Daily Practivism: Facing Self-Blame

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SunetteSpies
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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:10

Daily Practivism: Facing Self-Blame

Post by SunetteSpies »

Daily Practivism: Facing Self-Blame

When one accept/allow self to blame self for something/someone that manifested within one’s world/reality – it stands within the context of accepting and allowing self to ‘take things personally’; where – instead investigating the point/person/event that manifested in functional practicality to look for a directive-solution that’ll be ‘best for all’ involved within such a moment – self accept and allow self to fall into the trap of self-victimization which is in fact: deliberate manipulation of self and another for seeking attention.

Let’s have a look at this more closely with an example:
Let’s say you have a group of friends/colleagues/acquaintances and there is this one person that you have grown a ‘liking to’ from a friendship-perspective and you nurture that relationship to become more intimate/close as you assist/support that person through their life-experiences as you learn that they’re experiencing difficult circumstances. One day – that person, for example does something / acts in a particular way that you feel impedes / discredits your relationship with that person and because of that one action; you take that what that person did was to/towards ‘you personally’. You immediately perceive their actions as an ‘attack against you’ / ‘your relationship’ with that person and accept/allow yourself to ‘blame yourself’ for the outcome in various ways, such as:
“How could I have trusted him/her” / “How could I have been so stupid” / “Why did I ever believe him/her” / “Why did I ever think the relationship with real” / “Why did I ever support him/her” – so, the ‘nature of thoughts within taking something/someone personally stand within the nature of ‘self-blame’ as ‘punishing self for an outcome’ which is ‘victimizing self’ to/towards a person/situation and in that self-victimization will seek/search for attention from/of others because “something bad has happened to self and therefore self deserves the attention”. It’s a deliberate self-created mini-tantrum throwing tactic.

What must be understood within the system of/as self-blame is the following:
People’s actions stand within the context of ‘who they are’ within themselves and their worlds. In each person exist only themselves within/as their own little world – nothing and no-one exists within a person but themselves with their own interests, wants, needs and desires as the mind consciousness system manifest.
If we in fact existed within equality and oneness – standing as all as one as equal here as self: this world and human-beings wouldn’t be in the state it is at the moment of/as separation, survival, greed and self-interest existing within the context of ‘survival of the fittest’ and ‘to each his own’.
There’s no need to take other’s actions “personally” because it’s never done to/towards others, it’s always done within/as their own agenda within/as ‘who they are’ and accept/allow themselves to be and live. This is important to see/realise/understand as it’ll make one’s practical application process within such moments a lot easier within/as understanding that – a person’s actions is because of themselves and has got nothing to do with anyone ‘personally’.

So – whenever one accept/allow self to participate in self-blame, take note of the following points within/as self:

When one see/realise/understand self is accepting/allow self to go into self-blame within one’s thoughts – consider the following points:

STEP 1:
Self-blame indicate where one is taking another’s actions towards self personally, so – have a look at what idea self created of the relationship with the person that self experienced that person as negating/destroying by/as actions/words – which would mean, that – self created an idea in one’s mind about the nature/experience of the relationship; when the reality of the relationship was not in fact so.
For example: in the example above, the person believed that their connection with the being was supportive/intimate – creating an idea of the relationship being supportive/intimate but then the person acted in an abusive way, for example suddenly ordering them around, throwing things around, yelling/screaming, using them as an emotional ‘punshing bag’. Obvious commonsense indicate this is not support within intimacy as equal and one consideration and regard.
But = instead of self looking at the situation objectively; self goes into self-blame, taking the being ‘personally’ as though it’s ‘all self’s fault’ – not realising/seeing/understanding that the person is in their own individual process and it’s to look/assist/support the being within the context of their own process.

Self-Blame is also a defence-mechanism / ‘hiding/suppression’-mechanism that is utilized when one face extensive fear within self towards a person/event within self and self’s world, to – instead of confronting the situation/person, go into self-blame as self-victimization and ‘punish self’ within self – like accepting and allowing self to rather ‘take all the abuse’ into and as self than having to face the confrontation. And we accept and allow all of this bullshit – just because of accepted and allowed fear of standing-up within self and confronting a situation/person.

Thus, STEP 1 is to see/realise/understand that self-blame is when one is taking another’s actions personally within self/self’s world and is attempting to manipulate self and others to not have to confront/direct/stand-up within and as a moment/with a person.

STEP 2:
To ensure that self do not accept/allow self to transmit the blame to/towards the other and create a ‘polarity shift’ where self try and shift all the responsibility on the other person to blame them, which is again not taking self-responsibility but only shifting blame – is to assist/support self in walking the self-blame point through self-forgiveness. Looking at / Focusing on why self is accepting/allowing self to go into self-blame / victimization – instead of standing-up/directing/taking self-responsibility for the moment/person as self. Have a look at/investigate what fears are coming-up within self towards the person/situation – what fears is self trying to hide-from/suppress instead of forgiving, facing, releasing and changing to step self from hiding within/as defence-mechanism of the mind and manipulating one’s world to seek attention = to becoming a stable, standing, assertive and clear directive-principle within self and self’s world.
Investigate these points – play-out the situation/event within the person within-self and accordingly walk-through the event with the person within self, like – replaying the memories/memory of past-experienecs where one accepted and allowed self to go into self-blame instead of self-directive principle: and apply self forgiveness for the reactions/thoughts and release self from the construct of/as self-blame through self forgiveness.

STEP 3:
Then comes the self corrective application – as and when self see the person act/behave to/towards self in any way that does not stand within the context of support/assistance of equality and oneness, it’s to not take this personally and fall into self-victimization as self-blame; but to breathe and assist/support the other as self to see that their actions is no more acceptable/allowed towards you/in your world and to so assist/support them to see/realise/understand the effect/consequence of their actions on others. In this – one assist/support another to see – instead of self falling into/as accepted and allowed abuse from the mind and others.

Therefore – first assist/support self to not take things personally, but realise/see/understand that other’s actions are because of what they accept/allow within themselves and their living/behaviour and can utilize such moments as opportunities to assist/support others to see the effects of their actions/behaviours – instead of self going into taking things personally and so not helping self or others, but only feeding the mind more energy and time-looping self and another’s process.

Enjoy

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Markus m
Posts: 39
Joined: 02 Aug 2011, 20:19

Re: Daily Practivism: Facing Self-Blame

Post by Markus m »

Hear hear! Thanks for sharing this point for all. Currently investigating the blame and self-manipulation point my self. This really helps. Thanks Sunette

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Anna
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
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Re: Daily Practivism: Facing Self-Blame

Post by Anna »

Awesome practical support here - thanks Sunette!
People’s actions stand within the context of ‘who they are’ within themselves and their worlds. In each person exist only themselves within/as their own little world – nothing and no-one exists within a person but themselves with their own interests, wants, needs and desires as the mind consciousness system manifest.
If we in fact existed within equality and oneness – standing as all as one as equal here as self: this world and human-beings wouldn’t be in the state it is at the moment of/as separation, survival, greed and self-interest existing within the context of ‘survival of the fittest’ and ‘to each his own’.
There’s no need to take other’s actions “personally” because it’s never done to/towards others, it’s always done within/as their own agenda within/as ‘who they are’ and accept/allow themselves to be and live. This is important to see/realise/understand as it’ll make one’s practical application process within such moments a lot easier within/as understanding that – a person’s actions is because of themselves and has got nothing to do with anyone ‘personally’.

joe kou
Posts: 460
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:52

Re: Daily Practivism: Facing Self-Blame

Post by joe kou »

thank you sunette - vital stuff here

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Randy
Posts: 92
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 07:48

Re: Daily Practivism: Facing Self-Blame

Post by Randy »

There’s no need to take other’s actions “personally” because it’s never done to/towards others, it’s always done within/as their own agenda within/as ‘who they are’ and accept/allow themselves to be and live. This is important to see/realise/understand as it’ll make one’s practical application process within such moments a lot easier within/as understanding that – a person’s actions is because of themselves and has got nothing to do with anyone ‘personally’.
excellent practical support...

Thank you.

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