Return To Process

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Ryan
Posts: 3
Joined: 25 Jun 2014, 09:25

Return To Process

Postby Ryan » 25 Jun 2014, 09:59

Hello all of you at desteni its very nice to see that you guys have grown and the amount of material covers far more topics then it did when I was last on here. Now I am not like most I am a returner. I have had a difficult time, been on and off with this process since I think it was 2006 or seven. Would be nice if I could find my old acct, if it is still on here and has not been deleted. I have tried to avoid this process, been afraid of it to tell you the truth, tried so many times to avoid it, but the cries from within that torment me cannot be ignored , have got me to return to process time and time again, with or without desteni. I just got my computer running again after being without it due to me getting mad at myself for wasting time playing video games, so I cut all the cords, lol. Come to find out you kind of need a computer in this day and age. I am familiar with the process and have already watched many of the videos, and have never really stopped writing since I started up with you guys in 2007, so I have about 20 plus notebooks of writing, lost all the stuff on my computer though. I am happy to be back and was doing some writing yesterday and decided to see if this would be helpful to me again as it has before. I saw your guys I process course and I intend to sign up as 100 dollars for the course is nothing when compared to what is offered. Really interested in the buddy and mentoring system involved with it. Part of my struggle with this was not being able to find anyone who would be open enough to discuss the things that you guys talk about and the struggles that I myself have ran into within this process in my daily life. After all my exploration with myself I have discovered what I should have so very long ago. There is no shortcut or any other way that is even close to as effective as the course you guys have outlined. I just want to say hello again for now. Will post later with an update to where I am within my own process.



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Anna
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
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Re: Return To Process

Postby Anna » 25 Jun 2014, 13:35

Hi there. Welcome back. Glad that you've decided to join again.

May I ask, what is your real name and if it is cool with you, could we place your real name as your user name?

Here on the forum you can share yourself through writing, there are several sections you can post in. You can start your own thread in Writing yourself to freedom or in Sharing self forgiveness. We all walk the7 years journey to life process where we write consistently and count the days.

You can start a blog and join us on this journey whenever you're ready.

I also suggest checking out Eqafe. This is the hub where all new interviews are placed and there are many new interviews added every week.

Please also have a look at the guidelines for participating on the forum.

If there are any questions feel free and ask.




Marlen
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Re: Return To Process

Postby Marlen » 26 Jun 2014, 02:52

Cool that you are here and that you didn't stop writing. Indeed the material continues to grow and grow and now more practical than ever with all the stuff at Eqafe too. I would definitely suggest you consider taking the DIP Lite course which is free and will get you through the basics of how to write self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and commitments which is something that has been part of the developments when it comes to the essential writing tools.

Welcome back and as Anna shared, beginning with sharing your writings is a cool point to begin with.

Enjoy



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Ryan
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Joined: 25 Jun 2014, 09:25

Re: Return To Process

Postby Ryan » 26 Jun 2014, 08:21

Thanks for your responses my real name is Ryan Linehan and I remember the guidelines and everything, as I never really stopped writing, or applying self forgiveness, at times I would just get frustrated and sometimes overwhelmed. I even remember some of you from when I was first one here, Anna, and marlen being one. You had started process just a bit before me as I remember looking at the dates that were next to your name. You have come a long way while I myself who have not given myself the 100 percent that I deserve have struggled. Now I am willing to give that hundred percent and then some, because if I would have actually been committed 100 percent from the beginning I may have already done close to seven years. I remember the details about self forgiveness and very much of that writing that I have saved was self forgiveness messages to myself. As I have found that no matter how many times I have collapsed within this process I always have returned to writing and self forgiveness as I know it is the only effective way to learn to actually live as life and be responsible for myself as a participant here on this earth.

I liked very much the video series about what is sex, as most of that was not on here at that time and I am on day 5 cleanse of not allowing myself to be intimate with myself, as I cant yet trust myself to do so responsibly without falling into old habits of forcing myself to orgasm. So day 5 no orgasm, no masturbation. I would like to post some of my writing straight from word on here, and possibly onto a blog. Don't have facebook yet as I never really got into it, but for the purpose of pushing myself I will sign up for it.

Some other things I am working on is a sleep issue as myself internally seems to want me to wake up at about 3 hours of sleep because after that I get messages and pictures of myself jumping off cliffs and falling down, just because I sleep more than 3 or four hours and also messages in my dreams that I am raping myself and taking of my own life essense by sleeping more than 3 or 4 hours. This is something I have struggled with for quite some time and has actually been one of the primary reasons I have in the past given up on myself. I know you guys suggest six hours of sleep per night but for me myself, my body and all of me seems to send me msgs that sleep is becoming toxic to me at right around 3-4 hours. I started Dip lite and am almost done with it. For me most of it is a rehash, but after basically having to restart from the beginning of process again, its a useful rehash.

Let me know what it is I have to do to get my old acct. back if it is still on here. Thanks Anna and to all of you for responding to my writing. Feedback is what i have been critically missing within all this without a computer for 2 years.



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Anna
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
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Re: Return To Process

Postby Anna » 26 Jun 2014, 08:48

Hi Ryan.

Cool introduction - very glad that you're back. I absolutely agree, feedback on our writings is an essential part of the process.

Regarding the sleep point, I suggest to start by writing it out here. When and how did it start?

(I've changed your username to Ryan btw so remember that when you next login)



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tormod
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Joined: 25 Jan 2012, 12:05

Re: Return To Process

Postby tormod » 26 Jun 2014, 14:02

Hi Ryan!

Welcome back to desteni !

Enjoy !



Marlen
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
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Re: Return To Process

Postby Marlen » 26 Jun 2014, 16:51

Hi Ryan, on your old account, it's not here any longer as this is a second forum launched in 2011.

Another perspective on the 7 years, it is mostly a time-frame but as many of us have realized, it definitely doesn't meant that after 7 years one is done with it, it's simply a first-set of years wherein through constant and continuous application one gets to a point of stability, self awareness and self-direction - however time in itself doesn't make the days count but who we are within each of those days and our application of it. So this process is certainly not measurable though years I'd say, but more through the actual living application of the corrective process which is where the real deal of establishing self-honesty exists. So that's for your consideration.

Being without a computer 2 years.... wow that's something I haven't gone through at all, would be cool to know why that happened as well.

The 'falling' in this process is something that I suggest also looking at. I was translating some interviews about weakness by the Atlanteans and there they explain how we create these polarities of 'falling' in/giving in/giving up and how we create our own 'falling' starting points to then get back up again, which only perpetuates the 'fall' instead of rather assessing what is required to be changed and how. So I recommend those to get further perspectives so that you can begin looking at any judgments, experiences that may come up when it comes to your process, falling or points you haven't been able to yet align/correct. And also looking at the comparison to others that have remained here throughout the time, I mean each one has a very specific process so what I would see here is most important in your case is to assess how you have supported yourself or not throughout the time since you got acquainted with the material here, which are the points you still have to work on - which is what we all do here anyways - and so simply walk along with us.

There's sometimes the perception that because you were not present in forums or else that 'you didn't walk process' but process is here for everyone, whether people are aware of it or not is another story, what Desteni provides is the set of tools and support such as this platform to cross-reference, support each other and walk as a group since we do now how tough it can get at times when doing this, which is essentially creating ourselves based on living principles, which is something we have never ever done here. Therefore, it's cool that you can be here again and cross-referencing your writings as well as reading others, that's the point of support that is available for all here, so share.

Cool you're almost done with DIP Lite, definitely a necessary rehash in your case and getting yourself ready to start DIP Pro then.

About the sleeping point, were the 3 hours mark something that 'happened' to you before Desteni or is this something that begun after you read about the 4-6 hours of sleep. That's also a consideration for when you share more about your situation.



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Jeanne
Posts: 287
Joined: 15 Jun 2011, 22:39
Location: New York

Re: Return To Process

Postby Jeanne » 27 Jun 2014, 01:34

Hey Ryan,

Welcome back. The more things change the more they stay the same...unless we change, hehe...so glad to see you're back!



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Carrie
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Joined: 04 Jul 2011, 09:23
Location: Bucksport, Maine USA

Re: Return To Process

Postby Carrie » 27 Jun 2014, 04:41

Hey Ryan. Cool you're back and that you've been writing all of this time. 20 notebooks! Wow.

For the sleeping point, I would investigate the pictures and messages that are coming up - especially if you're judging yourself as a response to what's coming up. So, if there's any movement within you in regards to you raping yourself or taking your own life essence, apply self-forgiveness, realize that we're all doing the same exact thing and remind yourself that we're here walking the process to stop this. I would also suggest to look at and deconstruct the belief that sleep is toxic for your body after 3-4 hours and be certain that this is an actual physical reality - that your body functions best with 3-4 hours of sleep - and not something mind-created from information and knowledge.




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