Relationships

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
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JessicaA
Posts: 14
Joined: 15 Apr 2015, 00:00

Relationships

Post by JessicaA »

Hello,

I have been experiencing myself within relationships and I am con-fused. I am making vlogs and talking about this. Today Gabriel make me realise about a point ...Having a compromise in a relationship is practical? And this point moved me a lot inside myself due to my last relationship that I made with someone that didn´t wanted to have a compromise but we shared everyday our lives like if we had a relation, and I had a lot of reactions due to him telling me that he had more relationship with girls. Besides he resisted a lot to invite me to go out, he once invited me a coffee but the next times I was the one paying for the meals in his house - I experienced myself extrange but I did it to investigate more about this feelings and emotions I was having and it was cool.

I still have a reaction within this - I know is not bad or good but ...It´s practical to be in a relationship like this? Having friends without a compromise is something practical?
I have been experiencing desires to be as this friend fo mine. Experiencing with more people, having this kind of relationships - sometimes I feel afraid of what I feel and of what I want to experience myself. Because I was raised in a family with different ideas about this. And indeed I want to find the "correct" one, as another friend tells me that If I want someone honest why I am searching boys in this scenarios. But I feel like attracted to this situations.

For me it was a great assistance to be in this relation I learned a lot, and I regret many behaviours I had due to my reactions, is a shame I can´t make a connection with him again and keep learning about this points. I was enjoying a lot until I fell in love and now he is very distant. And I also feel rare due to wanting to be with him again, although he has more girls, also I like that of him... I am very surprised lol...

LOL...I don´t know what I wanted to ask. But, what is your approach to investigate one self in this relations? Did you had any experience as this one?
Well, I wll investigate more.
I have seen it practical to have someone as this close to
follow investigating points within me, and I am really interested in having an agreement.
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barbara
Posts: 622
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: Relationships

Post by barbara »

Hey Jessica!

I would investigate my starting point within you wanting the relationship with this male, because if, as you say, you desire to have an agreement, would you consider him to be able to walk an agreement with you as an equal, to be able to support you within/as the partnership to align yourself to life as/within the physical? Would you be prepared to support the being to see where he is compromising himself by avoiding self-responsibility within who he is in relationships? Also, suggested to look at how you are compromising yourself by subjecting yourself to ideas of self-investigation pertaining to this being; what it is in particular that attracts you to him - is it a point of him being more attractive because you have to prove yourself interesting to him because of the competition factor that is given through him being with other girls too? Suggested to self-investigate all the energy points that you are participating in when such ideas of 'self-investigation with him' come up and do some writing and self-forgiveness on this.

Thanks for sharing!
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JessicaA
Posts: 14
Joined: 15 Apr 2015, 00:00

Re: Relationships

Post by JessicaA »

Hello Barbara
. Thanks for your answer, it assisted me to see more clearly....


Initially it was not like the image I wanted in a male but with time I experienced an attraction...firstly to his life experience, his knowledge about spirituality, about illuminaties, about certain music, culture, paintings. I admire him so much, due to he is the one directing his life, he lives alone, and wow! he has many points I like, also I can support the idea of him dating other women....due to the way I was learning through him to see many patterns and behaviours of mine...but yes, he didn´t accepted any kind of support of me and he wasn´t kind when I was in his house....the sex thing was just like going to mc donald´s - asking for the meal, eating and that´s it...

Yes, I´ll write more about this.....
Thanks :)
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barbara
Posts: 622
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: Relationships

Post by barbara »

Yes, Jessica, write out the moments where you are valuing knowledge and information that the other might simply be regurgitating and look at how you are compromising yourself by doing so. Have a look at where you are projecting onto the being and bring the points back to self. Also consider the point of self-compromise/self-abuse pertaining to sex - what are you allowing and accepting within and as yourself as the relationship to self?
Also suggested to invest in the What is Sex recordings on eqafe: https://eqafe.com/series/6-what-is-sex to understand what goes on multidimensionally when you're having sex.

Would be cool to read what you discover about yourself through your writings and what you decide to take responsibility for with self-forgiveness and correct into a living self-expression!

Thanks for sharing! :)
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addseo1118
Posts: 4
Joined: 29 Apr 2015, 04:05

Re: Relationships

Post by addseo1118 »

I like your all links. They are cool.
I am glad to see your recommends and suggests.
I have the same problem as you.
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viktor
Posts: 1394
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Relationships

Post by viktor »

So far, what I've realized about agreements is that most of the times, they'll open up with people that you're not particularly attracted towards, that you don't particularly desire or have an immediate interest in. This has been the case with me, where my agreement opened up with an individual that I wouldn't have considered as a potential partner, unless I'd been walking with Desteni.

Thus, when you're looking for a potential partner to walk in an agreement with, don't limit yourself to how you feel about someone. Take more dimensions into your considerations, look at practical compatibility, relationship to money, ability to communicate, whether there are any addictions involved, or any other character weaknesses, and also it makes sense to evaluate whether the person can grasp the process of self-creation, or whether there is at least is potential for the person to be able to grasp them later on. I would suggest that you thoroughly look at a potential partner, evaluate him and his compatibility with you as effectively as you're able to with the information you have, and if you notice that there is a lack of information, spend more time with the individual.

From what I've seen, many women tend to rush into relationships without having established the character and integrity of their partner, and mostly due to feelings love - and that can have dire consequences. Try instead a scientific approach to relationships, and look at it as a experiment involving reactive chemical substances, where your goal is to find a substance out there, that can match yours, and bring through an effective result.
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tormod
Posts: 1086
Joined: 25 Jan 2012, 12:05

Re: Relationships

Post by tormod »

Hi JessicaA

I also have experience some confution inn relations to relationship. I have had quite some support to understand it. What I find imporatn is to look at what is it I can Give inn a relationship. If we look at the world today we see that so mush in a relationship is based on expecting things, to be granted things and money, sex etc... It is no wonder why so many relationships are broken and end up inn seperation. We have this starting point of expecting this and that, or craving it. Like a addicition, inn stead we should look at it more Holistic, to how can i contribute in this relationship. What can I give? Driving, prepare food, play board games, knitting, painting together, etc.

I look at the phenomena of relationships - like what can I give to a relationship. Practically and quite physical. That I have learned from having been often lost in simple desires, of sex, body and possessions.

Thank you for sharing - a pleasure to walk with you.
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Kristina
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:18
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Re: Relationships

Post by Kristina »

Hi Jessica,

What Viktor shared here I see as quite relevant to consider:
viktor wrote:From what I've seen, many women tend to rush into relationships without having established the character and integrity of their partner, and mostly due to feelings love - and that can have dire consequences.
This is the compromise - willing to be involved with someone who does not have our best interest in mind, where despite what we see they are living, and that perhaps they are not willing to walk an actual, self-honest agreement, we would pursue them anyways. This is then up to us, as women, to check our starting point. Often that positive buzz of the initial attraction sends us soaring, we are stuck on cloud 9, and cannot see reality for what it is. I would investigate your willingness to compromise yourself, such as willing to be in a relationship where there is no actual commitment or willingness to commit to one individual, and walk the process individually, together, equal as one.

And just because the relationship is over, doesn't mean you cannot still use it to assist and support you in your process. As you've shared many things you 'liked' about him, and what caused that 'attraction' - check within yourself to see if those are qualities or actions you believe you do not live or have and whether you are wanting to use this other being to somehow possess that yourself. Attraction is often times parts of ourselves we are not willing to recognize or have not yet lived - so can use the relationship still as bringing aspects or parts back to yourself that you think only 'he' expressed.

In the end, it's YOU you must live with. And yes, though relationships and the potential of agreements, and the attraction and positive energy is all enticing... the point must remain that you would rather build upon a foundation of principles rather than in-the-moment desire. Dare to stand up within yourself, respecting yourself, to say what you will and will not accept and allow - within yourself and within your partner. Let us know how it goes.
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PaulQuessy
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
Location: Waterloo
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Re: Relationships

Post by PaulQuessy »

Hey Jessica,

Within the desire to be with him what I would look at are the specifics of that desire and what you're admiring about him and take that back to yourself.

Many times attraction comes up to signal points that we are not living within ourselves, what were not giving to ourselves and thus we want to live it vicariously through another being which is then seen as attraction.

You said that you admire his direction and that he is living alone, which is also an indicator of self responsibility, so take a look at those points that you're admiring about him and bring them back to self to further understand the desire and what you're actually desiring to give to yourself.
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Jeanne
Posts: 287
Joined: 15 Jun 2011, 22:39
Location: New York

Re: Relationships

Post by Jeanne »

he didn´t accepted any kind of support of me and he wasn´t kind when I was in his house....the sex thing was just like going to mc donald´s - asking for the meal, eating and that´s it...
Hi Jessica,

To be attracted to someone who does not support you is a real key here. Why would we accept that for ourselves?
To understand the multidimensional possibility that we are in fact programmed to be "attracted" requires some study on your part.
It's worth it and it's not easy.
There isn't a "party line" here on how we will answer you on this forum. Others have given you excellent direction here.
Thanks for having the courage to challenge yourself here.
:)
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