Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.


Postby Danielle » 14 Aug 2014, 02:37

I just wanted some insight to this, and whether or not I have to place writings about it. I would notice that when I would go to study my mathematics there would be this absolute inability to 'Think properly', or normally as I would do in the past. In the past I had a great relationship to my studies, and now when I go to study it there's 'No understanding'. My mind just shifts to thinking about relationships. It is like I have lost all my capacity to process information effectively or to apply the information effectively. The situation is where I then can't even bring myself to study as there is almost something constraining me from studying. Even when I push myself to do it, It's like Not being able to think properly. And then my mind goes into wanting to be released from not being able to process information.

Only thing I can remember is when I had listened to an interview about 'The problem is like solving a maths problems, really simple''. Another point that contributes to this is me constantly waiting in a 'waiting state', where I am unable to do anything. So, how does one get out of this state?

I'd like insights and perspectives here. And if it requires to be written out or not.

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Re: Studies

Postby viktor » 14 Aug 2014, 12:38

Hi Danielle,

What I've seen with regards to studying is that the more present and aware you are of yourself here, meaning, that you're silent, still, and stable within, that's when you will be able to integrate and understand information effectively. This is a skill we all possess as children, but it's gradually lost as we come of age. Though, it is possible to train ourselves back into a state of stability and silence – and here you're able to use breath, self-forgiveness, and self-commitment statements to support yourself.

So, when you sit down to study, observe what it is that goes on within you, which thoughts come up, what experiences, and you can even write them down on a paper. After you've observed yourself, and retrieved the information of what it is that is going on within you, select a point, and go and write it out, and walk through the process of applying self-forgiveness, and self-commitment statements. As you go back to study once more, you'll be able to cross-reference whether your self-forgiveness was effective, and see what more points coming up within that you require to look at – and this is how you'll be able to support yourself to clear your mind, so that it's fresh, and silent when you sit down to study. In the meantime and as you walk through this process, what you can use to support yourself to remain stable, is to be aware of and place your attention on your breath, and your physical body, as this will assist and support you to get out of your mind and into the physical.

Thus, you're actually able to use this difficulty you experience with studying to expand and support yourself and to get to know yourself better. You'll also notice that the more you clear your mind, and establish that silence of yourself as simply being here, that the speed in which you integrate new information will increase substantially. It's a fascinating process, and it shows that when we remove the mind, we give room for the potential of the body to come through, and obviously, the body is superior in comparison to the mind when it comes to integrating, and understanding information; just take a look at children, that learn so much during their first 7 years of life, only by observing, and mimicking their environment – that is the natural learning ability of the human physical body in full expression, and something we're able to return to in our adult years.


Re: Studies

Postby Danielle » 15 Aug 2014, 05:09

Thanks Viktor! That is really cool to hear!

Kids are cool people! They learn faster. without being focused on relationship and sex for example. Where they're undefined. I find myself wanting that point about me back - Where one is being undefined within their sexuality and just gets to focus on just expressing themselves, learning and having fun. When adult it becomes this 'Oh, I have to express myself this way', 'Then comes the focus on sex, and the relationships', 'Oh, i like that one, and that one', ''I want to be with this person that person''. Kids aren't like that, but now that I see these points within me it is hard to relate to kids now. - Me being adult..

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Re: Studies

Postby YoganBarrientos » 19 Aug 2014, 07:36

Hi Danielle,
one thing that causes disruption in studying for school is energy. What are looking for within this point you opened up?

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Re: Studies

Postby Jeanne » 20 Aug 2014, 03:23

Another point that contributes to this is me constantly waiting in a 'waiting state', where I am unable to do anything. So, how does one get out of this state?
Hi Danielle,

I would suggest writing out all the possible scenarios that you are waiting for and see what comes up.
Have you tried this?


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Re: Studies

Postby PaulQuessy » 20 Aug 2014, 04:03

Did the relationship to your studies change in any way - like before you stated that you had a great relationship to them - did it change in anyway? If it did change there could be a build up of resistance towards working on maths problems due to the relationship changing.

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Re: Studies

Postby Daniel » 21 Aug 2014, 18:00

Hey Danielle,

For me, I loved math, so I basically had the opposite reaction toward it as you're now experiencing. I would pay careful attention when learning all the new rules and operations, so that when I was faced with the math problems, I could excel with confidence in my answer being right; however, I did experience a lot of resistance when trying to learn other subjects that were new or foreign to me, especially when there wasn't a clear answer for how to do it.

There are a few keys here that I've learned post-graduation that have been a result of my self-investigation through DIP and JTL blogs. Firstly, my drive and motivation that allowed me to have a keen focus within mathematics was of a mind starting point. It was the desire to be right/certain, and the desire to be better than others. When I progressed into more difficult levels of math and I started falling behind my peers, I essentially gave up, took easier math classes, and then chose a college major that had no math in it. I did not push myself through the challenge when I didn't believe I could be the the best/better student...sad story, but it's a consequence of my starting point.

The second main point was how the resistance toward other subject areas was experienced, how it affected me, and what the solution is. Very similar as how you described your experience, it felt like my mind was shutting down, getting hazy, thinking about other things, being easily distracted, or actually looking for distractions! I essentially developed a pattern of going into procrastination whenever I didn't know how to do whatever I was working on to a level of perfection. I don't know if you struggle with the perfectionism and desire for greatness as I did, but that factor of not knowing how to do or approach the material I was learning or working on was often why I sought distraction and allowed focused to shift all over the place.

Solution: If you don't know how to do something, make learning how to do it your first and only goal. The tendency to become overwhelmed in the mind often starts with trying to do Step 2, 3, 4 and/or 5 before applying yourself fully within Step 1. It takes your directive principle here because the mind wants the quick and easy way, so if it seems like you can get a multi-step process done in one go, for example if you believe you don't need to revisit the foundational understandings because "I've already done it," "they're so easy" or whatever excuse you come up with, really stop, forgive those ego-driven thoughts, and throw yourself into the basics to build a strong foundation before moving on. Figure out what you don't understand, write down all the questions and uncertainties, get the answers, and practice applying them. When they are integrated well, you will fly through your math problems and rebuild your confidence and self-esteem.

Also, if you find that your distracting thoughts are reoccurring, write about them. Get them out of the cycling in your mind so that you can practically gain insight into them, as well as clear them, so you'll have one less thought vying for your attention when you're trying to focus on something else.

Enjoy the process! :)

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Re: Studies

Postby christine » 21 Aug 2014, 19:11

Hi Danielle -

Very cool support here! Also, with this new venture, realize that if you are being hard on yourself, it is just another diversion tactic of the mind, so, just breathe and slow yourself down, taking it one step at a time, one breath at a time, which will assist you to not get overwhelmed and want to give up.

What I also found supportive when facing resistance in learning something new, was the realization that on the other side of that resistance was change!



Postby Danielle » 26 Aug 2014, 03:02

Hi - I just wanted to ask about this because I find it interesting.

I came to the university today to study but when I end up coming here to study I am more focused on learning Desteni - Learning about the mind - I pretty much only just move into this environment to focus on Desteni. It becomes like ''Ok, I am here to learn'' then I would either come here to ask questions, or email a someone from Desteni to learn get insights and perspectives, and it is like my uni studies get completely ignored.

And it is like I cannot bring myself to find interest in my uni studies, or much outside of desteni. I'm not saying that my interest in desteni is ''wrong or bad''.. Just would like some perspectives to how a destonian who also studies at uni would balance the two and how to look upon what I am learning to combine with my uni studies or however it should go..

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Re: Studies

Postby sylvia » 26 Aug 2014, 09:16

Maybe you can look into the point why you favor doing Desteni related things over uni studies? What happened that those two separate actions are now in conflict with each other or even competing with one another? What is it that you encounter/face when studying uni stuff? Have you looked at it from a practical point, like, what do I end up with when I neglect my studies at the uni?

When it comes to studying I've found that back chats and repeating thoughts that express a certain opinion are highly distracting and taking away all my focus. It would be cool to see if you still favor Desteni when you dig with the Desteni tools into this question of yours, since what you've described you've been doing thus far is asking questions/emailing Destonians to answer questions. What if you would study Desteni like you would study your uni material, would that be the same? Would there be a difference between uni studies or Desteni studies looking from the starting point of both are assisting you to move on in life?

Would it make a difference when you make strict agreements with yourself about when you do Desteni stuff and when uni stuff? Then you can see what thoughts you move into when resistances build up and work with that.

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