Hilda's blog

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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Post by hilda rac »

the desire to expose people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to expose people, whom I perceive have hurt me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and vengeful towards people, whom I perceive have hurt me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have the right to expose people when/as I see/perceive them hurting me, instead of realising that I am generating my own feelings of hurt and want to blame another/others for it, with which I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that other people can hurt me, instead of realising that only I can allow myself to be hurt.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the perception that others have hurt me is coming from my mind, which is trying to abdicate my full self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to make others 'think bad' about people whom I perceived have hurt me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as 'feeling hurt', whenever I see/perceive people not acknowledging me as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as 'feeling hurt', whenever I see/perceive people disregarding me as an equal.
When and as I see myself becoming 'hurt', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is an emotion that I am generating myself within myself, therefore I release the trigger points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop feeling hurt and blaming others for making me feel this way, as I realise and understand that I am solely responsible for the way that I am experiencing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame/judge people, when/as I see/perceive them disregarding me/not acknowledging me as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, annoyed, scared, resentful and vengeful, when/as I see/perceive people disregarding me as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for other people to acknowledge me as an equal, instead of realising and understanding that only when I treat others as equals will I be acknowledged as an equal too.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and feel less than and inferior, when/as I see/perceive people not acknowledging me as an equal.
When/as I see/perceive others not acknowledging me as an equal, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that it is me who is making me feel unequal, therefore I release the point of inequality with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to regard me as an equal, instead of realising that I have to regard him as an equal first, in order to get acknowledged as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip and talk shit about other people in order to impress my partner and make him like me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about other people and look for their mistakes, so I could point them out to my partner and within that make myself superior and more than, so that he would like me more.
When and as I see myself thinking/talking about other people, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am thinking and talking about others so that I would not have to face myself and my own shit, therefore I immediately bring the point back to self, apply self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop focusing on others and focus only on myself and my own process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than, when/as I see/perceive my partner/other people not wanting to talk to me and interact with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anger, blame, judgement, resentment and vengefulness, when/as I see/perceive my partner/others not wanting to talk to me and interact with me, instead of simply remaining here in breath and not allowing myself to go into inferiority.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and afraid of 'loosing communication', when/as I see/perceive my partner/other people not wanting to talk to me and interact with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not being able to effectively communicate with my partner/other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to validate myself and make myself superior within communication with my partner/other people, instead of realising that I am creating friction and resistance within doing so, this defeating my purpose of equalising myself.
When and as I notice myself wanting to make myself superior and more than within communication with my partner/other people, I stop and I breathe. I do not allow myself to go into superiority, as I realise and understand that this is my inferiority complex due to being fat manifesting itself in the opposite polarity, therefore I release the trigger points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop all inferiority, fear and superiority within myself when communicating with other people, as I realise and understand that they only create friction and resistance within communication, which disables me to share myself and communicate myself effectively.



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Anna
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Re: Hilda's blog

Post by Anna »

Cool Hilda!



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Post by hilda rac »

Where will I live?

I have a fear and it revolves around not having a home and not knowing where I will be living in the future. I am all alone, and since I am not buying into the whole 'love' deal, I am not eligible to partner up with someone and lie to them for an unspecified amount of time (until they get it themselves) just to be able to live somewhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried about and afraid of not having anywhere to live in the future, instead of allowing myself to walk breath by breath within and as the physical and identify and see what routes are accessible and available for me to take.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and jealous of people whom I perceive to be 'safe' in terms of having their own home, instead of realising that I am limiting myself with jealousy and spitefulness and disabling myself to do something about it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/define/perceive people who I perceive are not willing to share what I perceive as their 'good fortune' with me as selfish and not understanding.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I can only have safety of 'my own home' if I have a partner to build that home with me, instead of realising that I am the sole creator of my experience and therefore only I am responsible for it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a partner so that we could have a home together, instead of realising that I am playing into a belief system and following a preprogrammed path of partnership within capitalism, where one needs a partner in order to survive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that one needs a partner in this world in order to survive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate and define having a partner with having a home and consequential safety.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate and define having one's own home with safety and security within this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind make my partner responsible for my living arrangements, instead of realising how I am abdicating my self-responsibility in doing so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like no one cares for me because no one cares where I live, instead of realising that I am giving into a mechanism of self-pity and breathing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pity myself for not having my own home, instead of taking it breath by breath within and as the physical and see what I can do about my situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for not having my own home, instead of realising that feeling sorry for myself is actually disabling me from acting and investigating what I can do for myself.
Feeling sorry - giving into the situation and abdicating my self-responsibility for my own survival and living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that feeling sorry for myself means that I am giving up in a given situation, and am making others responsible for my own survival and living, and that is not acceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the mechanism of "feeling sorry for myself", instead of realising that I am putting myself up for failure within it by abdicating my absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my absolute self-responsibility by feeling sorry for myself in a given situation.
When and as I see myself starting to feel sorry for myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that feeling sorry for myself means that I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility, therefore I release the trigger points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and expose it within myself as the abdication of self-responsibility that it is.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive home as a place where I am safe from the outside world, instead of realising that I am separating myself from the world by fearing it and wanting to be safe inside a home.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the world within my fear of not being safe in the world and not having my own home.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define the world as something separate from me and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the world as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that the world is out to get me, and I have to protect myself inside a home that I defined as separate from the world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attack my partner within my fear of not being able to survive alone in this world with blame when/as I see/perceive that he doesn't want to help me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I cannot survive alone without a partner in this world, instead of realising that I am limiting myself within this belief and abdicating my absolute self-responsibility and ability to take care of myself and find solutions for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as unable to survive alone without a partner in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear surviving alone without a partner in this world, instead of realising that I am limiting and disabling myself to act within this fear.
Family
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define myself as 'all alone in this world', because I perceive that my family has forsaken me, instead of realising that I am defining myself with not having a family and longing for protection within such a group.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be able to define myself with a family and wish to have a family that I could run to, instead of realising that I am wanting to run away from having to face myself in absolute self-responsibility by wanting to have a family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my family has forsaken me, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself within that perception, instead of realising that I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility by doing so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as forsaken by my family in order to be able to feel sorry for myself and not have to take absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad, inferior and disappointed because I perceived that my family has forsaken me, instead of realising that I was feeling disappointed because I couldn't get them to take care of me as I wanted to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my family should always take care of me, instead of realising that money is the glue that binds families together, and as soon as moneyruns out, the family is destroyed and it is every man for himself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel spiteful towards the construct of family within this world and feel jealous of those that have families, because I perceive that they have an easier survival within this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that family is a construct that makes it easier for individuals to survive in this world, instead of realising how it is keeping up the separation, wars, famine and violence within this world by favouring some people over others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a positive connotation to the word 'family'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word family within my fear of not having a family and not being safe within this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge against my family, because I perceived that they had forsaken me, instead of realising that I am angry because I want to abdicate my absolute self-responsibility and make my family responsible for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a family because I perceive that it is easier to survive within this world when one has a family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word family within my belief that it is easier to survive in this world when one has a family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word family within my belief that it offers protection and my desire to have the protection of a family so that I wouldn't have to be absolutely responsible for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel forsaken by my family, instead of realising that I am generating this emotion within my wish to abdicate my absolute self-responsibility, so I wouldn't have to take care of myself by myself in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel all alone and vulnerable within my inability to manipulate people to my whims, instead of realising how this feeling of aloneness and feeling sorry for myself is me trying to manipulate myself into a victim position, where I am not responsible for my thoughts and consequential actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself with the feeling of aloneness, instead of realising that I am hiding within this excuse from myself and from having to take absolute self-responsibility, because I realise and understand that I am physically fine, and all troubles that I am having - I have created for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of taking full responsibility for my thoughts and consequential actions, instead of realising that I can only trust myself within absolute self-responsibility.
When and as I see myself wanting to blame another for my own thoughts and actions, I stop and I breathe. I do not allow myself to blame, instead I release my thoughts with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
When and as I see myself going into self-pity over not having a home or a family, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that 'home' and 'family' are definitions of the mind, they have nothing to do with me physically breathing here. Therefore I release the trigger point of self-pity with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
When and as I see myself wanting to blame other people and call them selfish for not wanting to share their 'good fortune', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that blame is a mind mechanism that keeps me from taking absolute self-responsibility, therefore I release the trigger points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I realise and understand that blame is a mechanism that keeps me from taking absolute self-responsibility and responsibility for my world, therefore I commit myself to stop all blame within myself and my world.
When and as I see myself wanting to blame my partner for my own situation, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am absolutely self-responsible, therefore any kind of blame is me abdicating that absolute self-responsibility. I release the trigger points for blame with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop blaming my partner for my own situation.
I commit myself to stop blaming other people, my family, my friends and my colleagues for my own situation, and I commit myself to stop comparing my situation to that of other people so that I could blame them and label them as selfish and within that feel sorry for myself - because I realise and understand that blaming and feeling sorry for myself is an abdication of my absolute self-responsibility.
I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness expose and remove all blame from within myself and my world and take absolute self-responsibility for myself, my thoughts and consequential actions.



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Anna
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Re: Hilda's blog

Post by Anna »

Cool Hilda.

Thanks for sharing.



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Post by hilda rac »

I, Monster

The pattern of fighting with my partner: I want to be in control, I want to dictate what he does, and If he doesn't do it, I will bite his head off, I will destroy him into nothingness. I threaten and yell and hit around, and I threaten with knives. I threaten to kill him and myself, because I don't care what happens to me or this existence. It can all go to hell, as far as I am concerned, as long as I am considered as 'right', even if my claim is absolutely ridiculous and stupid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by my desire to be in control and overpower my partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to excert and ensure my power over my partner by making him do things for me that I want him to do, and if he does them, then I have power over him, and if he doesn't, then I don't have power over him and I feel diminished and inferior, at which point I move into emotional manipulation again with feeling sorry for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to emotionally manipulate my partner with feeling sorry for myself, in order to sneakily get what I want anyway, because I didn't succeed in getting it by force.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have the right to force my partner into decisions with yelling, screaming and threatening him.
I'm blaming my mother for this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for me being a violent person, because she was a violent wife towards my father, instead of realising that I have accepted and allowed every program to exist within me, and I became what I hated about my mother.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate my mother for being a violent person towards my father and for diminishing his worth as a man.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define my father as a poor thing and unable to do anything about my crazy mother, and within that see him as inferior to her and powerless against her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mother that all men are bad and that I should hate them all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly and openly hate all men and want to overpower and win over them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as hatred towards men that stems from my hatred towards my father and my perception that he never accepted me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my father never accepted me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the desire to be accepted by my father as an equal being.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than, because I perceived that my father never accepted me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/Perceive that all men are like my father, and that I have to have the same masculine communication with all men, instead of realising that all men are different and I have ruined most (or all) of my relationships because I have judged all men to be the same as my father
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my childhood innocence perceive and define all men as my dad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see all men as my dad and equate all other men that I have seen with and as my dad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become violent and want to physically beat men, when they do not agree with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take revenge on all men for what I perceived my father did to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is ok to want to take revenge on all men for what one man has 'done to me'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to destroy all men and 'break their spirit', because I feel inadequate and inferior towards them because of my relationship with my father.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that fighting is normal in a relationship.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to accept violence in relationships as something normal in life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that if I don't become violent towards my partner, I will be overpowered by him like I was always overpowered by my father.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as overpowered by my father within our communication.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump at my partner and want to overpower him physically, whenever we do not agree on something.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is wrong for a man to hit a woman, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exploit this societal belief and attack my partners physically, because 'they won't hit me back anyway, they can't'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed and embarrassed of attacing my partners physically.
I realise and understand that it is unacceptable to physically attack another being, because I would not want to be physically attacked myself.
When and as I see myself becoming violent and agressive, I stop and I breathe. I do not allow myself to play my agression out, instead I release the trigger point with self forgiveness and I direct myself in breath.
When and as I see myself wanting to fight with my partner and blame my partner for anything, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that blaming other people is me not wanting to take absolute self responsibility, therefore I release the point of blame with self forgiveness and I direct myself in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten my partner that I will kill him.
My father used to throw that word aroud like it was a toy. "I will kill you, I will destroy you, I will make you piss blood, I will anihilate you."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten other people that I will kill them, if they do not conform to my wishes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is normal and ok to threaten other people with killing them, instead of realising that this is a pattern that emerges from my childhood, when my friends used to say that all the time, and is in no way acceptable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to and scared of my friends, when they were threatening to kill me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten people that I will kill them, so that they would feel inferior and scared of me, instead of realising that I would not want other people to do this to myself, therefore it is unacceptable to threaten people to kill them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become full of rage, whenever people/my partner do not agree with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as rage, whenever I cannot come to a point of agreement with someone.
When and as I see rage coming up within me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that rage is simply a program that makes me unable to communicate effectively with others, therefore I release it with self forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten my partner that I will stab him with a knife, if he doesn't comply with what I want.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be prepared to physically fight my partner for real, instead of realising that this pattern comes from me feeling inferior to my friends, when they were hitting me, and I wanted to inflict this on someone else as well, who is considered 'wrong', therefore I would always see my partner as 'being wrong', so that I could inflict on him what was inflicted on me so many years ago.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and scared of my friends, because they were hitting me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate my friends for hitting me, instead of realising that they were programmed by hostile families as well.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the desire for revenge towards my friends for hitting me, which later transformed into the desire for revenge towards my partner, because I perceived him as 'a friend', and I believed that friends hit each other.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive friendship as something dangerous, because friends will want to hit me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is normal for friends to hit each other.
I had a friend who didn't come from a violent family, and she never wanted to hit me. When I said to her that I will hit her, because I thought that she would not retaliate, I was utterly scared and surprised when she said that she would hit me back, therefore I never tried to hit her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pray on people whom I perceived as weaker than me to hit them and get back at them for what was done to me by completely different people.
I perceived the outer world as a unit, and myself as another unit, therefore whatever came from the world - I would give back into the world, but within this I always made other people (especially my partners) pay for what was done onto me by my parents and friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my violence out on my partners, instead of realising that I am angry at my friends and parents.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for not standing up for myself to my parents and my friends, when they were being violent towards me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner for not taking me into consideration when he made his choices, instead of realising that I am being jealous because I perceive that he has taken care of only his ass and went somewhere, where he will have fun without any care about what is going to happen to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become angry with my partner and blame him, whenever I perceive that he is not taking me into consideration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel alone in this world without a partner, instead of realising that I want a partner so that I would not have to face myself in absolute self responsibility.
When and as I see myself longing for a partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that wanting a partner and longing for a partner is an abdication of absolute self responsibility, therefore I release the point with self forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner has forsaken me in order to have fun himself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to my partner, because I perceive that he has only taken care of his own ass and not considered me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/define/perceive my partner as selfish, whenever I perceive that he doesn't take me into consideration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner should always take me into consideration and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to my partner, whenever I perceive that he doesn't take me into consideration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and violent, whenever I perceive that people are not taking me into consideration.
When and as I see myself wanting people/my partner to take me into consideration, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that wanting to be considered is a mechanism of inferiority and superiority, therefore I release the point of want with self forgiveness and direct myself in breath.



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Anna
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Re: Hilda's blog

Post by Anna »

Very cool Hilda. Can definitely relate.

Thanks for walking this point. Cool support for others as well.



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hilda rac
Posts: 158
Joined: 05 Jul 2011, 19:03

Re: Hilda's blog

Post by hilda rac »

wanting to let others know when I'm in a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud of myself, whenever a man wants to kiss me in public and show his affection to me, which means that he is not ashamed of me but proud to be with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner must be ashamed of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner is ashamed of me because of me being overweight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to be proud of me and be proud of being with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that my partner is ashamed of me and of being with me because I am overweight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself because I think/believe/perceive that my partner must be ashamed of me and cannot be proud of me because I am overweight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner cannot possibly like my body and me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with my parnter, because IIII believe that he cannot like me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my partner whenever he says that he likes me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to kiss me in public and hold my hand in public, so that other people would see that we are a couple
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for other people to know that I am in a relationship, whenever I am in one
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to the rest of the world and exhilarated, whenever I am in a fresh relationship
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to the rest of the world, whenever I am not in a romantic relationship
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be in a romantic relationship, where the man will be all nice to me and gentle and hug me and kiss me and appreciate me, instead of realising that I can give all those things to myself
When and as I see myself wanting to be in a romantic relationship, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that romantic relationships are a preprogrammed design, made to keep me forever occupied with finding that 'one person' who will 'make me complete', so that I wouldn't realise that I already am complete.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive myself as incomplete, when I am not involved in a romantic relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must be involved in a romantic relationship in order to be seen/perceived as 'normal' in this world, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I'm not normal, when I am not involved in a romantic relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative connotation to the word 'relationship'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word relationship by defining relationships as hard, when I am in fact jealous of people who can get whomever they want because they 'look good'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that people who I define as good-looking have no problems getting a partner that they want, and witihn this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of people whom I perceive have no problems getting a partner that they want



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Post by hilda rac »

This is a post with revised self-forgiveness from the blog post Where will I live


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/define/perceive people who I perceive are not willing to share what I perceive as their 'good fortune' with me as selfish and not understanding, not seeing, realising and understanding that they are also being directed by systems of survival.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that one needs a partner in this world in order to survive, instead of realising that this belief is part of the mind's construct of survival and is therefore not real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate and define having a partner with having a home and consequential safety, instead of seeing, realising and understanding that those concepts are of the mind and have nothing to do with physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate and define having one's own home with safety and security within this world, instead of seeing, realising and understanding that the whole planet is my home and wanting security is my fear of not having a safe future guaranteed and that 'home' is a concept of the mind and this capitalistic system, where home is defined as a place where one can be safe in an unsafe world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define this world as unsafe and within that I forgive myself for being afraid of the world due to my perception of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define home as a place where I can be safe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a positive connotation to the word 'home'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word home by fearing that I will never have my own home, instead of realising that I AM my own home.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as unable to survive alone without a partner in this world, where I accepted and allowed myself to be consumed by the idea of ‘having a partner’, thus using blame, manipulation, resentment and anger to have my idea manifest, not seeing realizing and understanding that I am trying to implement an idea that I had created about ‘having a partner’, and using any means possible to have my idea manifest and through this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to justify my actions to myself just in order for me to have my idea of ‘having a partner’ manifest.
I commit myself to stop blaming my partner for my own situation, and thus accepting and allowing myself to take full responsibility for the decisions that I had made.



Maya
Posts: 1267
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:56

Re: Hilda's blog

Post by Maya »

hilda rac wrote:I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as unable to survive alone without a partner in this world, where I accepted and allowed myself to be consumed by the idea of ‘having a partner’, thus using blame, manipulation, resentment and anger to have my idea manifest, not seeing realizing and understanding that I am trying to implement an idea that I had created about ‘having a partner’, and using any means possible to have my idea manifest and through this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to justify my actions to myself just in order for me to have my idea of ‘having a partner’ manifest.
Cool self realization.



User avatar
hilda rac
Posts: 158
Joined: 05 Jul 2011, 19:03

Re: Hilda's blog

Post by hilda rac »

Maya wrote:
Cool self realization.
Yeah, but Esteni did that one, no credit for me, thanks :)



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