Bernard's Passing Away

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Lindsay »

Day 433: Bernard Poolman is just a Character --> ... -just.html

Holy shit. What is there to say? What is there to write about an individual who has had such a profound influence on my entire existence, this entire existence as me, down to the very core and into the expanse of all of everything…what words can write of such profundity without defiling this existential impact?

And in this moment as I attempt to conjure up words to express my absolute and inexpressible gratitude…I realize that these words now will only express Bernard Poolman as a character, a character in a story, and thus I do not allow this, as it is not relevant at this point. So much has already been said, everything has already been said.

Therefore, I see it simple and direct…breath by breath, I move on…this is precisely what I see and live as myself especially and specifically with a keen sense of awareness since this character, Bernard, apparently ‘passed away’ a week ago today…what a fascinating expression: passed away. Away where? ‘Bernard’ didn’t go anywhere. The moment I ‘caught wind’ of his ‘passing’ I was silent within myself because I immediately saw that this doesn’t mean anything. I looked around the room. I touched the table. Everything is here.

Bernard too is a piece of my shattered self that I must bring back home, so this is what I walk. Each time I want to go cuddle up with my ‘Bernard Storybook’ or when I catch myself already flipping through the pages – I support myself to stop and breathe…to close the book of lies, because…Bernard didn’t go anywhere.

Yet…this idea of Bernard must be laid to rest. That is what must die and everything that I learned from this character is what I live as in every breath, as the living word that has no story, that I was witness to…as the story that came alive…so as to see with these eyes what I have always seen is possible for me to become…if I so decide. Now, as it has always been, I am still the one that must decide. However, my decision stood clear and absolute before Bernard’s ‘passing’ – Bernard passed the torch before his skin bag turned to ashes, and thus it is simple.

Keep moving. Keeping passing common sense to all the pieces of myself…keep reminding myself, and all as myself, to step out of the delusion, the character, the story…step by step we walk together to become the life we have always been, as Bernard’s character showed us so eloquently.

Bernard’s chapter has come to a close. It is time for the story to be over. It is time to get real. Once and for all.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by MartijndeGraaf »

Today I remember that when I met him on the farm at some point he told me, he expressed I'd rather say, that if it would be necessary for him to die to stop all abuse he wouldn't hesitate.
Never before in my 50+ years I have heard a person state he/she would die for some cause, let alone with absoluteness that leaves no doubt in my mind.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Maya »

Seeing the Potential we can become - Day 407 ... y-407.html

Bernard had this ability to see the potential in others, to guide and support us to see ourselves, the real self; he assisted us to see our strengths, develop/empower our natural skills and to overcome the limitations we have defined as ourselves so that we could really grow and establish our self standing  within the principle of that which is best for all life. 
Bernard stood as a temporary stability point for us all and in standing as our stability point he gave us the opportunity to investigate, explore and see who we are and what we have become, what we accepted and allowed and what we will no longer accept within ourselves and this world, how can we perfect ourselves, how can we change ourselves to stand as living examples, as a principle, of that which is best for all life.
When he died, I could no longer lean on Bernard as a stability point; I have to stand as a stability point. I could no longer wait till he expose a point within myself that I haven't dealt with; I have to expose me to myself and walk through the point. I could no longer be dependent on him as a point of trust; I must become a living trust. I could no longer depend on him to support me and others; I must stand as self-support and thus supporting others.
When he died, the stability point he stood as for me that I created within myself - died with him and in that moment, I shifted into instability within and as myself. To understand though, that I am by no means saying that ‘he stood as stability FOR me’, no. For those who have met Bernard, when you’re with him – it’s like he could with/through his words, open up inside you a part of you, you haven’t realized yourself/seen yourself as a potential that you can be/become. I hadn’t realized before he died how I had, within myself, believed that ‘it was Bernard and Bernard only keeping me stable’ – when, all the while, it was in fact a point already existent within me, a potential already existent within me. Then I realized - the stability that I had seen within Bernard and also experienced within myself when with him - stood as a potential; the stability I experienced when Bernard was around is the stability I can stand as, for and as myself - it is what I can become through an accumulation of moment by moment where I direct and support myself to face that which I have separated myself from, correct, align, change - which is actually what Bernard always said: 1+1+1+1 moment by moment by moment by moment, till I stand.
He said to me once: there will be a moment where a window would open and you will be able to see and make a decision; Make sure that the decision is that which add +1 to the equality equation and that which would result with an outcome that is best for all. The window that had opened up with Bernard's death is showing the potential. The potential of what I can become as a stable and aware human being in any given moment. Bernard temporarily stood as that stability and showed me, that I can stand in stability and in awareness in every breath and thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to accumulate moments of awareness and stability until I stand in any given moment as a living principle, a living example and to then thus give to others that which Bernard gave to me - the opportunity to realize the potential we can become.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Anna »

the stability I experienced when Bernard was around is the stability I can stand as, for and as myself - it is what I can become through an accumulation of moment by moment where I direct and support myself to face that which I have separated myself from, correct, align, change - which is actually what Bernard always said: 1+1+1+1 moment by moment by moment by moment, till I stand.
Very cool realization Maya. For me, what I found reflected in Bernard (meaning as a personal point I reflected onto him) was a point of Absolute Self-Honesty - the point of Brutal Self-Honesty. So it is cool to re-look at this point with this perspective that you've shared here. Because I didn't consider how I had it with/as me all along. And when Bernard died, this was a question that I asked within myself: Who is now going to be brutally honest -- and the only answer there is, is: we are, I will, through walking the process of establishing brutal self-honesty, one self-directed breath at a time.

Thanks for sharing.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Bella »

Cool points shared, well said - thanks!

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Fidelisspies »

Desteni Is a Principle - Not one Person ... erson.html

I have grown immensely ever since being part of the Desteni Process. There are many people part of this process and today I am going to give the spotlight on 2 people namely myself and Bernard.

I am sitting here looking for words to express how grateful I am for all the support I have received over the years from Desteni and Bernard, but no words really comes close. I have changed over the years – to go from a shy, silent type, with zero leadership skills to a person who works with people and has developed leadership and communication skills. This was something I thought I would never achieve in my life – being able to lead.

I have also developed a point of stability within myself. Before, I was so unsure of myself –always doubting myself and my abilities and mostly avoiding people. I had so much fear of the future and worried about it. The point of stability that I have is that I realized: no matter what comes my way – no matter what happens and no matter what I face – I am able to get past it, I am able to get through it. It may be difficult or something I have never faced before, but I trust myself that I am able to deal with it.

Now, you the reader may not fully grasp just how amazing this achievement is for someone like me, because you do not know who I was and how I was. I believed Self-trust was impossible for me, yet here I am. This is what Desteni is all about – YOURSELF! This is something that is greatly misunderstood by the cyberbullies and haters – I can attest to the fact that what they write are but opinions and beliefs based on …nothing substantial, because I write from over 8 years hands-on experience with walking and living the Desteni Tools as well as living with Bernard. I write from actual facts – with me as the living proof. I don’t know about you the reader, but I only go by facts.

The facts are these:

I have changed. I have developed a strength within myself that I never thought possible. And I did that myself. When you build something out of wood like a table you need tools, right? You will need a hammer and nails as tools to build this particular table. So once you are done building you say “I built this myself” – of course you could not have done this without the hammer and nails, you could not have built the table without the tools. This is what Desteni is – A tool to use to support and assist yourself to grow and build yourself. Who is Bernard within all of this? Here was a man that decided not to accept poverty, war, suffering , abuse and greed and all those fucked up things in this world as just something that is ‘acceptable’ / ‘the way life is supposed to be’ / ‘how humans have always been and will be’. See, we all simply say that suffering is a part of life – Bernard said it is unacceptable.

He lived his life investigating everything and kept what is good. He actually cared. Remember caring is not a feeling – caring is an action. He lived to find ways for all humans and animals to never suffer again. What he found as one of the problems is obviously humans – we cause the suffering of animals and to each other. So to change the world is to change the human and he started with himself. Then he shared what he found. He lived by a principle – to live according to what is best for all. People get confused when they read or hear “ best for all” – as if it is something alien and impossible. But it is simple – would you say that hurting another is what is best for all? No. Would you say that having water, housing and food is what is best for all? Yes

DSC_0201 Desteni is a group of people living by a principle – not by one person. Bernard is dead, but that does not change Desteni – Desteni is a group dedicating our lives to find ways to change this world into a place where suffering and abuse is non-existent. People say it is impossible, because that is very easy to say. They say it is unrealistic, because it is easy to say that – then they do not have to change who they are or do anything to MAKE it Possible. I have done the Impossible for myself with the TOOLS of Desteni. Impossible is the words I’m possible. Living by a principle of what is best for all is probably the most difficult thing you can face – that is why people turn to slander, because they are afraid to live like that. So – if you are dedicated and have guts and actually care about the billions that suffer as you read these words then join us. I am the living proof and fact of how effective the Desteni tools are.

It is not impossible to end suffering and abuse.

Join us
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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by sylvia »

Day 272 of 2555: releasing the picture of Bernard and continuing what it stood for

On Sunday, August 11th early in the morning, Bernard Poolman passed away, his heart stopped beating…

Last Sunday my parents were over for a visit and I had made an agreement with myself that I wouldn't constantly check my mail as a point of not being here. I'd muted the sound of my laptop and would therefore not be guided by distractions and that went actually pretty well. When my parents left around half past 9 that night, the normal peace returned in the house. We cleaned up and I decided to check my mail. My partner almost immediately asked if I had already read the mail from Robert and that annoyed me, because I'd like to start on the top of the mail list and go through the mails in a chronological order to not miss anything important. Finally I decided to read the mail first after my partner insisted me to do so. I could not believe what was written, a flash through my mind took me to the point of; it must be a joke or a test to see if we can stand and continue process without Bernard. But soon that was replaced by common sense, nobody would think of such a sick joke, that would simply not serve the best interest of all, to announce online the death of Bernard by his daughter Cerise on his own blog 'Creations Journey to Life', while someone is still alive. So Bernard's death is a fact.

Then I found out that I'd missed the chat that had taken place to answer all questions everybody had about the death of Bernard, in the moment I did experience this as having missed a funeral, a missed chance to be together with all who had known him. I decided to not give in to the fantasies of my mind and read the chat afterwards in the chat log. Although I couldn't give any input myself while reading the chat, it was a moment where I carefully read the words that I integrated within myself to fully understand the true impact of the loss of Bernard.

Bernard was a man that was hated or loved, there was no middle ground, which indicates the intensity of him walking this earth. When Bernard did something, he lived it after he had determined whether it was in the best interest for all in all ways. Which made him into a great example for all who were able to get to know him through his words. His words were for many unbearable to hear, it led them to the bone, while others couldn't get enough of the sound of his words, because they were able to hear his self-honesty and common sense. I've never experienced his voice as unpleasant and therefore I did play a lot of his interviews in my house, though my partner had some problems with Bernard's voice in the beginning, later on he could see where Bernard had touched upon and where he had instabilities inside. Which doesn't say anything about my stability and enjoying hearing Bernard's voice, I could hear it and at the same time I could see the points inside of me that needed attention. In the beginning Bernard's voice gave rise to images inside of me, about how he physically would look like. I felt quite confident at that time, about my ability to use a voice to determine how the person looked like. Blinded by this opinion I never actually saw how off I was in almost all cases, and so I was with Bernard. I saw a small man with dark eyes en dark hair in front of me, who was speaking according to me in an Indian-English accent. I really had a big laugh afterwards when I found out that the farm was situated in South-Africa and Bernard was a tall big man and more blond than dark with an Afrikaans accent.

I only encountered Bernard in chats and emails and never met him in person. I've asked myself if I'm missing this chance of ever meeting him in person, the chance to stand eye to eye with the incarnated message, that I've applied within my life. And I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter, the message is the message and it's up to me to integrate it into my life and to show it to others through my actions. De message of Jesus is mainly the foundation onto which Bernard has gone further and as which he has actually lived as a living example for anyone who wanted to see and hear. Which made him to me at a certain point like a big stick, more like: as he can do it, as he did it, what limitations do I put myself through in order to not do that what is in the best interest of all? Bernard continued saying: investigate for yourself, and yes, I started investigating even how difficult it was to gather that information in order to be able to say: this is what I discovered and that's why I stand as this point. I also learned to see what the consequences are of my actions when I do not act in self-honesty, and instead act as the result of my emotions/feelings/fears. And also when you do not see a point the first time it will return another time and another time in different forms till you get it and that's why this is such a great test to see how far you are within a particular point.

At some point the SRA course arose to do some structured process to assist us to realize ourselves. After about a year Bernard told us that it would be better for us to do a year full of mind constructs. We didn't master the mind construct yet in a sufficient way in order to progress and to come to understand ourselves and the world around us, but most of us were not looking forward to a whole year of mind constructs. I even saw it as a punishment for not being good enough at it yet and I felt resistances, but here Bernard served as a big stick, because none of us would have asked for this all by ourselves. Some did it within a year and others took a bit longer, but it was the biggest gift ever that we could gift ourselves.

Besides serving as a big stick, Bernard was to me a sort of conscience at a distance, I asked myself what he would do or how he would see something. You'll understand that such depending behaviour eventually leads to mind fucks and fears and therefore I had to say goodbye to that behaviour. Yet his words were still important to me, because I knew his words were absolute and mine not yet. The moment I started blogging and Bernard started sharing my blogs on Facebook, that made me proud of myself and gave me the space to continue. Also this behaviour I had to let go since it wasn't constructive behaviour. Bernard was like a father for everyone regardless of your age, a father figure that shares the first steps you take with you, whether he was physically there or not it didn't matter.

Bernard absolutely didn't want to be seen as a guru or leader with followers who were mimicking without using common sense. He would say things like: I walk with you and when you walk behind me to follow me I will fart so loud until you will walk next to me, that was typically Bernard. He wanted us to become his equals and not depending children who were lost without him. He wanted a strong stable group that could be like a strong front and stand for and as life. He alone had already walked process and knew that walking process within a group would be much faster, so he attracted people with his message and formed a group. Not as is often alleged, that he started a group around him and especially women to follow him, which was at odds with his principles and he wouldn't deny his principles.

I have often looked with disbelief at what people, of the darkness of the internet, shared as being the truth about Bernard. People who absolutely did not know him or had experienced him in real life, though they had such huge reactions to the message of oneness and equality and were anxious that they were about to lose their comfortable lives, lived at the expense of others. These people we started to call haters, because it was pure hatred that was displayed. Bernard had to laugh about them and saw through them at the first word that came out of them, what caused even more hatred inside of them. Bernard was the catalyst that could touch upon everything inside of you when you allowed it and well if someone is calling the other evil because you cannot direct yourself according to the principles of life, who to blame when you see yourself as innocent? Bernard was crucified many times for the words he spoke, the words that pressed the buttons of those who were not straightforward. The difference with Jesus is that Bernard didn't die by these crucifixions, but he chose to pass away after giving everything to save the physical reality and to return to the earth as the dust of the earth and life itself.

Bernard is no longer here physically, but Bernard was and is life and as such he will continue to exist in and as us. I will certainly miss his cheerfulness and absoluteness. The coming time I will encounter the relationships I had build towards Bernard and investigate them in that moment for what they are and to forgive and correct within my physical reality. And the point of stability in the form of Bernard is not here anymore, but we all know that we can fill that void by continuing walking that what he started, process.

When someone dies we do not mourn about that being, but we mourn because of who we were towards that being. It's an opportunity to have a deeper look at what you have accepted and allowed within the relationships you built towards that being. And mourning is the process of releasing or going to release the behaviours and habits/bad habits and restructuring it in an effective manner that serves the interest of everyone.

Goodbye and die well 'Bernard', thank you for what you have meant and done for us, and welcome 'life' which we have to accept as that what is real and what really matters. As long as we cannot be equals to 'life' the smell will be awful, because when 'life' turns against us it means that we are against 'life' and that's suicide, a useless act that no one assists, feeds or gives anyone a decent life. ... stood-for/

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by ingridschaefer »

Bernard Poolman

http://ingridschaeferwitness.wordpress. ... d-poolman/



Sunday 11 august 2013 Bernard Poolman has passed away. His heart stopped beating.

See blogpost on Creation's Journey to Life.


I am not sure where to begin so I describe what I walk through since the message sunday afternoon that Bernard passed away.

When I read the message on email I first understood that his heart stopped beating and I expected that the message would go on like 'he is in the hospital and being reanimated' or something like that.

This is not so. Bernard really passed away.

Sadness is the first thing that comes up in me, together with disbelief and incomprehension and a thought as 'what should we do now?!'

Soon after this it become very clear to me what to do: to move on with the activities that I am doing, and with the group who will continue doing the tasks. It was as if I was making some kind of checklist inside myself to see if I am able to continue the work what I started within Desteni, without the physical presence of Bernard being here anymore.

I am able to continue. I have called Larry and Sylvie and asked them to open the email. I wanted to share this with them. In the hourse after this, I was still pretty clear.

We have had chat at 20.00 with the whole group. Within this it became clear that Bernard will not be coming through the Portal:

Bernard will not be coming through the Portal. You must understand that Bernard was an individual standing within and as all of existence in his Physical Body; now that he is no more in his physical body, he as what he stood as, as life, as here, as all, as one, as equal still remains within existence; but he is no more an individual being/person.............. So, we cannot talk with him personally as a him personally did only exist for the time-being on earth as to what was necessary to be done. Therefore, we as individuals still here have to stand and walk this Physical Process. The dimensional process is/has been done and walked we have to take it from here into/as the Physical and we have everything we need.

And here the real sadness came up. He is really not here anymore as 'Bernard', also not as an individual being in the dimensions.

The group is directly standing up within the responsibility to continue with the activities in and as Desteni untill it's done. There are questions but there will be coming an interview from Sunette and this will probably answer most of the questions.

In the hours that follow, everything becomes clear very fast with regards to the points that I have not yet taken real responsibility for within myself; the things that I saw, but not yet 'picked up' to really change within myself. All these points actually leads towards the same conclusion, that I still trusted on Bernard in a way, that I am not really aware of what 'life' is, that I do not understand how he can deside to not continue as an individual being but as existance everywhere, being present in all life. Most of all are related to missing a point of absolute certainty. This is what I have missed so much during my life, and what I have experienced, seen and received as a support and example from Bernard. This is the point what I did not bring into standing in a sufficient way within myself because of participation within and as the mind, which gives an experience of self-doubt.

I notice that I made attachments towards Bernard with regards to his total effort with absolute certainty to bring in Life as what is best for all, untill it's done, and that I used his absolute certainty and dedication as a motivation to push myself through. After being in South-Africa, I have asked myself several times if I would move on in self-honesty no matter what, and the answer was 'yes' every time. It is what I wanted to do for already 20 years, but what I was not able to take on in totality, because I was missing the complete information, the tools to bring it into practise and a living example of how to do this. I was missing the act of self-forgiveness, and without self-forgiveness, no real change is possible. Bernard and Desteni gave me the information, the practical tools and the living example, and within Desteni I picked up tasks that I am able to complete, with or without Bernard, and so I can move on with what I am doing already.

At the same time I noticed that there was still hesitation to really live in absolute certainty and dedication towards and as life. It was as if there was some kind of, "yes, but" within myself, and I was moving, but it seems like moving too slow; it felt like pushing through a fuzzy cloud of distraction.

So, the absolute certainty and effort from Bernard I used as a motivation to push myself through. And this is what I need to be for myself. During this week after his passing away, I notice a change in myself and around me, as if some veil, some 'noise' has moved with him. This is related to the removing of the physical systems that he was working on, and the last one that he took on while and with leaving his physical body. (There will be coming interviews about this from Sunette - you can read her blog here). As if for the first time, I see myself as being able to do this, to take full responsibility for my own mind and to work together with the group on bringing a solution into the world. I experience it as if the support as the living principles as Life as Bernard was standing in and as, is spread out everywhere in and as existence, as a platform to walk on, available for everyone who is ready to face oneself in self-honesty.

There is no choise anymore: I have to walk into living as what I see, realize and understand as the only solution and we as a group as Desteni have to walk and bring the solution into the world, and we as a group as humanity have to bring this change into living, as the only solution to live in equality and oneness in and as this physical world. We have to be, become and continue in being practical living beings as what is best for all, and within this we have to stand the test of time, as Bernard stood the test of time and has become timeless and always Here, in and as support as Life, in and as the Living Principles.

His carefullness in every breath, is what stands most by me, as Anna is also describing in her blog about Bernard.

This starts in tender care in and as myself,in the very small things. Really listening to myself. Applying self-forgiveness on the fear that comes up in this; fear for standing up in and as life in carefullness in a world that is not carefull. There is so much to do in this before I am really able to be carefull in every breath.

(Compassion in Action) & (Blog Cathy)

Life is caring, the mind is not. So the systems that exist have to be realligned with and as the living principles as what is best for all in and as carefullness, and so we need to stop the starting point of self-interest in and as the mind. This starts within ourselves, as only when we as as humanity change into carefull and trustworthy beings, we will be able to change the world into a place that is Best for All Life.

This is what Bernard and Sunette are pointing out every time again: "You only need to take full responsibility for your own Mind Consiousness System and to forgive and change yourself within this".

This is how change will take place as 1+1+1+1+1

"Give as you would like to receive".

Within this, real care will come in. As first there is the giving and then there is the receiving.

Bernard said several times to me: "You are still scared of people". "What to do" I asked. "It's a thought", he answered.

Within my witness-blog about going to the farm I described (part of) my experience with Bernard on the farm.

I can keep on writing while the words are not fully describing what Bernard has given and how gratefull I am for what he has done. It is to each one of us to really live as his example in and as the Living Principle.

Here are a few lines from the chat that shows how it is not about Bernard but about the Living Principle that he brought into the world, and only living by this living principles and within this, bringing life into the world until it is done, until all is life, is a real expression of gratefullness and respect towards Bernard, who is standing as Life-Self-Realised. Because, what we all are really missing is


in and as ourselves, and so in and as the world:

we have to become the living example of the living principle in the physical (Sunette)

he's always stood in existence, as existence - here, so he's "here", but not "Bernard as an individual" - what I mean with 'he's here in/as existence' is the Principle, Life (Sunette)

he told us -it is never about the individual, but the principles, thus we cannot use any excuses that bernard is not alive, because the principles still stand and it is up to us to stand (C)

Consider the point that Bernard wasn't something special but the embodiment of a principle that we can all develop ourselves as; so then I would suggest to simply stand as that point yourself of giving yourself your life back through being disciplined, and diligent in your process of standing up (Viktor)

he will be missed - but we will not miss his message/his words/what he stood for/as - this we've got to take and live and continue to do so (Sunette)

I would say Bernard did a better job than Jesus. Establishing the process of walking as equals as one as the principle - so we individually and together see this through, he was the guiding point, and now we have enough guidance to guide ourselves and each other and so to those still to come to be walking with us (Sunette)

we cannot rely on one single individual as that would be again 'following a message' instead of living it (Marlen)

Need to look at what you saw in bernard and found missing within yourself and then give it to yourself (Fidelis)

All he ever asked of us is show others the support he has given us (Fidelis)

we each stand as a specific point within this process - Bernard stood as the living example of what we are to become, life self-realised - walking the process we have established / each has 'their point to stand' - so, 'life individualized' is like self realisation process of being/becoming life and we have the process / structure to walk to be/become it (Sunette)

Bernard Poolman – Living The Word Alive: DAY 231

Thank you

Video support Marlen


(This is partly a translation of the Dutch blog that I wrote on 13 august 2013) ... d-poolman/

(Dutch blog with related self-forgiveness) ... n-bernard/

(Dutch Journey to Life blog) ... n-english/



Mogelijkheid tot wereldverandering met gelijke kansen voor ieder-een:
Equal Life Foundation:
Proces van zelfverandering: GRATIS ONLINE CURSUS MET BUDDY
Proces van relatie naar agreement:
Zelfeducatie free:
Journey to Life:
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven
7 jaar dagelijks schrijven – Dag 1 – Van ziel naar Leven
video: 2012: Nothingness – The 7 year process Birthing Self as Life
De Desteni Boodschap – Wat doen we ermee?: ... -we-ermee/
Zelfvergeving als Toegift aan jeZelf: ... an-jezelf/

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by ingridschaefer »

(written by Miranda de Haas) ... rd-poolman

Dag 95 the death of Bernard Poolman
by Miranda de Haas

I also read the email Sunday 11th of august on the sudden death of Bernard Poolman. "Then thats it" was the first thing I thought, as a complete acceptance of his death.

I have not personally known Bernard and I did not have the need to get to know him. This is because from the start of my 7-year journey to life in 2012, I have felt a tremendous support from the group Destonians. They offered me the tools to work with as writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, given by Bernard, for walking the same 7-year journey to life. That was and still is sufficient.

What I also see is that everyone in the Group Destonians is walking through difficult points to give birth to Life and that the group stands because of the work Bernard has done for us.

I became sad because I felt the sorrow in the group for his death. Many Destonians have written about their experience with Bernard and I see the enormous impact he had on those who have met him in person, and that this meeting has changed their lives. I can not imagine how large the grief must be for those who have lived together closely with him ...

I am grateful for his work here on Earth and will do the work, together with the other Destonians, that must be done until we are who we really can be.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by viktor »

Day 60: Bernard and My Journey To Life ... y-to-life/

About 6 years ago I was sitting by a computer in Thailand. I was working as a volunteer at a school, helping the English teacher to make her student’s pronunciations of the English language more effective. I was bored with my life, and I felt genuinely lost. I was scurrying about trying to find “my purpose” and this was the reason as to why I was at this Thai-school.

I’d searched both high, and low for my so called “purpose” and I believed I’d found it in drugs, and playing music – and apparently that was what life was all about. During that time I’d begun to investigate Taoism and more specifically the writings of Lao Tzu which I found to be extremely clear, and mind-blowing in their simplicity and clear-cut common sense.

This particular day as I was sitting behind the computer I was investigating videos about Taoism on YouTube – I had just found a quite fascinating video that displayed how milk was mixed with coffee, and the interesting patterns that is formed when you take your spoon and then mix the two substances; it’s like a white brown tornado that slowly but surely turns into the color of brown. As I was done with the video I looked on the right of the webpage to see if there where any cool “related videos” – and yes there was one that seemed to be interesting. The thumbnail of the video showed a little girl, or boy (I wasn’t really sure) that was looking straight into the camera with only a white wall as backdrop. The title was something like “Lao Tzu and breath” – I don’t remember exactly. Anyway – this brought up some curiosity within me and I clicked on the link.

Little did I know that this one click was to change my life forever, and that this one click would send me into a existential orbit crash course with a man called Bernard, which is the person that this blog will be dedicated too. Not the person per say – because the thing with Bernard is that he wasn’t really a person – not a person with a particular personality, with memories, with ideas, with opinions, with ideals – he was none of that – he was simply Bernard; and it’s fascinating because even though I knew Bernard for a long time – I can’t really in anyway define who or what Bernard was as a person – and that is simply because Bernard was something much more than a person – he was a standing ovation to a principle that have always been present in existence, yet it’s been scuffed away to exist in the deepest crevices of our minds so we would never have to face this truth; that we as individuals can’t ever be more than this truth – this principle – which is the principle of oneness and equality as life – implying that we as individuals can never be more than the group – and unless we live in alignment with the group and consider others as ourselves – we are lies – we do not in-fact exist.

Thus – to continue – I clicked the link and the video began. A girl showed up, she looked into the camera, took a deep breath in, and sighed and within that her body became relaxed. Then she suddenly took a big breath in, raised her upper-body, opened her eyes, and said: “Hi, this is Lao Tzu!” – now immediately as I saw this I was completely captivated – I knew that this was something completely unique, something that I’d never witnessed before – the authenticity, the genuineness was absolute – it was unquestionable – and even though my mind went: “this can’t be real! It’s fake!” – in the depth of my being I knew that I’d found something that would change my life forever – in a way I’d found what I’d been searching – my so-called purpose.

This was how I first came into contact with Desteni – and I learned that the girl’s name was Sunette, and that she was in-fact a portal – which meant that beings from the afterlife, or as it’s also called, the interdimensional existence, could come through her body and speak effortlessly.

During the next years I would immerse myself completely into the Desteni material, read everything, watch all interviews, and follow the activity on the forum diligently – I knew that this was my calling – this was what I’d been looking for in my life. In my process of immersion in the material I became aware of another figure besides the portal that roused my interest – and this person wrote articles, and also commented on the forum – and he had the mysterious pseudonym “Eagle” – as I read his articles, and his comments I realized that this person was not your ordinary human-being – this was someone that had such a depth of understanding of how things in-fact worked that it could in a way be sensed simply through reading his writings.

I mean – to read something that this person wrote was like reading truth – meaning that I could somehow touch, and feel the authority, the substance, the complete certainty of the words – it felt like the words were eternal, timeless, that they had never been written by someone but had always been here and that they were simply a part of what was here – and that arguing with these words was simply stupidity because it wasn’t a opinion, it wasn’t a idea – it was simply REAL – it was a taste of REALITY as that which is a FACT and that can’t be debated – just as you can’t debate the physical laws of this reality – I mean you can but that won’t mean that the physical laws become less real.

This mysterious person called “Eagle” would in time be revealed as being Bernard. Through my continued participation in the Desteni group I got to learn that Bernard lived on a farm in South Africa together with a bunch of other people – and all of these were actively involved in the forum that Desteni was managing.

After a year of participating with Desteni I asked if I could come and visit the farm. This was at that point a option for those that participated in the so-called “inner-circle” of the Desteni-group; which is not implying any form of pyramid-scheme, or cultish initiation process – it was simply that those that did their writings, and participated frequently in on the forum – was allowed to go and live on the farm; and I will add here – that this invitation included FREE accommodation, and FREE food – isn’t that something? I mean – where in the world will you be allowed to go completely free of charge after only knowing somebody for about a year? Huh? This should be a wake up call for those that believe that Desteni and the group of people involved with Desteni are in anyway out to “get your money” – I mean – that is just laughable – I know that you do not get people’s money through giving them free food, and free accommodation – that is simply common sense, isn’t it?

To my great pleasure my wish was granted, and I booked my flight, and excitedly prepared myself for my travel to the other side of the globe. Remember – I live in Sweden – so I was travelling to the other side of the world to live with people that I’d never before met in the flesh – and there was absolutely NO FEAR in me that I was going to be deceived, or tricked, or abducted, or something – why? Because – through only this one year that I’d participated with Desteni – I’d been a witness to the absolute integrity of this man called Bernard – and the absolute consistency of this man called Bernard – and the absolute dedication to the formation of a better world of this man Bernard – I’d seen with my own eyes that this was a man – a group of people – that was sincere.

This should also be a point of concern for those that have allowed themselves to become brainwashed in believing that Bernard was somehow evil, that Bernard apparently “captured” and “manipulated” young woman to use as his sex-slaves – really – it’s pathetic to believe in such absolute LIES without EVER having met Bernard. It really shows a lack of character, and an inability to handle the most basic life-skills of being able to question, and cross-reference information that an anonymous person throws at your face. Those that believe Desteni is a scheme, and that Bernard was the leader, understand: you’re brainwashed – and you don’t have a clue because you’ve never investigated – I on the other and – I am direct witness of this man Bernard – I’ve walked with him for over 5 years – I’ve talked with him, seen him play with dogs, and help people from all around the world regardless of their problems; and within this I will also add that – I am the living proof that Bernard was a being of unquestionable honor, and integrity – because I am in a way a product of Bernard’s assistance and support – which he’s given to me through out the years through sharing explicitly direct, and confronting truths about me to myself – and for that I will be forever grateful.

Thus – really – those that in anyway slander Bernard – understand that you’re really the EVIL of this world – the very problem that have caused our world to become a prison of innumerable atrocities – because you dare to abuse life, dare to question that which is best for all – and dare to slander that which is truly magnificent – that is the opposite of LIVE which is EVIL.

So – I think it was towards the end of 2009 that I arrived in South Africa, and arrived at the farm. Realize that during this visit I’d placed myself in a mental condition that was severely unstable, and in-effective – due to having misused, and misunderstood the message of Desteni for some time – I mean; it was a consequence of my basic design of “wanting to be more” that made me misinterpret what Desteni shared. Though – even in my state of in-effective mental functioning I was embraced at the farm with open arms. I mean – I should clarify here that what I mean with in-effective mental condition was that I’d through self-judgment internalized myself into a state of extreme self-doubt, and inferiority – where I in essence couldn’t anymore speak and have a normal conversation – lol – so I mean I’d created lot’s of shit than actually transcending shit. Regardless – when I came to the farm I was cared for and given a bed to sleep in, given massage to let go of my extensive anxiety, and supported to accustom myself to the new environment. This proves that Desteni is not about helping only those that “fit in” – no – Desteni is about helping EVERYONE regardless of their state of being – all deserve to have a fulfilling and enjoyable life.

Let’s continue – I vividly remember the first time I was introduced to Bernard because it was such a contrast to what I’d imagined it would be. See – I’d imagined that Bernard would be this all powerful, superior, intelligent being – that would simply swoop me off my feet and make me go to some enlightenment-plane in existence – the reality on the other hand was completely different.

I got off the car, and I was guided into the main-house – and there – surrounded by tons of people was Bernard – and he sat relaxed in a office chair by his computer. As I came in I went to him – I shook his hand – and he said something like “this must be Viktor?” – lol – at that point I was very anxious, and nervous – but what stuck with me was how normal Bernard was. He was a NORMAL human-being – he wasn’t more than anyone – he used words like fuck, shit, stupid, boring – he walked, he ate, he slept, and was completely physically like other human beings – and this is what stuck with me; the realization that living a principle doesn’t make me more than anyone else – it simply implies that I am living by a principle.

Though obviously – Bernard was not like any normal human-being – because even though he talked, moved, and interacted in a way that can be considered normal – through his words, through his interactions there was always shining through a unmovable strength, authority, and assertiveness – Bernard wasn’t someone you fuck around with to say the least – Bernard stood by what is best for all and this was evident in each and every single aspect of Bernard’s life.

When he spoke to me about my acceptances – and showed me how I’d compromised life to satisfy my own self-interest – I knew that the words coming out from this man’s mouth are not debatable – they are so substantial, so completely genuine that they would cut through my shit and get to me at the very depths of my being; and to this day I can still vividly recall verbatim various things Bernard have said to me – and I have these statements come up within me when I see that I participate within a point in my life that I know is not best for all; then it’s there – these words that stand eternal, and timeless – because they are not spoken by a man – they are spoken by that which is real – LIFE – as that which we all have in common, as the principle that can’t be removed, or destroyed – it can be denied but in the end – at death – not even denial can save us from reality – which is that LIFE comes with RESPONSIBILITIES and that if we don’t honor these – we are in-fact abusers and must pay a price.

I stayed at the farm for 6 months and during this time I got to see, and experience the life, and the principles that Bernard lived by in practical, living, physical application. And during this time – I must say – Bernard did in a way save me from my own worst enemy – my inner me – because up to this point in my life I’d actively destroyed myself, and placed myself in a position of total mental compromise, and totally giving up on all my opportunities, and chances to make my life work in the system – I was in the real sense of the word a looser. But – Bernard would not take that – he would not have it that way – and over my stay he repeatedly showed me my deception – he yelled at me, he spoke softly with me, he joked with me, he listened to me, he was there for me, he fucked around with me to make me see my delusions of grandeur, he pushed my buttons, he laughed with me, he considered me – he was the greatest support and assistance that I’ve ever had in my life and he showed me that there is another way to live – I can live by principles – I can live by words of my own design that are best for all; I can create myself to become a real trustworthy human-being that has no agenda – but one: to create a world that is best for all in every way possible.

I particularly have one vivid memory of Bernard, and that is when I’d just arrived at the farm – Bernard was taking me for a tour around the farm and showing me various important locations. Now – during this short tour what came up within me was a sense of warmth – because what I was seeing was that this man took his time to show me my accommodations, not because he wanted to feel good, not to make money – but because of a actual care, and consideration. And in a way I was at that staged shocked, because I’d never experienced, or seen such a point of care in my life – and I mean this care was towards somewhat of a stranger because I’d not know Bernard for that long; yet still – he walked with me through the farm and showed me all the points – and only through that small point I was able to practically, physically get a real understanding of what it means to do unto another as you’d like to be done unto you – I mean – because this was a real actual example of how to walk that point and not only a spiritual feeling – that “I feel compassionate with you, but you I won’t really ever help you”. It was the real thing.

Now Bernard has passed away, and he’s not anymore here to show by example what we all can become if we will ourselves, and dedicate ourselves to let go of our self-interest, and actually live our words – it’s indeed a loss of unprecedented proportions but his death is not the end – because Bernard was not only a man of flesh and blood – he was a living a example – and this means that Bernard was not unique but had created himself to stand, and live as self-perfection – not through luck, or the grace of god – but through systematic action, and daily movement – Bernard had in-fact created himself to be what he was through his own willing and by using simple tools that are available for everyone. Thus – Bernard is not dead – Bernard is a point that exists within each and everyone of us and it’s the potential of what we can become in this lifetime if we dare to walk through, and let go of our self-interest and in-fact stand by a principle that is more than only our own life – but a principle that considers ALL LIFE regardless of form or shape.

Thus – we as humanity have a responsibility to re-birth Bernard as ourselves – within the understanding that Bernard represented an outcome, and a outflow of a specific tangible process that can be walked by each and everyone – that Bernard was not special but a product of his own design – and that we all hold the tools necessary to build ourselves to be a product equal in integrity, and authority – and this is what we’re walking in the Desteni group, and through the seven year journey to life – we’re in-fact stating that Bernard can’t be dead unless we accept and allow Bernard to be dead – because we hold to key’s – we hold the understanding of how to practically in physical reality create the product of accumulated time that Bernard represented – it’s not magic; it’s the science of accumulated effort = 1 + 1 = 2.

I will be forever grateful that Bernard came into my life and shock me out of my sleepwalking existence – and showed me what it really means to live, and give life your all – and obviously I will not accept and allow the gifts Bernard have given to me to become but a memory, but a nostalgic feeling of “how much I liked Bernard” – no – I will take these gifts and integrate them as my very flesh, and I commit myself to through a process birth myself as life from the physical and stand as the second coming of Bernard – I mean –Bernard is not exclusive to Bernard – he’s the life we can all become if we dare to walk no matter what – and until it’s done. Obviously I will not settle for less than getting this done – and within this I am grateful to walk this process with the other Destonians – I thank you all! You are a great support – and it’s clear that Bernard’s death will certainly not be the end of anything – because Desteni will continue – because LIFE can’t be destroyed as it’s not about the person – it’s about the principle.

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