time long after ending of childhood , till now, to be found here ? Trust ?
I will be NOT accepted as anyone special, AND IT IS NOT IN MY (EGO)-INTEREST TO be IN need of special attention or concepting any kind of interpersonal influence towards anyone in this group Desteni. I will be treated and supported in Equality as there IS NOTHING UNequal to Oneness AS LIFE to live LIFE AS BREATH.

I will work on to crack those locks caused by intimate fear ! --Kevin Harold Ruscoe

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kevin harold ruscoe
Posts: 7
Joined: 03 Jul 2013, 21:46

Oh, how unpolite of me.

Post by kevin harold ruscoe »

Hello, Ann & Frodo the doggy from Belgium and Hello Anna from Sweden who likes to swear (F) ,lol, nice to meet you too, and a hello of course towards Durban, home of portal, and Hello to all over this planet, Hi all *mind-stoppers* . You´re all awesome !!! Destonians never TRY =D I am happy for all of you, that everything developed, this way and "luckily" (dont know a fitting word instead of luckily) did not collapse completely because of any other useless jactancioso. BUT, We´re ALL Equal, sure they´ll be aware of that one day. And the Equallity programm design of B.I.G / Equal M.System realy makes me feel so happy , that the stone needs a few more pushes, but will roll, for sure. Interesting !!! .
Youtube would magnetize probably more Haters and *Fucks .
Btw, I sent a blueprint letter designed by Mexico-Marlen, signed with my name, to You-Tube, too.
Looking forward , here&now ! Happy Self-Forgiving all !
Enjoy&stay alive !

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Bella
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Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 13:07

Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by Bella »

Hi Kevin,
great to see you sharing here, and thanks for introducing yourself with some context of 'where you've been' and what you've been through.
Welcome to the forum again, and enjoy!

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kim amourette
Posts: 299
Joined: 13 Aug 2011, 12:53

Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by kim amourette »

Hey there Kevin,

welcome to the forum and enjoy your journey of writing yourself to freedom and applying the tools in stopping the mind. As has been already suggested - the DIP Lite course is an easy and fun way to start process.

Cheers, Kim

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KellyPosey
Posts: 663
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 06:46

Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by KellyPosey »

Welcome back Kevin. I second the suggestion to walk the DIPLite course! It is great to begin developing a structured approach to one's mind, with buddy support the whole way.

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Juan Pablo
Posts: 405
Joined: 14 Jun 2012, 21:54

Re: Hello, my pseudonym was "PrecisionDelivery" 5 years ago.

Post by Juan Pablo »

Welcome Kevin! - cool that you are here again

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