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Community building

Posted: 21 Jan 2019, 23:32
by Axel
Hi all,

I know the Desteni farm in South Africa is a place where Destonians live and work together and support each other. I was wondering if anyone know other places on this planet where Destonians also live and work together or whether the Desteni farm SA is the only such place.

I am asking this because I feel for many years now that I miss the support of people who walk the same path like myself but even though I travelled many countries over past years, I have not found such a group.

If anyone knows of such a place other than SA, or has an interest in setting one up, please let me know.


Re: Community building

Posted: 22 Jan 2019, 06:09
by Kristina
HI Axel,

There are destonians all over the world, some living close to each other, some far from each other... no other destonian specific farms... yet:) The cool thing about the internet and our group online is you are able to connect to so many people from all over the world and as you get to know people, you build relationships with people, the interactions could expand into the physical. There have been lots of destonian meetups throughout the years - those in Europe, and those in the States/Canada/Mexico. There are even a few in Australia who get together. There is lots of potentials for us to create an environment where more of us can be together in the physical, we just have to be patient and persistent.

Though I think it's also important to investigate where you can support yourself more, because many of us walked alone for many years without the physical support of each other, yet online, here on the forums, through our blogs and other sharings, we have supported ourselves and each other, showing ourselves and each other we are not alone. So what is it you think you are really missing? I mean I get it... I've had moments where I want nothing more to just live with destonians, thinking it would be easier, or more beneficial to me... but the reality is I am here. I am not living with other destonians (besides my partner) and while I want to create a similar farm environment for myself and others, it's not here yet... so what can I do in the meantime to support myself and others?

What do you think you would be get from that type of living that you are not getting now and is there perhaps a way you can GIVE to yourself what you are looking in that sort of community living setting?

Re: Community building

Posted: 22 Jan 2019, 18:09
by Axel
Hi Kristina (and all),

thanks for your comment. Yes, there are many ways to get involved and connect with other Destonias through the internet, blogs, vlogs, etc. However, I believe living together in the physical allows one to face a couple of issues that do not show up so easily on the internet. Here (on the web), you can just step back and leave the chat if things get a bit uncomfortable and you are faced with issues that you dont want to see about yourself. It is easy to disregard other peoples advice and what they reflect back to oneself if you are not in physical proixmity, facing each other directly. You can be stuck in your mind and I think it could be very helpful to live together with other Destonians in order to be confronted with those patterns that you (I) hide from yourself all to easily. So I was wondering if others feel the same.

But yes, it is not HERE yet :-) So I am taking your advice to look what is HERE already and how I can support myself and those around me with what actually is HERE.

Thanks again. We will see where this is going :-)

Re: Community building

Posted: 24 Jan 2019, 20:03
by Marlen
Hi Alex and cool to see you around again.

I take your words here:
Here (on the web), you can just step back and leave the chat if things get a bit uncomfortable and you are faced with issues that you dont want to see about yourself. It is easy to disregard other peoples advice and what they reflect back to oneself if you are not in physical proixmity, facing each other directly.
So that's what you can start off here, it's always a matter of self honesty. Even if you were in 'physical close proximity,' I've seen myself how it doesn't change the fact that you can still decide to not see the point, dismiss it or hide away, I share this to consider that there's no idealization or projection of 'how things would be' if living among people walking this process. You can definitely already change this pattern you've identified- or perhaps experienced before first hand - and tackle it, take it on and break through that which you don't want to face or push through the discomfort and not leave the chat, but actually will yourself to participate as you see it then as part of breaking these current limitations in you - or that you've identified. This seems like something 'easy' to consider perhaps since you are still only 'online' there, but, I've seen for myself how these seemingly 'simple' decisions still reflect who I decide to be and what I decide to participate on, even at the 'confort' of my own chair and my keyboard, lol.

Remember that self-honesty is about who you are in what you do, this means, it's not about where you live or with whom that would make this process easier or more accesible, or a better place to change and face yourself. At the same time I can say, yes it sure is and can be that, but it all depends on how and who one decides to be in every moment. So, yes as Kristina explained, best to not wait for that or expect that as a possibility for now, and instead focus on perhaps participating more on the online platforms that are quite active online.

There's: here you will find some intereresting activity and also, you can join in on the chats which take place at your 8 pm currently if you are living in Germany, and they take place on you'll need to be logged in to participate.

And then there's the sharing of your blogs, the sharing and participating in discussions here on the forum. And from there, there's the actual coexistance with people around you, regardless of 'who they are' or 'where they're at' within themselves and their personal process... it's really all about ourselves. I know people in my country that really like the community living set up so, they go and seek to do that in their own ways, so that's something you can explore where you are living in and why not, sharing principles or aspects you like about the desteni principles with them and see how it goes when practically applying them.

Ok enjoy

Re: Community building

Posted: 25 Jan 2019, 01:52
by Axel
Thanks Marlen, for your input. Your suggestions are good starting points for further investigation :-)

Re: Community building

Posted: 25 Feb 2019, 06:29
by YoganBarrientos
Hey Axel
I'm Yogan by the way nice to meet you.
It is easy to disregard other peoples advice and what they reflect back to oneself if you are not in physical proixmity, facing each other directly.
So what struck me about this quote is how that is EXACTLY why being online is so helpful. Because the desteni tools work because it is about SELF-responsibility. It is not about trying to get someone else to take responsibility for you. So when you are online reading someone else's supportive words that you are heavily reacting to and then you apply self-forgiveness and STAND, even when in that moment there is literally no force or pressure from anyone in your presence to make you, like you could easily just close the laptop and walk away... THAT is where your individual process shines and is a triumph.

So that's why interacting online is quite supportive for process. You Face more of YOU, yourself. And so the day you do interact in the physical real time, its actually much easier. Because don't get me wrong, real time physical change is tough. Like you are reacting NOW and have to change NOW. Whereas online you at have more space and time to work on points. I definitely see the merit to making process very PERSONAL at first, just you focusing and being with you. That's how I walked it. And then start with doing your own blog when you are ready and then vlogs and then expand from there.

Re: Community building

Posted: 23 Mar 2019, 03:48
by Axel
Hi Yogan,

nice to meet you too.

Yes, I see your point and I agree that there is a difference between being forced to face an issue because it comes through a physical encounter with somebody and chosing to face it based upon your own will, even if you dont have to. This point just came up in myself and I appreciate your comment here.

Thank you!