Work-Related Issue

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
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ReginaldDiepenhorst
Posts: 113
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 19:28

Work-Related Issue

Post by ReginaldDiepenhorst »

Hi Fellow Destonians,

I'd like some perspective here.

I have a disagreement at work.

Context:
When I came at this company we had two different departments. Which got merged as one last year. I found out that I fulfilled work which was equal or more complex than the Specialists at the other department. Four of us (including me) were brought to a specific floor, where we were the only ones from the other department, because we fulfilled the same work. And by the team managers we were actually recognized as specialists only not on paper. I let it be for a period of time, until we got a new team manager, as there was to much shifting and stuff happening in the organization. But I always kept the discussion warm. Then at one point the team manager said that we had to wait and I was tired of waiting. As this was the window of opportunity and the time for change. My colleagues wanted to wait longer but I saw that the window of opportunity was closing and it was time to act. So I wrote a email to the works council, explaining our point, with the agreement of the other three persons.
The works counsel said they couldn't be yet of any assistance, because we haven't walked the entire escalation line. So we knew what to do. One week later one Team manager came up to us and asked if one was willing to attend a conference call between our location and another location, because things were not going well with this merge of the two departments. My colleagues wanted me to attend, because I am quite sharp in discussions. But I had vacation and went to Milan, so I couldn't attend the meeting. So someone else went for me instead.
It was decided that we went into a pilot, and the ones who attended the meeting were elected to do the 'specialists' work, until we figured out what to do. Thus my colleague got that work.
No problem, as we were focused to show that things needed to change, and this was a step into the right direction. I layed off, because thing were put into motion, and the letter to the works council did find some footing in the organization.
This was 16 October. And because this Pilot was running, we couldn't do stuff as the pilot had to point out our point.
So today I read that one person got appointed to be a specialist. But I didn't hear from my colleagues, so I whatsapped my colleague if he heard something. He said he would tell me later. I already saw what was happening. Went for the shower and went to work. He and another got appointed to become a specialist. But didn't tell me, or the other colleague, as he only heard it, because I was not talking softly/secretly/sneaky. This was something that concerned us all. And they kept it secret from me and him, as they heard this already yesterday.
I was quite angry for this happening, them not informing me, and what I am mostly pissed about is that they didn't stood up for me or the other colleague. Now I sent an email to the location manager for a personal talk on this, because I am quite dazzled that I ain't part of the team.

So what bothers me, is that I stand for all of the group, but they don't stand for me. Another department wanted to have me, but as they knew I was busy with this point, they didn't come to me, as becoming the specialist is what I really wanted.
Things didn't happen without me, and now I am left here with nothing but my deeds that said this in motion for a lot of people at our organization.

I am quite clueless now how to handle within this situation as I am quite angry about the point, and especially really disappointing that no one stood up for me. (I know I am considered by them, because we planned the whole thing).

I still see some opportunity, as I have a solid case in favor of myself, but when I started this I already so this as one of the most likely scenario's considering people and their own agenda's.

So I am wondering, what do I miss?

I see this point reoccurring with my parents, where my dad got screwed by his employes, my mom got screwed by her colleague, and I deliberately didn't take their advice of : let things be, there is nothing you can do.
I see I have set things in motion. I see I have worked in the benefit for all. But what did I do wrong to end up in this position?

I am not afraid to put my ass on the line and get things done, getting a bad name, people disliking me or whatever in such a context where my reputation in that regard could be damaged. I don't see what I did not consider see, as I would do the same thing the next time and the next. But it seems like I am always the one laying ass on the line, and others are only benefiting from it.

I want to go into this conversation with my location manager knowing what I haven't considered. Should've I been more fierce in any regard? Did I wait while I had to speak to the location manager because I was not able to attend, and that the other colleague went in my stead, and thus possibly 'screw' my colleague, by playing myself into picture more and more?

I know familiarity is a big point in cooperation's, to make them know you, bad or good, as long as they know you. Does anyone has some practical advice on this?

For extra context: My team manager that I have now is to new to understand the real implications of our work and has no proper context of what we do and how long we have been busy with this. He has his own agenda of becoming fully employed by the organization and that does not allow himself to be my advocate herein, I have to make this work for myself.
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Randy
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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 07:48

Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by Randy »

Reg,
As you have described the circumstances of your current situation, it seems that the only thing you did 'wrong' was go to Milan... really... That gave the other dude the opportunity - that would have been yours - to be involved in the teleconference and make an impression on whoever else was involved in that. Like it or not, most people in the corporate world are out for themselves - it's a world dictated by self-interest - so, it's not all that surprising the secrecy of the two guys that have been promoted. Assuming that you like what you're doing and want the opportunity to be recognized - and paid - as a specialist, your meeting with the location manager - if you can get it - is your shot to make an impression and "state your case", so to speak. This is not the time to go off half cocked and end up making a bad impression. In my experience, if the first impression the higher-ups have of you is bad/negative, you're shooting yourself in the foot and can kiss the idea of future opportunities goodbye - at least for a while - no matter how 'right' you think you are...
Every company has its politics and, unfortunately, you are in a position now where you have to play that game. Displaying anger or anything that could be interpreted as spitefulness would be seen as a weakness in character. I suggest that you come from the position that you're happy for the half of your team that got promoted because they deserved it - you had pointed out as much in your original email to the works council - and that you believe that you have earned the same opportunity as well and that your performance speaks for itself. If it's not possible right now, tell them you could use some assistance in developing an action plan for you to meet/reach that goal and get an idea of the timetable for it to happen.
Does that other department still want you? Could you get a raise if you transferred to that department? Could that be a point of leverage for you? You know - if you can't become a specialist in your department, so and so was wanting you in their department and maybe you should consider that...

The thing is, we're all seen as expendable in this system. No matter how valuable we are - or think we are - to the company, if we quit, die or whatever, corporations don't care... There may be some people IN the company that care but, the company will get by. You not being there might place some others under hardship for awhile but, that's just the way it goes...
Matti Freeman
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Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by Matti Freeman »

I concur with Randy's perspective in terms of your vacation influencing the course of decision that ended up being made in your absence.

The point of Self Sabotage here would be where you exist within a character of 'consideration' and 'respect' and 'honor' for your fellow employees -- seeing yourself as a 'moral' person and expecting others to recognize this and 'honor you' as you are apparently 'honoring them' -- however this is an example of allowing yourself to be directed by an experience of yourself within and as an 'ideal', and expecting this 'ideal' to be recognized -- as when the others then act in contradiction to your 'honor' of them and do not 'return the honor / consideration' - then you react and get angry / feel like you have been taken advantage of

It's important to let go of any ideas / expectations of your world / others 'changing' because you are apparently standing as an 'example' -- that would be a form of 'savior syndrome' of wanting others to change so you can feel satisfied about yourself / validate your idea of yourself as 'considerate' and 'honorable'

Obviously you can be considerate of your fellow workers -- but this is a matter of really getting down to identifying ANY thoughts, backchat, inner conversations, expectations, feelings in relation to you as 'considerate' and as 'standing as / for your fellow workers' - because to allow thoughts and feelings and expectations indicates you are not in fact considering yourself effectively first and thus not actually standing as the example you feel you are
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KellyPosey
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Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by KellyPosey »

Yeah currently we as humanity exist where there is no fairness, where an individual will do whatever they believe is in their interest and not stand up for another. So that is what you got to see first hand, our current nature as 'out for ourselves'. Those that are successful in the system don't get there by being nice and considering others.

This is why currently there can really only be self-trust, because we haven't yet stood up and proven ourselves trustworthy to each other, by no longer acting in our self interest. And thus why you can only be reasonably certain that someone is trustworthy if they are consistently placing themself in writing and you can see in their words what they stand for and that they stand for what is best for all and are assisting and supporting themselves to stop themselves as self interested beings. If you don't have that, then there is really no idea what kind of person they are or what they might do.

The current system is a filtering system that has no mercy or compassion, as that's essentially what we're existing as, so you really are 'on your own' from that perspective to make it and can't rely on anyone but oneself. Thus why we have things like written contracts, lol.

The only real solution is to prevent this entire kind of situation of course, but it's here and once in it, what you can do is use it to see where/how you still react to things as it provide an opportunity to see how one has separated oneself by going into an experience based on certain events and make the decision to stop creating experience, as that will also ensure you can look at the situation in clarity and not from within emotion/feeling/experience reaction, which if acted from will certainly cause consequence. In terms of what to actually do in the situation, that would have to be your decision as you are the one that is in the position to know what factors are involved and such and what options there are.
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Leila
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Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by Leila »

Yup, I pretty much agree with what has been shared here so far. The world is not fair - we created it this way, now we have to walk through the consequence. I would start with addressing any backchat around the point and bring it back to the point that you're simply walking through the consequence of a system we all collectively have created. Once your backchat and any emotional charges are removed -- it's going to be a lot easier walking through the point. I've found in such instances of 'unfairness' - that in the end: the worst was always that which I had created around it. Remove the noise in your head and suddenly it's not that big of a deal anymore.
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ReginaldDiepenhorst
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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 19:28

Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by ReginaldDiepenhorst »

Thanks guys.

After some writing I found out that my startingpoint indeed has been uneffective.

I lived by the phrase: "I will only be happy, if others are happy", which is next to impractical, giving my power away to the situation to direct me. Which stems from my moralistic character and is indeed an outflow of my lived saviour-character.

I have created the tendency to give trust to my fellow colleagues, just because we were a 'group' of 4. And for me to see that the trust was unfounded I had to be 'betrayed'. I see that a lot of my anger comes from the point where I hoped they would 'give as I have given', mostly on the point that the most prominent colleague that plays a role within this, was the one with which I had a lot of conversations about the current world problems, the money system, human nature and where we could agree on a lot of points.

I will have the conversation with my location manager anyday soon, and will keep in mind what you said Randy, as these were practical points which I can incorporate. I will update this thread after the conversation and how it went.
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Anna
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Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by Anna »

Cool Regi.
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Juan Pablo
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Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by Juan Pablo »

Cool Regi -- lol I relate to this, definitely thanks for the support !
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Cathy
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Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by Cathy »

Cool support here - Thanks Everyone
Maya
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Re: Work-Related Issue

Post by Maya »

Cool Regi and thanks to all that supported!
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