What can throw me off balance or make me go silent is when people judge or dislike from a point of serioussness or indirectly.
how I can talk and act in a way that will be most normal whilst also analysing to see if the other person has noticed anything unusual about me
For me, the fear of being liked has also come with this because if someone 'new' got to 'know' me then they would find out that I am experiencing reality with these strange fears which I am temperamental about exposing
- The point/s you are facing within this statement is that you are looking at acting/being a certain way according to which you perceive to be ‘normal’, so that others don’t judge you or find fault with you. So by applying the mirroring technique, one is able to effectively support self to take it back to self.how I can talk and act in a way that will be most normal whilst also analysing to see if the other person has noticed anything unusual about me
Here you are looking mainly at self-judgment, which is one of the main patterns which is being accepted and played out within the point of ‘fear of not being liked’.
Starting with how it has compounded, see that an experience can only compound through time as we go accepting and allowing backchat as self-judgment to accumulate without giving it direction. Meaning, this is you thinking, believing and perceiving yourself to be in a certain way - for example being awkward/ unusual while communicating with others. That's a point of self-judgment that you can work with and walk-through with Self Forgiveness. Thus see that because You have allowed that point of judgment, you then go into projection wherein you believe that people are judging you the same way that you have done with yourself, which is an assumption that must be stopped - and even if they would actually 'judge you' it wouldn't be really 'them judging you' but them exerting their own judgments onto others - so it's a cross-firing point so to speak, wherein our interactions when judging 'another' is always really only about ourselves, because it is what we/ I have accepted and allowed to exist and manifest within and as me = you are it.I've experienced the fear of not being liked as a total possession. It started 5 months ago and has compounded.. Like when Im with someone who is not bothered by judging me, or someone who is secure enough within that even if they do judge me it doesn't effect me because I know that they still probably like me or are doing it with the intention of being genuine. Like if you went to speak with the 'wisest' man in the world on top of some mountain, he might judge you a bit but you could tell that he's happy either way.. What can throw me off balance or make me go silent is when people judge or dislike from a point of serioussness or indirectly.
What requires to be 'clear' as a starting point is you, as you are the one that is conveying the words wherein it's to start getting to know and become aware of the words you speak. So - if the starting point is coming from you arleady wanting to 'connect' with others, it is already placing a condition to the point of communication, as you are already aiming at achieving something that is in essence already separation - as that will be a predisposition that you take into consideration, which certainly will tamper and create obstacles when communicating, because you are going into your mind in trying to see how to act and speak in a 'normal' way' while already fearing others' judgments upon you. When you walk self forgiveness on these points, you'll start realizing how you are the one that makes the entire point difficult by accepting and allowing all these thoughts to exist even before communicating - that's the backchat that you have to work with here.Ive become possessed with the overall situation of communication. Leading up to and during Im thinking about how I can talk and act in a way that will be most normal whilst also analysing to see if the other person has noticed anything unusual about me. What I have found is that if my thoughts are circulating in this fear then it is difficult to connect. The thoughts as a starting point need to be clear or the words will carry the negativity and fear. And having an emotional attachment to people who I meet and speak with means that I have been striving to make connection instead of detaching myself emotionally and talking.
If you have someone in your family that is experiencing some social fears would you judge them and criticise them indirectly through thoughts and messages to try to assist and support them? In many cases inadvertently yes, but it would be more effective to assist and support them consciously from a point of equality and then acting as a living example. When a blind person or a disabled person is raised in a family they will be able to experience life in the most abundant way when the people around them treat them as equal, allowing them to function to their potential with ease instead of creating circumstance where they are constantly functioning against an ignorant tide of doubt and negative association attributed to their innate disability. In society for the most part the latter of the scenarios exists pushing those down who are not socially adequate or who are appearing fake or not able yet to be themself because of fear. And allowing those who are most decieptful to rise to the top.
Yes, self interest as in 'protecting only those in your family, fears, and many other factors that stand within the principle of 'survival of the fittest' wherein because we live in a system wherein apparently 'not all can be granted with the benefit of having a dignified living condition' - there is an obvious fear of being 'left out' of that benefit, which is what ensues competition, rivalry, comparison and further judgments onto others, just because not everyone is equally supported within this entire world system - that's how the Equal Money System is a certain need that requires to be implemented in order to allow ourselves to see how we have been the ones that have created and imposed a system of separation, instead of creating a system of unconditional support.So why do we not translate the standard that exists 'ideally' within functional families over into society? Why do we treat people who are not our instant family any differently? It is because most of us (excluding the wise man on the mountain) carry these same fears within, a fear of being ourselves completely and instead keeping up the competitive charade or theatrical type performance and self deception that we are not all equal. It is also easier to continue this way because it prolongs the amount of time before people have to face self revelation. Its kind of like, if a child was lost or homeless on the street people would come to their aid. But if an adult is homeless or lost or psychologically challenged (including the 'sociopaths' who control the financial system) then they are usually just disregarded, rejected, judged, critiqued, criticised, ignored.
More than 'guilty' which is yet another excuse and usual victimization point we use in order to not take self responsibility - the same with blame - rather look at how we have ALL participated within these defense mechanisms which come out of fears, self created judgments that turn into fears. That's how we work with each thought that we create within ourselves and project onto others as it is within doing that, that we can in fact make sure we become the living example of what stopping the accepted and allowed separation actually is. So - self forgiveness on the guilt and further blame onto 'others,' always taking the point back to self. And also realize that creating an experience out of having to 'expose' yourself is just an added layer of self judgment that is not necessary if you are already seeing/ realizing how it is only that: judgments, fears, self-beliefs that you are here to share in order to support yourself to stop them = no need to be temperamental or judgmental about it, that's the first point I suggest realizing so that the entire unfolding of writing out the backchat is then done within this basic realization and understanding:we are here to stop all judgments and expectations of ourselves in order to be able to work with 'what is here' in the moment when writing and being willing to walk the entire process to support yourself, which is applied in all cases, invariably so.For me, the fear of being liked has also come with this because if someone 'new' got to 'know' me then they would find out that I am experiencing reality with these strange fears which I am temperamental about exposing, so I am as guilty as anyone looking at self deception. To overcome this Im remaining sensible and not attempting to please.
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