Questions about Sex and Marriage?

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ZachWang
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Joined: 20 May 2014, 08:50
Location: Beijing

Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by ZachWang »

I have not yet experienced sex with another girl.I have not yet married.Traditionally for me,I can not have sex before marriage.I am 21 years old now btw.But I do not want to marry because it has no point.I want to transcend the sexual desire within me,but it seems impossible.My queastion is:Can I sort out all the sexual tendency or can I just let go of this point without any physical experience with another being but only obtaining all the knowledge from what other people say?If anyone has had such experience,can you share your experience?And how do I cope the marriage things because my parents will surely force me to marry, as a strongly ingrained belief/thought that one must marry and have children.So,marriage is quite a situation I have to face in the future.Sex is also a difficult point because once my sex system was activated,I have been being burnt by the surging energy within my solar plexus from time to time once the energy had been accumulated enough to consume me I will be completely of the mind in that moment,without doing any forgiveness or four-count breath.So,again,my questions:Can I just transcend all the pictures within my brain without any physical contact with a girl?Can I marry or not/follow my parents's words or not?What were my specific responsibilities if I had married and had given birth to a child?THANKS!

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Andrea Rossouw
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Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 11:41

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by Andrea Rossouw »

I have not yet experienced sex with another girl.I have not yet married.Traditionally for me,I can not have sex before marriage.I am 21 years old now btw.But I do not want to marry because it has no point.I want to transcend the sexual desire within me,but it seems impossible.
For most or many people overcoming/transcending sexual addiction is very difficult - however if one decides to to stop an addiction within oneself - the first thing i suggest you do is to change your mind set around 'it seems impossible', because what you will notice is that if in your mind you secretly place that information as your starting point - then this is a door that one uses to always go through that allows one to fail - where it becomes a self fulfilled prophecy, so to speak. So a suggestion is to observe what happens inside yourself as you say 'well it seems impossible' - a decision is made before hand that you will probably fail and if you do you can simply remind yourself that it was in-any way to difficult for it to work... so do you see how I am moving further and further away from the actual point which is - that only you can completely absolutely change/stop the addiction. And an addiction does not stop from mere want and half attempts - you must be able to go all the way - as far as it is required for you to go - which brings us to the next point:

My queastion is:Can I sort out all the sexual tendency or can I just let go of this point without any physical experience with another being but only obtaining all the knowledge from what other people say?If anyone has had such experience,can you share your experience?
the emphasis for us to stopping/changing any addiction is for Self to take 'self-responsibility' this means in itself that you are faced with the following point - sex in itself is not evil or bad - it is a physical expression with either yourself or another. So firstly I suggest to observe if you have created a polarity judgment to sex based on what you have seen or even in reaction to your parents wanting to force marriage onto you -where you now want to take on an 'opposites' response where you 'reject' mainstream actions or practices such as relationships and sex. So I would start here - to clear through self forgiveness any judgments you have created - because in doing so you are still living your life according to your parents - because you are in reaction to them and are thus not living your own life. So you want to get to a point where you remove ideas and judgments formed from your experiences by or with others and now have a clean slate. Now you want to look at the thing for yourself - what worth do you see for yourself in sex or relationships - once you remove the parents and pornography which are both points where our view on sex and relationships get 'tainted' and we created 'scewed' views which are not really us but us 'in reaction'. So for example you can re-establish for yourself what would be enjoyable - would it be enjoyable to perhaps one day have a partner with whom you can share activities and yourself with, same with sex it is a physical expression point which can be very enjoyable BUT

here again one wants to identify any wants and addictions to both points - because if one taints these points with hidden desires then again you move forward wanting and wishing and desiring for these things and then again you trap yourself in the energy addiction and loose sight of yourself; meaning practically one wants to get to a SELF stability point where you are with yourself and are ok to be only by yourself -and if any desire for another to complete you or for sex to fulfill you comes up one clears this with sf. Otherwise one spends your life chasing experiences instead of being here with yourself -and then if a person or opportunity comes along and you see it will be enjoyable you move on the point. So to answer your question about transcending sex - now that you have first cleared your starting points towards sex, now your question about sex or no sex might change. But again here I suggest the point of considering self responsibility. If you would like to have sexual experiences then become practical in supporting yourself to be with another. Then one can meet someone and give it a try and if you have removed the addition - then you will find it to be more enjoyable because the mind is not racing ahead for the energy - it is you here, stable, breathing enjoying yourself and the other. if you do for whatever reason decide not to pursue sex at this stage - then still I suggest approach the point from self responsibility -meaning - you can draw on the experiences of others to do self forgiveness on addictions and wants etc - but at the same time the key here is to support you to be effective - so transcendence would simply mean either way with or without a partner to see 'what exists inside of YOU' and work with that - to clear any energy points that move you and get to a clear effective starting point.
And how do I cope the marriage things because my parents will surely force me to marry, as a strongly ingrained belief/thought that one must marry and have children.So,marriage is quite a situation I have to face in the future.Sex is also a difficult point because once my sex system was activated,I have been being burnt by the surging energy within my solar plexus from time to time once the energy had been accumulated enough to consume me I will be completely of the mind in that moment,without doing any forgiveness or four-count breath.So,again,my questions:Can I just transcend all the pictures within my brain without any physical contact with a girl?Can I marry or not/follow my parents's words or not?What were my specific responsibilities if I had married and had given birth to a child?
Well it is difficult for us to support you on the marriage point because unless you can say no - which only you can self honestly assess - we cannot really give more suggestions other than you must decide what you are wiling to stand up to - are you going to follow your families culture or not - what are the consequences if you don't - you will have to asses all these points. Or is it simply a matter of you being afraid to say no to your family? So consider the truth within yourself and then make a decision. Sex - yes as mentioned above you can use writings and self forgiveness to work with all experiences/pictures/ideas about sex within you. By simply writing out all that exists within you and step by step applying self forgiveness.

Responsibilities of a child - yes I would say that if you do for whatever reason decide to follow through with such a wedding - consider the child as someone you have after all decided to bring into this life - therefore you are responsible. But again - best to consider your role in perpetuating this cultural approach where all that it might require is you standing up inside yourself and addressing your 'fear of family' and actually saying no - and from this you are not bringing a child into a relationship based on culture - where you are not present within your life but are forcing yourself to be there. This has continued consequences for all in the world if we continue making decisions based on fears and illusions- that have nothing to do with reality and making decisions because you want to be with the person or want to become a parent.

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ZachWang
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Location: Beijing

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by ZachWang »

Thanks,Andrea!

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YoganBarrientos
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Location: Miami, Florida

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by YoganBarrientos »

Hi wangzhangkai,
is there any question left?

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ZachWang
Posts: 207
Joined: 20 May 2014, 08:50
Location: Beijing

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by ZachWang »

Hello, Yogan,now I have no any questions about sex and marriage.It was nothing but fear and morality,basically fear of what other people will probably think of me if I do not obey the moral rules that have been kind of ingrained within and as who I am,meaning that I will no more exist if I am not the programmed and limited information and knowledge.So it is nothing but to face and be myself as who I really am.So, I will do self-forgiveness and self-application in daily life to release and stop all the energetic reactions and frictions within my mind ,fears and anxiety, to be a constantly stable being.Anyway,thanks,Yogan.

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barbara
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by barbara »

Awesome question Wangzhangkai!

Thanks for the great perspectives, Andrea!

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kim amourette
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Joined: 13 Aug 2011, 12:53

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by kim amourette »

Cool support Andrea!

Gian
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Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by Gian »

yes, cool posts here, thanks

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PaulQuessy
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Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by PaulQuessy »

Awesome support here!!!

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Terrone28
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Joined: 21 Nov 2014, 08:55

Re: Questions about Sex and Marriage?

Post by Terrone28 »

For me, I can't transcend sexual desire, it's like a normal thing for me as a man, and it comes naturally within me.
But for you, I think you just don't want to have a commitment regarding marriage yet.
Try to do some sexual thing, maybe it might work for you and make you feel good, and might change your principles. :mrgreen:

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