Understanding anger

Ask questions related to your individual process or life in the experience of yourself and mind - pertaining to thoughts, emotions, feelings, behaviours, habits etc. This thread is dedicated to those who'd like to understand more about the inner-workings of your own mind and then effects of this on your life and relationships.
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Daniel Martinez
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Joined: 22 Aug 2017, 19:25

Understanding anger

Post by Daniel Martinez »

What is anger? What does anger mean? What does anger show one about one's relationship with oneself? How is anger self dishonest?
I'm interested in understanding anger so that I can effectively walk a point of anger.

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Kristina
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Re: Understanding anger

Post by Kristina »

Hey Daniel,

You may be the best person to ask yourself because if you are facing a point of anger in relation to something or someone (perhaps yourself included), you have all the information you need to understand it within yourself. It's in your thoughts, and your experience, in the moment as it played out, how it was triggered, what memories it brought up.

For myself, I've experienced anger as a point of self-dishonesty where I become angry at another person for doing something or not doing something that I judge as wrong or bad or inconsiderate, and within that, through self-investigation (writing, self-forgiveness, and talking to others about it), I could see the anger towards that point outside of myself was actually something I was doing myself, but because I had not yet taken self-responsibility for myself and my same actions - I instead projected blame onto others for doing the exact same thing. For me, it was a way to abdicate my self-responsibility.

And then I've had anger where it was self-honest... where it was a point of 'enough is enough' within me and it supported me to make and take a stand in relation to something. A "till here no further' type of point if you will.

So it takes YOU understanding YOU in that moment of anger to say if it was self-dishonest or self-honest. It's never one or the other - there are no absolutes or right or wrong or 'it's this way or that way'. It's unique for each individual because each individual is unique. So ask yourself about the experience, Daniel - what were the thoughts, define the emotions, trace the memories. Give specific words to what you are facing and see if you cannot see through that the source of the anger into the nature of it as being self-honest or self-dishonest.

Can share the point here if you'd like for further perspective from others.

Marlen
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Re: Understanding anger

Post by Marlen »

Here's also a video that can be supportive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku9zYtj0t9w Anger Management 101

And I fully agree with Kristina, that's the perfect question to ask yourself about it and write it out for you. So I rather invite that you share back what you find when answering your own question to understand who you are as anger, because it is a very individual process for everyone as well.

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Kristina
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Re: Understanding anger

Post by Kristina »

I had a cool realization today, however, specifically about anger in communication with others. I realized it's not a natural expression... it exists as a consequence of who we've accepted and allowed ourselves to be. I cannot see in a world of equality and oneness, where each is equally responsible for themselves as all as life as equal as one where we would need to express anger towards each other. Was kind of startling to realize Anger is not natural and wouldn't have a place to manifest if all communicated responsibly with each other. Like whoa... mind blown :o ! lol

So something we can all work towards... life as equals :)

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Godfrey
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Joined: 21 Oct 2018, 16:49

Re: Understanding anger

Post by Godfrey »

Anger in my opinion can be useful, its an extension of fear and/or manifested frustration(dishonesty).

I've thought about this at some length within the context of disgust/anger towards homelessness and the poor.

Writing as someone who's live in big American cities his whole life, surrounded by an epidemic of homelessness.

We hate the beggar - we get angry when we are asked for money. WHY ---> that anger --- is frustration at a world that allows homelessness. And our willing/powerlessness participation/helplessness. Its not selfishness its the inherent empathy we have for others.

Its unfortunate so many are dishonest with themselves, and mistake their empathy for anger.

We only hate the ones we love. You have to have a vested interest in order to have an emotional attachment... if we're mentally stable that is.
my religion is to do good and my country is the world

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