Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me to w

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
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Nicklk1795
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Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me to w

Post by Nicklk1795 »

S pretty much its comes to the point of it being hard for me to write with certainty. Its like I build up this purposeful confusion within writing,or as if it is valid or not. Pretty much just allot of resistance.

Marlen
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by Marlen »

Nicklk1795 wrote:S pretty much its comes to the point of it being hard for me to write with certainty. Its like I build up this purposeful confusion within writing,or as if it is valid or not. Pretty much just allot of resistance.
Hi Nick, the very first stages of writing is an unconditional self-exploration which means there cannot exist any expectation on it being 'well done' or 'valid' or any other judgment as that is precisely what's making it difficult. So, look at what are the fears, expectations or points of comparison in relation to writing yourself out and in that realize that any form of resistance is only a mechanism with which we simply 'hit a blank' because we are already wanting to get to something, or fitting into a certain idea of what writing should be.

Walking through the DIP Lite will guide you step by step in precise detail what writing is about which comes as something you do where you describe what you experienced in your day, how you interacted and reacted to something you read, a person you communicated with etc. It's as simple as describing what happened during your day and within that, first getting to the see you what your thoughts are, what your experiences were, what memories come up which is what you will then as you progress learn how to work with your own words as your writing to start seeing what is it that you require to give direction to, what do you see as you develop common sense that you require to stop as a pattern that is not beneficial for you, nor is it what would be best for all to live by, what aspects do you see you are being driven by an emotion or a feeling and losing ground in terms of what is physically here in your reality and environment - this is just then the sheer aspect of 'writing yourself' where there can be no judgment, no validity, no certainty other than the physical reality aspect of you writing yourself. You will be the one that will be able to, as you share here, walk your DIP Lite, read people's blogs, watch the material - develop common sense and establish self honesty but again, that comes through time, through consistency in the exercise and process of writing yourself.

If there's any expectation, ideal or belief about how your writing should be, then write about what you expected of your writing or what you thing writing should contain or how it should be - remember that going into a judgment or comparison to other people's writings is certainly not valid at all since this is you beginning your process and as everything, there are also stages for it.

Therefore, developing self-introspection, a communication with you as your words is the first aspect.That's also why we insist on DIP Lite since there you are able to start from ground zero where you'll be taken 'by the hand' through the course material to go integrating the tools of self support as you continue on that day by day feedback process.

In terms of purpose, you are the one that will determine it equal to the starting point of why you walk process, why you are writing yourself, what are you doing this for and in that see if such reason or purpose is in fact supportive or not.

If something is still not clear then share, but I mostly suggest you simply direct yourself to write day by day to develop the writing skill first without any prejudices or expectations about it.


* I read your post here where you are already investigating some of these points, which is cool - that's why I suggest keeping track of your writings in one single thread as well, either way it is read. Day 9 - pushing through self forgiveness

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Kim S
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by Kim S »

Thanks Marlen.

Michelle
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by Michelle »

Thanks for asking the question Nick!

Really cool support from Marlen here -- thanks!

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Kristina
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by Kristina »

Cool to share this Nick and yes I absolutely agree with what Marlen has written here - DIP lite is the way in terms of learning 'how to' write and is a dose of daily support in providing us with a space each day that is structured in explaining how to utilize the tools we have to support ourselves with - so if you have not yet - check out DIP lite.

Another suggestion I have here is for me, in the beginning of my process I had a lot of resistance to writing, and when I would push myself to get the writing process going I was in constant self judgment as I felt I was making no progress. Where I found the self movement as self change and starting to see more clearly what was going on within me, applying the self forgiveness and thus stabilizing myself in terms of me within/as my world and the responsibilities I have/must walk was daily I would go to write - keep it as simple as possible by writing out ANY line of thought I saw myself having in the day. And maybe starting with the reactions to having to write, and through writing out those simple thoughts or back chats or reactions - I would apply self forgiveness for each point. And I would do that everyday - so not necessarily writing about my experience in a story format, like explaining anything - simply just writing each thought, each emotions, each fear, each reaction and apply self forgiveness. From here I found my writing become more specific and flowing from the perspective that I could write more about my experience and take it into self forgiveness more effectively - remember not to limit yourself in writing - self forgiveness is writing ourselves out also and within that we can open up dimensions of ourselves we had not realized were even here- that is where I find the most 'freedom' in the writing process - when I really let go in self forgiveness, being brutally self honesty about what it is I see I am accepting and allowing within me.

So - don't be hard on yourself and keep it simple and ask for any support if further is required.

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kaitlee
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by kaitlee »

Cool. Thanks for sharing this, Nick, and thanks Marlen and Kristina for sharing support.

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thomaslagrua
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by thomaslagrua »

Hi Nick,
The point that I still often struggle with in terms of writing is the aspect of "who am I writing this for?" Whenever I'm writing in consideration of making a point that others will understand and perhaps agree with, it often ends up being a laborious process. However, when I sit down and say, "I'm just writing this for me", the words just seem to flow, and hour or two later I've written what I required to get out of me or set right. Sometimes - especially after I've been stuck for a long time - I'll just say, the hell with it, and post one of scattered ramblings of whatever. I realize that it might not make much sense to others (I didn't even make sense to me), but for me it's off of my desk, and now I am able to continue on with other stuff. :P

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Nicklk1795
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by Nicklk1795 »

Yes, much of the resistance seems to all be from self interest, and then I will create writing as boring due to the reaction of suppressing my fears, and simply looking at writting as Inconvient compared to suppressing. So its a clearer point for me as well. It is cool to also just write to write as expression, I find it that it is in fact as simple as doing anything else.

Marlen
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by Marlen »

thomaslagrua wrote: I'll just say, the hell with it, and post one of scattered ramblings of whatever. I realize that it might not make much sense to others (I didn't even make sense to me), but for me it's off of my desk, and now I am able to continue on with other stuff. :P

Hi Thomas, writing as a process of self exploration can also become non-supportive when we haven't established a clear self-supportive starting point of doing so, I mean before Desteni I would fill up entire notebooks with 'writings' but none of it was intended to actually support myself and realize my responsibility within every single word I was writing as my own mirror, thus it was pointless and actually counterproductive as I would feed my personalities more through writing them out and justifying it as 'what comes up in the moment,' sort of like coming from this 'subconscious' type of exploration/automatic writing and yes, a lot of it made no sense because I had no idea of writing as a self-supportive and self-directive process.

So, here I do suggest that whenever one writes, one does it from the clear starting point of: I am going to write myself, to see myself, to get to know me and as such start making sense of who I am according to what goes on in my mind that we rarely ever place on paper as a common exercise within our human life - thus the relevance of writing is to actually go making sense of ourselves with the application of the tools here. If we only write as a release, that's not a solution and I quote Bernard who wrote about this recently:

Bernard Poolman wrote:In this 7 Year Journey to Life the following Guideline is Essential to Grasp. You are Writing to Place down into the Physical a Time-Measurement, an Objective, a Goal, a Commitment, a Principle, a Code by which You Want to Live. Then during the Day you are Walking that at the Cutting-Edge of Time, you are either going to Correct Yourself and thus Change by Applying the Principles that you have placed as your Guide in Writing – it’s like Writing your Corrective Code – or you’re Just going to ‘Feel Better’ because ‘You did the writing’ which means You are Not Walking the Process for Real Change, you’re only doing it for Release. That’s why the word ‘Release’ and the word ‘Real’ is in fact the same word with some letters that are changed – it’s Real-Ease or Release, isn’t it? So – the point here is Self-Honesty, you’re either Writing to Actually Change which means you Fundamentally Change your Nature and your Preprogramming or you’re Writing to Release. - Day 469: Self Realization, Writing and Time

Therefore I suggest to actually realize the starting point of writing is important, if it's only to get the stuff out it is then a point to question within ourselves if that is the integrity we're willing to establish within our self support.

This is how Publishing also comes with responsibility as these are the words we stand for and will be accountable for, this is the actual publishing/making public and known who we are and what we stand for, so if we are genuinely aware of how this world has been built upon this 'getting over with it' / 'just get it done and over with' type of mechanisms, we sure don't want to re-enact that with our own writings once again - so that's why we have suggested to write clearly stating that this is a ranting and raving, this is how I will direct each point within Self Forgiveness and self Corrective application and this is how I am going to establish a commitment to live such corrections - within doing that we are not leaving the person that reads just reading essentially a mind regurgitation on paper/on a blog which becomes non-supportive and most likely even counterproductive producing more confusion than any other support - I mean if you see it yourself that you cannot even make sense of it then certainly that wasn't supportive writing at all.

So, if one wants to write just to get stuff of the way, certainly the do it for yourself, explore it and see how supportive it actually is or not, but publishing means these are the words I stand for and this is what I am in this moment that i have placed myself to write - in such cases I suggest to then rather not publish, leave it aside for yourself and work with it to actually make sense of it and establish clear directions of self-correction because it is what we require to read in this world, there's already far too many mind-wash and personal regurgitation in the web, the unique aspect of what we do is taking self responsibility and leading it toward a self supportive direction, and when these points are not clear on how to direct, we're definitely here at the forum to provide with perspectives because we are all aware and have proven to ourselves: we are not born with common sense, we have to integrate it through reading and educating ourselves about it here and through reading everyone else's self support.

So, let's consider these whenever we place ourselves to write, to ensure that the starting point is at all times Self Support, that's also a point of personal integrity and accountability.


Thanks for sharing and bringing this point up.

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Nicklk1795
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Re: Why am I having doubt in writing, why is it hard for me

Post by Nicklk1795 »

Hi marlen, so recently it hasn't been hard to write. I actually didn't resist allot of times, and it seems there are certain dimensions that I have wrote down if why I resist.

It seems that recently I've discovered that I create a starting point of having to think about what I've heard from the other destonians, or like I had to create some sort of dependent drive to write. Now though I'm not creating the drive, and its much more comfortable t write now, but it seems an extent of something new to me, like I'm not doing it so much because others are doing it, but now that I'm doing it without feeling the need to get confirmation, is this normal? HHS it seems I'm asking here, but I just never really had this sort of a kind of confidence in what I'm doing. Like there is no mirror having to get feelings from writing, it just seems normal, but of course I have the little thoughts telling me it might be false, but I'm not giving in this time, and have clearer clarity without having to think up shit that verifies the clarity of self writing.

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