Very cool Michael that you are back!
I can certainly relate to your experience, in fact sometimes each day lol. I too find myself timelooping where I am facing a point that just seems 'too big/difficult' and I postpone/resist it and ooops a few weeks goes by, until I suddenly, I wake up/realize 'wow, I have totally avoided this topic/situation'. Sometimes it feels like a giving up or hopelessness. I have now learned this is where I make,for example a memory I am looking at and task of facing it (through writing a Dip-Desteni I Process- timeline OR blogging and using the tools of writing/self-forgiveness and commitment statements) superior to myself! Imagine, memories are simply energy simulations within us and I have beLIEved this to be more powerful than me! I have also learned that within the memory is how I, over my lifetime , have come to define myself/created an idea about myself and so it defines my thinking/movements/speaking and can control me /my life. Wow, so tackling this, although seems daunting cannot harm me and can only free me!
When we fall, we get back up, no self-judgement and then we can share with each other just as you have here. So thank you and welcome back