My name is Alex Russell.
I was a participant on the Desteni forum several years ago, during my attempt to make sense of an experience of bereavement and grief that I was walking through at that time.
I have seen many of the more recent posts on the L.I.G./ Equal Life Foundation on facebook, which I have followed for some time, and I have found them to be both very interesting and very helpful in terms of practical support. I am grateful for this, and am sharing as much information with others as I can (even though, in most cases, I find that people's minds are still quite closed to such information, let alone the 'terrifying' prospect of actually having to stand up and take responsibility for themselves and for this world = to change; I must be honest in saying that I include myself in this majority group, until now and, of course, I now find that my relationships are changing, often dramatically as a result of my decision to stand up, to face myself and my world directly and to stop allowing dishonesty and abuse in myself, in my relationships, and in my world as me).
After many years, since that time (back in 2007, if I recall correctly), of procrastination and making excuses for not committimg myself to my process of self-realization (having made several 'half-hearted' attempts to stand up, but always falling back into old, familiar patterns of thinking and behaviour), I have recently come to a point wherein I knew that I could not continue to abuse myself and, consequently, my world by hiding and refusing to participate in the Desteni process. One thing that ultimately assisted me in coming to this point was the video "Why Self-forgeveness" by Bernard Poolman, which I found on the Desteni Research channel on Youtube (http://youtu.be/7_NDWNcHGdM
). I have found that Bernard's style of 'brutal gentleness' is (or was) very akin to my own, and it often makes me smile as much as pushes me to look at aspects of myself that are far from pleasant. My experience of this is one of immense gratitude. I have made mistakes; I have been dishonest with myself and with my world; I have fallen many times, yet I have always pulled myself back up onto my feet, and I am still standing.
So, for the first time in more than 20 years (more than half my lifetime so far!), I have stopped smoking cannabis (an addiction that I had refused to see and accept as an addiction for far too long). Both my partner and I have now done this for just over 21 days, and we are continuing to uphold and stand within and as this committment to ourselves, to each other and to our world as one and equal with us.
I have started writing regularly, although I admit that this is stil not a daily activity and I know that can patiently push myself harder than I am, currently, and having started making a serious effort to apply self-honesty and self-forgiveness so that I can begin addressing and, step by step, transcending the points, the systems and the delusions that I have allowed to define me and thereby hold me in a state of enslavement to, within and as my mind for my entire life so far (for me, the 'backchat movies', as I call them, and mind projected scenarios are often the most challenging aspect of this experience). This hasn't been easy, and my partner, Charlotte, has not yet come to that same point of beginning to apply these tools. I am afully aware that the decsion to do so is hers to make, and not mine, yet I stand with her as my life partner. She has only become aware of Desteni since she and I met, and so this is all very new and often quite overwhelming for her to accept (although she is courageous and intelligent, and I know that she can see the value and importance of this process, as I communicate my experience with her openly and honestly every day). Nevertheless, this seems to be making both of us stronger, more resilient and more open with every step that we walk side by side, supporting each other practically as best we can, despite the moments of stress and frustration that naturally arise when we challenge the assumed sovereignty of our minds.
I don't want to make this an unnecessarily long post, but I would like to share with you our decision to make significant changes to the way we live in applying the ethics and principles of permaculture, having successfully participated in a Permaculture Design Certificate course earlier this year. Our plan, which is still very open at this point in time, is to sell our house (this has now been done and is being finalized) and to buy some land so that we can begin living and working towards setting up a permaculture 'business' / open community through which to share our experiences and eventually teach (as equal and one with those we would teach, not as superiors) this simple, practical approach to living and working in a way that enables us to become effective and responsible caretakers and guardians = of ourselves, of each other and of our entire world, starting small / locally (initially with myself) and working outwards.
From this perspective, I am very interested in the recent posts on facebook about new innovations in technology that could support the implementation and realization of an equal money system and a L.I.G., and I would like to assist with this in contributing my understanding of the potential of permaculture in this process to provide practical, accessible solutions for responding to our current global ecological and economic situation. Although my practical experience is still very limited at this time, I am aware that many people who are currently practicing permactulture in this world have unfortunately allowed themselves to fall into the trap of perceiving this practical design system in terms of 'spirituality' and such 'new-age', 'higher-consciousness' illusions that will actually only inhibit and impede the realization of its true, practical potential in this world, as well as 'wishing' to 'escape' from the 'rat race' (a rather cruel and ignorantly demeaning association for rats themselves, as I see it). For Charlotte and I, as we have discussed this at length and in detail, this is not our 'in-tension', although I do realize and fully accept that I can only speak for myself here.
Despite having been excluded from the Desteni forum for not maintaining regular participation in the past, I am here, now, standing ready to participate in and contribute whatever I can to assist in this process. Therefore, I would be grateful for any communication with you and others at Desteni / Equal Life Foundation / L.I.G. that would enable us to become more active and effective participants in the realization of such practical solutions to the problems and challenges that we are currently facing in this world. I must be clear in saying that we have not chosen this path in order to 'run away and hide' from the world, nor to turn our backs on the suffering, inequality and abuse in which we have participated, and that we have accepted and allowed within ourselves and our world. We have chosen this path becasue we know that we are responsible for our entire world, and so we know that we cannot continue to live as we have, nor to continue to support, through our participation, the systems that allow us to create and maintain the unnecessary inequality, suffering and abuse that exists in this world. Our aim is to work to create a place where people can come to learn with us (about themselves and about such practical tools and ways of living), and to find encouragement and support so that, step by step and, ultimately, breath by breath, we can begin to bring about the changes that are necessary in this world from the perspective of what is best for all life, as all as one as equal, as the actual living expression and practice of everyday living.
If you see that there exists within what I am endeavouring to achieve, as I have attemted to explain above, some potential value and benefit for, and contribution towards, the aims and objectives of Desteni / the Equal Life Foundation / L.I.G., then I would, of course, be both pleased and grateful to be able to share with anyone at Desteni our experiences, our learning, our space / land / home and our time. I am currently looking at how I may be able to start the full iProcess (although I know that I must first complete the iProcess Lite course) and weighing this against the potential benefit of investing in studying for a Permaculture Design Diploma, which could also greatly assist me in being able to teach and share information about this practical design system (minus any 'fluffy', 'new-age' spirituality nonsense, of course).
I welcome any responses, comments, advice and support offered here by other forum members, and apologise in advance for any typos resulting from my tendency to type quickly and my inability to touch type, as well as for my often lengthy style of writing, which may often result in a rather arduous reading experience. I will do my utmost to ensure that my communication is as clear and concise as possible, but am aware that I can offer no concrete guarantees that this will always be the case.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
All the best, for all.