Self forgiveness can go two ways always - should I add or subtract what I am

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Paul Lombardo
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Joined: 17 Jul 2018, 20:32

Self forgiveness can go two ways always - should I add or subtract what I am

Post by Paul Lombardo »

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to drink coffee...
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to not drink coffee...
The first one is saying I am allowing myself to drink coffee because I have forgiven myself for doing so ...
The second one is saying I am allowing myself to stop drinking it because I have forgiven myself for stopping .
Kind of similar to Christian's who believe in Jesus ' forgiveness of sins. It is simply allowing them to continue sin because they have eternal forgiveness.
Question is....should i be stopping everything or ' forgiving myself ' ?

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Re: Self forgiveness can go two ways always - should I add or subtract what I am

Post by Raúl »

Yes, the perspective really changes when you go from forgiveness as understood in religions, to the forgiveness of Desteni. Forgiveness and purpose should go hand in hand, but religions forgive you from consecuence! It's like... then how can life make sense? Why are we alive? Religions, I think, like the mind, need a little push in the right direction. When you walk the Desteni process and you forgive yourself, you are taking responsability for yourself too. Sometimes if I am honest I am afraid of forgiving myself, living is risky! But living it's what I choose to be within myself in every breath, and in Eqafe I have the tools for me to walk my process and understand any part of me that I am facing in the process of forgiving myself, or taking responsability for myself, or living words, any part involved in those processes can be found at Eqafe, so, there is no reason to believe that there is something wrong with me, that I can not trust myself because I am a sinner, that's fear. All I need is self-honesty, that's the key

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Re: Self forgiveness can go two ways always - should I add or subtract what I am

Post by Kristina »

Hi Paul,

The point you want to look at more specifically within the self-forgiveness is WHY you drink coffee.... what are the thoughts you have about coffee? How do you experience yourself when you don't drink coffee? How do you experience yourself when you do drink coffee?

We are not here just looking at our actions, we are here understanding WHY we live the actions we do... what's 'behind' it, what's within it, what is influencing it as in, what exists in our mind that directs us to think, speak and do?

So the difference between forgiveness within religion and Desteni is that, precisely as Raul mentions, Self-Forgiveness, as it's shared within Desteni, is about SELF-Responsibility... Self taking responsibility for what SELF accepts and allows and does not abdicate that responsibility onto a god or a devil... the forgiveness is done within and for and from self because only self can change self. There is no one and nothing that can forgive us.

Have you walked the DIP lite course yet? It is a nice, free course that slowly walks you through these fundamental tools that we are applying in this process... the writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty, self-corrective/commitment statements. I really suggest you check it out if you haven't yet.

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Re: Self forgiveness can go two ways always - should I add or subtract what I am

Post by Marlen »

I agree, Self Responsibility to me is the essence of self forgiveness. I frankly could not relate to 'forgiveness' at the beginning of my process, so I decided to see it as a way for me to acknowledge something that I have done - accepted and allowed- to exist within me that I have now decided to change or let go of. I usually see self-forgiveness as a tool, just like you use a spade to dig a hole, that's how I usually see or visualize what self forgiveness is for. Focusing on the 'spade' itself is merely looking at it as a tool with certain purpose or potential, but by itself it simply is a thing.

So how I use self forgiveness is to precisely 'dig into' myself the aspects and things that upon writing them out, I realize I need to change, let go and take responsibility for, which comes hand in hand with giving yourself a new way, a correction, a commitment, a purpose of how you are going to redirect your previous doings towards creating a new aspect, habit or way of living that you can assess is in fact something that benefits you and so stands in the principle of what's best for all.

That's how to me forgiveness without such self-honest look and without application, is pointless, it's just like looking at the spade for what it is and not really using it for the actions it is meant to do, such as digging the hole in (analogy of self investigation through writing), then uprooting the weeds that one no longer wants to see there, understand how they got to be part of ourselves which is a recognition point as the self forgiveness statement, and then once that we got the weeds out, there's an empty hole or space now waiting to be filled with new seeds that you are now purposely and in self awareness decide to plant as the new way of living, words, habits or actions that you see are best to 'grow in your garden' which is an analogy of the process of birthing the you, the part that is directed by you in common sense which is in consideration and in assessment of that which will benefit you and be best for you and all.

So, that's how to me I got through the initial reactions to the idea or associations towards forgiveness, and I see it as the tool it is. It is only later upon reading more material, watching more videos and practicing the writing and application of forgiveness that I've been able to substantiate or give a meaning that I can relate better to to the word itself 'forgiveness.'

I share this with the intent of suggesting not to create ideas or make it a very logical 'examination' of what forgiveness is, but rather test it out as the tool that it is for the purposes I outlined up here.

I agree with Kristina, suggest getting to DIP Lite to understand the steps that are part of the process of self-forgiveness, so that it doesn't become simply a statement you configure in your mind, but more like an outflow of a process of self-examination with the intent of supporting yourself to take responsibility and the actions needed to change something in you and your life.

Let us know if you are still unclear about something and thanks for opening it up

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