Can anyone share some practical perspectives about how I can move and voice myself smoothly and honestly in participating the world and other human beings?
What I find essential with communicating is to always be clear of my starting point. Why is it that I want to say something. For instance, when, years ago, I just wanted to be a part of everything and everyone around me and I'd just say anything, it didn't go too well, because I didn't make much sense. I tried to be funny and make jokes around what people said, or how they said it, even though mostly
just kidding and not debasing. However, I was making myself dependent on them responding to me in some benevolent way from where I concluded I was a part of it, I belonged to the group. I noticed that it didn't really support me in my expression and making contact. It didn't feel good either. So, with time I realized I have to take myself seriously in what I communicate. I make sure within me that what I say is me, is coming from a point of self-honesty and wanting to share myself. In this I also see that I am taking the respective others seriously as who they are, as beings - and not just as an environment, where I want to fit in; to cover up and handle insecurities by simply talking or making jokes.
The 'smooth' part is a process. The more you allow yourself to speak self-honestly coming from a point of unconditional self-acceptance, the more Here you are in and as you, as self, the easier, 'smoother'/more natural it is. Writing has helped me a lot for this. Because when I am clear on how I stand towards something, what relationship within self I have towards a point, I am able to see and understand it and thus communicate it - so it becomes a communication of myself as the point. This allows for a certain 'smoothness' if you will. You can also say you are allowing yourself to live communication. You can check out the eqafe site
and do a search on living words, for instance, to get more clarity on what is meant here.
The slowness that you are mentioning is of course totally understandable when you look at the experience with your dad which created fear of doing something wrong. I would suggest to work on the fear with self-forgiveness. Rewalk all those fear experiences you've had, where you feared doing something wrong and how this played out. Forgive yourself for interpretations and reactions, self-suppressions and the fear. You can do this here or for yourself. Once you have released yourself from the fear memories that still hold this energy and where one takes these moments as a subconscious starting point and so recreates the experiences, you will be able to make a fresh start without this overlay. It will allow you to access more self-direction in your movement because you are clear within/as yourself.
Please share any questions and further writings! Hope this helps!