bullying: teen commits suicide

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kevina P
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Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 21:59

bullying: teen commits suicide

Postby kevina P » 15 Oct 2012, 11:22

This is the video and news link: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Amanda ... story.html

My past experience with bullying and what I have learned.

When I think of my childhood years, the only memories that pop up are the ones where I was always a victim of bullying or unfair treatment. AT the age of 3-5, I remember being in kidergarten and my teachers always punished me or screamed at me for no particular reason. I was never a trouble maker, but one of those girls who was quiet and really good and refused to cause any trouble or argument. Yet, it seemed that I was punished almost every day. My teacher would come up with a stupid reason just to keep me away from other kids during lunch by making me sit outside the classroom, lonely and miserable. AT that young age, I never understood why all this was happening to me. I became a victim and days after days situations would just continue to unfold which would create more isolation and misery in me. When I was 8-11, I was a victim of both physical and emotional bullying. I took it all in as a victim, trying to figure out why couldn't the world just be a happier place to live and not where mean people are allowed on this planet.

It is only now, when I have taken more personal development courses that I realized why all this was happening to me. Basically, children do come with their own identities which are influenced by their environment. My parents had always been victims and I feel that I ended up as so because I saw them the way they are and role modelled them and became eventually like them. I took everything in like my mum does, avoiding having to stand up for herself and direct herself into doing what was best in that situation.

I have come to realize a key thing about this whole episode of bullying. The main reason why bullies exist is that bullies see things in you that you have trouble seeing for yourself, eg. fear, anxiety, insecurities and so on. Eg, let's say you are wearing something on a particular day and a bully starts making fun of the way you dress. One would then begin to investigate what is it that this bully is trying to convey to them and then take 100% responsibility for correcting it. That does not mean that you have to CHANGE who you are just so that you can mould yourself to try to attempt to fit in and not be bullied again. Some people for instance, would be bullied about the way they dress. So what ends up happening is that they focus on making sure that they are dressing perfectly, from the standpoint of wanting to not be bullied again. And in that, what they end up doing is never living their life, but living someone else's life, in this case being the bully.

Instead, one would simply question their thoughts, feelings and behaviours towards the way they dress. So they would then ask themselves : " What is it that I fear or am concerned about with regards to my clothes/appearance? Am I happy in these clothes? Or I am wearing these clothes to specifically hide behind something, like an insecurity or fear I have such as a body mark that I want to hide from the rest of the world?" Once the victim has investigated about what is it that this bully is indirectly trying to convey about them, they would then direct themselves into finding the solution to the cause of the problem and fix it.

http://bullyingisunacceptable.blogspot. ... lying.html

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Re: bullying: teen commits suicide

Postby Kristina » 15 Oct 2012, 15:09

Hey Kevina - there are 2 recent Life Reviews on EQAFE, one from the perspective of being bullied and one from the bully. Consider checking out if you are able - perhaps more insight to the ones you have already placed.

I would suggest, with the memories you have of being a child and being 'bullied' by your teacher - to look at the memories and the experience of yourself within it - to ensure that you are not holding onto to 'being the victim' and letting go of what has happened in the past. I would also consider that yes, while the bullies might be revealing parts of ourselves that are within us - as they are a reflection of us, and do in fact show us how we are only bullying ourselves - I would also consider that perhaps their reason/starting point for bullying is within themselves alone, and not necessarily about the people they bully.. and so to consider other beings in this world that are always facing who they are as the nature of themselves.

But yes - interesting points you have placed to consider within the characters of bullies - thanks for sharing

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