You can continue from that self forgiveness point asking yourself why have I accepted and allowed myself to want to run away or evade being clean/sober or 'the natural' state within yourself in your mind and physical body, you can being writing about the decisions you've made in your life, the choices, the actions, the relationships and the experiences that you've participated in in order to now be discontented with having to be sober. All I can say about this is that not having to depend on any drug is the necessary process for self-liberation, as it does suck having to depend on something to continually feel 'high' or be in such 'normal high' state. So, I can only encourage you to be strong throughout this detox process and instead support you to self-forgive all of what I just suggested to open up above, and utilize the detox process to also 'detox' through self-forgivenessI forgive myself that I allowed my self to be discontented with my consciousness in its natural state.
That is awesome John, so cool to hear!Well, I found a place to "live". Rent I can aford. I moved in with a friend and his family. Its been 3 weeks and it seems to be working out well.
If you have a look at the type of depiction of 'family life' you're imagining here, its the fairytale fantasy story that we are brought up with through the movies. It's not real. So when desires such as that one comes up, that's when it assists to be brutally and gently self-honest with yourself, to remind yourself: "Where are these thoughts coming from? Oh right, it's the hollywood fantasy, it's not real. Okay, back to reality John." So you want stop as soon as you see yourself entertaining the thoughts, because the more you allow yourself to participate in them, the more they will accumulate to emotional experiences.Things are better now however I feel very depressed. I miss what we had,they feeling of true family working together for servival. Feeling we could servive anything as long as we stick together,the three of us as one.
The question is: does a child need his mother if that mother is not well enough to be there for him? I would say no. I would say that a father can be just as caring to a child as a mother can. So perhaps he doesn't need his mother. Maybe that's a myth.I miss her and I know he does too. A child needs his mother. This saddens me greatly.
Hi John, fist of all Anna her suggestion to keep yourself here within the physical reality is a valuable one. Once you manage to do so you will see that things are doable. Secondly, in relation to working what is here within your physical reality, also wondering about your partners death before it occurs may pull you back into a depression, which is the opposite of what your child needs. Here is a link to Sunette's blog that might help you get insides of what is happening within your mind when preoccupying yourself with the wondering.It sucks wondering if today is the day I will get the inevitable bad news. How do I deal with the pain that will bring.
And great John about the fact that you found yourself and your child another place to live, this must be proof to yourself that you're capable of moving/directing yourself.…Death is Death, one cannot in fact go to the absolute of saying “I Fear Death” – if one only react to the deaths of those in the inner-circle, and not blink an eye to the Deaths of those in the second and last circle. If we’d REALLY ‘Fear Death’ – we’d be in a constant possession of FEAR with the extent of Deaths that manifest every second time goes by within/as this physical existence. So, if we do not ‘Fear Death’, but only “Fear the Death of ourselves and those in the inner-circle”…what is it that we’re actually fearing /reacting to???
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