Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
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Carrie
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by Carrie »

viktor wrote:...the fear you experience is not in-fact real – if you'd remove it you wouldn't miss it – it doesn't give you food, shelter, clothes, or the ability to persue your interests. Other people can't even see your fear as it's a completely subjective experience that exist only in you – and you make it real through basing your decisions according to the fear.
COOL - thanks Viktor - great perspective.
So – with this I want to show just how stupid it is to follow the mind instead of walking the physical in a practical common sense way. Because – in honoring the fears you experience you in-fact compromise real value – real value as resources you're able to use to support yourself in this world; and instead you make your life more difficult.

Thus a suggestion as to how to deal with this point – when this fear arise within you – use this common sense insight to make a decision in the moment to stop yourself, and to go to your work – and to not compromise what is real in favor of that which isn't. Simply see the simplicity of the solution – to not follow, and make decisions according to the things inside that "seem" real – but when you look at them – holds NO SUBSTANCE what-so-ever – and so instead change yourself and make a decision in the moment to honor yourself through living what is practically best for you; which in this case would be that you say "fuck off fear – now I am going to my work – which I will enjoy – regardless of the fact that I have these white spots on my nose".
Equally as cool. Real practical support here.

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Ann
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by Ann »

Such things can drive you insane if you let it. It can become a total obsession and you will Judge your being according to your looks, which is extremely limiting. I see it as a form of self-mutilation.
The only person who can stop this ofcourse, is you. There are being who will not Judge you on your looks, and then there are beings who will. But the point is to not let others opinions define you. Because the self-judgement actually comes from looking at yourself from the outside perspective of society.

As for practical advice regards dry skin... you might take a look at your diet, if it s good for your body. Or maybe it is dry air, cold weather, the climate you live in... I noticed listening to my body more made my skin soft. But ofcourse outside conditions still impact our physical body as well.
What I have also read of the perspective of dry skin is that it reflects "you drying yourself out". the "dry skin" would point out that the mind is sucking you dry.

Here a perspective from dimensions a while age:
From another perspective:
It's fascinating - 'perfect skin' is promoted within advertisements, where woman's / men's face is covered within layers of make-up, together with the additional 'cleaning up of the photo shoot frames' - for literal 'picture-perfect skin' = which manifest a fear within human beings, becasue having acne/zits become a literal embarrassment and self judgment, because apparently it's 'disgusting/horrible' and a 'disgrace to society' if you dare have pimples/acne revealing - then within the fear and judgment of having acne/zits promoted by advertising and society - you manifest acne/zits...

Companies creating the problem and then presenting the solution: Creating a judgment and embarrassment of acne/zits within human beings - then presenting the 'solution' as 'acne/zit medication' and ofcourse all sorts of creams and blemishes and covers...

Who profits off of human beings insecurities, judgments and fears: Business and corportations within this world

To me, it seems like companies, business and corportations know human beings better than they know themselves...

Or is it that they know you - becasue they've created you to be how you are, how you feel and how you experience yourself - profiting from turning human beings against themselves...

Phillip

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KellyPosey
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by KellyPosey »

I have this also, dry skin on the forehead and sides of the nose, in winter time. It's cool to use it as assistance to take a look at what have I been participating in, within my mind, like if it flares up a bit more than usual. It can also be partly from physical factors like heating systems that are used during the winter, which really dry out the air, because I don't get this in other times of the year. Diet can also be a factor. But the body is really adaptable, so it can be that the body could adapt to the conditions, and we're preventing/hampering that by participating in the mind. So really the key point is to ensure we're not creating it, by stopping our participation in the mind, so that we'll eventually see actual physical feedback that isn't influenced by our mind participation.

I use lotion before/during work as I have to work one on one with customers, and since generally we humans have the tendency currently to judge by appearance, people will sometimes react to those things and i wouldn't be able to do my job as effectively. So, in cases where it's practical, use what's here as support depending on the context of your situation. I use it as sparingly as possible, to not create a physical dependency, as what we do to our bodies does have effect/consequences. While I'm at home I don't use it, unless it becomes very uncomfortable. So, you do what you have to in the current situation of things, and focus on clearing up your relationship toward the point, as when we're participating in a mind relationship and energy-experiences toward a point, we can be sure we are influencing and throwing off our body's ability to handle things, as we're essentially saying 'I don't trust my body to handle/deal with this, and thus that's the message we give to our body, because we are our body actually, just separated ourself from it, within creating relationships within our mind toward our body.

So it's a process to re-integrate ourself into/as the physical by clearing up all the relationships we have created/participate in toward our physical. Clearing up the judgments/reactions we have toward such things, so we can stop reacting, as we're really just reacting to judgments inside our minds, and those judgments are always coming from within self, thus why we have to sort out our relationships individually, each and every one of us.

Thanks all for sharing.

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ingridschaefer
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by ingridschaefer »

Thanks all for the support in this.

A practical point that I want to bring forward:
We all know now that using moisturizers and things like that can make the skin dependent on using the products, etc. This can start working against us if it becomes a judgement and a believe that we are not allowed to use moisturizer anymore. When the physical is showing dysbalances, we have to look at the physical conditions and at the mind conditions. The physical may use some support, if we donot give this physical support by applying some physical substance as for example a moisturizer, the mind starts using the physical condition again as a reason to sabotage ourselves. When instead, if we use a well chosen natural moisturizer to supprt the skincondition and give the shortages that we created with the mind within the physical, we can within this look at the mindproces that is running on another dimension connected to this physical condition. The using of the moisturizer can become a way of practising to take care of our physical body, to not dry out ourselves within the mindparticipation as Ann says. We can apply this moisturizer with all the attention that we have for ourselves, maybe in front of the mirror, and apply sf on the points that are coming up within this. it is also possible to take the moisturizer with you and apply it more times a day, as this is what supports you to do your daily tasks. Use what is here, is what Bernard sais. Moisturizers are here. When you take a moisturizer with natural ingredients that agree with your skinconditions at the moment, it will not interrupt the balance, it will support to reach/maintain the balance. Until you are able to do it with less moisturizer or even without.

Within this we can look at the relationships that we created as separations from everything that is connected with this skinconditions and start applying sf on this relationships. It are the relationships that we created that we have to stop, and not for example using the moistorizer that we perse have to stop. Otherwise we create another relationship/layer with the (using of the) moistorizer as a judgement.

Related to the stopping point Cerise is writing about:
I see within myself that if I really decide to stop a thought pattern, it comes up several times after this the same day, if I stand in my decision to stop it, it stops. It is not coming back, and I can walk through and start seeing the relationships that I created behind this thoughtpattern. So within this, it is possible to support the body with the moisurizer and to stop the thoughtpatterns related to this, which will be easier as the skincondition is taken care of now. Within this process you can start seeing what relationships are laying under this thoughtpatterns and in the end related to the skinconditions.

Maybe there is a natural treatment available for you AnthonyF as a support in finding the physical balance? Homeopathie, Fytotherapie, Acupuncture, food-advises; just a healthstore with natural products for the skin and for eventual internal supplements with some 'professional advise'.
When you get support in this from people who have experience in supporting this physical balance with looking individually to your total physical condition, the walking through the mind-patterns become easier within this as you support both physical and mind equally now.

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sandymac
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by sandymac »

Hi Anthony
First I would say you should see a specialist, dermatologist as there may be treatment available that is quite effective.
Staying away from the sugar is a good idea as well, and the water intake, so lots of common sense approaches. THEN be patient and kind to yourself, physical healing takes time and you are doing several things right, self-loathing will not do anything but further harm you and your skin!
Next, I would write it all out, over several days if need be, apply self-forgiveness and corrective statements (as you see in the Journey to Life Blogs) and read them out loud to yourself. Use breath to stop your destructive thoughts and bring yourself out of your mind as much as possible, each day is breath by breath, realistically, this is as fast as anyone can move in the physical. It is the mind that races and ends up in the useless place of self-destruction. This process is very healing and practical and physical. Write and write, take yourself back in time even. Suicidal thoughts indicate alot of blame, self-defeat, anger. I have definately been there, so can relate to the suicidal thoughts, had my struggles with mental illness and alcoholism. Giving up is never the answer, you know that obviously, we are here for you.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by AnthonyF »

Thank you ALL so much for your replies/support/insight.
Incredibly helpful!
I haven't worried about the dry skin/my appearance since posting about this. I just look at it in the mirror, and think "Okay, I've applied moisturiser, there is nothing further I can do. It's natural and I've done all I can and will get on with my day without further worry."
Also thought I'd post this here since some of you were saying about the body/face relying on moisturiser.
I had asthma for my whole life until about 2 years ago. I was talking to a friend a IT course I was doing, and he mentioned how he just stopped taking the medication and it vanished.
I didn't believe it at first, but gave it a shot. I struggled slightly for a few days, nothing major. Because I used to rely on ventolin/serotide to stop/prevent my asthma. Anyway, after about 2 weeks, I didn't even realise that I had no asthma. Then I realised, I had none at all, and hadn't needed/taken medication for it for 2 weeks.
And ever since that, I have literally been 100% fine. I drank those fucking energy drinks for a while and they sometimes made me feel a bit of asthma within myself, but it subsided.
But no medication/no energy drinks = no asthma for me since.

Anyway, thank you all again so much!

Marlen
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by Marlen »

Hi Anthony, cool, this thread is definitely supportive.

With regards to understanding for example how these self beliefs of having 'bad skin' are created from beginning till the point of them being a lived-out as 'who we are,' the Quantum Mind Self Awareness- Step 10 and Step 11 explain this point, which is basically educating yourself about how we create these self beliefs according to our own acceptances and allowances in the past. Understanding how these points are created has allowed me to stop the self beliefs with more ease, as I no longer wonder around such points being 'who I really am' but understand how I created it and take self responsibility for the point to walk the necessary self correction.

With regards to asthma, I suggest to keep an 'eye' on yourself about it meaning even if you don't need it, I would not immediately challenge the situation fully, this is just a suggestion to be aware of not throwing away your ventolin just yet - figuratively speaking - but rather test for yourself how you do without it over an extended period of time meaning, testing out points yet not 'challenging' the asthma on purpose, simply consider potential consequences of every point that you decide to test out.

Maya
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by Maya »

Anthony, cool that you brought this point up as many if not all people tend to participate within self judgement as if self judgement is Normal because everyone participate within it as a justification.

Cerise's Perspective on How one require self Will to actually stop the Patterns one had identified within and as oneself was great support. without Self Will and having a clear starting point within and as oneself, one can apply Self Forgiveness from today till eternity with no actual change. Thus, Bear in Mind that the Actual STOP of the Pattern within and one self must be Applied in absolute Self Trust, consistently.

Also, make sure you do not suppress the point now within yourself through calming yourself down while utilizing thoughts like:
AnthonyF wrote:"Okay, I've applied moisturiser, there is nothing further I can do. It's natural and I've done all I can and will get on with my day without further worry."
.
Because then, if you haven't walked through the pattern in specificity in seeing how and why you have created it within yourself, the pattern will manifest as a physical consequences in a mutate form, one way or another. So, rather, do not be manipulated by your own mind and assess within self honesty whether you are in fact clear and stable within this point and within that, walk through the SF process and Self commitment in making sure you won't repeat the same pattern again.

I also suggest to see a Doctor and/or Homeopath if the Dryness persist, to see how you can practically support your physical body because what ever the pattern is, the fact that your skin is dry, it is already manifested Consequences of the Physical body and therefor, one should consider Physical additional support. in that, i also suggest to drink at least 2-3 litter of water per day to supply your body the sufficient natural moisture.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by AnthonyF »

Marlen wrote:Hi Anthony, cool, this thread is definitely supportive.

With regards to understanding for example how these self beliefs of having 'bad skin' are created from beginning till the point of them being a lived-out as 'who we are,' the Quantum Mind Self Awareness- Step 10 and Step 11 explain this point, which is basically educating yourself about how we create these self beliefs according to our own acceptances and allowances in the past. Understanding how these points are created has allowed me to stop the self beliefs with more ease, as I no longer wonder around such points being 'who I really am' but understand how I created it and take self responsibility for the point to walk the necessary self correction.

With regards to asthma, I suggest to keep an 'eye' on yourself about it meaning even if you don't need it, I would not immediately challenge the situation fully, this is just a suggestion to be aware of not throwing away your ventolin just yet - figuratively speaking - but rather test for yourself how you do without it over an extended period of time meaning, testing out points yet not 'challenging' the asthma on purpose, simply consider potential consequences of every point that you decide to test out.
Cool, thanks Marlen.
I'll check out those links.
That would certainly be helpful, to know how these topics are created.

Good point.
I think I already did throw out all my asthma medications though.
Better get them back just in case.
Maya wrote:Anthony, cool that you brought this point up as many if not all people tend to participate within self judgement as if self judgement is Normal because everyone participate within it as a justification.

Cerise's Perspective on How one require self Will to actually stop the Patterns one had identified within and as oneself was great support. without Self Will and having a clear starting point within and as oneself, one can apply Self Forgiveness from today till eternity with no actual change. Thus, Bear in Mind that the Actual STOP of the Pattern within and one self must be Applied in absolute Self Trust, consistently.

Also, make sure you do not suppress the point now within yourself through calming yourself down while utilizing thoughts like:
AnthonyF wrote:"Okay, I've applied moisturiser, there is nothing further I can do. It's natural and I've done all I can and will get on with my day without further worry."
.
Because then, if you haven't walked through the pattern in specificity in seeing how and why you have created it within yourself, the pattern will manifest as a physical consequences in a mutate form, one way or another. So, rather, do not be manipulated by your own mind and assess within self honesty whether you are in fact clear and stable within this point and within that, walk through the SF process and Self commitment in making sure you won't repeat the same pattern again.

I also suggest to see a Doctor and/or Homeopath if the Dryness persist, to see how you can practically support your physical body because what ever the pattern is, the fact that your skin is dry, it is already manifested Consequences of the Physical body and therefor, one should consider Physical additional support. in that, i also suggest to drink at least 2-3 litter of water per day to supply your body the sufficient natural moisture.
Thanks Maya.
I do have to work on self-honesty more. And I definitely do that, repeat the same patterns again and again.
There are days when I think I'm totally over something, then in a day or a few day's time, it comes back even worse than before. Cool.

I'll keep that in mind too.
I am drinking about 1.5 litres per day usually. Guess that's not enough. I don't like having to pee every 10 minutes though lol.
But I'll up my intake of water.

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sylvia
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Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much?

Post by sylvia »

Really cool support here!


Maya wrote:Also, make sure you do not suppress the point now within yourself through calming yourself down while utilizing thoughts like:
AnthonyF wrote:Okay, I've applied moisturiser, there is nothing further I can do. It's natural and I've done all I can and will get on with my day without further worry.
.
Because then, if you haven't walked through the pattern in specificity in seeing how and why you have created it within yourself, the pattern will manifest as a physical consequences in a mutate form, one way or another. So, rather, do not be manipulated by your own mind and assess within self honesty whether you are in fact clear and stable within this point and within that, walk through the SF process and Self commitment in making sure you won't repeat the same pattern again.
This point MayaH brought up about suppressing is a very nice trapp of the mind. Also this whole example of appearances shows us the degree of brainwashing we're subject to. We end up dissatisfied with our appearances due to a picture in the mind, that has formed over time by imprinting through education and society. In a way we are in comparison with ourselves, when we compare our physical body to the desired body picture in our minds. Totally funny when you look at it that way. So we are sucking ourselves dry through judgements and comparisons and it isn't surprising that the skin dries out when we abuse it as the mind through brainwashing. Cool that things go better Anthony, whether it is suppression or real, it does show you that change is possible. Now it's up to you to see in Self-honesty which path to follow to liberate yourself from these patterns.

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