Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
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Nicklk1795
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Joined: 19 Mar 2013, 00:06

Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Postby Nicklk1795 » 21 Nov 2015, 03:00

So currently I am living with my parents, and am walking through resisting them within "not wanting to be like them". I've seen that there are dimensions to this, such as blame, self sabotage, basically everything I've always existed as in relationship to them. Currently I'm just focusing on doing activities, chores, and working around taking self responsibility, to direct myself more clearly through these points of resistance to them.

For example - I see that when around my father, I'm always afraid he's going to tell me I'm doing something wrong, or will yell at me, or basically work around doing the usual routine that we've related towards eachother.

My mother I see, is the character who will try and excuse what I'm doing "wrong", and so within this, I see that I usually relate to my mother in running to her, or rather wanting to be around her, than my father.

My sister, I see has allot of anger within herself, and within this I relate to her in trying to either please my parents to try and "win" as the "better child", or I either will try and "help" her or "protect" her from how she's feeling, in the idea that my father or mother are limiting her, and so I need to be "the hero".

So I'm still walking through these points, and would just like to hear what other people might have went through, or some more in depth information on how one experiences themselves with walking out of the patterns with their family, and how resistance occurs.

Would appreciate any perspectives on this as well.

Thank you :)



Michelle
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Joined: 15 Jun 2011, 14:08
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Re: Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Postby Michelle » 25 Sep 2016, 09:10

Hey Nick,

I would say you just need to develop your stand with each individual person, so that no matter what they do, you know who you are with them and you will not waver or fall. Like asking yourself, who are you going to be with them that is based on principles. Walk the SF process in understanding where each issue with the family member is coming from, and see what solutions and living words come up that you can start doing and developing!

In my personal experience, for my sister, I had fears of her saying certain things about my relationship with Desteni, and this is because of me existing in a 'taking things personally' character and also a fear of her ignoring me or talking shit about me to family and friends. So it's really a matter of assessing what are the hidden fears, and asking yourself ''who am I going to be IF this happens?'' because it may not happen but you will at least be PREPARED and KNOW who to be and what to do if something does happen.

Also, these recordings should support:
https://eqafe.com/p/family-vs-friends
https://eqafe.com/p/interview-request-family-dynamics
https://eqafe.com/p/challenging-relatio ... ife-review



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tylersr
Posts: 264
Joined: 18 Jul 2011, 22:49

Re: Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Postby tylersr » 26 Sep 2016, 05:53

Hi Nick,

What I've noticed with respect to parents is that, due to the similarities between the parents' resonances and the child's, it will at first be very difficult to walk any sort of process of self-change in relation to one's parents. This is because you may see a pattern, apply self-forgiveness for it, and then prepare to walk the correction but even if you correct the pattern within yourself, the same or a very nearly similar pattern will continue to exist in the parents. So, when one has first corrected a pattern that is shared with one's parents, you are trying to walk the correction but the parents still have they not taken responsibility for the the pattern you just worked to identify and correct within yourself. Additionally, any correction you may walk for yourself within such a pattern has the potential to trigger reactions within your parents as addressing the pattern within yourself may cause your parents to then become aware of the pattern within them.

So, from self's perspective, it can be frustrating to run into patterns you've previously addressed of which your parents may not even be aware.

From parents' perspective, and this is especially true if they have not been walking Process with awareness, the Child's correction of a shared pattern now presents a threat to a certain aspect of their mind that they may not even be sure of how to address/correct or hold some guilt over allowing to exist in the first place. Some parents may react by attempting to stop the child from correcting the pattern. If such behavior is abusive, it is advised to get self out of the relationship.

In other situations, all that's required is for the child to stand up/speak up to direct the point within the Parent as their Self, directing the parent to awareness of the same pattern and offering support in walking solutions if necessary.



Gian
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Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Re: Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Postby Gian » 26 Sep 2016, 10:44

great support here

Nick I can only say one more thing. as long as any reaction or movement within you exists - apply self forgiveness. Because what Tyler said is so, and thus it is about who you are, and if anything within you still moves, you must be able to breathe and stand, until the change through space and time is the manifested results of in fact change.



Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Re: Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Postby Gian » 26 Sep 2016, 20:49

This Vlog can help

Understanding reactions - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adhHT4qIRgc



Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Re: Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Postby Gian » 26 Sep 2016, 20:54

Here is some cool Self forgiveness to read on

Parenting patterning - fear and control - http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... ?q=parents




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tylersr
Posts: 264
Joined: 18 Jul 2011, 22:49

Re: Looking for blogs/interviews in relation to resistance to parents

Postby tylersr » 28 Oct 2016, 03:13

Hey Nick, how's it going with walking the points you previously mentioned?




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