In terms of the last blog post in this thread - what I see would support you here, is to make writing a more consistent part of your day-to-day life. For instance, every day or every time you see yourself going back and forth or 'running in circles' in your mind in terms of what to do/what decision to make - write about it. Any thoughts, feelings, emotions that have been factoring in to your decision making, you can clear out with Self-Forgiveness so that you can see more clearly what's what - and make it easier to make a decision in clarity. The more you compound these experiences, the 'darker' your experience of yourself will be, because it's like you're accumulating unresolved issues and inner conflict day in and day out. Then - when an opportunity does arise to change/correct yourself, you'll be so much more clear/stable/directive within yourself to use that opportunity in self-directive actions.