I am currently testing this point with my 5-year old where when he brings up an expectation that he becomes excited within his imagined outcome, we discuss the consequences of participating in these expectations where I use his past experiences and/or my past experiences within disappointment as an example. What I have found interesting within this process is that he is most receptive when I draw from my own experiences and point out my mistakes rather than his.
Very cool support here, taking the point back to self when working with children. I enjoy talking with children and sharing my stories with them, most likely applying this same point:telling my story what I realized and how I stood up from it. One thing I've suggested to my sister is to develop an equal relationship with her child because the moment the 'mommy-authority' role kicks in, a relationship based on antagonism and rebelling against parents will ensue, like I did for the most part. In your example, we're able to Learn from parents and their experience and I see that's mostly what we do here or should resort to: explaining how we stood up from a certain experience with how we walked the point - so we do the same with children equally.
Another point is how I would deliberately pick on what I perceived were my mother's insecurity with regards to 'not being appreciated' which was a usual conflict in the past with her, and so I would deliberately tell stories of how I had fun going with her sister /my aunt to museums and book shops and enjoying being with them, because my mother was the opposite of all of that so I would deliberately use this point to show how I had a 'cool time' with others and how other parents were so close to their children, etc. all in all as a point of me wanting to experience that, but at the same time the relationship was rather never the sugar sugar type of situation, which I only later on realized was actually quite cool. In this case, the reason why I was able to stop having these sort of problems with my mother was of course because I begun process, but she also started doing her 'own way' to support herself, to stop being co-dependent and expecting to be 'loved by their children' and wanting to keep us by her side all the time, and we're able to discuss the point as well and cross reference what I've learned/ realized and what she's now seeing on her side as well.
Well at least on my case she is well aware that I am not following at the moment the usual 'lifestyle,' but supports me as well as my father in what I do, which is actually very cool, but there's also been a process on Their side and that has enabled our communication in an effective manner, because I am no longer speaking from wanting to 'change them' but rather share the patterns that I see within me that I realize they have played out as well, and that makes it quite cool to share. Lol, I remember my mother's face this time when she approached me to ask for some perspective on a certain point she was facing, which is like 'breaking the norm' of how children are supposed to ask parents and not the other way around, but as I always explain: hey we are human beings, equals, so there's no mother-daughter thing going on here and that's what has been supportive as well, even if at first they really had a hard time with my first radical "change" at the beginning of my process, which only later on I realized how it wasn't meant to be 'toward them' but within me/ who I am within everything that I do, say, act on and toward others.
So in general I see how it takes two to tango within changing these relationships, because if she would have remained within the old patterns, things would have been more difficult to establish a point of communication, and it is not yet 'absolute' since there are still loooots of things that I see would create more consequences from sharing due to not seeing the 'greater picture,' but they agree with the process we walk at Desteni, also listen to Life Reviews and my mother says how my father listens attentively as if he was suddenly like a little boy being reminded of things that he's doing and not taking responsibility for, which I find it cool of course.
So, that's a general update on my family situation, the same with my sisters, I've had long talks with my sister and her relatively new motherhood and she's starting to consider herself more within the primary role that will affect her child in who she is in its entirety, I will suggest the parenting interviews
to her for sure.
Lol, before I was really on my way to be the ultimate black sheep of the family and direct my life to be exactly the opposite of what I thought they wanted me to be like, I mean in a way that might be so, but it is not from the starting point of 'going against my family,' any longer, but simply realizing that what I have to do is not precisely in accordance to any regular expectations they could have had on me, and that such point has nothing to do with me actually, but it's their own expectations to deal with, which is cool now that they have come to accept that/make peace with it. But, that's another story and a bit off topic here, however it actually stems from wanting to not be praised and rebelling against that, which is also cool to consider when over-spoiling children and children going to the opposite, just to maintain the relationship of friction and conflict that we tend to always create at a mind level toward anything and anyone.
Thanks for sharing!