Desteni Forum

Two points:
How can I stop backchat, reactions and judgments when I do nothing but walking on the street?

How can I stop myself when I accumulate energy during my work?

After I released much energies inside me and felt quite relaxed and calm, I went into reality of people. Practically speaking, I walked on the street full of people because every day, I walked to go to my workplace. When I kept walking and viewing people, those little judgments and reactions started to build up where I was not even able to be aware of it. And a sense of stress, burden, depression and anxiety would come up inside my solar plexus. So, after walking and viewing about 20 mins, it became quite a burden for me to feel myself and breath became heavy.

So, the stimulation was more of picture. Besides walking on the street of viewing people, I also found that when I participated in my working and talked with my colleagues, I still had the same reaction and judgment which indicated that my self-forgiveness was not specific and valid. And I realise that probably the most effective way of applying self-forgiveness was in an immediate way where once I had reactions I would immediately stop and breathe to do self-forgiveness and then face the situation and person again. But it is not a supportive environment to do so in the workplace so that I have to breathe to let go of or depress or restore my reactions for a moment and then I would sort out them after work.

I found my tiredness and resistance towards work. I was so easy to go into sleepiness during work. I commit myself to be a professional teacher through practising, practising and practising!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist studying materials of words and practising presenting myself in front of kids, not realising that in resistance I actually separated myself from the word learning and teaching because learning means absolutely openly practising and being, and teaching goes the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that studying is a trap where I formed such judgment when I saw that all those things inside the book were useless, not realising that I am part of the cause of such situation, so I would take responsibility for it through embracing it to change it within it.

HI ZachWang,

This reply to your post comes very late (sorry I had not seen it before) but you asked some questions in relation to issues that everyone walking their process will sooner or later face.

When it comes to combining process with working a job in the system - then yes, off course there are rules pertaining to your work environment and you cannot out of the blue starts speaking self-forgiveness out loud and things like that. This means that while you are at work and often even on the way to work, you have to internalise your process and find ways to direct yourself 'internally' - quietly, without disturbing the flow of your work environment.

This you can do by using your 'inner voice' to speak a self-forgiveness statement - you will find that you can direct your inner voice if you combine it with breathing and grounding yourself in your body. I have sometimes even spoken self-forgiveenss when I knew I was alone for a moment and I would just move my lips and tongue to speak the words but without producing any sound. The key is to find little ways to support yourself.

As you say, some points will require you to deal with them 'later', when you are home and outside of the work environment. What i recommend here is that you have a written conversation with yourself where you write down on paper in a few words what the issue is. Then, by giving yourself a short answer in writing, you also write down a practical solution. By making it short and concise you avoid 'thinking' about it too much and you stick to simplicity. Then you practice your solution for a few days and if it does not work then you repeat the same process until you have a solution that works.