I remember when I was about two weeks into watching the Desteni material when I came to an interview by Bernard that shook me and I became so agitated that I walked away from the material for a short time and instead focused on other research within which I could have an experience of myself being positive, special, and hopeful - I found the David Icke and Galactic Federation of Light stuff supportive for this wanting to be and be a part of something greater and magnificent but that is all as it turned out to be another dead end. As for another knowing everything about you, understand that we've been programmed to believe that there is a greater force outside of us that knows everything that we do or knows all the thoughts we have and that we're being watched which is really interesting because the only one that is actually watching every detail of who and what you are and what you do is YOU.I was so scared that Sunette knew everything about me not following Desteni. I was really ashamed, and so when I joined Desteni I came across as selfish and egotistical. I wanted reassurance that everything was going to be ok. I wish now that I had waited before posting and calmed down first, as videos I saw by Bernard later on scared me, and made me believe for a very long time that I was evil.
Thank you so much for the welcomes everyone. Honestly all I've wanted since being 17 was to be a part of Desteni, I was just so scared of being rejected or judged, which I know was just me fearing myself. I've been through a lot emotionally and I'm not sure if it's helped me or hindered me in the long term, since I have learned a lot but I wonder if I could have just come to the same conclusions when I was 17 if I had just joined Desteni instead of fearing myself and judgement, etc. But I'm very grateful to be here now, and I will do everything I can to unravel myself and do what's best for all. I've always felt guilty for having more than others but now instead of wallowing I'm going to do something about it. I really look forward to being friends with you all, and thank you again for your welcomes
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