Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
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AnthonyF
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Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by AnthonyF »

This has literally ruined my life.
Even talking about it and asking this feels embarrassing.
So my face gets EXTREMELY dry. Like I get dry skin all over my face. It only started happening about 5 months ago.
It especially occurs all over my nose. And it fucking irritates me to such an extent.
This is the main reason I wanted to commit suicide a while back. I know it sounds stupid and unbelievable. But it's true.
I use moisturiser. I don't know if it doing more harm than good or what.
But for instance yesterday, I was on my way to work, and looked at myself in the car mirror and saw these little white specs of dry skin on my nose. But I couldn't see them inside my house when I checked the mirror. So seeing them in my car just fucked me up and I panicked and at the moment I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN BY ANYONE/ANYTHING.
So I didn't go to work. And I've already had various warnings for not showing up to work (FOR THE SAME REASON). So I most likely will be fired which fucking sucks. I actually have work again today and I'm that worried/nervous to get into work and hear what my managers have to say..
I've also dropped out of a school course because of this.
I just want normal skin. Free of 'imperfections'. I drink water. And well this is a reason I want to/am not eating chocolate again.

Longest post ever, oh well.
Any feedback appreciated. Thank you!

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kim amourette
Posts: 299
Joined: 13 Aug 2011, 12:53

Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by kim amourette »

Anthony wrote:This has literally ruined my life.
Even talking about it and asking this feels embarrassing.
So my face gets EXTREMELY dry. Like I get dry skin all over my face. It only started happening about 5 months ago.
It especially occurs all over my nose. And it fucking irritates me to such an extent.
This is the main reason I wanted to commit suicide a while back. I know it sounds stupid and unbelievable. But it's true.
I use moisturiser. I don't know if it doing more harm than good or what.
But for instance yesterday, I was on my way to work, and looked at myself in the car mirror and saw these little white specs of dry skin on my nose. But I couldn't see them inside my house when I checked the mirror. So seeing them in my car just fucked me up and I panicked and at the moment I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN BY ANYONE/ANYTHING.
So I didn't go to work. And I've already had various warnings for not showing up to work (FOR THE SAME REASON). So I most likely will be fired which fucking sucks. I actually have work again today and I'm that worried/nervous to get into work and hear what my managers have to say..
I've also dropped out of a school course because of this.
I just want normal skin. Free of 'imperfections'. I drink water. And well this is a reason I want to/am not eating chocolate again.

Longest post ever, oh well.
Any feedback appreciated. Thank you!
Hey Anthony,

I have been dealing with a similar experience, I also have dry skin on my face and often (especially after taking a shower) have these white dry skin around my nose - I used to panic about these kinds of 'imperfections' a lot as well and often even decide to not go out if i judged my appearance to be 'bad'/'ugly', within fear of how other people may judge me. Though what I noticed is that these types of physical expressions are in fact manifested consequences of what I have allowed myself to participate in in my mind - for instance I found for myself that my dry skin is a result/physical consequence of me stressing so much about what people may think about me, and preoccupying myself in my thoughts, feelings and emotions with it all the time. So, what is fascinating is that it becomes a vicious cycle, as the manifested consequence of dry skin would make me stress even more.

So, the only way to stop this is to apply self-forgiveness on all your fears and thoughts and inner experiences that you have connected to your appearance with regards to 'how other people may think about you' - because realize: it is not how you look that is 'making you' experience yourself in this way, you are creating this experience for yourself within your mind, within all sorts of thoughts, beliefs, fears and desires that you have allowed to exist within you, which you now project onto others to make your inner experience seem 'real'.

It is only through writing and applying self-forgiveness in self-honesty that we are able to see how we have created our entire inner experience as what we believe to be 'real' and 'who we are' all by and for ourselves.


Cheers, Kim

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AnthonyF
Posts: 690
Joined: 11 May 2012, 15:55
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by AnthonyF »

kim amourette wrote:
Anthony wrote:This has literally ruined my life.
Even talking about it and asking this feels embarrassing.
So my face gets EXTREMELY dry. Like I get dry skin all over my face. It only started happening about 5 months ago.
It especially occurs all over my nose. And it fucking irritates me to such an extent.
This is the main reason I wanted to commit suicide a while back. I know it sounds stupid and unbelievable. But it's true.
I use moisturiser. I don't know if it doing more harm than good or what.
But for instance yesterday, I was on my way to work, and looked at myself in the car mirror and saw these little white specs of dry skin on my nose. But I couldn't see them inside my house when I checked the mirror. So seeing them in my car just fucked me up and I panicked and at the moment I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN BY ANYONE/ANYTHING.
So I didn't go to work. And I've already had various warnings for not showing up to work (FOR THE SAME REASON). So I most likely will be fired which fucking sucks. I actually have work again today and I'm that worried/nervous to get into work and hear what my managers have to say..
I've also dropped out of a school course because of this.
I just want normal skin. Free of 'imperfections'. I drink water. And well this is a reason I want to/am not eating chocolate again.

Longest post ever, oh well.
Any feedback appreciated. Thank you!
Hey Anthony,

I have been dealing with a similar experience, I also have dry skin on my face and often (especially after taking a shower) have these white dry skin around my nose - I used to panic about these kinds of 'imperfections' a lot as well and often even decide to not go out if i judged my appearance to be 'bad'/'ugly', within fear of how other people may judge me. Though what I noticed is that these types of physical expressions are in fact manifested consequences of what I have allowed myself to participate in in my mind - for instance I found for myself that my dry skin is a result/physical consequence of me stressing so much about what people may think about me, and preoccupying myself in my thoughts, feelings and emotions with it all the time. So, what is fascinating is that it becomes a vicious cycle, as the manifested consequence of dry skin would make me stress even more.

So, the only way to stop this is to apply self-forgiveness on all your fears and thoughts and inner experiences that you have connected to your appearance with regards to 'how other people may think about you' - because realize: it is not how you look that is 'making you' experience yourself in this way, you are creating this experience for yourself within your mind, within all sorts of thoughts, beliefs, fears and desires that you have allowed to exist within you, which you now project onto others to make your inner experience seem 'real'.

It is only through writing and applying self-forgiveness in self-honesty that we are able to see how we have created our entire inner experience as what we believe to be 'real' and 'who we are' all by and for ourselves.


Cheers, Kim
Cool!
Thanks Kim.
I do the exact same, at the last minute of going out, I change my mind because of this 'fear'. I understand though, it is a vicious cycle.
I'll continue with my self-forgiveness.

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CerisePoolman
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Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 19:24

Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by CerisePoolman »

When we are in situations wherein we begin participating in patterns, such as self judgement, we must make the decision to stop - an actual self will to stop the thoughts as they come up - because in truth we know exactly where these thoughts will take us, we know exactly where they are going and it is only out of a perverse sense of curiosity that we continue allowing ourselves to be consumed by the thoughts. We are within these situations all that stand in our way, because we have the tendency to allow ourselves to sink into a state of self pity and helplessness, convincing ourselves that we are unable to stop these experiences.

Self forgiveness and writing assists one to see where and how these patterns exist within us, though we must also make the choice to no longer participate in the patterns - we must stop - self forgiveness is useless without practically walking corrections.

The thoughts will continue to come up, the patterns will continue to emerge - our application and honouring of our choice must stand firm throughout the layers of our patterns. If we make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive ourselves, learn from it and continue walking our chosen path - beating ourselves up is counter productive. Consistency is key - practice, practice, practice

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Rebecca Dalmas
Posts: 169
Joined: 15 Jun 2011, 05:09

Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by Rebecca Dalmas »

Cool posts all.
I am trying to no longer bite my nails. I have to look at what I accept and allow, as my mind when I start wanting to bite my nails, and actually stop the thoughts, emotions and feelings, as they serve no self direction within picking myself up and moving here. It is all just pointless and serves no purpose other than separation from life/living.

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maya rote
Posts: 319
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 08:23

Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by maya rote »

thanks for bringing this point up,
CerisePoolman wrote:When we are in situations wherein we begin participating in patterns, such as self judgement, we must make the decision to stop - an actual self will to stop the thoughts as they come up - because in truth we know exactly where these thoughts will take us, we know exactly where they are going and it is only out of a perverse sense of curiosity that we continue allowing ourselves to be consumed by the thoughts. We are within these situations all that stand in our way, because we have the tendency to allow ourselves to sink into a state of self pity and helplessness, convincing ourselves that we are unable to stop these experiences.

Self forgiveness and writing assists one to see where and how these patterns exist within us, though we must also make the choice to no longer participate in the patterns - we must stop - self forgiveness is useless without practically walking corrections.

The thoughts will continue to come up, the patterns will continue to emerge - our application and honouring of our choice must stand firm throughout the layers of our patterns. If we make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive ourselves, learn from it and continue walking our chosen path - beating ourselves up is counter productive. Consistency is key - practice, practice, practice
cool support here, thanks

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Rozelle de Lange
Posts: 650
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 14:04

Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

When we are in situations wherein we begin participating in patterns, such as self judgement, we must make the decision to stop - an actual self will to stop the thoughts as they come up - because in truth we know exactly where these thoughts will take us, we know exactly where they are going and it is only out of a perverse sense of curiosity that we continue allowing ourselves to be consumed by the thoughts. We are within these situations all that stand in our way, because we have the tendency to allow ourselves to sink into a state of self pity and helplessness, convincing ourselves that we are unable to stop these experiences.

Self forgiveness and writing assists one to see where and how these patterns exist within us, though we must also make the choice to no longer participate in the patterns - we must stop - self forgiveness is useless without practically walking corrections.

The thoughts will continue to come up, the patterns will continue to emerge - our application and honouring of our choice must stand firm throughout the layers of our patterns. If we make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive ourselves, learn from it and continue walking our chosen path - beating ourselves up is counter productive. Consistency is key - practice, practice, practice
- Well said. Thanks for sharing.

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ReginaldDiepenhorst
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by ReginaldDiepenhorst »

The reason that one is so concerned by outer appearance is because people judge books by their cover.

In my own case, where I faced my whole body being covered with eczema as I child, I created also a sensitivity to my outer appearance in relation to how people would look at me/threat me. There is a lot of judgement on this, as somehow we often also believe that the physical body actually represents the totality of of ourselves. For instance, judging pretty beings to be nice or fat people to be lazy. These are constructs that we work with everyday to place ourselves in relation to another in our own mind.

So it's for each one of us to see how much we have defined our comfortability with ourselves due to our outer appearance and what benefits us and want to hold onto while knowing that it's just some scam construct that we participate in within our minds. I suggest looking at the point of extreme self-judgement.
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Christophe De Groote
Posts: 24
Joined: 18 Jun 2011, 18:52

Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by Christophe De Groote »

CerisePoolman wrote:When we are in situations wherein we begin participating in patterns, such as self judgement, we must make the decision to stop - an actual self will to stop the thoughts as they come up - because in truth we know exactly where these thoughts will take us, we know exactly where they are going and it is only out of a perverse sense of curiosity that we continue allowing ourselves to be consumed by the thoughts. We are within these situations all that stand in our way, because we have the tendency to allow ourselves to sink into a state of self pity and helplessness, convincing ourselves that we are unable to stop these experiences.

Self forgiveness and writing assists one to see where and how these patterns exist within us, though we must also make the choice to no longer participate in the patterns - we must stop - self forgiveness is useless without practically walking corrections.

The thoughts will continue to come up, the patterns will continue to emerge - our application and honouring of our choice must stand firm throughout the layers of our patterns. If we make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive ourselves, learn from it and continue walking our chosen path - beating ourselves up is counter productive. Consistency is key - practice, practice, practice
Awesome.

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viktor
Posts: 1398
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by viktor »

Another point to look at is how we compromise our actual practical world – and our life's for something to honor something that isn't real. See – in you're case you've been compromising your position at work – which is the point that gives you money; and as you know money is a actual physical resource as it gives you the ability to eat, to take care of your body, to do things you enjoy, etc.

And this compromise you've done to honor your fear – the fear you experience is not in-fact real – if you'd remove it you wouldn't miss it – it doesn't give you food, shelter, clothes, or the ability to persue your interests. Other people can't even see your fear as it's a completely subjective experience that exist only in you – and you make it real through basing your decisions according to the fear.

So – with this I want to show just how stupid it is to follow the mind instead of walking the physical in a practical common sense way. Because – in honoring the fears you experience you in-fact compromise real value – real value as resources you're able to use to support yourself in this world; and instead you make your life more difficult.

Thus a suggestion as to how to deal with this point – when this fear arise within you – use this common sense insight to make a decision in the moment to stop yourself, and to go to your work – and to not compromise what is real in favor of that which isn't. Simply see the simplicity of the solution – to not follow, and make decisions according to the things inside that "seem" real – but when you look at them – holds NO SUBSTANCE what-so-ever – and so instead change yourself and make a decision in the moment to honor yourself through living what is practically best for you; which in this case would be that you say "fuck off fear – now I am going to my work – which I will enjoy – regardless of the fact that I have these white spots on my nose".

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