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I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 08 Apr 2019, 09:52
by frank
My thoughts are always like a darkness to me.

Since been exposing to desteni, I learned the principle, the self supportive tools, and the way the process is going.

But there's always a tricky point in my mind, in which I don't understand: I don't know what my thought is talking to me, but I know it's there.

I can simply let go of the program in the moment, in which I can, but I never know what it is about. That's why I cannot sharing my self in writing.

I suppose this can fit in one of 'the design of' video that describe this phenomenon but I forget which one (austism maybe) .

Anyway, do I have a solution?

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 08 Apr 2019, 20:40
by Gabriel
Ok Frank, so let us work with this point.
frank wrote: But there's always a tricky point in my mind, in which I don't understand: I don't know what my thought is talking to me, but I know it's there.

I can simply let go of the program in the moment, in which I can, but I never know what it is about. That's why I cannot sharing my self in writing.

What I gather from what you are saying is the following: You say that you have now developed an awareness about your thoughts and you are aware of when a thought comes up in you.

Here I would say that stopping a though can happen in 2 ways: one way in which you stop a thought and it does not come back, OR the second way where you stop a thought but actually the same thought will still come back again and again.

In the second scenario, what is missing is self-honesty with regards to what the thought is about, and that is why it keeps coming back. So yes, some thoughts are easy to stop in a breath, but other thoughts will require more introspection and self-investigation. A thought that keeps coming back is like a part of you that you are not willing to look at or understand.

With introspection and self-investigation I mean self-forgiveness and writing, breathing...

If I understand you correctly, you seem to say that you perceive that you cannot investigate your thoughts in writing. Is this correct?

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 02 May 2019, 16:12
by frank
Gabriel wrote: 08 Apr 2019, 20:40 Ok Frank, so let us work with this point.
frank wrote: But there's always a tricky point in my mind, in which I don't understand: I don't know what my thought is talking to me, but I know it's there.

I can simply let go of the program in the moment, in which I can, but I never know what it is about. That's why I cannot sharing my self in writing.

What I gather from what you are saying is the following: You say that you have now developed an awareness about your thoughts and you are aware of when a thought comes up in you.

Here I would say that stopping a though can happen in 2 ways: one way in which you stop a thought and it does not come back, OR the second way where you stop a thought but actually the same thought will still come back again and again.

In the second scenario, what is missing is self-honesty with regards to what the thought is about, and that is why it keeps coming back. So yes, some thoughts are easy to stop in a breath, but other thoughts will require more introspection and self-investigation. A thought that keeps coming back is like a part of you that you are not willing to look at or understand.

With introspection and self-investigation I mean self-forgiveness and writing, breathing...

If I understand you correctly, you seem to say that you perceive that you cannot investigate your thoughts in writing. Is this correct?
I did aware of mind possesion.

What I read from you people, is that once you get possesed, the program will actually talking to you, so you can write it down what it is and forgive to release.

But what happened on me is that once I got possesed, it seems like a darkness in my mind, as it happens, because it doesn't talk to me, which makes me don't know how to describe this possession or program.

I can still do forgiveness, but quite hard to put on writing as the reason has been indicated.

Maybe I am the only person on Earth within this condition?

Anyway, is there solution?

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 02 May 2019, 17:43
by Marlen
Hey Frank, it's not needed to have thoughts in your head to have something to write about. You can still describe your experience, your physical experience, any emotions or feelings or how your body feels and you can take it from there. It's not so that the mind is only conscious thoughts as the actual words that may come up in your head, but describing how you feel at a physical level is also part of how mind takes over the body. Remember it is still you doing this to yourself as well, nothing and no one can actually 'possess' you but yourself at a mind level.

So, write out what you can in relation to this and take it from there. If you really can't and you can't actually see yourself being capable of doing this kind of self-support approach and use of the tools alone, I would suggest you seek other sources of support that may involve professional support.

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 03 May 2019, 15:45
by frank
Marlen wrote: 02 May 2019, 17:43 Hey Frank, it's not needed to have thoughts in your head to have something to write about. You can still describe your experience, your physical experience, any emotions or feelings or how your body feels and you can take it from there. It's not so that the mind is only conscious thoughts as the actual words that may come up in your head, but describing how you feel at a physical level is also part of how mind takes over the body. Remember it is still you doing this to yourself as well, nothing and no one can actually 'possess' you but yourself at a mind level.

So, write out what you can in relation to this and take it from there. If you really can't and you can't actually see yourself being capable of doing this kind of self-support approach and use of the tools alone, I would suggest you seek other sources of support that may involve professional support.
Hi, Marlen.

I can do forgiveness to let go of the program, and I can experience this on a physical level.

I rarely had conscious thoughts, it's from childhood up until now. So I quite don't know what to write. And you mentioned that you can write your experience on a physical level, how is this specifically functions?

PS: What is the purpose of Writing Yourself to Freedom blog? I mean how is it different and related to Journey to Life?

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 04 May 2019, 05:11
by YoganBarrientos
Frank I suggest you continue on your process on working/bettering yourself. Whether you are having conscious thoughts write now its not so important. When I started Desteni I wanted to change the point of being so shy, introverted, scared and quiet. So I did focus on those points. Real change does come through in the physical level and actually changing. Self-forgiveness on the mind points like thoughts are only there to help us change.

You are in a situation where you are either having thoughts but are suppressing the awareness--- maybe you have a history of meditation and so suppressing thoughts?

Your mind I suppose could be different--- However you can see for yourself whether you have emotions/feelings as energy, because at the end of the day the thoughts are fueling the Energy as emotions/feelings. Stopping the energy is key as well.

You can also be on the look out for MEMORIES and IMAGES and IMAGINATIONS that may come up in your mind as well, because you can equally write about them and open up those points for investigation.

I hope this gives you plenty to work on and consider. Remember this process takes YEARS, you won't change overnight. Signing up for the courses and utilizing eqafe will be great support as well.

Cheers!

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 05 May 2019, 09:10
by Gabriel
frank wrote: But what happened on me is that once I got possesed, it seems like a darkness in my mind, as it happens, because it doesn't talk to me, which makes me don't know how to describe this possession or program.

I can still do forgiveness, but quite hard to put on writing as the reason has been indicated.

Perhaps you can tell us a bit more about what makes you say that you got posessed? Did your behaviour change? Did you feel intense emotions? Did you feel compelled to do certain things that you would normally not do?

Remember that 'possession' simply means that one of the dimensions of your mind as one of your personalities or ego-dimensions has become forcefully stronger within you over a period of time. Often a person does not even see that they have become possessed but everyone in their environment will be able to see it because the person is acting differently. It can for instance also manifest as a sudden 'obsession' or a form of self-righteousness and/or extreme stubbornness.

Therefore 'possessions' will occur in your process when you have over a long period of time 'supressed' a certain part of your mind by not looking at it, ignoring it, by distracting yourself from the issues instead of taking self-responsibility.

Because mind posessions can sometimes take on extreme forms, even talking to a psychologist can sometimes be usefull as he/she will be able to crossrefenrence with you the degree of your possession and give you practical advice.

In the absolure I would say that for now if you cannot write out self-forgiveness then your focus should be to speak it out loud. The key is to get the structure down of self-forgiveness whether it is written or spoken. When your self-forgiveness is effective you will experience a release in your body, therefore your body will be your guide within the sounding of self-forgiveness.

In the above I have given examples of severe mind-possessions. But whether they are big or small, the approach should remain the same: self-forgiveness sproken or written and I would always recommend to also communicate with others about the issue so as to break the hold that the issue has over us. The mind has power over us because we keep issues a SECRET instead of communicating about it with ourselves and others.
frank wrote: I rarely had conscious thoughts, it's from childhood up until now. So I quite don't know what to write. And you mentioned that you can write your experience on a physical level, how is this specifically functions?

You will write down the way you feel physically, for instance: I feel very tense in my body. An exercise you can practise is to sit down and breathe and try to relax your whole body and then you will see that certain area's in your body feel constricted and/or uncomfortable such as your belly or your shoulders - and then you write down this experience and the WORDS that you connect to this physcial experience such as (for instance) 'feeling helpless', 'resentment', 'tiredness', 'sadness', whatever word comes up in you in relation to the experience. Perhaps you will even be able to relate these physical experiences to events that took place in your life such as on the previous day or the week before.

frank wrote: PS: What is the purpose of Writing Yourself to Freedom blog? I mean how is it different and related to Journey to Life?

Writing yourself to Freedom is an application (a method) we have used to share our process of self-forgiveness, self-realisation and self-change with the world. The aim is to keep your own journal online - usually through a personal blog - of your self-investigations, your self-realisations in regards to the mind and how you discover yourself as life. Writing yourself to Freedom has never been done in this world, this is why we suggest to do it on a blog or otherwise online, so as to show that we can take ownership of who we have become as the mind and reach a point of self-creation instead of remaining a slave to the past as our personalities and preprogrammed designs. You will see that those who write themselves to freedom develop a sense of self-intimacy and self-mastery which assists them in gaining clarity on issues in their lives.

The "Journey to Life" is a name that was given to all those who took part in the Writing Yourself to Freedom. In order to recognize the different blogs and to clearly state the aim of our writings, most of us started a "Journey to Life" blog where we continued what we had already been doing: writing ourselves to freedom. The additional feature of these blogs is they have been set up following some guidelines which you will find here:

http://desteni.org/community/7-year-journey-life

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 06 May 2019, 17:23
by Marlen
Some further info on the blog-writing process : check this PDF out

It is a bit old, but most of the points apply when it comes to what the writing is for and how to get started.

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 08 May 2019, 16:28
by frank
Thx, everyone.

Seeing everybody writing here quite makes me want to start my own. So here I am asking about how to write and join you people.

Yes, Gabriel. I can do forgiveness, and I can do it quietly without speaking out loud. The evidence is that I can feel that physically, as a release, a feeling of letting go. But because of the reasons that has been indicated, I still don't know how exactly I will be putting them in writing.

And this links me to a fear of my future. Because as long as I don't know how to write, I fear I can't be part of you people, so I fear what my future could be.(May be this is the thing I should put in writing?)

Re: I cannot read my thoughts

Posted: 08 May 2019, 20:38
by Gabriel
frank wrote: 08 May 2019, 16:28 (May be this is the thing I should put in writing?)
Yes :)