after going through that, if you can update later on what you get from it?"So, finding the reasons behind wanting to drink is by far a good start to then see more of 'who you are' towards alcohol, not so much to judge the substance in itself. It's always about the relationships we create with the drugs that are the problem, the drugs just 'are' we always have a choice to use them or not, and that's where self responsibility exists."
Thanks! That was helpful to read through. I didn’t consider or was aware of any of of the points that she brought up in her response. I clearly have to go more in-depth in looking at this and the material that’s available on the forum. This is a point I’m going to have to write a lot more about and finding the starting point as to why I stilll have the need to want to drink/smoke.Hi Kavish, there is a subforum called Addiction Support. That might be more relevant for you, assuming you want to look at it from the lens of addiction. There are some already some cool posts and support there that direct the point. I recommend checking out Marlen's Response in this thread: http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=129&t=8276
She covers it quite deeply, and her closing remarks are worth reposting here:after going through that, if you can update later on what you get from it?"So, finding the reasons behind wanting to drink is by far a good start to then see more of 'who you are' towards alcohol, not so much to judge the substance in itself. It's always about the relationships we create with the drugs that are the problem, the drugs just 'are' we always have a choice to use them or not, and that's where self responsibility exists."
I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking.While doing the process (dip lite) should you stop all consumption of these things ? I’ve had the desire to drink or smoke but wonder how this affects the process and the consequences of it. Should the goal be to stop it all completely, can you dabble in it here and there ?
Thanks for the detailed response! Since I started the ‘proccess’ It was a huge point I was fighting with. I tried drinking quite a few times while attempting to do the 4 count breath and being aware of the thoughts/feelings/emotions/ideas/beliefs/memories/projections coming up inside of me as I doing what ever I was doing in that state, but it never worked, I always ended up lost in the mind once buzzed/drunk.Hi Kavish
What was supportive for me at the time when I started my process was to make that, let's say 'radical' decision to quit all addictions - except for coffee at the time, but now I am also done with that one. Why? As Gabriel, said, it became part of my stance and my decision to change my life around and really get to experience totally 'me' without any fogs or suppression caused by weed or alcohol going on. So to me, it was a point of understanding that I was committing to live what's best for myself. I really didn't have much 'cravings' except for the occasional 'smell' I would get from people around me and so on, but then I would bring myself back to my decision, my self-commitment and my own understanding of 'why I decided to stop doing it.' This strengthen my self-trust a lot. Till this day I can say that it's one of those things I can feel most 'proud' of if you will by sticking to my word and not really going 'back to it' ever again, especially weed.
With Alcohol, there was a time I was super strict and I didn't drink not even a drop. But then I decided to test out how I'd do by drinking say 1 beer every now and then, since in my case - long story but true - alcohol consumption was mostly due to liking the taste of it, only through a brief period in my early teens did I seek the 'high' from alcohol, but afterwards - and this is quite early on around the age of 14 that I stopped 'getting drunk', it was about the enjoyment of it. So, I basically tested myself with the alcohol consumption in being able to drink one beer for example every now and then and even with that, it was only quite a specific kind and not really something I'd drink to just 'get an experience' but once again, because of the taste.
Now, I mostly dislike having to go through any sort of alcoholic experience to be honest, it is just not something that my body 'likes,' so that also entails of course not overdoing it and not making it a 'habit' of doing so every week or so. And to me it wasn't so much of a 'going out' or socializing, I could do it by myself in going to a place to enjoy a moment or with live music. What happened? Well, the truth is that specific hand crafted kind became more and more expensive - so, I decided I would not spend more than say 1.5 dollars on that so, the moment it tripled the price, I stopped doing it, because I care to look at what I spend my money on as well, and prefer to buy stuff that nurtures me And currently since I'm pregnant, I simply don't go out much or
Something I have been discussing - yep mostly in spanish currently in a podcast - is about outgrowing addictions. This is also something I talk about with my buddies, because for example by taking the decision to change your life, change your habits to improve your life in general, you will start seeing which activities - or lack thereof, like boredom as you mention - are not really something that contributes to your life, they will - or may - start feeling like 'old habits' from an 'old self' or a previous version of yourself that was less aware, less considerate perhaps of taking care of your own body. Something I've been discussing with one of my trainees is precisely outgrowing the habit of say 'once a week going out to drink' by deciding to instead do stuff that is more supportive for his body. His lifestyle has changed into being more physically active, doing several 'sports' like activities and he's noticed how when deciding to do 'a few drinks' or taking some more alcohol in one day, it is quite noticeable in his body, the 'icky' experience alcohol creates and even in his own awareness, so he's now realizing how even if he kind of 'fears' saying 'I won't drink ever again', he's more like realizing that it may just be one of those habits of the past which he would do at times out of boredom or out of believing it was the only way to socialize.
Here what it is all about is the famous 'starting point' checking. To see 'who am I' in the drinking, who am I in the smoking or of any other activity that you may be perhaps 'hooked on' doing. If it is something that's controlling you, that you believe 'you need,' or that you simply do because you don't give yourself any other direction and just 'resort to it,' then it means it's something you can start investigating in self honesty. Hence the example I gave with how I currently approach alcohol with not doing it out of 'wanting to get the alcohol high' or 'wanting to socialize' or 'just get lost' or whatever - but to me it's like similar to taking a slice of super sugary cake lol, can't over do it, can enjoy the taste but that's it. Weed is definitely by far a thing that in my life is just a NO GO - perhaps in a very radical way, but it is mostly because of the level of suppression and lostness that I actually realized I was in once I got out of it. So I may have to 'de-satanize' it to be honest, but that's where I'm currently at.
So, I share these examples so that it doesn't sound too 'rough' to say 'you have to quit altogether' as a 'must do.' It's a very personal decision and it really goes hand in hand with 'where you're at' in your process. To me it's just something that it's definitely 'out of my sight' for now and I mostly also enjoy discussing with people how they get 'trapped' in these kinds of habits and finding ways to outgrow them by creating new habits, dedicating the time to more self-assisting activities that will simply make the 'addiction' point obsolete in general.
Even if my response was outlined from another discussion, I consider that I can still share some articles you may not be aware of:
The Long Lasting Effects of Marijuana
http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blo ... -marijuana
Ok, feel free to ask if something is not clear, I enjoy assisting others and yes also myself in finding some ways to see 'through it' as well. Take care and enjoy your process
No one can say 'what is right' and 'what is wrong' for YOU because that's not what this process is about. Is about YOU and your self-honesty. So who are you in those moments of being offered a drink? are there wants and desires? are there fears and resistances? have you ever gone without alcohol? are you afraid to stop it? are you afraid of what others will think if you say no to being offered a drink?You said ..‘Hence the example I gave with how I currently approach alcohol with not doing it out of 'wanting to get the alcohol high' or 'wanting to socialize' or 'just get lost' or whatever - but to me it's like similar to taking a slice of super sugary cake lol, can't overdo it, can enjoy the taste but that's it.’
There’s specific scenarios where one might end up in a situation like a gathering/party/birthday etc where every single individual is drinking and they offer you a drink/beer/shot, would it be ok to take it as long as your starting point is like you said, not to actually have the drunk/buzzed experienced ? But take the offering and keep it moving. Currently I have no desire to drink or especially smoke weed but I look at specific scenarios like that and think what would I do in that situation now due to starting the process. I did see the ‘design of alcohol video’ where Sunette Spies said don’t even take one drop of it and avoid if possible, lol, so I wanted to be 100% sure. Thanks!
Thanks That was a big help and brought clarity to the point. I still have to make an account for eqafe but as soon as I do I’ll watch that video!Yep! What Kristina said, I agree. And as a note here, some of the older videos may sound too radical at times or too absolutist in a way that it may seem quite dogmatic how to approach certain things. The information is valid, but it is also to not just 'blame alcohol' or any other drug for 'starting up the patterns and programming again' or that kind of idea, because now we realize that there is a lot more directive power that we have over ourselves and so in how we decide to experience, who we decide to be in every situation.
So, the question Kristina shared here are quite relevant to consider and test out, so that you get to also know yourself and test out how things go with having a new starting point in having such social drink so to speak and observe yourself, your body, what emerges in your mind, how you generally may feel, and then that will be your own response as to what is it that you want to continue living, doing or experiencing and what not.
A very supportive explanation of 'where we stand' in relation to the mind and what is the purpose of this process, as well as understanding the intricacies of the relationship between the patterns, addictions we face and what it takes to change them is laid out in this audio, so if you can purchase it - or have Eqafe Unlimited - you can check it out https://eqafe.com/p/quantifiable-change ... s-part-418
There you will hear how 'stopping the mind' - the same as stopping certain patterns or addictions'- is not the point in itself, but how to stand as the directive principle within our mind, being and body. This is to expand on the point of how process is about taking directive principle of ourselves, more so than trying to 'shut down' the mind or 'stop the mind' as it could have been initially understood. And it explains in detail how to live this process out then in reality to change.
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